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1:12PM
Re: Problematic Parents/In-Laws: Post-partum Edition
That sucks that people drop by without giving you enough warning. I lie and say we were napping so didn't come to the door. I'm lucky because my DH hates company so he's in favor of this.
I'm going to take your advice and just be direct with people who are holding him. Your mom sounds awesome
@dshannah I didn't think to even bring up the gas! I will be using this for sure.
Then read this site and get them to take you seriously as a parent so that won't continue (and to get DH in your side)
https://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation
My FIL insists that DS looks just like him and it just simply isn't true. Every time he sees him it's, "he looks just like me, I can't believe it!" If I post a picture on any social media then he'll comment something like, "looking good, just like me!" Sooooo annoying. Then on Father's Day it was allll about FIL. He posted pictures of him and DS and didn't even mention it was his son's first Father's Day. I am super annoyed.
Seriously, if anyone tried to keep my baby away from me, I would ask them to give her back nicely maybe twice before telling them, "Give me my baby and get the F out of my house", ILs or not.
Not everyone can breastfeed - Mammary Hypoplasia/Insufficient Glandular Tissue Awareness
Mine throws a pitty party if I'm holding her and she's not. Like will actually pout like a freaking child. We went out to lunch with them for Father's Day and she literally gave me the stink eye the.whole.time while I held her and ate. She purposefully wouldn't eat so that she could make it seem that she was more available for baby holding than I was. Little does she know I eat one handed all day everyday now. However, not once did she ask to hold her. If she had I probably would've handed her over, but I refuse to be stared down to the point where I feel rude for holding MY child. Suck it up buttercup. Your intimidation tactics won't work here. Unfortunately there's a LOT of backstory with his parents of why I'm so standoffish that's probably too long to get into here, so I apologize if my rudeness seems out of context. Let's just say a lot of hospital drama and a strong sense of grandparent entitlement.
1. Don't they remember what it is like to be a new mom and want to be with your baby?
2. They aren't dolls to pass around all day! They're people!
we were staying at my ILs a few weeks ago and my DH was holding Ezra when he started to cry. He tried some soothing before passing him to me for a feed as his mom said "maybe he just needs grandma!"
yes. My baby who is three weeks old (at the time) and who has met you twice has developed a specific attachment and cry for you.
i said it when we were all pregnant but I think a lot of women (especially women 50 years and older) had a lot of expectations on themselves when it came to motherhood that made it hard to enjoy. Now they see a new baby and want a second chance to enjoy motherhood. It's a good reminder to enjoy our babies because they won't want us trying to hog their kids!
Anywhoo, they decide they want to come back and visit this weekend and I tell DH that some of them need to get a hotel. Thankfully, only SIL, her husband and dog are here...everyone else is lodging elsewhere. But, they only have the room to sleep in...they're always at our house! Anytime DD cries, needs her diaper changed or needs fed, they are in hers and my faces watching every move and commentating in baby babble. She was being held by FIL and was bawling while MIL, SIL Aunt and Grandma are all in her face...hell, I would be bawling too if I had a bunch of yahoos in my face. Everyone was supposed to go home tomorrow but by golly, Grandma decided she'd let everyone else drive home and she would catch a plane back on Monday. Which means I now have to get up extra early before my doctors appointment to take her to the airport beforehand...because us Moms have nothing else better to do on ML. Go back to Kansas, for the love of Goooooooood!
Later, MIL was marveling at our click connect carseat and stroller and wouldn't stop telling me how easy we have it as parents. Uhhh yes, we are lucky with all the convenient products available but let's not tell me how easy I have it, especially since my LO has a rough start with reflux and colic and I was pretty depressed for a while.
Also, if one more person holds my baby and then tells me how hungry she is during the 2 minutes they've changed experienced her behavior, I'm gonna snap. My baby likes to lick things and she is discovering her tongue this past week. I know when she is hungry.
So have babies changed or something? My mom was asking how the bedtime routine is going for my 5 week old. I told her how I feed and swaddle and rock to sleep and she said, "can't you just feed him and put him down? If he's fed, he'll go to sleep you know." Gee, that'd be awesome, but that's not happening for me. I guess back in her day, babies just chilled 24/7.
Coincidentally, my own mom is a saint. She never told me how hard this would be, just supported and encouraged me. Now when I complain about how hard it is, she agrees and tells me how rough I have it. Lol why can't all people be like that?!
- a baby is a baby. Babies are just as difficult now as they were 30 years ago .
Guess that is why she had 6.
@kbrands7 Totally agree with the personality thing and how it affects sleep. I really don't think there was a single thing that I did to make these kids sleep this way, it's just seems to be a product of temperament. And my niece, who didn't sleep through the night til 19 months, is now 9 and incredibly brilliant and still super intense. I think when you have a child with that temperament it can be incredibly challenging because all the typical sleep things people tell you to do don't work, so I'm impressed that you made it through and still had another kid
@camillaandcarson Ha. Seriously. Also she loved being pregnant, which is where we part ways. I will NOT be having 6 kids.
My dad and stepmom were out of town for the weekend. I figured whatever, nbd. They've met the baby tons already. Come to find out today, and not even from them btw, that they're pissed I came over yesterday and that I supposedly did it on purpose bc they weren't there bc supposedly I didn't want them to see the baby.
If I waited till they came home my sisters bf wouldn't have met LO. If I waited till he came back, I would be getting ready to go back to work and not in any position to come out. I figured it was a compromise, but apparently now I'm the bad guy. Bc god forbid they had to come to our house twice... Considering they've only been to our house 4 times since we moved in 3 years ago, I think they can deal.
Also, apparently bc DH isn't a homebody and went out to hang out with some of his friends tonight MIL is pissed at him bc he couldn't drive an hour to her house to help her move furniture. She didn't ask for help at all till he was already out. And he told her he isn't going over tomorrow bc he said he's taking me and Corbin to see fireworks and she got even more mad, saying it was stupid and a waste bc he doesn't even know what is going on and won't remember. Then proceeded to say it was his fault the door on her china cabinet broke bc he wouldn't come help.
Nothing like holidays to bring the family together.
I I guess to be fair I should add that she's a super loving woman and is so excited to do all kinds of things with my baby as she grows up, and I'm really happy for Sierra that she'll have such fun and involved grandparents. But I'll have to work at constantly holding my tongue about how annoyed I am all the time.
Your baby will become the non golden child scapegoat. Their disinterest sounds in the best interest of your own child.
Find reliable childcare, not flaky granny who has intense favoritism through the generations.
That baby is now a toddler and my holding privileges are limited and few and far between as toddler is full speed ahead busy busy on the go constantly.
Enjoy those snuggles while you can