TTC but oh so nervous.

Katieofcourse · July 2015

Hi ladies, I'm sure I'm not alone in this so here it goes, my husband and I are going to start trying, it will be our first and I cannot shake my nerves. I want to have a baby more than anything but I'm the type of person to obsess and think about every little detail. Like what if I'm miserable my whole pregnancy. What if I cannot take the pains of labor. What if what if what if. And I live a very natural lifestyle so even considering any type of medication during labor isn't an option. But since I've never experienced such pain what if I give in and need something. I'm afraid of feeling like a failure and I'm terrified of the pain. Does this mean I'm not ready.

cjt121413 · July 2015

I think it's normal to worry about this stuff.

I've found the more I educate myself about it the less I worry. welcome and good luck

Lulucooks · July 2015

Katieofcourse said:
Hi ladies, I'm sure I'm not alone in this so here it goes, my husband and I are going to start trying, it will be our first and I cannot shake my nerves. I want to have a baby more than anything but I'm the type of person to obsess and think about every little detail. Like what if I'm miserable my whole pregnancy. What if I cannot take the pains of labor. What if what if what if. And I live a very natural lifestyle so even considering any type of medication during labor isn't an option. But since I've never experienced such pain what if I give in and need something. I'm afraid of feeling like a failure and I'm terrified of the pain. Does this mean I'm not ready.

I think it's normal to be nervous. I have some irrational fears myself. But you can't let that dictate how you proceed. The pain of delivery is a very short thing. In years time you won't even remember it. Take things one step at a time. If you are sick during pregnancy deal with that then. If you need medication during delivery deal with that then. You can plan, but realize that plans fall through, with pregnancy and delivery and children. Find a doctor who will help you stick with your plan, but will also tell you when you cant. Because a healthy baby is far more important then if you succumb to getting medical intervention during child birth.

Katieofcourse · July 2015

You are so right. I just need to stop stressing and go with the flow. Thank you.

BOH1025 · July 2015

Fear of the unknown is always scary. Take this whole process 1 step at a time!

Carazona5 · July 2015

I think this is pretty normal and doesn't mean you aren't ready. Once you're pregnant you just deal with what comes, what else can you do? I have the exact fears you to but I still want it.

LoveIsOwlYouNeed · July 2015

What others have said. Take it one thing at a time, and try to cross those bridges when you get there. Think of it as really good preparation for having a LO someday.

blissette134 · July 2015

I am also TTC #1, and completely feel the same way. But I keep thinking to myself that the reward (baby) will be SO worth all of the pain and anxiety. It's an overwhelming journey, and although we just started, it's all a part of the experience, right?

Linsbins · July 2015

You live a natural lifestyle- but why can't you take medication if you need it? You'll be fine. Worry about getting KU first. Once the baby's in, it has to get out. Millions of women have been fine doing it before you.

Katieofcourse · July 2015

I keep watching and reading wonderful happy births and its so encouraging. I know I can do this I just need to remind myself every step of the way.

Katieofcourse · July 2015

I prefer to use herbs and meditate my way through sickness or pain to heal. I'm hoping I am able to do the same during pregnancy and labor. The fear of not being able to is what makes me so uncertain.

PugsandKisses · July 2015

Fear is normal.
so what if you are miserable, it is only 9 month. You just deal with it. (Miserable pregnancis here, and yes I bitched about it, but I just dealt with it.)
don't worry about labor, that is forever away. Focus on today, getting pregnant. Plus, you may not have labor and need a c/s, who knows at this point.

Yes, I am a planner. And yes, you have to plan for some basic 'what if', but pregnancy and labor/delivery and children do not always follow plans. They do their own thing and being flexible and open will save you a lot of stress and anxiety.

mrstmoose · July 2015

@Katieofcourse - I admire any woman who wants to give birth naturally! Fear is normal, it sounds like you have a great way of coping.

I, on the other hand, practically skipped out of an appointment with a client the other day after she told me that the hospital I plan on giving birth at gives the epidural in an IV instead of the shot now! Woohoo!

Either way, good luck on your journey!

:-j

stillclever17 · July 2016

@Katieofcourse I think your fears are normal. You're not alone. I feel crippled by the fear that something will be wrong with my future child, or they will die from complications, or having a baby will hurt my relationship with my husband. I also have a lot of fear about this new journey of ttc. Anxiety is a b*tch! Try not to let it get you down. You know deep down what you want and what you're capable of doing.

NamelessAria · July 2016

I think it is totally normal to feel excited but nervous about starting TTC. I know I've seen a lot of ladies talk about how when they started TTC they were excited but also a little terrified. I think having some thoughts about "what if I'm totally and completely sick and miserable my whole pregnancy?" is pretty normal. And I think some thoughts about labor is totally normal also.

What if I cannot take the pains of labor.

I don't believe for a minute that you cannot take the pains of labor. I think you may want medication. I think you may feel like it was a truly horrible experience that you're not exited at all to ever repeat again. I mean, you never really hear anyone say "I can't wait to have another child because labor is so amazing and fun!" You typically hear things like "pregnancy was kinda rough and labor was pure hell but I'll do what I have to do to have another baby." Women have been giving birth for as long as the world has existed. I don't know you but I don't think all those women has some super power you don't have. I believe you can do it!

And I live a very natural lifestyle so even considering any type of medication during labor isn't an option. But since I've never experienced such pain what if I give in and need something. I'm afraid of feeling like a failure and I'm terrified of the pain.

Sure you don't know how you'll handle labor pain till you're there experiencing it. And yeah you may end up giving in and asking for some medication. Or, who knows, you may end up in a situation where you can't have a natural birth and need a c-section. I think you have to accept that you just can't know how it will all happen but that you'll cross that bridge when you get there. And when you get there you just have to make the best decision you can at the time for yourself and your baby. There is absolutely no reason to feel like a failure if things don't go how you planned.

Does this mean I'm not ready.

I don't think it means you're not ready. I remember when I was making the decision to start TTC. A month or two before my husband and I actually started TTC I was talking with a close friend of mine about the whole TTC process. I told him how I'd been raised by narcissists and how I was terrified of being emotionally abusive to my future child like my parents were to me. I told him how I was terrified that with my Interstitial Cystitis and everything else I would struggle to get through pregnancy and I was worried about all the pain/discomfort. I talked about how I was a little scared of the whole labor and delivery process. I confided in him that I was worried that my husband and I weren't really ready and that maybe having a baby would change our relationship for the worse. And I talked about so many more fears/worries/uncertainties. My friend patiently listened to everything I said and when I was finished he calmly but firmly told me that he truly believed that none of that meant I wasn't ready or that I'd be a bad mother. He assured me that, from his point of view, having thought about all that was a good sign and not a bad sign. He said: "Honestly, I'd be more worried about you not being ready or how you may be a bad mother if you told me you hadn't considered any of that type stuff at all. I think the fact that you've put some long hard thought into this decision is a great sign." I thought about what he said a lot over the next couple of days and decided that I really liked it and I agreed with it. I'd definitely be more concerned about someone making a life changing decision (like TTC) without giving it some long, hard thought.

I think it is great that you've spent some time thinking about everything. But now that you've thought about it try not to obsess over all that. You can cross those bridges when you get there.

MamaCoffin · July 2016

mrstmoose said:

@Katieofcourse - I admire any woman who wants to give birth naturally! Fear is normal, it sounds like you have a great way of coping.

I, on the other hand, practically skipped out of an appointment with a client the other day after she told me that the hospital I plan on giving birth at gives the epidural in an IV instead of the shot now! Woohoo!

Either way, good luck on your journey!
:-j

Lurking....

I just feel it's important to state that an epidural has never been a "shot". They give you a shot to numb the area before inserting a needle and tube (similar to an iv) into the area between the spinal column. The epidural medication is then fed through this line.

An epidural can not be given through an iv in your arm.

ETA: they can administer pain relieving medication through and IV.... But this is not an epidural.

Ekzerr · July 2016

You're definitely not alone...we're trying for our second and I feel
more afraid of pregnancy and labor than I did the first time, even though I went through it no problem, and as cliche as it sounds, as soon as you meet your baby you forget everything you went through up to that moment.

clover28 · July 2016

MamaCoffin said:

mrstmoose said:

@Katieofcourse - I admire any woman who wants to give birth naturally! Fear is normal, it sounds like you have a great way of coping.

I, on the other hand, practically skipped out of an appointment with a client the other day after she told me that the hospital I plan on giving birth at gives the epidural in an IV instead of the shot now! Woohoo!

Either way, good luck on your journey!
:-j

Lurking....

I just feel it's important to state that an epidural has never been a "shot". They give you a shot to numb the area before inserting a needle and tube (similar to an iv) into the area between the spinal column. The epidural medication is then fed through this line.

An epidural can not be given through an iv in your arm.

I think what she meant is the hospital now does epidurals instead of spinal blocks. With a spinal block, a needle is inserted into the spinal canal, meds are administered, and it is taken out. When the meds wear off, you're either screwed if you're too far along to get another or you have to get another "shot". You already described what an epidural is so I won't.

mrsdaddario · July 2016

This is a zombie thread? OP posted in July 2015?

MamaCoffin · July 2016

mrsdaddario said:

This is a zombie thread? OP posted in July 2015?

Woah. Good catch. Wtf?

NamelessAria · July 2016

@mrsdaddario and @MamaCoffin I totally didn't even notice the zombie! Definitely a good catch there.

I'm wondering how this got resurrected.

mrsdaddario · July 2016

Someone's using the search bar!! Yay!! Lol

AliciaGoose · July 2016

MamaCoffin said:

mrsdaddario said:

This is a zombie thread? OP posted in July 2015?

Woah. Good catch. Wtf?

I didn't realize until the end! I think because the first two replies were from people I know. Then I was thinking as I kept scrolling "Who the hell are the rest of these people? " But then I had the same thought as @mrsdaddario, YAY SEARCH BAR! Even if it lead to a zombie thread revival.

stillclever17 · July 2016

That was my bad guys. I'm still getting used to the formatting and stuff on here and the mobile app and I misread it as July 2016.

mrsdaddario · July 2016

No worries! @soemthingclever

mrsdaddario · July 2016

No worries! @soemthingclever

MelissaM090 · July 2016

@soemthingclever Your pic made me laugh.

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