UO 6/23

sagoon · June 2016

It's Thursday! Let's hear those unpopular opinions!

sagoon · June 2016

Mine is truly unpopular: I can't stand the term 'squish' when referring to a newborn. I'm not sure why, it's just always grated on me.

karaelaine1991 · June 2016

I've got one that's pretty legitimately unpopular - I'm very skeptical of hormonal birth control for the purpose of preventing pregnancy, something I mentioned briefly last week. I'm not really morally opposed to it; I'm just very skeptical of the concept of taking a pill to adjust hormones with the intention of preventing something that functions properly from doing its job. There are other methods of birth control that are equally or close to equally effective when used properly, but less convenient and less expensive, so I feel like OBs' go to is hormonal BC... I wish they'd be more supportive of other options before this one, which can have pretty significant side effects.

Want to add that I fully understand that there are some cases where people NEED hormonal BC for health reasons. Also not side eyeing patients who use it solely to prevent pregnancy - more so doctors who push it on patients before trying other methods.

cjs260 · June 2016

*settle in while I climb up on my soapbox*

So this is less of an UO but more of an unpopular fact. Unless you have been diagnosed by a medical doctor and/or have been crippled by your obsessions or compulsions, you do not have OCD. Just like when you have a brain fart you don't claim to have Alzheimer's, like when you have a twitch you don't claim to have Tourette's, or like when you are annoyed by your tight fitting pants you don't claim to be Autistic. Let me tell you what OCD is not. It's not liking to keep your house tidy. It's not liking to keep your desk organized. It's not sorting your nerds by color. It's not keeping your pencils at one length. It's not about making a to-do list every day. That's called being a human being. We tend to like order and neatness. While many people with OCD may do or get comfort from those things, that's not what gets you a diagnosis of OCD. Now for what OCD is. OCD is not being able to get out of bed because it's not the 4th, 8th, 12th, 16th, 20th, 24th, 28th of the month. It's scrubbing your floor 'til your fingers bleed because you're scared of germs in your kitchen. It's getting up at 2 am to check one more time that you turned the knobs on the stove off. It's double, triple, quadruple checking your locks at night before you can go to sleep. It's taking your curling iron to work with you because you're so scared that you will leave it on and burn down your house, though you wore your hair straight today. It's getting and HIV test every 6 months though you've been in a monogamous relationship for years. It's having intrusive thoughts tell you that you might hurt someone on purpose, reminding you of every transgression that you've ever committed and binding you with unrecognizable guilt. It's having the same 5 words from a song stuck in your head on repeat, each repetition louder than the next. It's the "what ifs", the "if you don't do this someone you love will die", the thoughts of unbearable consequences for not fulfilling the compulsion that your brain is demanding. It's the depression, because your anxiety is so high constantly. It's the drowning of these thoughts with drugs and alcohol, only for them to be louder when you sober up. It's the contemplation of suicide, because it feels like it's the only way out.

OCD is a debilitating DISEASE that affects 2.3% of the population, including both adults and children. Don't claim to have OCD unless you really do.

ThePax89 · June 2016

@cjs260 let's apply this uo to bipolar and ADD. Oh and panic attacks.

cjs260 · June 2016

@Thepax89 Absolutely agree!

ashanne88 · June 2016

I wish I could like that x1000 @cjs260

susykat77 · June 2016

I can't stand how car seats are constantly used when not in the car. It is a CAR seat.

LCartee2016 · June 2016

@cjs260 yes yes yes and all the yesss!

Vivi20 · June 2016

@cjs260 I imagine it would be hurtful to hear people claim to have such a serious disease when they really do not. It's as if they are (unintentionally) downplaying the seriousness of it. That would be incredibly frustrating.

cjs260 · June 2016

@jlea05 It is for sure hurtful. I think the thing that drives me the craziest is when someone does is for attention. For instance, "I organized all my apps by color! I'm totes OCD lolz!" and then posts a screen shot. Ugh.

@susykat77 YES! I've read that's why so many babies are getting flat head syndrome. People are leaving them in their car seats for too long, causing positional plagiocephaly.

Vivi20 · June 2016

Here is my (probably very) UO.
I believe in traditional gender roles. I see nothing wrong with traditional gender stereotypes (example: prissy girls and macho men). It makes me incredibly angry that society says it's wrong to let little girls be princesses, but it celebrates letting little boys dress in princess costumes. No. Just, no. I believe in treating little girls like little girls, and boys like boys. For example, dressing them like the gender they are; teaching little boys to open doors for ladies. My husband opens every single door for us, carries everything, and protects us. He is strong, masculine, and treats myself and our daughter like queens. I cook, clean, and do most of the childcare. He fixes things, is a handyman, brings home the money, and keeps us safe.
I'll go run and hide now from the mud I'm sure is being slung at me hahahaha!

ashanne88 · June 2016

jlea05 said:

Here is my (probably very) UO.
I believe in traditional gender roles. I see nothing wrong with traditional gender stereotypes (example: prissy girls and macho men). It makes me incredibly angry that society says it's wrong to let little girls be princesses, but it celebrates letting little boys dress in princess costumes. No. Just, no. I believe in treating little girls like little girls, and boys like boys. For example, dressing them like the gender they are; teaching little boys to open doors for ladies. My husband opens every single door for us, carries everything, and protects us. He is strong, masculine, and treats myself and our daughter like queens. I cook, clean, and do most of the childcare. He fixes things, is a handyman, brings home the money, and keeps us safe.
I'll go run and hide now from the mud I'm sure is being slung at me hahahaha!

I don't think there is anything wrong with people falling into traditional gender roles, if that is what they both want and what works for their family. I think a lot of arguments against traditional gender roles is having girls and boys forced into them without the ability to choose if that is truly reflective of them. Or being told that not conforming is wrong. As for dressing, I think children choose their dress based on what they see and like and there is nothing wrong with that. My son likes to wear shirts with trucks while also begging to wear my, very feminine, scarves. He's not asking because he's trying to break through gender barriers, but simply because that's what I wear. He has no idea what gender even is.

As for opening doors, I disagree that a man should always open the door for a woman. I am more than capable of opening a door for myself. I'm also more than happy to open a door for someone else or have a door opened for me. I think this falls more into the realm of being polite and courteous. You better believe my children will be taught to open the door for anyone.

Vivi20 · June 2016

Maybe it depends what/who you grew up around. I was always taught and witnessed men being gentleman and opening doors for ladies. It's just what they do. Of course I'm capable of doing it myself, but it's just one of the many things my husband does to be a gentleman. He also rises from the table when I leave or come back, and kisses my hand. Old fashioned, I suppose, but it's lovely still. Unfortunately these days you see a lot less of that, so I appreciate that my husband does it for me and all other ladies. Obviously it's common courtesy to open the door for anyone if you're the first one there, or if someone needs assistance.

karaelaine1991 · June 2016

ashanne88 said:

jlea05 said:

Here is my (probably very) UO.
I believe in traditional gender roles. I see nothing wrong with traditional gender stereotypes (example: prissy girls and macho men). It makes me incredibly angry that society says it's wrong to let little girls be princesses, but it celebrates letting little boys dress in princess costumes. No. Just, no. I believe in treating little girls like little girls, and boys like boys. For example, dressing them like the gender they are; teaching little boys to open doors for ladies. My husband opens every single door for us, carries everything, and protects us. He is strong, masculine, and treats myself and our daughter like queens. I cook, clean, and do most of the childcare. He fixes things, is a handyman, brings home the money, and keeps us safe.
I'll go run and hide now from the mud I'm sure is being slung at me hahahaha!

I don't think there is anything wrong with people falling into traditional gender roles, if that is what they both want and what works for their family. I think a lot of arguments against traditional gender roles is having girls and boys forced into them without the ability to choose if that is truly reflective of them. Or being told that not conforming is wrong. As for dressing, I think children choose their dress based on what they see and like and there is nothing wrong with that. My son likes to wear shirts with trucks while also begging to wear my, very feminine, scarves. He's not asking because he's trying to break through gender barriers, but simply because that's what I wear. He has no idea what gender even is.

As for opening doors, I disagree that a man should always open the door for a woman. I am more than capable of opening a door for myself. I'm also more than happy to open a door for someone else or have a door opened for me. I think this falls more into the realm of being polite and courteous. You better believe my children will be taught to open the door for anyone.

On the gender role thing - I truly have no preference if my children gravitate toward one extreme or the other as they get older, but now, when DD is young enough that she really doesn't have an opinion, or at least can't express it if she does, I do tend to dress her in girly clothes. Gender neutral as a concept doesn't bother me, but what does really get under my skin is that I know I have people in my life who judge me for not sticking to strictly gender neutral stuff ( DH's cousin in particular). I feel like some people are so passionate about not judging people who don't conform to gender stereotypes that they judge those who do. And I think that judgement of either type is wrong. Just my two cents on that.

As for the door thing, I agree that it's just the polite thing to do for people, no matter who you are. That being said, DH is a very chivalrous guy and he likes to open my door, so he often does. I don't get offended when people don't open the door for me (usually, unless I'm visibly struggling to do so because DD and all of her crap I have to carry around and someone perfectly capable of helping me ignores me), but I get super annoyed if I go out of my way to hold the door open for someone else and they don't say thank you. Rude!

ashanne88 · June 2016

karaelaine1991 said:

ashanne88 said:

jlea05 said:

On the gender role thing - I truly have no preference if my children gravitate toward one extreme or the other as they get older, but now, when DD is young enough that she really doesn't have an opinion, or at least can't express it if she does, I do tend to dress her in girly clothes. Gender neutral as a concept doesn't bother me, but what does really get under my skin is that I know I have people in my life who judge me for not sticking to strictly gender neutral stuff ( DH's cousin in particular). I feel like some people are so passionate about not judging people who don't conform to gender stereotypes that they judge those who do. And I think that judgement of either type is wrong. Just my two cents on that.

As for the door thing, I agree that it's just the polite thing to do for people, no matter who you are. That being said, DH is a very chivalrous guy and he likes to open my door, so he often does. I don't get offended when people don't open the door for me (usually, unless I'm visibly struggling to do so because DD and all of her crap I have to carry around and someone perfectly capable of helping me ignores me), but I get super annoyed if I go out of my way to hold the door open for someone else and they don't say thank you. Rude!

People actually do this to you??!! That is terrible and hypocritical.

Emma61210 · June 2016

Here's my UO.... And I shall duck and run for cover after I post! It's kinda 2 parts...

I am so incredibly sick of this entitled society who think they can have an opinion and getting offended about everything!!! I am sick of trophies being given out to every just for participating and people feeling like they need to be handed something without hard work. (I'm not referring to people who actually legitimately need help).

And I'm so over parent shaming on social media (I.e. The most recent gorilla issue and gator issue at Disney). Can we stop parent shaming? And can we stop getting offended over EVERYTHING. It seems like last year and this year are "the years to be offended" it's one thing after another.

I could say so much more but I'll run for the hills now!

karaelaine1991 · June 2016

ashanne88 said:

karaelaine1991 said:

ashanne88 said:

jlea05 said:

On the gender role thing - I truly have no preference if my children gravitate toward one extreme or the other as they get older, but now, when DD is young enough that she really doesn't have an opinion, or at least can't express it if she does, I do tend to dress her in girly clothes. Gender neutral as a concept doesn't bother me, but what does really get under my skin is that I know I have people in my life who judge me for not sticking to strictly gender neutral stuff ( DH's cousin in particular). I feel like some people are so passionate about not judging people who don't conform to gender stereotypes that they judge those who do. And I think that judgement of either type is wrong. Just my two cents on that.

As for the door thing, I agree that it's just the polite thing to do for people, no matter who you are. That being said, DH is a very chivalrous guy and he likes to open my door, so he often does. I don't get offended when people don't open the door for me (usually, unless I'm visibly struggling to do so because DD and all of her crap I have to carry around and someone perfectly capable of helping me ignores me), but I get super annoyed if I go out of my way to hold the door open for someone else and they don't say thank you. Rude!

People actually do this to you??!! That is terrible and hypocritical.

I agree! And it's why the words "gender neutral" now make me roll my eyes. I'm a pretty girly person so I think certain people assumed I'd force that on DD. For example, this particular cousin-in-law got DD a blue wash cloth and octopus as a shower gift, which I was totally fine with because it's actually really cute... but then she actually told me that it was to "cancel out all the gross pink that poor child will be surrounded with." Like, seriously? I will say this particular cousin was only like 16 or so at the time but still, her mother was standing right there when she said this and said nothing. My in-laws can be a bit off sometimes.

sweetyjenj · June 2016

@cjs260 yes!!! Thank you! @ThePax89 yes, also!
I have legit ADHD, inattentive type, non-hyperactive. I was diagnosed as a child. It has been a struggle my whole life. I've completed my masters program and am quite successful in life, but it was never easy for me. I can't stand 2 things: 1. people who "think" they have ADD/ADHD because of they forgot their keys, or space out once in a while and say, "ugh sorry, ADD moment". What? 2. People who say ADD/ADHD is not a real disorder and is used as an excuse for being lazy or forgetful. What what? People don't know how frustrating it is that I often have to run back in the house 5 times before finally driving away because I forgot 5 things I needed to bring with me. Or how irritating it is to be listening to something I really want to listen to, like a lecture on a cool topic, but "come around" and realize I'd been daydreaming and missed the last 5 minutes. Or how about when someone says "ok, any questions?" and I'm like, "shit, can you repeat all of it?" Blah. It's real, and not to be used as an excuse, either.

sweetyjenj · June 2016

@cjs260 btw, in the new DSM-5 they now have OCPD, OC Personality Disorder. It's for those who do have very specific behaviors, like keeping things extremely neat and tidy or being very organized, but yet don't meet criteria for OCD. I just took the MFT national exam and had to reread the DSM to study. Its still a debilitating disorder and should not be used lightly, but hopefully it'll also decrease the over diagnosing of OCD when it shouldn't be given.

amaren-2 · June 2016

I hate Direct Sales. My whole facebook is filled with that crap. It probably has been within the last year that all of this stuff has creeped into my facebook, I just want to slap my friends and tell them to stop. No one wants to buy your exercise stuff, mascara, lipsticks, oils, or whatever it is your are selling. I really just want to unfriend you, but I can't because I care about you as a person...not your side business selling crap. The sales stuff doesn't bother me as much as the people trying to recruit. It is all really gullible people that believe they can make a ton of money off it, they post generic posts from the company about how much money they are making and infographs trying to get people to join. Oh honey, I've researched it. I know I won't make those big bucks unless I have several people under me who have several people under them. Heck, I don't even need to sell anything at that point, I can just bask in the glory of the Pyramid.

susykat77 · June 2016

I honestly don't care how you dress your child but at some point, if your child expresses an interest in wearing something other than what you buy them - whether it be less girly, more masculine, more girly or some combination of both - regardless of their SEX, I sure hope you let them.

Sex does NOT determine gender. There are a high number of transgendered teen suicides and attempts. Your child should be loved and supported no matter what gender they identify with.

ashanne88 · June 2016

karaelaine1991 said:

ashanne88 said:

karaelaine1991 said:

ashanne88 said:

jlea05 said:

On the gender role thing - I truly have no preference if my children gravitate toward one extreme or the other as they get older, but now, when DD is young enough that she really doesn't have an opinion, or at least can't express it if she does, I do tend to dress her in girly clothes. Gender neutral as a concept doesn't bother me, but what does really get under my skin is that I know I have people in my life who judge me for not sticking to strictly gender neutral stuff ( DH's cousin in particular). I feel like some people are so passionate about not judging people who don't conform to gender stereotypes that they judge those who do. And I think that judgement of either type is wrong. Just my two cents on that.

As for the door thing, I agree that it's just the polite thing to do for people, no matter who you are. That being said, DH is a very chivalrous guy and he likes to open my door, so he often does. I don't get offended when people don't open the door for me (usually, unless I'm visibly struggling to do so because DD and all of her crap I have to carry around and someone perfectly capable of helping me ignores me), but I get super annoyed if I go out of my way to hold the door open for someone else and they don't say thank you. Rude!

People actually do this to you??!! That is terrible and hypocritical.

I agree! And it's why the words "gender neutral" now make me roll my eyes. I'm a pretty girly person so I think certain people assumed I'd force that on DD. For example, this particular cousin-in-law got DD a blue wash cloth and octopus as a shower gift, which I was totally fine with because it's actually really cute... but then she actually told me that it was to "cancel out all the gross pink that poor child will be surrounded with." Like, seriously? I will say this particular cousin was only like 16 or so at the time but still, her mother was standing right there when she said this and said nothing. My in-laws can be a bit off sometimes.

Geez. That is ridiculous.

Vivi20 · June 2016

Here's another one.
Gluten free.
My UO is that if you don't have a legitimate, medical reason to go gluten free (crohn's disease), and you act like it is absolutely detrimental that your food be GF, I want to slap you.
It just grates my nerves for some reason. I know a woman like this. She insists everything must be gluten free (but interestingly cheats quite often). And I'm like, dude, really? I had a friend who will legit DIE from gluten, and almost did.

cjs260 · June 2016

jlea05 said:

Here's another one.
Gluten free.
My UO is that if you don't have a legitimate, medical reason to go gluten free (crohn's disease), and you act like it is absolutely detrimental that your food be GF, I want to slap you.
It just grates my nerves for some reason. I know a woman like this. She insists everything must be gluten free (but interestingly cheats quite often). And I'm like, dude, really? I had a friend who will legit DIE from gluten, and almost did.

H has a cousin whose wife swears she's allergic to gluten. Her reaction to it? It makes her sneeze. She has a mild learning disability but she is completely self sufficient and meaner than a snake. (That's a whole 'nother story.) But she will order whatever she likes at a restaurant, eat it all, and at the end start sneezing and demand that her meal will be free because they set off her gluten allergy.

ThePax89 · June 2016

Gender roles: I believe in kids embracing their biological roles, to some extent. Liking pink and wearing dresses is not biological. Biologically, my daughter is female, meaning she has female reproductive parts. She can (hopefully) carry a baby and nurse her child one day. Gender roles are social constructs. They are not constant universally whereas biology is.

katesmama0706 · June 2016

@sagoon ugh yes. My sister in law calls newborns squish all the time and even at a year old still calls her daughter "shorty squish" and I just cannot handle it. Ew. Just no.

karaelaine1991 · June 2016

ThePax89 said:

Gender roles: I believe in kids embracing their biological roles, to some extent. Liking pink and wearing dresses is not biological. Biologically, my daughter is female, meaning she has female reproductive parts. She can (hopefully) carry a baby and nurse her child one day. Gender roles are social constructs. They are not constant universally whereas biology is.

You have worded this so perfectly. All of this, yes.

litzi-2 · June 2016

@ThePax89 well said. i'm in the "whatever makes you happy" camp for gender roles. be respectful to everyone equally.
@sagoon i totally agree, i don't know why i dislike it so much! but i don't like most of those types of names. nugget makes me think of chicken nuggets each time i see it. weird craving.

The gluten thing is a bit odd. Not a lot of people actually have Celiac. I'm not sure how that caught on for the general public. But I get that when people feel off they try to make little adjustment in their lives (like diet). If they happen to feel better they associate it with that adjustment, right or wrong.

My UO. I'm not in any hurry to get married. I have never wanted a wedding. I will not be changing my name. It wont change my relationship with my SO. I will have to file taxes separately anyway to minimize tax burden. Even legal things like making decisions for each other can be set in an advanced directive. The only potential benefit is health insurance. Luckily nobody cares. Our friends and family are so supportive.

Vivi20 · June 2016

cjs260 said:

jlea05 said:

Here's another one.
Gluten free.
My UO is that if you don't have a legitimate, medical reason to go gluten free (crohn's disease), and you act like it is absolutely detrimental that your food be GF, I want to slap you.
It just grates my nerves for some reason. I know a woman like this. She insists everything must be gluten free (but interestingly cheats quite often). And I'm like, dude, really? I had a friend who will legit DIE from gluten, and almost did.

H has a cousin whose wife swears she's allergic to gluten. Her reaction to it? It makes her sneeze. She has a mild learning disability but she is completely self sufficient and meaner than a snake. (That's a whole 'nother story.) But she will order whatever she likes at a restaurant, eat it all, and at the end start sneezing and demand that her meal will be free because they set off her gluten allergy.

Oh my gosh, that is so asinine.

ElleMF728 · June 2016

UO: I hate when people tell new moms or moms of newborns to "cherish every moment" and "some day you will miss this". It's obnoxious and rude.

"No, stranger at Target, I will not cherish cleaning poop out of my baby's hair at 3 am after I've been up for 36 hours straight and I refuse to feel bad about it." Some days suck, it's okay that they suck and I'm allowed to say so without being made to feel ungrateful. We shouldn't make moms feel guilty for having actual human emotions like everyone else in the world.

I'm on board with hating all the parent shaming as well. More and more I'm learning to just double middle finger other people's opinions and do what works for us.

moonlady-2 · June 2016

Cow milk is gross and should be for baby cows.

cjs260 · June 2016

moonlady said:

Cow milk is gross and should be for baby cows.

ThePax89 · June 2016

Bahaha @moonlady. So super bizarre, I will not give my toddler cow's milk. It's insane because she does eat dairy products. After 20 months of nursing her, it seems offensive to give her the milk of another creature.

sweetyjenj · June 2016

@moonlady yes! People be like, "but calcium.." but they don't realize human bodies don't digest cow milk very well, and you can get your calcium from other, better, sources.

azwildcat62 · June 2016

Self-admittedly, I don't even have a legitimate reason for my UO...it's just something that has always irked me. I can't stand the terms "mommy" & "daddy". For some reason it just makes me think of spoiled brat children. Whhyyy??!? haha

moonlady-2 · June 2016

@ThePax89 Yeah I will def not be giving baby any cow milk. So weird to me (and unnecessary). I do eat most dairy products, but in my mind it's different than chugging a glass of it lol...

@sweetyjenj Exactly! I hate how it's basically forced upon kids in schools.

emilyn2012 · June 2016

So to the thing about gluten- even if you are choosing to omit it from your diet as best I understand if you've gone months without it and it's in your food at a restaurant it can make you sick bc your body isn't used to digesting it... I highly doubt it causes sneezes.

colleenkevin · June 2016

@moonlady YES
@ThePax89 I feel the same way!! My daughter has a cow's milk protein allergy and I'm secretly not at all upset that she can't have cow's milk. It was hard at first to remove dairy from my diet while she was nursing and it's sometimes a pain to make sure no one feeds her anything with butter/cheese/cow's milk yogurt, but I know my family would totally give me grief about not giving her cow's milk if I didn't have her allergy as an excuse.

karaelaine1991 · June 2016

I personally don't have a preference either way about labels or characters on my kids' clothes, but it seems like there are a good bit of you on here who prefer not to have them. Thought you might be interested in this (plus, who can resist a good deal?!):

https://www.scarymommy.com/primary-kids-clothes-simple/?u=FBQA5

I really hope that link works, the bump can be pretty glitchy.

MrsRahl · June 2016

@colleenkevin my daughter had a MPI and I freaking LOVE dairy. It was the craziest 5 months of my life until she outgrew it. But I feel ya with the the people wanting to feed it to her. I didn't realize how whey is in freaking everything. Like everything! The holidays were so rough with it.

Also I don't know who said it above now but I do feed my toddler cows milk and dairy now but I literally laughed out loud at the being repulsed after feeding them your milk for so long because I am still nursing and totally went through that for a while. It's so true! 24 months now, but my hoping she wears soon. I'd like a little break before starting for baby #2. It everyone calls me the milk truck so that's all I am to my kids now I guess lol!

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