About me:
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
Re: How is everyone? Check-in week of 6/27
I'm starting to research local OBs, but I don't know what kind of questions I should ask. I need someone comfortable with high-risk cases...Any good questions I should ask, or any traits you find helpful in your OB?
GTKY: What TV shows are you watching these days? Anything binge-worthy to recommend? I just recently discovered Gossip Girl!! I'm only on season 3, so I'm sure Serena, Blair and the rest of the gang will have surprises for me, but for now, "you know you love me, XOXO!"
BFP #1: 8/23/2015 M/C: 9/24/2015
BFP# 2: 4/15/2016 M/C: 5/13/2016 Cervical Ectopic Pregnancy
5/13/2016 Methotrexate Shot #1
5/15/2016 Methotrexate Shot #2
5/17/2016 Methotrexate Shot #3
GTKY: I am binge watch orange is the new black and I am watching ugly Betty again. I love that show.
I am currently freaking out about starting clomid since I will be traveling to the Caribbean July 31st-August 12th. Not sure if I should skip this month, when I went through so much to get to this point. I don't want to wait, but what if I catch it. My anxiety is making my physically ill. That being said I had a person badger me about being a mom yesterday and kept asking me if I was sure I didn't have any children. I almost lost it, but I was at work. I mean yes I am sure I have no children running around! I think I would notice having a baby. I wanted to be all, " yes I have children, they just aren't living!" I think that would have shut him up!
GTKY: I started watching the glades on Netflix and am pretty into it. I also have been enjoying The Mindy Project.
@Hopefulmommy1980 I love OITNB...finished the newest season over the weekend and enjoyed it. And hugs. Have you seen a therapist at all? I have found talking to someone to help a lot. When I had my recent CP I felt like I moved back into the very lonely and solitary place I was in for a long time after my first loss, where I don't want to talk on the phone, see people, etc.
@Cmckenzie I am sorry, that sounds really stressful. I hope your doctor has some guidance about your trip. And I cannot believe what that person said to you. I have been enjoying Mindy Project as well. I wasn't sure I'd like this season and was worried about how I would feel about certain plotlines (don't want to add spoilers), but I am doing ok with this season.
And I am doing ok. Have yet another cold. Not sure if it's stress or what. Need to fly to a family wedding this weekend, so trying to accelerate getting better.
GTYK: In addition to OITNB, Mindy Project...I'm also into Faking It and various cooking shows (I heard another season of Great British Baking Show is on Netflix, need to check that out).
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
Back here for the 3rd time; thats the charm isn't it? After 2 MC's, MD is deciding to try progesterone after we switched MD's. Anyways, to the discussion poset, today is my 1st due date...this week sucks. After my sister in law had her baby last week (she's younger than us by 3 years and we are only going to be 24 by september...) Her planned pregnancy that forced her man to have to marry her because of things she did on purpose - like BC removal. So many emotions, anger, then guilt, then just flat out heartbreak. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to see the little man, he's innocent in the situation, i just don't know if can handle it. Holding him when I'm supposed to have a miracle to call my own today... Does it get easier as you live on this whole new calendar nobody else can possibly understand unless they've experienced it?
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
@JrWenninger I'm sorry for your losses and for how difficult this week will be for you. For my 2nd pregnancy, a close friend of mine was due two weeks before me. I MC'd at 17w, and found her a little insensitive to it all (complaining about being sick and whatnot). That being said, she had a home birth, and I was the only non-family to be there later that day. It was unbelievably hard, and I totally broke down. But, being able to see and hold the baby actually was a bit of a healing process for me. You don't really ever get over the notes in the back of your head that your baby would be doing the same thing right now, but I would go to their house on my bad days just to hear her giggle and it helped. I don't know if you'll feel the same way, but give yourself time.
I'm doing better this week. Dr is referring me to an OB/GYN to get to the bottom of the recurrent MC thing. Which, I'm happy about; really hoping to get some answers.
GTKY - I'm going through "Alias" right now. But I love binging on "Greys Anatomy" on Netflix. I've watched through it three times in the past year and a bit.
GTKY: Not really into TV. I just watch some news programs and surf the internet (if people still surf)
TW: Loss
@mjolk hugs. Your d&c was less than a week ago, all your feelings sound totally normal and give yourself time to grieve for your loss. Even now, with my d&c almost 5 months ago, it feels kind of surreal that I was actually pregnant and then actually had the loss. And then other times I think about how pregnant I would have been at this point. It's a lot.
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
@mjolk You did have something, and it is absolutely and completely normal to mourn that loss (the loss of a pregnancy). There is no limit on the amount of time you are allowed to feel it. I'm almost 5 weeks out from my loss at this point and I still think about it everyday. It's become a part of who I am. But the good news is, it does get easier. I found that hard to believe at first. But it does. And faster than you might think it would. Hugs.
@newlymrsparaons I am glad you are feeling better! I hope you are able to get some helpful information from your new doctor and a plan to move forward with.
@JrWenninger2B So sorry for your losses. I understand the feeling about babies, especially when they're accidental. I deleted someone on Facebook yesterday for posting a bump picture (only 1 week ahead of where I should be) of her accidental baby and I got irrationally angry. Part of what is so hard about it is that so many people actually don't understand what it's like and can't really relate. And on the other hand, there are many who do but you might never know because it's not something that is commonly shared. Hugs to you.
@Hopefulmommy1980 Hugs to you. I know alone time can be bad for me as well. I tend to think more about what happened. And then even go as far as to look up sad quotes or look at the U/S. It does feel lonely. That's part of the reason I'm so thankful I have the bump. The only person in real life I know who openly talks to me about her m/c is my mom. Hugs to you. I hope you are able to find some happiness again.
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16
Emotionally I'm having a REALLY hard time. I can't stop replaying it all in my mind and my labor and delivery was pretty traumatic. I am trying to stay busy but I'm also supposed to be taking it easy since I went through L&D and also ended up having a D&C after for retained placenta....
GTKY: My husband and I have been watching OITNB lately. We also completed Bloodline just a few weeks ago.
Emily
__________________________________
As far as shows I am currently looking for something to start. I finished OITNB and since Game of Thrones is done for the season I'm at a loss!
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---
/loss mentioned/
TTC#1 July 2014
dx: MFI (morphology)
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w
d&c, followed by cytotec
TTCAL April 2016
IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
I'm doing well, I'm down 12 pounds and I already feel amazing, I still have around 25 more to drop to reach my goal weight. Emotionally I have my ups and down but lately I'm mostly well. Had a small break down last night when I was asked by a stranger if I had any children, but I cried it out and feel better today.
GTKY: I just binge watched OITNB last weekend and I will start to watch Breaking Bad, I only saw the first season.
@lyndam1
I don't have any good questions but just go with your gut feeling, aim for someone that sounds confident, I had 2 losses with my first Ob and from the very beginning she didn't feel right to me, I felt like she didn't know what she was doing, even though I loss another one with my new Ob, I feel a lot more comfortable and trust her and her choices more; on another note I loooooove Gossip Girl, I've seen the whole thing 3 times already! You are in for a ride.
@Hopefulmommy1980
I'm really sorry you're still feeling down, after my second loss I needed therapy to even function again. I can't say you will ever feel "normal" again, I think we have a new normal, you learn to live through the pain and it gets a lot easier. Hugs.
@Cmckenzie
That sounds awful, I'm so sorry you have to deal with stupid people, I sometimes wonder how I haven't punched anyone saying idiotic things to me; I had someone tell me right after my 3rd loss that I was lucky I didn't have any kids yet.
@BrightenMySky
Try onion, apple, cinnamon tea. It really helps fight the cold, sounds a little disgusting but you cant really taste the onion with apple cinnamon taste. You boil one onion cut in half, one green apple and two cinnamon sticks, sweeten with honey.
@JrWenninger2B
I'm so sorry you're back here. It does get easier but it takes an incredible amount of effort. I always say you become a new person after you experience a loss, there's a new normal and you'll never be the same again. Before I could feel bad for someone in a situation like ours but now I feel the pain, every time I see someone new here my heart hurts because I've been there and I know how devastating it is. Be kind and allow yourself to process everything one day at a time.
@newlymrsparaons
Really hope you can get some answers but keep in mind you may not, prepare yourself to maybe be told they couldn't find a reason. Hugs.
@mjolk
I'm so so sorry for your loss, I feel for you. Don't rush it, you'll eventually make peace with it but allow yourself time to grieve, it's a hard thing to go through, hugs.
@AliciaGoose
Glad you're doing better and just do whatever you need to do to keep feeling better, if it's focusing on conceiving then go for it. Good luck!
@EmilyP524
Like I told you on your thread, be kind to yourself and give yourself time, I know it's incredibly hard. Hugs again.
@mamma1614
Like I said before, people are stupid.
@moonlady
I'm very sorry for your loss. I keep my ultrasound pictures in a box in my closet, I just can't toss them, it's what I have left of my children. My first loss I didn't get to see anything before I miscarried but my last 2, I've seen them growing, their little hands and feet, my 2nd I even made it all the way to the anatomy scan and he was my perfect little boy, he was born with a full head of hair, my husbands hair. I don't look at them but I couldn't get rid of them.
Together since 2006
Married 01.17.15
Emily
__________________________________
Married: November 2015
TTC#1: January 2016
BFP: 5/02/16 - MC: 5/27/16