CRAP - help me think fast - SIL and brother are coming tomorrow and SIL just told me she's got a bottle of fabulous red wine to share. Normally I'm all over at least a glass... They know about our MC and that we're trying but I don't want to announce to them right now - and certainly not before my mom. DH is useless - he's not up for telling people but his response was just "well there isn't much else you can say" - and I can't play the "diet" card because I'm not overweight and SIL is sensitive about her weight.
I suppose I could go with "I've discovered red wine upsets my stomach" or "I've had issues with the tannins in red wine"... "heartburn"...
I can always recant when I eventually tell them I'm pregnant - they know about the MC - and they've had one themselves, if they don't understand a little white lie then too bad for them... right?
@catiecatp with DD I used to say I was hungover from the night before because I went out with friends/killed a bottle with just DH/had a work happy hour, etc. I found it was the best excuse!
CRAP - help me think fast - SIL and brother are coming tomorrow and SIL just told me she's got a bottle of fabulous red wine to share. Normally I'm all over at least a glass... They know about our MC and that we're trying but I don't want to announce to them right now - and certainly not before my mom. DH is useless - he's not up for telling people but his response was just "well there isn't much else you can say" - and I can't play the "diet" card because I'm not overweight and SIL is sensitive about her weight.
I suppose I could go with "I've discovered red wine upsets my stomach" or "I've had issues with the tannins in red wine"... "heartburn"...
I can always recant when I eventually tell them I'm pregnant - they know about the MC - and they've had one themselves, if they don't understand a little white lie then too bad for them... right?
You could claim a cleanse or Whole 30 as long as you can handle eating otherwise "healthy."
I haven't read everyone else's but just had an amazing one.
I I was at the park with DS and a mom came up to me to ask if my son was wearing an "all star" hat because he just ate shit off the slide. I was like "no my son is in a ninja turtle hat and running around right there"
He was fine but good thing he wasn't like kidnapped and I had to explain his clothes to the police.
My FFFC is that my SIL and brother are coming to visit - and I'm happy but I'm also dreading it. We have to clean better (which is really a good thing) but this SIL has told me over email that she thinks I have Asperger's - that was nearly 2 years ago - I never replied. Now there is nothing wrong with having ASD but the woman has a f*#king bachelors of fine arts and an accounting degree - she never even took intro psychology (not that it would help the diagnosis but still...) because she "doesn't believe labels help". Then why on Earth is she labelling me. She says it is helpful like my unofficial diagnosis of Celiac - I disagree - knowing I have Celiac changes my behaviour day to day - saying I have ASD doesn't. Plus you'd think the 4 psychiatrists and the psychologist that I've seen would have said something in the past 15 years? I have depression and anxiety - plus I don't get most sarcastic comments - that isn't ASD...
I don't think she'll bring it up, she's not that stupid - but a part of me would rather not see her - or if I have to see her, not have her stay at our place.
CRAP - help me think fast - SIL and brother are coming tomorrow and SIL just told me she's got a bottle of fabulous red wine to share. Normally I'm all over at least a glass... They know about our MC and that we're trying but I don't want to announce to them right now - and certainly not before my mom. DH is useless - he's not up for telling people but his response was just "well there isn't much else you can say" - and I can't play the "diet" card because I'm not overweight and SIL is sensitive about her weight.
I suppose I could go with "I've discovered red wine upsets my stomach" or "I've had issues with the tannins in red wine"... "heartburn"...
I can always recant when I eventually tell them I'm pregnant - they know about the MC - and they've had one themselves, if they don't understand a little white lie then too bad for them... right?
Antibiotics is one excuse you could use.
What I've done if hosting at my own house is to have a decoy drink that is supposedly alcoholic like seltzer and lime for a gin and tonic etc. Then if wine is poured I do a tiny sip and then have it disappear by tipping it in the sink whenever I pass through the kitchen and am alone or have husband sip from the same glass so the level goes down.
My FFFC - my house is dirty but I'm pretty sure I'm going to order groceries on the Internet and spend the weekend being lazy. The MS is strong and I just don't feel pushing through it. So I'm going to play with my toddler and ignore all other adult responsibilities for the next 2 days.
FFFC #2 - I am seriously considering letting my toddler go past her 30 minutes of tv today in order to join the afternoon nap crew. And I swore I would never let the tv, iPad, etc "babysit" my child....
My FFFC is that I allow my kids screen time all the damn time. LOL.
My oldest was on the computer for 3 hours yesterday while I cleaned the kitchen and took a nap. And before lunch he had been on the xbox for at least an hour. My 3 year old spent a good hour on my phone watching corny youtube videos so I could catch up on UNreal. THEN we all watched Harry Potter than evening.
I swear there were, like, 5-6 hours of "screen time" throughout the whole day. And we still managed to read books, play pirates in the backyard, ride our bikes outside in satan's heat pit, AND visit grandma.
My official FFFC is that I don't care about screen time limits as long as my children remain decent humans.
Completely agree. I don't agree with limiting screen time. he gets to play to his heart content when he behaves. but one argument with me about anything, he loses it for rest of the day. It's a good motivator.
Thanks ladies - I knew I could count on y'all helping me get ideas of what to say/do - it wasn't something I thought I'd be dealing with.
And with regards to my SIL's email - yeah she has her moments. My mom says "you always know where you stand with her..." which is a polite way of saying she's "blunt" - which isn't too much of an issue, except she deals it out and doesn't take it well. I'm not the only one she's "diagnosed" - the list includes 1 of her sons (she might be right on that one), my mom and nonno...
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
I'm keeping a vomit tally to nonchalantly show DH when he gets home from 5 weeks away for no other reason but to prove I deserve the expensive diaper bag we saw awhile ago.
I don't know how these things are related, but I'm going to milk it just in case
I got a Timi and Leslie (Rachel) the last time around and I loved it. DH hated it the entire time. I will probably try to sneak buying another bag this time around. He might disown me.
I had to google that and let out an audible "Ooooo." I have some serious research to do.
DH is convinced we should use one of his tactical backpacks "because look at all the pockets! It can hold 50 lbs of gear!" He's so damn cute though, I don't have the heart to tell him it reeks of Iraq and still has toxic sand everywhere...perfect for diapers
I justtttttt got mine a tactical dad bag he wanted so badly for his first father's day present. His army bags are sweaty and dirty but the one I just got is perfect for him. Can't wait til it comes in!
FFFC #2 - I am seriously considering letting my toddler go past her 30 minutes of tv today in order to join the afternoon nap crew. And I swore I would never let the tv, iPad, etc "babysit" my child....
My official FFFC is that I don't care about screen time limits as long as my children remain decent humans.
::does eye-winky finger pointy thing::
I'm right there with you. As long as tv time is balanced out with other activities, I don't give a flip.
My FFFC, is that I left my 9mo princess with Nana for the day so I could take the older kids (our boys) to an indoor water park out of town! I just wanted to be able to to float down the lazy river without a baby in my hands (I'm awful, I know!) It was a blast! The boys are getting big/responsible enough that I could actually enjoy myself too!
And I kicked my eldest's butt at SkeeBall in the Arcade! Hehe
I was wrong - SIL mentioned the ASD stuff and I didn't punch her in the f*ckin' trachea! Didn't think she'd bring it up but I was wrong. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be but still...
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
I was wrong - SIL mentioned the ASD stuff and I didn't punch her in the f*ckin' trachea! Didn't think she'd bring it up but I was wrong. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be but still...
I hope you at least addressed how inappropriate she was in bringing that up. Like, who even says stuff like that?
I said I disagreed with her and that traits don't make a dianosis. That feeling me I have maybe a bit of undiagnosed ADD along with depression and anxiety diagnosed. That both of those explain how I behave but it is easier for me to see because I see my own thoughts. She told me that she accepts what I believe, disagrees and maybe even doesn't care that I disagree. SIL is a lot to handle but I don't see her often and love her like a sister (she's been dating my brother since I was about 2 - he's much older than I am). Maybe I should have said more but I value the family relationship more than I want to make waves. I will likely feel differently if she ever decides my kids are also on the spectrum when they aren't (I'll have them seen professionally and have that to shut her up). But that is a problem for future me and I have enough on my plate right now.
She he certainly was a distraction yesterday and therefore a great aid to my mental health overall.
---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---
As far as the secret or not, I'm also on the tell people train. After my loss I really appreciated the outpouring of love and support. Now, I'm not telling everyone, but immediate family and close friends all know.
My FFFC is that I only comb my kids hair when I wash it. And I only wash it every 3/4 days. Otherwise it gets a finger comb or a messy bun. The fighting just isn't worth it! MOTY, I know. Eta: idk how to fix the pic on mobile
My FFFC is that I only comb my kids hair when I wash it. And I only wash it every 3/4 days. Otherwise it gets a finger comb or a messy bun. The fighting just isn't worth it! MOTY, I know. Eta: idk how to fix the pic on mobile
Lol I'm guilty of this with my girls too. My older daughter is old enough to brush her own at this point, and I'm lucky that my younger daughter has hair that doesn't really need to be brushed everyday.
I just need to vent somewhere without being judged and this seems like a good place. And yes, I know this is sounds catty.
Flash forward to today, she invites me and my sisters over for brunch and whips out an ultrasound. She's apparently 11 weeks and had told EVERYONE but me over a week ago. She then felt the need to say "It just happened so fast, we didn't expect to get pregnant our first try!" Thanks, sis.
I have been trying since Sept. 2015. That was a bit of a slap in the face. To top it off, my mom will be visiting from CA this weekend/next week and we were going to announce after my appointment on Monday. Now it seems like old news
@scifichick09 I'm glad you were able to vent here. I'm sorry your sister was so inconsiderate in her choice of words. That was not kind or thoughtful on her part. This is indeed a tough situation but in the longterm it will be nice to have cousins close in age, right? As for your Mom's visit, I'm betting that she will be happy for you and it will NOT be old news especially knowing the journey you went through. She is Mom after all Were you working on an announcement idea? (There is a thread in Feb 2017 and Jan 2017 with some ideas.) That may help you share your excitement and also focus on how awesome it is that you are pregnant now.
I just need to vent somewhere without being judged and this seems like a good place. And yes, I know this is sounds catty.
Flash forward to today, she invites me and my sisters over for brunch and whips out an ultrasound. She's apparently 11 weeks and had told EVERYONE but me over a week ago. She then felt the need to say "It just happened so fast, we didn't expect to get pregnant our first try!" Thanks, sis.
I have been trying since Sept. 2015. That was a bit of a slap in the face. To top it off, my mom will be visiting from CA this weekend/next week and we were going to announce after my appointment on Monday. Now it seems like old news
@scifichick09 I'm glad you were able to vent here. I'm sorry your sister was so inconsiderate in her choice of words. That was not kind or thoughtful on her part. This is indeed a tough situation but in the longterm it will be nice to have cousins close in age, right? As for your Mom's visit, I'm betting that she will be happy for you and it will NOT be old news especially knowing the journey you went through. She is Mom after all Were you working on an announcement idea? (There is a thread in Feb 2017 and Jan 2017 with some ideas.) That may help you share your excitement and also focus on how awesome it is that you are pregnant now.
This. I know the sting of words that were said in an inconsiderate way after my loss too. Sometimes, people say things and don't realize what implications they have since they haven't walked in our shoes - not excusing your sisters comments, but she might not truly understand why or how that might hurt. I want to send you all the hugs, I know that words can hurt so deeply after all you have been through.
And I totally agree, it will not be old news! I'm sure your family will be overjoyed. I was pregnant at the same time as my sister with my DD and it was really cool to share that experience. Now, her son and my daughter are the closest of all the cousins. You are always welcome to vent here, that's what we are here for!
@scifichick09 I'm so sorry that happened. I can absolutely understand feeling upset with how she handled everything.
My first instinct is to think that maybe, initially, she didn't know how to tell you so that's why everyone else knew before you. But at the same time, the way she actually announced it was a little inconsiderate.
I've never experienced a loss but I would have preferred she told me in private so I could have my own moment to process the news and not feel forced to put on a happy face for the people around me, you know?
@scifichick09 I'm so sorry that your sister said those things, I'm guessing she probably didn't realize what she said was so hurtful. I think in that case it's ok to talk to her privately and just let her know that you are excited for her but tell her in a non-confrontational way that the way she told you hurt that way she can hopefully learn and not make someone else who has been trying for a while or experience a loss get hurt.
I obviously don't know your sister and her situation but it is possible that her pregnancy had nothing to do with yours. We've told friends and family no matter how close that we aren't trying for a while and were waiting to buy a house when in reality we have had the date of August 2016 in our plans for about a year now and moved it up to April due to job changes and timing. Maybe that isn't the case here but she might just have not wanted to say when they were actually trying for a lot of reasons.
I agree with PP that I don't think your mom will consider your news old, a new baby can never be considered old news!
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Thank you everyone for all of the advice and kind words. You guys are the best and have some very good points, I'm feeling better now that I have been able to vent and get some advice from you all.
Re: FFFC Anyone?
I I was at the park with DS and a mom came up to me to ask if my son was wearing an "all star" hat because he just ate shit off the slide. I was like "no my son is in a ninja turtle hat and running around right there"
What I've done if hosting at my own house is to have a decoy drink that is supposedly alcoholic like seltzer and lime for a gin and tonic etc. Then if wine is poured I do a tiny sip and then have it disappear by tipping it in the sink whenever I pass through the kitchen and am alone or have husband sip from the same glass so the level goes down.
My FFFC - my house is dirty but I'm pretty sure I'm going to order groceries on the Internet and spend the weekend being lazy. The MS is strong and I just don't feel pushing through it. So I'm going to play with my toddler and ignore all other adult responsibilities for the next 2 days.
And with regards to my SIL's email - yeah she has her moments. My mom says "you always know where you stand with her..." which is a polite way of saying she's "blunt" - which isn't too much of an issue, except she deals it out and doesn't take it well. I'm not the only one she's "diagnosed" - the list includes 1 of her sons (she might be right on that one), my mom and nonno...
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
And I kicked my eldest's butt at SkeeBall in the Arcade! Hehe
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
She he certainly was a distraction yesterday and therefore a great aid to my mental health overall.
Me: 33 & DH: 33
Married: 07/2006
TTC: 10/2015
BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017
After my loss I really appreciated the outpouring of love and support. Now, I'm not telling everyone, but immediate family and close friends all know.
MOTY, I know.
Eta: idk how to fix the pic on mobile
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ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
And I totally agree, it will not be old news! I'm sure your family will be overjoyed. I was pregnant at the same time as my sister with my DD and it was really cool to share that experience. Now, her son and my daughter are the closest of all the cousins. You are always welcome to vent here, that's what we are here for!
My first instinct is to think that maybe, initially, she didn't know how to tell you so that's why everyone else knew before you. But at the same time, the way she actually announced it was a little inconsiderate.
I've never experienced a loss but I would have preferred she told me in private so I could have my own moment to process the news and not feel forced to put on a happy face for the people around me, you know?
Hugs.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
I obviously don't know your sister and her situation but it is possible that her pregnancy had nothing to do with yours. We've told friends and family no matter how close that we aren't trying for a while and were waiting to buy a house when in reality we have had the date of August 2016 in our plans for about a year now and moved it up to April due to job changes and timing. Maybe that isn't the case here but she might just have not wanted to say when they were actually trying for a lot of reasons.
I agree with PP that I don't think your mom will consider your news old, a new baby can never be considered old news!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Thank you everyone for all of the advice and kind words. You guys are the best and have some very good points, I'm feeling better now that I have been able to vent and get some advice from you all.
I love you guys
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!