Oldest Child becoming very attached to Mommy

abcms91619 · July 2016

My 5 year old daughter has become very attached to me here lately. With a another brother coming here soon, starting Kindergarten, and moving into a new house, I know it is probably a bit much for her right now. Just wanting maybe suggestions on how to ease all this change happening for her. She's in tears sometimes if mommy won't rock her to bed or do something that she wants at the moment. I am loving all the extra attention, but I'm just worried when the baby gets here that she really is going to have a meltdown

mhilpisch10 · July 2016

Both my boys (2 and 1) have been so clingy lately!! Both crawling and shoving each other to sit in my lap (which is a pretty small space these days). I remember when DS2 was born it was slightly easier when the baby came bc I could say I'm sorry but I need to take care of Simon right now. Seeing the baby helped him understand. He would have some melt downs but eventually started just reading a book or playing with something while I nursed.
You aren't alone.

JennM205 · July 2016

My DD (almost 3) has been very clingy with me over the past several months as well. Several times per day, she insists I do something for / with her instead of DH (often when DH is right there and totally available to help). She gets upset (like an all-out sob-fest) when I do something as simple as go to the bathroom without her. I worry sometimes how she will respond with the new baby coming as my attention will obviously be divided but we talk a lot about how things will be different. We discuss how baby won't be able to walk or talk or feed him/herself and will need me to help with those things. We talk about ways she will be able to help out, too. We talk about how baby might cry a lot and how that will make her feel, etc etc. We talk a lot. I think it helps but I'm also kind of resigned to just dealing with it when the time comes. There's so little we can really do to prepare ahead of time. Good luck and I hope it's not as bad as you're fearing.

CRich15 · July 2016

I don't remember really having this issue when I was having DS2 because DS1 was only 20 months old when he was born and we just kinda fell into our routine without much fuss. We are more worried about incorporating DD with the boys because they are 6 and 4 and understand a little more but DS2 therapist had suggested we turn them into little helpers so it isn't so much of a shock and so they can feel like they are apart of the baby's life and like they aren't taking over their world entirely.

estephenson13 · July 2016

My DD 5 has been alternating between being SO excited for a baby and freaking out if I leave her side. I feel bad for my husband, it's like he is dealing with two hormonal freaks right now! I don't know how to help my DD aside from talking/books/cartoons with new babies (new doc mcstuffins is perfect timing!!) I think that's all we can do for now, it will be a learning phase for everyone once the baby arrives

mhilpisch10 · July 2016

My 2 year old refuses to let my husband do so many things now. I have to get him out of his crib, car seat. Have to get his bottle. He's starting to understand I can't hold him as much bc my belly is too big. It's exhausting and I feel bad for DH bc Sebastian used to be such a daddy's boy.

Flowr4246 · July 2016

Does she have a chore chart? Anything to make her feel like she's contributing to helping you out? I know that seems self-serving, but my daughter LOVED feeling like she was part of things, especially after my son arrived. Even stupid stuff like, "Please throw out this diaper," made her feel included and happy and (most importantly) not resentful of the extra time C was getting.

I'd also make it a point to carve out a few hours each week to spend one-on-one with her. Go to the park, read an extra bedtime story, have an ice cream date. It'll go a long way to making her feel special because you'll be able to say that your littler one isn't old enough to get such special treatment yet - that it's unique for you and her.

abcms91619 · July 2016

Thank you all! Its good to see I am not alone. And thank you for all the suggestions! We will make it through this!

Sammi0888 · July 2016

We have been going through the same thing. My daughter starts Kindergarten the day before my due date and I know that starting big girl school has her nervous. In addition to that we just moved into a new home and with being so exhausted I haven't been able to make it feel like "home" yet. Living out of boxes is no fun!
One thing that we just started doing this past week is a chore chart. She loves feeling like she is helping. I've also noticed that including her in every part possible to get her baby brothers room ready has been fun for her. Helping me decide where clothes/blankets should go, putting up decor, etc. Since we just moved and don't have everything unpacked and table surfaces are covered, we've been having "picnics" and "camping" in the living room. At this point my couch is so much more comfy for me so it's a win-win. She knows that it won't be permanent and it's some fun mommy-daughter time before she starts school and brother comes. I also just started a letter for her. A sweet letter to read to her before baby comes and hopefully something she'll hang on to for years as an adult. Lots of park trips, involving her with chores and lots of crafts. Especially drawings and coloring for baby brother. Good luck mama!

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