I'm so torn on this. First of all, all my family is 1000 miles away. I am going back for a wedding in October and then (Fingers crossed) for Thanksgiving. I think October is just too soon, and I feel like Thanksgiving may be too late for traveling across country. I am due 1/17/17
2 of my sisters have offered to do it, whenever works for me. I feel like Thanksgiving weekend, or the weekend before Thanksgiving would work the best for me. But, I don't know how guests would feel about that. If we were to do Thanksgiving I might fly out there (so I can get out there for the weekend before) and have DH drive the car (so we can take gifts home) and then I will drive back with him. But the whole thought of driving from Texas to FL while 34 weeks pregnant makes me nervous. UGH! Anyone ever been in this situation before?
Our shower will either be 11/5 or 11/12 (waiting on my RN hubby to find out if he can get 11/12 off because that would be my preference given the Friday before is Veteran's day and my out of state Mom and SIL would both have it off for travel). We already booked the venue (one of our favorite restaurants near our house with a function room) for 11/5 and will change to 11/12 once we know (as both are available now). We figured our date out pretty quickly because DH's work schedule means we lose half our weekend options, and then I worry that much later than this we will run into people having holiday parties/commitments. Also where a lot of my family and friends are in NY, I do not want to worry about them dealing with snow/weather issues driving to Mass, and starting in mid-November that will be a concern (sometimes even earlier!).
@AmRe214 Oh my!! That's a long drive! My husband and I just drove from Dallas, TX to Destin, FL last year, and boy is it long and boring, but at least it's a smooth one. I hope you have a nice spacious car.
Would you drive straight there? Or get a hotel mid-way?
I say do it when it works for you. With my first I had some family members throw one at like 23 weeks which I felt was early but it was when family was going to be in town so it was good to be able to include everyone. I think my other one's were around 30 weeks. I'm not a fan of the 4-6 weeks prior, I think a good 8 weeks prior is better because if you are waiting to get some of the big stuff until after your shower when you know what you get (or have gift cards) you need some time to finish shopping and finalizing stuff and doing that at 36 weeks isn't fun. I went in to labor at 37 weeks and a friend of mine just went at 35 weeks. I've attended 2 showers where the mom was not in attendance because she was in labor (these were planned about 2 weeks from due date which most would agree is probably too late). It was fun because we all opened her gifts and they recorded it but I'm sure the mom missed out on having her shower. So, these are some of my situations I've experienced so really, any time you want to have a shower is fine in my opinion. I like 26-32 weeks personally
Also, in regards to the question about how people do showers (one big, a few small) again, it's what works for you. My aunts on my mom's side of the family hosted one shower for that side of the family. My sister and sister-in-law hosted a shower that included my dad's side of the family, some non-work friends, and my in-laws. My husbands side of the family is huge (upwards of 30 cousins or so) and they just don't do much like this in the realm of extended family so we just included my mil, sil, and husbands nieces with this shower. Then I had some friends from work that hosted a small shower for me. Off topic but similar, for my bridal shower, we just had one big one that included all family and friends (it was large for the space but it was a good time).
I'm not sure how to do this.. bc I now live in California and all my friends are in Ontario or Vancouver I can't ask them to fly out for my shower.
And at this time I won't be able to fly myself.
What would you girls do?
They might just send you a gift! With my dd all my friends in Ontario got together and shipped me a huge parcel full of baby things, it was the sweetest gift ever (and probably hella expensive). Obviously you wouldn't want to ask them for anything but, I'd still maybe send out an invite to the shower?
Definitely still invite them! Even if they can't come it lets them know you wish they were there. My friends in northern California couldn't come to my southern California shower and instead surprised me by throwing a small second shower. It was so sweet of them and meant a lot to me. I'm sure your friends will want to do something for you! You could also fly up to visit them before you're restricted, just to celebrate and spend some time with them (not sure if that's feasible)? It's amazing how much friends and family want to celebrate your baby with you.
How are people doing their shower(s)? One big one, or a few small ones? I have DH's family, my family, friends...it might be nice to just do one big one?
With DS my mom threw one big co-ed one with all our family and close friends and it was so much fun. I ended up having a second smaller one that friends threw for us as well, also co-ed. I really liked DH being there for both.
I'm not sure if we'll have one this time around, I'm not expecting anything.
I know what you're going through though! I lived overseas (numerous countries) for years, and then have moved three times since coming back to the States three years ago. My husband and I have been in Oregon for four months now and I still barely know anyone -- I telecommute and work from home. My closest friends are scattered across the globe. If I have a shower, it'll probably be very small (but still lovely).
My DH's office threw us a shower when I was about 32 weeks along. I had one big shower with all family and friends in the area at my mom's house when I was 35 weeks. That's was perfect for me. I wouldn't have wanted it any later. I don't expect a shower or sprinkle this time around but I wouldn't be surprised if my sister tried to organize something. She's all about celebrating each child. I wouldn't be opposed to something small with a few friends but I'm not expecting it.
I'm due on the 12th so my mom and MIL are planning on the first weekend in November, that way it doesn't coincide with holiday parties! I agree with many of you ladies, doing it a little early is great so then you have time to put stuff away, do a little nesting, figure out what else you need. I still am having a hard time believing this is all happening!
@amre214 wowza driving 1300miles plus while that far along will be quite the adventure. I would ask your doctor if he has any concerns about it. Will you do it in two trip stopping somewhere or a complete drive through?
I used to do the drive from Toronto, Ontario to Hollywood, Florida in one sweep with a driving buddy and we only stopped for gas/potty breaks. It was 10years ago and back then it was quite the trek. I also did the drive alone in two intervals and stopped in south Carolina but it was still very tough.
I don't want to discourage you but is it worth it? Maybe ask for gift cards or ask the girls to print off the gift off and insert it into the card then order it on Amazon that way it can be shipped to your house.
Or pay for the extra bag it may be cheaper then the gas and hotel you and hubby will pay..
I'm so torn on this. First of all, all my family is 1000 miles away. I am going back for a wedding in October and then (Fingers crossed) for Thanksgiving. I think October is just too soon, and I feel like Thanksgiving may be too late for traveling across country. I am due 1/17/17
2 of my sisters have offered to do it, whenever works for me. I feel like Thanksgiving weekend, or the weekend before Thanksgiving would work the best for me. But, I don't know how guests would feel about that. If we were to do Thanksgiving I might fly out there (so I can get out there for the weekend before) and have DH drive the car (so we can take gifts home) and then I will drive back with him. But the whole thought of driving from Texas to FL while 34 weeks pregnant makes me nervous. UGH! Anyone ever been in this situation before?
My older half sister lives in CA, but hadn't been there for long when she was expecting her first. We threw a shower for her in NY with family and all her close friends. A lot of people just ordered stuff off her registry and had it sent to CA, and then brought a card or printout to the shower.
Some people brought smaller gifts that she could take back on the plane, and we just shipped any bigger items back to CA for her. Asking guests to send bigger items directly to your house might be an option over making that long drive when you're that far along. There's probably a way to do this politely/discreetly via the registry or shower invitations.
I am due Jan 5th so we were gonna do it sometime in Nov. but it worked out to do it a tad earlier on Oct 29th because my mother in law will be in town. I will be 30 weeks at that point
My mom is planning for the weekend of October 16th to avoid interfering with the holiday months, I will be about 27 weeks. She was originally thinking sometime in September but I talked her out of it! I feel like it's good because there will still be plenty of time to plan, organize and get things if I need. We will have one big one with both sides since my family is larger.
I'll probably be having most of mine in October, with maybe one of them at the beginning of November (my family is big on both sides and DH's too so I will literally have 4 showers! lawwwwd. I had 6 wedding showers thrown for me!). Anyway.. since I'm due New Years Day, it would be nice to have the showers out of the way before the holiday's start and everyone starts traveling out of town for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Am I the only one requesting it after the baby? It is our first but we don't want to find out the gender and I kind of feel a bit cautious about the whole thing. I have heard too many stillbirth horror stories and a house full of stuff would only make that harder. Plus my DH and I have fertility issues so it wouldn't be as easy as just trying again.
Maybe I am just too paranoid but I have had lots of friends have them after baby as a meet and greet and I think that just fits my personality more!
I wouldn't say no if someone wanted to throw one before but I know my best friends and family plan to wait until after
Am I the only one requesting it after the baby? It is our first but we don't want to find out the gender and I kind of feel a bit cautious about the whole thing. I have heard too many stillbirth horror stories and a house full of stuff would only make that harder. Plus my DH and I have fertility issues so it wouldn't be as easy as just trying again.
Maybe I am just too paranoid but I have had lots of friends have them after baby as a meet and greet and I think that just fits my personality more!
I wouldn't say no if someone wanted to throw one before but I know my best friends and family plan to wait until after
I kind of feel like this too. I'm a little superstitious about baby showers, though I know the fear is probably unfounded.
I actually told told my husband when we first found out I was pregnant that I don't want a shower at all. Partially because of my superstitions and partially because while my aunt threw me a lovely bridal shower, the weeks leading up to it were very stressful for various reasons. I have a really big family and it's hard to keep this sort of thing low key/inexpensive.
I figured my mom would ask about throwing a baby shower and I would just ask her to buy us something we need, in lieu of spending the money on a shower.
Now I'm kind of on the fence and just waiting to see if my mom or my sisters bring it up with me. If they're really gung ho about having the shower for the sake of celebrating (I can see my mom being like this now), then I'll happily accept the offer and go along with whatever they plan. If it seems like planning a shower will be stressful and burdensome for anyone I won't mind if we forgo it.
Am I the only one requesting it after the baby? It is our first but we don't want to find out the gender and I kind of feel a bit cautious about the whole thing. I have heard too many stillbirth horror stories and a house full of stuff would only make that harder. Plus my DH and I have fertility issues so it wouldn't be as easy as just trying again.
Maybe I am just too paranoid but I have had lots of friends have them after baby as a meet and greet and I think that just fits my personality more!
I wouldn't say no if someone wanted to throw one before but I know my best friends and family plan to wait until after
My big hesitation about having it after baby is (assuming baby will be there for the party) all the germs and people wanting to hold and touch baby, especially in the middle of winter.
@underthesea Most of my friends have it a month or more after baby is born so germs seem less scary. Plus no one feels party ready after just having a baby.
We're going to have one big, coed shower on 10/29. I'll be 30 weeks. Our families are both big and most birthdays are in the Fall so it's already busy before considering Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. Thanks to the ongoing drought, we'll very likely have an outdoor party with good weather. We're probably going to hire a Taquero or bbq caterer because no one wants to cook for 100 people.
I'm very hesitant about having so many people. My husband really enjoyed the coed showers he's been to and wants his friends and male family involved. I had thought we would have a coed shower with friends and then another smaller shower with the women in the families, but my mom thinks two showers is in bad taste and sees no problem with 100 people. There's just more people when you involve all the guys.
@underthesea I have always hated the idea of a sip and see for that reason! Even if it's a month or so after, with so many people wanting to touch, hold, kiss, hug a baby I would be SO uncomfortable even if they are people I love dearly. However I am also not one to pass my baby around at large functions either. I feel stressed by it and I have always wondered what a baby would feel being passed from person to person.
I'm in agreement about no sip and see! We didn't really have one with DD but DH's immediate family is huge. 30+ and we ended up at his parents house when she was about a month old and the entire family showed up and I was so stressed about all the kids running around her and wanting to touch her hands and face and kiss her and all the people passing her around and that was in July. I can't imagine being less stressed in the middle of cold and flu and RSV season. People love babies and that's fine but omg please don't touch my baby when I know you were just coughing into your hand over there on the other side of the room.
@PaukMeKiande I just saw this thread. I think my due date is really close to yours (I'm 1/23/17) and I'm having a shower in November, either Nov. 12 or 19. I don't think it's too early, and I don't want to have one in December. The entire month of December is always over-scheduled for everyone with the holidays, so I figure November before Thanksgiving is going to be my best bet. Plus, I can still do an "autumn" theme, which is what I want to do.
TTC January 2016 BFP May 17, 2016 DS born January 31st, 2017: Rory "Mac" MacKinnon
@aishmc I plan on having two parties. I'll have one for my families and the girls... which will be 50 or so people. And another coed which I'll mainly make a giant party for our friends and a small amount of family. Again like 50 people.
Mine are totally different groups and I don't think would mix well. I say do two parties if you want them. It's a little more reasonable people wise and if yours are like mine they will be VERY different parties.
Due January 2 and the MiL is planning my shower for November 6. My sister and mom live out of town so we had to find a weekend that works best for everyone to come
Me: 34, DH: 33 // Met: 10.21.2007 // Married: 9.18.2015 BFP: 4.29.2016 // EDD: 1.2.2017 (IT'S A BOY!) Born 12/26/16 BFP: 2.10.19 // and MC on 3.19.19 BFP: 7.9.19 // EDD 3.16.20
I'm having two! My SIL was desperate to throw me one for some reason, so why not. And then my mom's throwing me one on 11/19. Haven't decided if we're doing coed or not...
My sister just asked me last night if I thought early-mid November would be good for my shower. That way, it's enough ahead of the holidays that it doesn't interfere with any other plans. It seems time flies in late November-December, and pretty much every weekend in December is crammed full of errands and parties.
Once we do decide on a date, I think we'll send invites out slightly earlier than we typically would, just so people can get it on their calendars early, since it's a busy time of year.
Me: 28 | DH: 31 Together since 2006 | Married May 2015 TTC #1 since November 2015 BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
So I'm on baby #3. I was thinking of just having a gender reveal/diaper party. I still have pretty much everything from both my girls. But I still want a little something for this baby. I'm thinking of having it at about 20 or 22wks. Has anyone else had a gender reveal/diaper party?
Im hoping for an early November baby shower. My husband already told me to do it with the ladies because he'd rather help unpack vs open and unpack hahaha.. Coed baby showers around my area are pretty unheard of. Not that Im against it, but much harder to get the husband to not be weirded out by it.
So I'm on baby #3. I was thinking of just having a gender reveal/diaper party. I still have pretty much everything from both my girls. But I still want a little something for this baby. I'm thinking of having it at about 20 or 22wks. Has anyone else had a gender reveal/diaper party?
I think a sex reveal party would be the better option than a diaper party.
I've never been a fan of parties where I'm being told what I have to bring as a gift.
We're planning a baby shower for November 12th. I'll be 32 weeks by then and I don't want to have it too close to Thanksgiving or Christmas. It's a little earlier than normal but we figured this would be the best time frame for everyone to be able to come.
I don't think diaper parties tell guests to only bring diapers it's just a common thing people do for their 2nd+ baby and usually they just say something about no gifts being necessary but diapers are always welcome. My mom and I always got an outfit to go with the diapers.
Diapers are a great gift! I went to a baby shower this weekend and they had a diaper raffle. For every box of diaper you brought you received a raffle ticket and the prize was a really large beach bag filled with all kinds of awesome gifts, it was a great idea! I am totally stealing that for my shower. It being a raffle makes it optional and at the same time fun.
I don't think diaper parties tell guests to only bring diapers it's just a common thing people do for their 2nd+ baby and usually they just say something about no gifts being necessary but diapers are always welcome. My mom and I always got an outfit to go with the diapers.
It's not common in my area so that could be why I find them to be odd.
From my understanding, the concept of a diaper party was created to include the fathers-to-be in the celebratory process. However, I'm sure this has stretched to include moms-to-be as well. The idea is to bring diapers to a diaper party, hence the name. And this is where I take a small issue with it because i don't want to be told what I have to spend my money on. If I want to give someone a gift, I want it to be a gift that I've selected with thought and care.
If the couple wants diapers, then they can include diapers on their registry. I'm ok with the fact that I'm probably alone with this mindset but it's how I feel. I'm not a fan of people asking for specific gifts and this has become a trend amongst the expecting community.
Sorry, yes I can see how it could be uncommon in certain areas, I just have always felt it was started due to the complaints about even having a party for 2nd+ babies when some areas feel that's tacky.
Here everyone asks the parents what they want/need, we typically say no needs but diapers are helpful but to get whatever they want. I guess it just never crossed my mind that suggesting diapers would come across as demanding that's what they get. But also, I personally have never seen a couple try to manipulate the gifts they get, so I can see how the diaper thing could rub someone the wrong way who has witnessed that many times.
Diaper parties are pretty common around where I live. I've never heard of one including mothers though. It is a guy party where they bring diapers and wipes and then sit around eating and drinking beer. Playing Pool, poker etc. My husbands friends are throwing him one. And he's been to many!
Due Jan 26 But it's my 3rd cs so the dr said I'll go about 2 weeks early this time. With my first I was 35 or 36 weeks at me shower. My mom wanted to do a sprinkle for me this time (it's a girl after 2 boys), the week before Thanksgiving, but my Brother and soon to be sister in law (also the god parents) are getting married 11/12 and will be on their honeymoon. So right now we are toying with the weekend of Thanksgiving of the weekend after. So I think that puts me at 32-33 weeks. My other sil just had hers at 29 weeks.
Re: When will you have your baby shower?
@AmRe214 Oh my!! That's a long drive! My husband and I just drove from Dallas, TX to Destin, FL last year, and boy is it long and boring, but at least it's a smooth one. I hope you have a nice spacious car.
Would you drive straight there? Or get a hotel mid-way?
I'm not sure if we'll have one this time around, I'm not expecting anything.
I used to do the drive from Toronto, Ontario to Hollywood, Florida in one sweep with a driving buddy and we only stopped for gas/potty breaks. It was 10years ago and back then it was quite the trek. I also did the drive alone in two intervals and stopped in south Carolina but it was still very tough.
I don't want to discourage you but is it worth it? Maybe ask for gift cards or ask the girls to print off the gift off and insert it into the card then order it on Amazon that way it can be shipped to your house.
Or pay for the extra bag it may be cheaper then the gas and hotel you and hubby will pay..
Some people brought smaller gifts that she could take back on the plane, and we just shipped any bigger items back to CA for her. Asking guests to send bigger items directly to your house might be an option over making that long drive when you're that far along. There's probably a way to do this politely/discreetly via the registry or shower invitations.
We will have one big one with both sides since my family is larger.
Sawyer Ryanne due Jan 1, 2017
Maybe I am just too paranoid but I have had lots of friends have them after baby as a meet and greet and I think that just fits my personality more!
I wouldn't say no if someone wanted to throw one before but I know my best friends and family plan to wait until after
I actually told told my husband when we first found out I was pregnant that I don't want a shower at all. Partially because of my superstitions and partially because while my aunt threw me a lovely bridal shower, the weeks leading up to it were very stressful for various reasons. I have a really big family and it's hard to keep this sort of thing low key/inexpensive.
I figured my mom would ask about throwing a baby shower and I would just ask her to buy us something we need, in lieu of spending the money on a shower.
Now I'm kind of on the fence and just waiting to see if my mom or my sisters bring it up with me. If they're really gung ho about having the shower for the sake of celebrating (I can see my mom being like this now), then I'll happily accept the offer and go along with whatever they plan. If it seems like planning a shower will be stressful and burdensome for anyone I won't mind if we forgo it.
I'm very hesitant about having so many people. My husband really enjoyed the coed showers he's been to and wants his friends and male family involved. I had thought we would have a coed shower with friends and then another smaller shower with the women in the families, but my mom thinks two showers is in bad taste and sees no problem with 100 people. There's just more people when you involve all the guys.
Due 1/21/17
TTC January 2016
BFP May 17, 2016
DS born January 31st, 2017: Rory "Mac" MacKinnon
Mine are totally different groups and I don't think would mix well. I say do two parties if you want them. It's a little more reasonable people wise and if yours are like mine they will be VERY different parties.
BFP: 4.29.2016 // EDD: 1.2.2017 (IT'S A BOY!) Born 12/26/16
BFP: 2.10.19 // and MC on 3.19.19
BFP: 7.9.19 // EDD 3.16.20
Once we do decide on a date, I think we'll send invites out slightly earlier than we typically would, just so people can get it on their calendars early, since it's a busy time of year.
Me: 28 | DH: 31
Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
TTC #1 since November 2015
BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017
I've never been a fan of parties where I'm being told what I have to bring as a gift.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
From my understanding, the concept of a diaper party was created to include the fathers-to-be in the celebratory process. However, I'm sure this has stretched to include moms-to-be as well. The idea is to bring diapers to a diaper party, hence the name. And this is where I take a small issue with it because i don't want to be told what I have to spend my money on. If I want to give someone a gift, I want it to be a gift that I've selected with thought and care.
If the couple wants diapers, then they can include diapers on their registry. I'm ok with the fact that I'm probably alone with this mindset but it's how I feel. I'm not a fan of people asking for specific gifts and this has become a trend amongst the expecting community.
::shrugs::
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Here everyone asks the parents what they want/need, we typically say no needs but diapers are helpful but to get whatever they want. I guess it just never crossed my mind that suggesting diapers would come across as demanding that's what they get. But also, I personally have never seen a couple try to manipulate the gifts they get, so I can see how the diaper thing could rub someone the wrong way who has witnessed that many times.
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014