All Free & Clear for all of our laundry. Dreft smells nasty, in my opinion.
Also, @sbrown721 please come PT my stubborn child. All those stories about how no child goes to kindergarten in diapers...my kid will gladly prove that wrong.
@noelani42@PSUBecky23 Haha! It's all about timing and bribery! The child should be trying to go potty every 15-20 minutes at first then work your way up from there (22 minutes, 25, 30). I think Amazon has a "cool" watch for the child to wear that alerts them that it's time to go potty, but I've just relied on the clock and told the child when it's time to try. A LOT of: "We will play play-doh once you try to go potty." "We will leave for the park once you try to go potty." It's crucial to try to have them go before leaving the house as well...some kids I've worked with are really into trying to go potty and like to sit there for half an hour, so plan accordingly because you don't want to be yelling at them to get off the potty because you're going to be late - that can be a confusing message for the child. As far as bribery, find something your child is DYING to have (a new stuffed animal for example - perhaps buy it ahead of time without your child knowing) and start up a sticker chart. Once the sticker chart is complete your child will get the new toy. Do NOT peel stickers off the chart for poor behavior! If a child has earned a sticker then it is there to stay! @PSUBecky23 some children are even enticed by an m&m or jelly bean each time they go potty, but this doesn't seem like it'll work for you!
As with all rewarding, make it realistic. Place the chart right by the potty and place the stickers in the bathroom out of reach of your child. This way you won't forget to fill it. Also, don't promise them something like an outing to get ice cream each time they fill the chart because there may be some times where you just can't get to the ice cream store that night...this is very confusing for a child.
Start with small goals and work your way up! Your first chart might just be that your child sits on the potty for 10 minutes at a time (the child wouldn't get nearly as big a reward for completing this chart as he would for pooping on the potty 3 days in a row).
Sit in the bathroom with them especially at first! Entertain them, read books, even limit ipad use to ONLY when your child is sitting on the toilet.
@Sbrown721- YES! I love the image of my son sitting and surfing in the future.
When my nephew was potty training, one of his bigger rewards was a toy Dora flip phone (they grabbed a handful of toys from the dollar store and had a treasure box for the twins to choose from for poops). One time he was sitting on the toilet and pushing the button on the phone which made the sound effect of taking a picture. When I asked what he was doing he said "Sending Dora my picture!!!" I nearly died in laughter that day. The idea of a 2+ year old sending dick pics to Dora (unknowingly, obviously not his intention) just struck me as hilarious, especially after a 2-day potty training crash course I had helped with.
Thanks ladies! I may be able to borrow a swing from my cousin or at least bring him there and see how he likes it before we buy one. I talked DH out of registering for one because we really have limited space and I've heard not all babies love the swing. He thought I was nuts, but I won out in the end. I have people asking if we got one yet too- my grandmother wants to buy us one. I put a note on our registry that if items aren't on there it's because we already have them- just in case. I'll definitely have to find a way to test it out before we get one. Thanks again so so much!!!
Another question about car seats because I am clueless. I am looking into which convertible seat to get after he outgrows the infant seat. I had registered for Graco Contender 65 but recently saw commercials for the Graco Extend2fit which provides extra leg room for extended rear facing up to 50 pounds (the other is only up to 40). My question is, is something like the extend2fit only necessary if you have a small car or is it useful in any car? We have a Ford Escape and an F150 with extended cab, both have reasonably large backseats.
@thscary I don't really understand the purpose of extra leg room. First, children are flexible and find ways to fit. Google it and you will find tons of tall children crossing their legs and throwing them over the side with no problems. Second, car seats are generally outgrown rearfacing by height before weight so I'm not sure the ten extra pounds are worth it. We have two Graco Mysize/Size4Me that have been great.
Do any BTDT moms have suggestions for nursing pads? I'm not leaking yet but I'd like to buy something to have incase it starts. If it doesn't, I'm sure I'll use them once the little one arrives.
Me: 30 | DH: 32 Together since 2008 | Married 2012 TTC #1 October 2014 BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014 BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014 BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015 BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
@ducks6 I might be a rare case, but I hardly needed / used nursing pads at all. I just wasn't leaky -- and bf exclusively for well over a year. I probably could have been ok with the dozen or so samples I got, rather than the box of 100 that I ended up giving away on a mommy listserv. Just a consideration!
Do any BTDT moms have suggestions for nursing pads? I'm not leaking yet but I'd like to buy something to have incase it starts. If it doesn't, I'm sure I'll use them once the little one arrives.
I hated the Medela pads, they wouldn't stay in place but we're super sticky and would end up stuck to my nipple. I liked Lansinoh, but haaaated their BM bags. They always busted!
@abberson, @PSUBecky23 and @MrsVoorhees thank you for your answers. I didn't know samples were an option. Does anyone know where to get them? I'd rather have a few on hand, just in case and then get more if needed. Also, it would help me see what I like as there seems to be a variety of opinions.
Me: 30 | DH: 32 Together since 2008 | Married 2012 TTC #1 October 2014 BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014 BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014 BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015 BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
@ducks6 The Target brand (Up&Up) were my favorite. I only used them overnight. I'm thinking about getting some reusable ones this time because I got a yeast-like rash on my breasts last time (one breast got it twice). I can't be sure it was from the pads, but I wonder if they played a role in it.
@MrsVoorhees The Lansinoh bags were my favorite! I didn't have many bust, but they would rip easily if they got caught on the shelving in the freezwr.
@camichael84 I don't know what the deal was but in one day I lost 20oz of milk just from defrosting because the seam of the bag was split. I bawled. I emailed customer service and she was so nice and was supposed fo mail me a new box but never did, so I refused to use them again. I had plenty more after that that were split. I wanted to love them because I know their plastic is very safe, but I wasn't losing any more milk!
@ducks6 A lot of places give you a gift of samples for registering there -- I ended up with a few from Amazon, BRU, the hospital, and random samples in the mail. Even my insurance sent me some this time for filling out a survey. @MrsVoorhees 20 oz!? What a gut punch! Agree with @PSUBecky23 on defrosting in a bowl. I cried over any spillage, that much would have been heartbreaking.
@PSUBecky23@abberson I usually would but that day I was needing a bottle right then so I put the bag in warm water to defrost faster and lost 2 bags that way, then they called me from daycare and said all the bags I had brought from the day before had split too. They now use a Tupperware haha. I'm sure the combo of me crying and them having to clean a fridge of someone else's breast milk made them decide quickly.
If you want med free I would definitely recommend getting a doula. Depending on where you are, their costs can vary. If money is tight, try looking for someone who is still in the process of certification. My first doula was free because of this. They have a website called doula match, I think. You put in your city and due date and it will come up with a list of doulas in your area.
This time I have a new doula bc my first moved. I'm paying $800, but she is also a certified lactation consultant, so she is including those services as part of her postpartum visits.
I truly enjoyed my medfree birth. I felt completely on control the entire time. Birth is as much a mental exercise as a physical one and my doula helped me to stay out of my head and just focus on one contraction/ push at a time.
NBR - when did you start potty training? DS has been taking off his diapers any time he gets a chance and this morning he snapped it off, got out of bed and ran to pee in the shower (he can't reach the toilet on his own). While the behavior sounds like he should be ready, he is just turning 2 next month and doesn't speak in sentences at all yet. I am not sure how we'd even go about potty training or having him tell us he needs to go... it seems like it's too early but maybe that's just me being a FTM?
I started training my now all 3yr old just before he turned 2. He would tug at his diaper any time he was dirty. I would recommend giving it a shot. Buy a baby potty and take him whenever yout change his diaper and see how it goes. My son has been mostly trained since February- he still needs to be reminded to go, but is wearing underwear with the exception of nighttime..
@thscary I don't really understand the purpose of extra leg room. First, children are flexible and find ways to fit. Google it and you will find tons of tall children crossing their legs and throwing them over the side with no problems. Second, car seats are generally outgrown rearfacing by height before weight so I'm not sure the ten extra pounds are worth it. We have two Graco Mysize/Size4Me that have been great.
We have the Graco4ever and love it. My husband and I both drive sedans and it fits perfectly behind either seat. I'm 5ft and he's 6ft. Since my son is 3, he's now forward facing, but when he was rear facing, my passengers still had enough leg room.
@guitarra1614, no problem. All of the women in my family tried to talk me out of it. My mom has 5 sisters, one of whom used to be a l and d nurae, and each of them tried to tell me I couldn't do it. They were all impressed when I proved them wrong. When I got pregnant this time, no one batted an eye when I said I was going med free again. Now, since I've told them I wanted to try a water birth, they've become a little suspicious about that one. I should also mention that I'm at an amazing hospital with an amazing OB who is willing to let me try just about anything as long as baby is safe. In her words, this is my birth and she's just here to make sure the end result is a positive one.
@MrsVoorhees I would have given up on them if I'd lost that much milk, too. Any milk loss is cry worthy. I once accidentally knocked my freshly pumped milk into the sink while I was transfering to a bag. This was me...
@camichael84 I knocked over the bottle while I was opening the bag at work one time and shamelessly yelled "F*CK!! F*CK, F*CK, F*CK!!" I didn't care jf anyone heard, if hurt my soul.
Okay BTDT moms, I have a question. Have any of you "room shared" with your babies for an extended period of time? I'm talking a year to 18 months possibly. We never did this with my daughter, but we are in a two bedroom home for the near future so baby boy will be with us. I'm afraid that no one will be able to sleep, if I roll over or cough that baby will wake up. If anyone has to get up during the night to go to the bathroom that it will wake baby. Is this really how it is? I hope I'm wrong!
Okay BTDT moms, I have a question. Have any of you "room shared" with your babies for an extended period of time? I'm talking a year to 18 months possibly. We never did this with my daughter, but we are in a two bedroom home for the near future so baby boy will be with us. I'm afraid that no one will be able to sleep, if I roll over or cough that baby will wake up. If anyone has to get up during the night to go to the bathroom that it will wake baby. Is this really how it is? I hope I'm wrong!
Our 2 year old still sleeps in our room (despite our best effort to get him to his own) and I'm happy to say that has not been my experience. Babies will sleep through the craziest things (cell phones ringing, alarms going off, toilets flushing). He'll be used to it from the start and so probably won't notice much. Of course you can't turn on the light, watch TV in bed etc. Honestly the biggest issue is it's hard to be intimate because you either have to move the kid for a period of time to another room or go to another room yourself. TMI I'm sure but that's my biggest struggle with it.
@beachmama14 same as @Shiva14 our 21 month old is still in our room and it hasn't been a problem. We are getting ready to move her to her own room next month, but mama wants a security alarm first. I don't want her sleeping in our room when the baby gets here because I think that would wake her, or just make her not have restful sleep.
Thank you @MrsVoorhees and @Shiva14 ! I'm glad you both have had a good experience with it. I've never been one that wanted to room share so I am somewhat apprehensive about it. Hopefully in time we will all just adjust
@MrsVoorhees how are you planning the transition? We are getting a toddler bed (Thomas the Tank Engine which he loves) and are going to try to make bed time really fun and exciting. Lots of books about going to bed by yourself etc. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly terrified of this, but I also think he just wouldn't sleep well once baby comes. I'd love to hear/commiserate how it goes for you and steal any good ideas you have.
@Shiva14 I'm currently living in this unicorn fantasy world where we just move her crib to her room and she sleeps there. I'll let you know how it goes! Haha if that doesn't work, I'll try some other things but she's a pretty laid back kid and I don't think it will bother her. We aren't doing a toddler bed though, I plan to keep her in her crib/cage until she learns to climb out. I don't want her getting out of bed at night!
Delivering the placenta. Why do people not talk about this? Before becoming pregnant I was completely ignorant of the placenta and didn't realize that it's an actual organ that comes out of your body until I started doing pregnancy research after my BFP. I always thought that once the baby was out then you were DONE with delivery, not so apparently. This has made me curious about other mama's experiences with it.
Is it no big deal? Is it uncomfortable? How soon after birth does this happen? Any details to help demystify this process would be great.
@Bibliobebe Birthing the placenta was no big deal for me. Not uncomfortable or painful at all. I'd liken it to passing a gaint, gaint clot. Not sure how long after it happened because the timing all kind of runs together, but I'd say 15 minutes or less. The OB told me to give a push to birth the placenta, and it came right out. She then showed it to me without asking if I wanted to see it. I didn't think I'd want to, but it was actually pretty cool seeing the thing that had helped me nourish my daughter and the sac that had housed and protected her. The weirdest part/thing I didn't expect was being able to feel the umbilical cord hanging out of me until the placenta was out.
@bibliobebe I literally remember nothing about delivering the placenta. It happened quickly I believe and while my daughter was on my chest so I was obviousoy focused on her. My husband said the midwife just kind of pulled it out. So no pushing or any effort on my part.
@Bibliobebe It was very non-eventful. My new baby was on my chest and I remember them saying, "we are going to push on yor stomach to help you deliver the placenta", and then my dr saying, "placenta intact, delivered at...." And then she listed the time. Which I thought was funny because my placenta had a birth time just like my DD. I have heard of some people taking like 45 minutes to deliver it, and it can be an issue if it comes out in peices or torn, but for me, it was barely a thought in my mind with my new baby here.
@bibliobebe I literally remember nothing about delivering the placenta. It happened quickly I believe and while my daughter was on my chest so I was obviousoy focused on her. My husband said the midwife just kind of pulled it out. So no pushing or any effort on my part.
This exactly. For me, it was a little longer than usual before the placenta was delivered because we had chosen to donate cord blood. So after DD was born, the cord blood was gathered and then the placenta was next. But I ignored all of it. Once DD was on my chest, the rest of the world faded away.
@Bibliobebe the placenta is NBD. The doctor was like "ok, time to deliver the placenta." Within just a few minutes of having the baby, max. And the baby forged a pretty clear path. (Tmi?) I pushed once.
You become so instantly involved with the human baby you just expelled from your body, everything after that point is just a blur. (For me, at least. But I think it's a common experience.)
Re: Ask a BTDT mom
All Free & Clear for all of our laundry. Dreft smells nasty, in my opinion.
Also, @sbrown721 please come PT my stubborn child. All those stories about how no child goes to kindergarten in diapers...my kid will gladly prove that wrong.
As with all rewarding, make it realistic. Place the chart right by the potty and place the stickers in the bathroom out of reach of your child. This way you won't forget to fill it. Also, don't promise them something like an outing to get ice cream each time they fill the chart because there may be some times where you just can't get to the ice cream store that night...this is very confusing for a child.
Start with small goals and work your way up! Your first chart might just be that your child sits on the potty for 10 minutes at a time (the child wouldn't get nearly as big a reward for completing this chart as he would for pooping on the potty 3 days in a row).
Sit in the bathroom with them especially at first! Entertain them, read books, even limit ipad use to ONLY when your child is sitting on the toilet.
When my nephew was potty training, one of his bigger rewards was a toy Dora flip phone (they grabbed a handful of toys from the dollar store and had a treasure box for the twins to choose from for poops). One time he was sitting on the toilet and pushing the button on the phone which made the sound effect of taking a picture. When I asked what he was doing he said "Sending Dora my picture!!!" I nearly died in laughter that day. The idea of a 2+ year old sending dick pics to Dora (unknowingly, obviously not his intention) just struck me as hilarious, especially after a 2-day potty training crash course I had helped with.
Thanks again so so much!!!
Me: 30 | DH: 32
Together since 2008 | Married 2012
TTC #1 October 2014
BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014
BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014
BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015
BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
bags. They always busted!
Me: 30 | DH: 32
Together since 2008 | Married 2012
TTC #1 October 2014
BFP #1 October 2014 | CP #1 October 2014
BFP #2 November 2014 | CP #2 December 2014
BFP #3 June 2015 | MMC at 16 weeks September 2015
BFP #4 January 2016 | EDD September 12, 2016 | Baby Ducks born September 5, 2016
@MrsVoorhees The Lansinoh bags were my favorite! I didn't have many bust, but they would rip easily if they got caught on the shelving in the freezwr.
mail me a new box but never did, so I refused to use them again. I had plenty more after that that were split. I wanted to love them because I know their plastic is very safe, but I wasn't losing any more milk!
@MrsVoorhees 20 oz!? What a gut punch! Agree with @PSUBecky23 on defrosting in a bowl. I cried over any spillage, that much would have been heartbreaking.
This time I have a new doula bc my first moved. I'm paying $800, but she is also a certified lactation consultant, so she is including those services as part of her postpartum visits.
I truly enjoyed my medfree birth. I felt completely on control the entire time. Birth is as much a mental exercise as a physical one and my doula helped me to stay out of my head and just focus on one contraction/ push at a time.
Now, since I've told them I wanted to try a water birth, they've become a little suspicious about that one.
I should also mention that I'm at an amazing hospital with an amazing OB who is willing to let me try just about anything as long as baby is safe. In her words, this is my birth and she's just here to make sure the end result is a positive one.
Is it no big deal? Is it uncomfortable? How soon after birth does this happen? Any details to help demystify this process would be great.
You become so instantly involved with the human baby you just expelled from your body, everything after that point is just a blur. (For me, at least. But I think it's a common experience.)