Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
DeniseDonati
member
Re: IVF success stories?
There's much more to the story that caused a delay for a year. Because of my age, we wanted to get as many embryos as we could right away, so I did 3 back to back ERs. We also paid a lot for the pgd testing with eliminated embryos that would not have becks a pregnancy. We were left with 5 normal embryos. When i had my 2nd saline sonogram before transferring, I was told I had polyps, which needed to be removed. After going through a myomectomy last year, it was no big deal. I also met with a nutritionist at the clinic who told me what I could eat and avoid to get my uterus in good shape. I was supposed to have foods that were anti-inflammatory. She also gave me options to lower my sugar. I also kept up with my exercising.
On the day of transfer, I had lazer acupuncture right before and after. I don't know if the acupuncture and diet changed the outcome, but it couldn't hurt. I know the decision to have the hysteroscopy and myomectomy was necessary. Even though it was a lot of money, the pgd testing saved me from putting in genetically abnormal embryos. I had about 12 to 14 embryos, but only 5 were normal. (Over 3 cycles)
Even though we did everything right, I was still shocked by the good news. I figured with delay after delay (even my 1st fet had to be canceled) I set myself up for bad news.
Good luck. Hope this helps.
Congratulations! I hope it's a smooth pregnancy and delivery.
Me: DOR, poor egg quality, MTHFR
DH: MFI
TTC since 3/2014
2015: 3 IUI's-BFN
12/2015: 1st IVF cycle-(9 follicles retrieved, 5 mature, 3 fertilized w/ICSI, transferred 1 excellent and 1 good embryo on day 3)-chemical pregnancy
3/2016: 2nd IVF cycle- canceled (3 follicles retrieved, 3 mature, all fertilized w/ICSI, 1 fragmented, 2 arrested)
3/2016: RE suggested donor eggs- taking an ivf break and to supplement
9/2016: 3rd ivf cycle-cancelled due to early ovulation
Oct./Nov 2016: 4th ivf cycle- EPP-AFC:5, retrieved 10, 10 mature, 8 fertilized with ICSI, 6 blastocysts biopsied and frozen. 3 CCS normal embryos
1/18/17: beta #1-104
1/20/17: beta #2-174
2/2/17: first u/s, heartbeat of 107 at 6w1d
7/20/17: baby boy born at 30+3 via emergency c-section
We got pregnant on our very first transfer. The very first one!!!!! I have a healthy, adorable 9 month old boy. (He's not too happy right now though, teething).
I also got pregnant on our second transfer (we are trying for #2 already). Unfortunately it ended as a chemical pregnancy which I took very hard. We are currently scheduled for another FET in September.
So even though it may not be likely you'll get pregnant the first time, it is definitely possible. Good luck to you.
Married Jan. 2014
Me:36 DH: 39
TTC since August 2014, Mild PCOS + uterine fibroids
Myomectomy June 2015- 18 fibroids removed
IVF #1, May 2016 = 32 eggs retrieved, 12 fertilized, 7 frozen, 3 PGS normal
FET#2, July 2016 = one embryo transferred
TRIGGER
BFP! Beta = 617
Due date = 4/9/17
Delivery date = 3/20/17
DH: 41
Married 10/25/2014 / TTC since 05/2015
1st IUI 05/05/16 Letrozole 7.5 mg CD 3-11 + Ovidrel = BFN
2nd cycle on Letrozole 7.5 mg CD 3-11 + TI = BFN
3rd cycle on Letrozole but did our 2nd IUI on 07/01/16. 10 mg CD 3-11 + Ovidrel = BFN
Onto IVF! Started Lupron on 09/24. Added Gonal F and hcg injections 09/26...... Trigger 10/07. EggRetrieval 10/09. Starting PIO, Estrace, and Medrol 10/10/16. Transferred 2 "strong/beautiful" embryos 10/14/16. Beta 10/28/16 = 998 mIU/mL = BFP with one baby, but miscarried at 9w5d.
D&C on 12/06/17 and started taking BCPs 01/10/17 for the next IVF Cycle, which officially began stims on 02/18/17.
Fast Forward: we got 4 fertilized embryos from that cycle. Transferred one fresh, but it did not stick, so we have 3 frozen embryos currently. Went in to the fertility clinic in July to talk about a FET of one of those three frozen embryos, but a new fibroid was discovered, and I was not cleared to do the transfer until I had fibroid removal surgery.
08/11/17 had a mini-laparotomy / myomectomy to remove 6 fibroids, largest sized were the size of golf-balls! Once we were cleared to go about our normal lives (sex!) I got pregnant NATURALLY but it was a chemical pregnancy. The very next month we had another BFP and here we are now with a baby on the way! A TOTAL AND COMPLETE MIRACLE!
Watch our YouTube Channel Vlog Here!
I have 4 friends who went through IVF (I'm part of a local moms group, shows infertility is common!) Only one wasn't successful on the first try, and she had success on her second FET. My doctor did say that a fresh transfer can be hit or miss as your body just went through a lot with stimulation meds, why many opt to go straight for frozen. But overall I've heard great success stories
IVF #1: ER 03/29/10; ET 04/01/10: transferred 2 embies; Beta #1 (9dp3dt)- 45; Beta #2 (11dp3dt)- 91= BFP
FET#1: ET 04/18/12: transferred 4 embies; Beta #1: >2 = BFN
IVF #2: ER 06/20/12; ET 6/25/12: transferred 2 embies; Beta #1 on 7/5/12= BFN
8/16: hysteroscopy for uterine polyp removal
11/11: hysteroscopy #2 for yet another uterine polyp removal
FET#2: ET 12/15/12: transferred 3 embies; Beta #1 (9dp5dt): 12/24/12: 426; Beta #2 (11dp5dt): 12/26/12: 845= BFP
u/s 1/9= triplets!; miscarried all three on 1/10/13...
First, I had some unsuccessful IVFs. Tried twice, both times cancelled for poor response.
Then we decided to try with my wife's eggs, my uterus. She's 38, but had a solid response with 10 eggs, 7 fertilized, and 4 made it to blast. We transferred two and froze two, and I'm now 5 weeks pregnant.
We both cut out alcohol and cut way down on sugar (and we both lost about ten pounds in the months before the cycle). At the transfer, she told me a ton of ridiculous jokes, and I watched funny cat videos and baby videos on the drive home (there's an Israeli study that laughter after IVF increases success). I ate the pineapple core, and tried to watch funny things throughout the TWW.
I got my BFP the day I turned 40.
It's still early, obviously, but I'm so happy to be here.
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
Hello. I've gone through three attempts of IVF. The first two attempts were unsuccessful. But I'm glad that I got pregnant after the third try. I desperately wanted to have kids. And my dream came true. I'm really glad that I didn't give up. But it doesn't mean that the first IVF attempt is always unsuccessful. I know a lot of women, who got pregnant from the first IVF try. I met them in our reproduction center. So, every woman is different. No one can tell you for sure if you have success or not. You should stay positive whatever happens. You will get pregnant when the right time comes. Don't listen to your friend. I'm sure you will be fine.