UO Thursday 6/23

Steelerfan78 · June 2016

Ok, let's hear 'em!

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/F3G8ymQkOkbII/200.gif

varimama · June 2016

I can't stand Adele, Taylor Swift, or Meghan Trainor but clearly by the rate they are played on the radio it is a UO.

Xstatic3333 · June 2016

marriedhamstermom said:

I can't stand Adele, Taylor Swift, or Meghan Trainor but clearly by the rate they are played on the radio it is a UO.

I'm with you on Adele. I respect her talent and she seems like a good person but I don't enjoy her music. Meghan Trainor comes off whiny and annoying and the one song of hers I'm familiar with has some serious reverse-body shaming going on. T. Swift, however, is a bit of a guilty pleasure.

emilypanthel · June 2016

marriedhamstermom said:

I can't stand Adele, Taylor Swift, or Meghan Trainor but clearly by the rate they are played on the radio it is a UO.

I agree. I also think Beyoncé is overrated and is worshiped too much but I know that's an UO

varimama · June 2016

emilypanthel said:

marriedhamstermom said:

I can't stand Adele, Taylor Swift, or Meghan Trainor but clearly by the rate they are played on the radio it is a UO.

I agree. I also think Beyoncé is overrated and is worshiped too much but I know that's an UO

I also can't stand Beyoncé. I don't know how I forgot that one. Just the other day I was complaining to DH that she ruined the Coldplay song Hymn for the Weekend. I just don't think she's that talented and am not really sure why she's so worshiped.

Tennis11785 · June 2016

@marriedhamstermom and @emilypanthel - I'm with you guys on Beyonce. I think some of her songs are good, but the worshiping of her, I just don't understand. I do love me to TSwift though...

MrsDramaK · June 2016

Agreed on the hating of Beyonce, also Adele can be really whiny and depressing, but I do like some of her stuff.

TSwift's my girl though and I love me some Meghan Trainor

L Jane · June 2016

I can't stand Chrissy Teigen. She seems to be everywhere and gets a ton of press. She just irritates me to no end. I don't even know why.

Oh and I agree on the Beyoncé front. I do, however, love Taylor Swifts music.

Munchie2.0 · June 2016

I hate when people assume you mean something in a text and get all crazy- instead of asking exactly what you meant.

SPurp13 · June 2016

I don't give a fuck about GOT, WD or any of those other shows.

I similarly don't give a fuck about Harry Potter.

Gingersnap · June 2016

I don't mind people saying "preggo, preggers" at all. You say "prego" though, well then I just want pasta.

yogadevil · June 2016

I hate that insurance won't pay more for infertility help. Someone's body not working the way it's supposed to isn't a choice, even if having a kid is.

Another UO- I think grandparents are way too involved in their grandchildrens lives, it's like they're another set of parents nowadays. Where they get as many rights/privileges as the actual parents. Growing up I saw my grandparents maybe once a month and for major holidays and I absolutely adored them. Now it's considered selfish to not let them be a major part of kids' lives at the expense of having a more solid traditional nuclear family

MonaLisaRalphio · June 2016

yogadevil said:

I hate that insurance won't pay more for infertility help. Someone's body not working the way it's supposed to isn't a choice, even if having a kid is.

Another UO- I think grandparents are way too involved in their grandchildrens lives, it's like they're another set of parents nowadays. Where they get as many rights/privileges as the actual parents. Growing up I saw my grandparents maybe once a month and for major holidays and I absolutely adored them. Now it's considered selfish to not let them be a major part of kids' lives at the expense of having a more solid traditional nuclear family

I mean, you do you, but in a LOT of cultures, and throughout history, the "nuclear family" has been anything but traditional. Studies show that kids who have strong connections with their extended family are healthier, more emotionally aware, more socially-adjusted, do better in school, and even show stronger intellect and cognition.

Xstatic3333 · June 2016

yogadevil said:

I hate that insurance won't pay more for infertility help. Someone's body not working the way it's supposed to isn't a choice, even if having a kid

Yes.

To piggyback with another insurance opinion, I wish we had a national single-payer healthcare system. Yes, I know there are cons. Read 'em all. It's still my opinion that a national system would be preferable to what we have now.

Disclaimer: this opinion is highly related to the annoying situation I've found myself in where my maternity costs will be multiplied about 3x since I live in a different state from where H works.

caribbeanmama-2 · June 2016

I think being nice just to come across as being nice is overrated and annoying. Just be yourself and don't be mean.

Gingersnap · June 2016

Another UO- I think grandparents are way too involved in their grandchildrens lives, it's like they're another set of parents nowadays. Where they get as many rights/privileges as the actual parents. Growing up I saw my grandparents maybe once a month and for major holidays and I absolutely adored them. Now it's considered selfish to not let them be a major part of kids' lives at the expense of having a more solid traditional nuclear family

My inlaws are really involved in my daughters life. I mean, not decision making, they understand that's our deal. She sees them at least every few days and usually spends Friday nights when they aren't living their fabulous retired traveling the world lives.
She is so close to them and I wouldn't want it any other way.
I guess it's all personal preference. I love that I can ditch her on them any time ;-)

fourPsinapod · June 2016

@yogadevil I agree about the grandparents thing RE: being a second set of parents. There are so many people I know who allow the grandparents disciplining rights and child rearing and it makes me frustrated. I sometimes catch other people doing it to DD and I have to remind them that I am her parent and I am right here and I GOT IT. I do not understand how people allow their parents (or even other family members) the same rights as parents as them - I've seen kids respect their grandparents more than their parents. Maybe it's just personal experiences but it drives me nuts.

Tennis11785 · June 2016

Re: grandparents - Growing up my grandparents were very involved, mostly because my one grandmother lived with us and my other set of grandparents lived next door. Growing up, I probably saw them every day, every other day at most. Plus, since my parents both worked, my grandparents drove me a lot of places and were my babysitters. As a child, I loved it. I thought it was really special to have them so involved.

However, as an adult, I give my parents a lot of credit. More adults = more opinions, more coordination. It's a really delicate balance to create a relationship that is special for the child while not allowing the grandparents to overstep parental boundaries.

Gingersnap · June 2016

My problem with discipline and the Grandparents is that she gets NONE. But, she understands that what is allowed at Grandmas isn't going to fly with Mommy.
I think I would be irritated if they acted like it was their "right" to see her, but they view it's as a privilege.

yogadevil · June 2016

MonaLisaRalphio said:

yogadevil said:

I hate that insurance won't pay more for infertility help. Someone's body not working the way it's supposed to isn't a choice, even if having a kid is.

Another UO- I think grandparents are way too involved in their grandchildrens lives, it's like they're another set of parents nowadays. Where they get as many rights/privileges as the actual parents. Growing up I saw my grandparents maybe once a month and for major holidays and I absolutely adored them. Now it's considered selfish to not let them be a major part of kids' lives at the expense of having a more solid traditional nuclear family

I mean, you do you, but in a LOT of cultures, and throughout history, the "nuclear family" has been anything but traditional. Studies show that kids who have strong connections with their extended family are healthier, more emotionally aware, more socially-adjusted, do better in school, and even show stronger intellect and cognition.

Which is why it's my UO in some circles.

Read what @fourPsinapod said, she explained it better than I did. I also had strong connections with my grandparents but they were never "parents" to me. We got to enjoy them as they were and love them dearly without lines being crossed. Theres a huge difference between having sincere connections with extended family and a child only respecting their grandparents for things like discipline. That's all I was trying to convey.

I will happily do me, without outside entitlements pressuring me to parent a certain way, or give up my own rights to appease someone else And on the other side of it, there's no pressure on my parents or in laws to proverbially pick up the slack, they get to enjoy being grandparents and being involved in my kids' lives. Every family is different, and if something different works better for yours, great! But for crying out loud don't assume that my kids will unhealthy, socially inept, poor students or intellectually inferior because my child's grandparents aren't another set of parents. These things aren't mutually exclusive.

I fully agree with @Tennis11785 when she said "It's a really delicate balance to create a relationship that is special for the child while not allowing the grandparents to overstep parental boundaries."

PerraSucia · June 2016

It can't be an UO that insurance should cover infertility. If one of you has that opinion (that it should not) right now I will punch you in the GD face.

SPurp13 · June 2016

Xstatic3333 said:

yogadevil said:

I hate that insurance won't pay more for infertility help. Someone's body not working the way it's supposed to isn't a choice, even if having a kid

Yes.

To piggyback with another insurance opinion, I wish we had a national single-payer healthcare system. Yes, I know there are cons. Read 'em all. It's still my opinion that a national system would be preferable to what we have now.

Disclaimer: this opinion is highly related to the annoying situation I've found myself in where my maternity costs will be multiplied about 3x since I live in a different state from where H works.

And to piggyback onto that, I think it's bullshit that I'm going to pay 2x as much for this baby than the last, just because my entire pregnancy and delivery spanned one calendar year last time, but this time, I'll deliver in January/February. Pregnancy is one event that has a clear END point. It's not cancer, a disorder, etc., that would need long treatment. You shouldn't have to pay your OOP Max twice.

Oh well. Hospital gets $5 a month until we die, because I'm a bitch.

PerraSucia · June 2016

Oh man I didn't even think about how much early year babies screw deductibles. Are you going to do flex spending? At least we have a whole new week of sick time to use for our first week of std

yogadevil · June 2016

Gingersnap said:

My problem with discipline and the Grandparents is that she gets NONE. But, she understands that what is allowed at Grandmas isn't going to fly with Mommy.
I think I would be irritated if they acted like it was their "right" to see her, but they view it's as a privilege.

I agree it is a privilege instead of a right. And when the discipline pendulum swings the other way like you described, that's stressful too

Xstatic3333 · June 2016

SPurp13 said:

Xstatic3333 said:

yogadevil said:

I hate that insurance won't pay more for infertility help. Someone's body not working the way it's supposed to isn't a choice, even if having a kid

Yes.

To piggyback with another insurance opinion, I wish we had a national single-payer healthcare system. Yes, I know there are cons. Read 'em all. It's still my opinion that a national system would be preferable to what we have now.

Disclaimer: this opinion is highly related to the annoying situation I've found myself in where my maternity costs will be multiplied about 3x since I live in a different state from where H works.

And to piggyback onto that, I think it's bullshit that I'm going to pay 2x as much for this baby than the last, just because my entire pregnancy and delivery spanned one calendar year last time, but this time, I'll deliver in January/February. Pregnancy is one event that has a clear END point. It's not cancer, a disorder, etc., that would need long treatment. You shouldn't have to pay your OOP Max twice.

Oh well. Hospital gets $5 a month until we die, because I'm a bitch.

Something to ask about-I've heard that many practices are now billing it as one event. Some are saying the ACA requires this, though I'm definitely no ACA expert. I know many plans find ways around the ACA, and my weird cross-state situation removes me from many of its protections unless I want to deliver at a hospital 45 minutes from home in the middle of a New England winter so I'm definitely on the hook for two deductibles myself, but it might be worth inquiring about if you don't have a weird situation like I do.

varimama · June 2016

Xstatic3333 said:

SPurp13 said:

Xstatic3333 said:

yogadevil said:

I hate that insurance won't pay more for infertility help. Someone's body not working the way it's supposed to isn't a choice, even if having a kid

Yes.

To piggyback with another insurance opinion, I wish we had a national single-payer healthcare system. Yes, I know there are cons. Read 'em all. It's still my opinion that a national system would be preferable to what we have now.

Disclaimer: this opinion is highly related to the annoying situation I've found myself in where my maternity costs will be multiplied about 3x since I live in a different state from where H works.

And to piggyback onto that, I think it's bullshit that I'm going to pay 2x as much for this baby than the last, just because my entire pregnancy and delivery spanned one calendar year last time, but this time, I'll deliver in January/February. Pregnancy is one event that has a clear END point. It's not cancer, a disorder, etc., that would need long treatment. You shouldn't have to pay your OOP Max twice.

Oh well. Hospital gets $5 a month until we die, because I'm a bitch.

Something to ask about-I've heard that many practices are now billing it as one event. Some are saying the ACA requires this, though I'm definitely no ACA expert. I know many plans find ways around the ACA, and my weird cross-state situation removes me from many of its protections unless I want to deliver at a hospital 45 minutes from home in the middle of a New England winter so I'm definitely on the hook for two deductibles myself, but it might be worth inquiring about if you don't have a weird situation like I do.

I talked to an insurance agent for my insurance (obv this may vary by insurance) but she told me that the initial visit and standard visits (ie. 1/mo first tri, every other week after a certain point, then every week towards the end) would be part of the initial billing. She said that covered some labs but not many so most labs will be a separate charge and then ultrasounds are separate. Then any delivery, hospital, post visits would be separate bills. If anyone is curious on how their insurance works you can always call the number on the back of your card and at least the woman I spoke to was really helpful in explaining how each of the charges would be handled.

SPurp13 · June 2016

If it's the way it was last time, I'll be billed for every test and ultrasound as I go, but then obviously the delivery/doctor's fees come last. So, I'll hit my OOP max just in ultrasounds/tests. Then I'll hit it again with the delivery. I mean, each ultrasound was roughly $400, and one vile of blood that I had drawn the other day was $600. It's easy to see how I'll hit that max.

fourPsinapod · June 2016

I think our insurance rolls over in September if I recall correctly.. Now I better call just to make sure..

MonaLisaRalphio · June 2016

yogadevil said:

*snip*

I will happily do me, without outside entitlements pressuring me to parent a certain way, or give up my own rights to appease someone else And on the other side of it, there's no pressure on my parents or in laws to proverbially pick up the slack, they get to enjoy being grandparents and being involved in my kids' lives. Every family is different, and if something different works better for yours, great! But for crying out loud don't assume that my kids will unhealthy, socially inept, poor students or intellectually inferior because my child's grandparents aren't another set of parents. These things aren't mutually exclusive.

Uh, that's a bit of an overreaction. At no point did I suggest that your children would be in any way lacking. I simply pointed out the positive aspects of having strong relationships with extended family members. That was not a value judgment on you, your parenting choices, or your kids' futures.

Xstatic3333 · June 2016

SPurp13 said:

If it's the way it was last time, I'll be billed for every test and ultrasound as I go, but then obviously the delivery/doctor's fees come last. So, I'll hit my OOP max just in ultrasounds/tests. Then I'll hit it again with the delivery. I mean, each ultrasound was roughly $400, and one vile of blood that I had drawn the other day was $600. It's easy to see how I'll hit that max.

That makes sense. I think I'll be in the same boat, especially with all the non-routine appointments I've had early on.

yogadevil · June 2016

MonaLisaRalphio said:

yogadevil said:

*snip*

I will happily do me, without outside entitlements pressuring me to parent a certain way, or give up my own rights to appease someone else And on the other side of it, there's no pressure on my parents or in laws to proverbially pick up the slack, they get to enjoy being grandparents and being involved in my kids' lives. Every family is different, and if something different works better for yours, great! But for crying out loud don't assume that my kids will unhealthy, socially inept, poor students or intellectually inferior because my child's grandparents aren't another set of parents. These things aren't mutually exclusive.

Uh, that's a bit of an overreaction. At no point did I suggest that your children would be in any way lacking. I simply pointed out the positive aspects of having strong relationships with extended family members. That was not a value judgment on you, your parenting choices, or your kids' futures.

I jumped the gun then, I thought you were implying it was an either/or scenario

SenoraKahlo · June 2016

I love Adele. She and Florence Welch are my favorite powerhouse singers.

bdesterhouse · June 2016

My uo is it takes a village to raise a child. Both sets of our parents can correct our son if he's in the wrong, heck I let my best friend do it if he's out of line. I believe by doing this he has already shown teachers and other adults the respect they deserve from him. My son goes to my in laws three days a week and daycare two days a week. I'd rather they instill our values and him make memories with them than a daycare person. I feel blessed that we can give him this, as I wish I had more time at his age with my grandparents. I'd probably be closer to them if I had spent more time with them. I get why some parents can't do this at the same time though.

BumpasaurusRex · June 2016

UO: It irrationally bugs me when users have the generic photo as their avatar and their username is knottie6549842154 (this is not aimed at anyone in particular). It takes 2 minutes to personalize it. Gah!!

PerraSucia · June 2016

BumpasaurusRex said:

UO: It irrationally bugs me when users have the generic photo as their avatar and their username is knottie6549842154 (this is not aimed at anyone one in particular). It takes 2 minutes to personalize it. Gah!!

I just changed my avatar like 90 minutes ago because we must be on the level today.

CallMeLauraJane · June 2016

SPurp13 said:

I don't give a fuck about GOT, WD or any of those other shows.

I similarly don't give a fuck about Harry Potter.

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/1iUZa41YxKQtaJq0/giphy.gif

MalyJ · June 2016

I spoke with my OB office with DS2 who was born in April and asked if I could delay payments until January so that all payments went towards my deductible one time. They had no problems with it and just doubled (roughly) my payments since I'd be doing it in a shorter amount of time.

Maybe its at least worth asking?

SPurp13 · June 2016

MalyJ said:

I spoke with my OB office with DS2 who was born in April and asked if I could delay payments until January so that all payments went towards my deductible one time. They had no problems with it and just doubled (roughly) my payments since I'd be doing it in a shorter amount of time.

Maybe its at least worth asking?

My OB doesn't collect until the delivery. It's the ultrasounds and blood tests that start coming in at the beginning.

MonaLisaRalphio · June 2016

SPurp13 said:

MalyJ said:

I spoke with my OB office with DS2 who was born in April and asked if I could delay payments until January so that all payments went towards my deductible one time. They had no problems with it and just doubled (roughly) my payments since I'd be doing it in a shorter amount of time.

Maybe its at least worth asking?

My OB doesn't collect until the delivery. It's the ultrasounds and blood tests that start coming in at the beginning.

I spoke with the nicest customer service human in the world at my insurance company the other day, and she told me that my insurance company considers my entire pregnancy to fall under one "global" bill no matter when actually services are rendered or billed, so my deductible will only count once. I do have kind of magical insurance (one of the few benefits of working for a city school system...), but it's worth checking with your insurance company to find out how their policies will apply.

WinchesterGirl · June 2016

I dislike the term resting B***** face. Men don't get called a name for having a certain facial expression, and maybe I'm being sensitive but I feel like it plays into the cultural expectation that I have to be happy and charming all the time because I'm female.

angeltennis3 · June 2016

I hate Twitter, Instagram, and snap chat. Give me Facebook and I am in my social media happy place.

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