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April 2016 Moms
loveymay
member
Going Back to Work
loveymay
member
I have probably posted about this topic before, but I thought it would be good to have a thread for it where we can support each other. I know I am really struggling with the fact that my maternity leave is almost over and I have to go back to work.
I dont have anyone to talk to in real life who is also going through the same thing. I go back next Thursday. I am lucky enough to have been able to use FMLA and be off for 12 weeks, but I wish it was longer. When I think of other mamas in different countries who get a year (or more) off, I feel sick to my stomach. I wish more than anything that I could stay home with my LO for a year. My DH and I crunched numbers, and it would be possible for me to stay home, but it would be tight. Our income would be cut by more than half. I really like my job and it would be near impossible to find another job with the same pay/benefits. So I keep reminding myself that by working, my LO wont have any college tuition debt, and he will appreciate that more than if I stayed home when he was a baby. Also by working, we can afford to take international trips, but if I quit my job, going to the zoo would require serious budgeting and planning.
Even though I know working will be beneficial long term for our family, it doesnt make it any easier to actually be away from my sweet baby. I almost had a moment of panic yesterday when I realized that I will never have this much time with him ever again. The only time he will have me 24/7 is on weekends/holidays/vacation. I wish I had gone to school to be a teacher. My DH is a teacher and he gets so much time off! People tell me that it will get easier, that I will miss LO but we will get in a routine, etc.....but that doesnt make me feel better. What I want is to hear from other mamas in the same boat and give and offer support as we all go through this. I want to talk about our first day back and our 11th, 15th, 26th, etc day back. I want to bitch about how here in the US, the "greatest" country, mothers are forced to choose between their babies and their jobs. Lets share tips on how to make life a little easier when juggling family and work. What works, what doesnt work. I want us to virtually be able to cry on each other's shoulders. My DH listens when Im upset about it and comforts me, but i think only other mamas truly know what it feels like. After all, we are the ones who carried these sweet babies for 9 months!
I dont have anyone to talk to in real life who is also going through the same thing. I go back next Thursday. I am lucky enough to have been able to use FMLA and be off for 12 weeks, but I wish it was longer. When I think of other mamas in different countries who get a year (or more) off, I feel sick to my stomach. I wish more than anything that I could stay home with my LO for a year. My DH and I crunched numbers, and it would be possible for me to stay home, but it would be tight. Our income would be cut by more than half. I really like my job and it would be near impossible to find another job with the same pay/benefits. So I keep reminding myself that by working, my LO wont have any college tuition debt, and he will appreciate that more than if I stayed home when he was a baby. Also by working, we can afford to take international trips, but if I quit my job, going to the zoo would require serious budgeting and planning.
Even though I know working will be beneficial long term for our family, it doesnt make it any easier to actually be away from my sweet baby. I almost had a moment of panic yesterday when I realized that I will never have this much time with him ever again. The only time he will have me 24/7 is on weekends/holidays/vacation. I wish I had gone to school to be a teacher. My DH is a teacher and he gets so much time off! People tell me that it will get easier, that I will miss LO but we will get in a routine, etc.....but that doesnt make me feel better. What I want is to hear from other mamas in the same boat and give and offer support as we all go through this. I want to talk about our first day back and our 11th, 15th, 26th, etc day back. I want to bitch about how here in the US, the "greatest" country, mothers are forced to choose between their babies and their jobs. Lets share tips on how to make life a little easier when juggling family and work. What works, what doesnt work. I want us to virtually be able to cry on each other's shoulders. My DH listens when Im upset about it and comforts me, but i think only other mamas truly know what it feels like. After all, we are the ones who carried these sweet babies for 9 months!
Re: Going Back to Work
My work is stressful, demanding & requires a lot of hours. It has become much less so (in exception to the hrs) since having LO. Before I had a hard time letting it go & leaving things at work at the end of the day. Now that is no issue. When I walk out of here all I care about is getting home to my son. I think I enjoy my work more because of that. I feel like I have an actual mental break from it everyday & don't feel weighed down or burned out.
@WBORDERS I also like my job. It was hard to get hired on full time (I worked part time on the weekends for 2 years waiting for a full time spot to open, while also working a regular 40/week job). If I quit, those 2 years of hard work and sacrifice would be for nothing and I know I wouldnt find a job making the same money and awesome benefits if I quit and went back to work once LO starts school. I think about all the things my income can provide for him, like we are planning on building our dream house next year. But if I quit, then we would have to stay in our small house indefinitely. We probably couldnt afford to have a second child either. We wouldnt be able to travel anymore, and I cant wait to take LO on trips to see the world. And of course, I want to send him to college and be able to pay for it so he doesnt graduate with debt. When I think about these things, it makes me feel better about going back to work, even though I still wish I had more time with him!
I have days where I look forward to getting out of the house regularly and seeing my coworkers again. Then there are days where I fight back tears thinking of being away from my baby. It really helps being able to talk about it with others who are going through the same thing. Thanks!
Some days it's definitely hard to be away so much but I think it helped ward off PPD. And making money again is certainly awesome.
I know I am going to miss my LO, but like pps said we want to provide for the, and give them things that require me to go back to work. On the plus side we definitely met our deductible for the year so even leaving my company until the new year isn't a good idea. I need adult interaction and work is sounding really good right now.
And pumping at work is a pain...
I hope going back to work is going well for all you mamas!!
The first week was the hardest. The first day was easy, tbh. I was a little excited to be back at work but by day 2 the excitement was gone and I wanted my baby back. I remember crying when I picked her up that evening because I missed her so much. I got home and rocked her to sleep while I cried. SO asked why I was crying and, when I told him it was because I miss my baby, he didn't understand how I could be holding her and miss her at the same time.