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January 2016 Moms
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Time for Yourself

BGoperadivaBGoperadiva member
edited June 2016 in January 2016 Moms
So lately I have been feeling really down, not about my lo, just in general.  I am having a hard time taking time for myself.  My husband is great, he will look at me and say just let me know when you want to go do something and I will watch lo.  The problem is, when he says this, I have absolutely NO IDEA what I want to do.  I want to go do something, but the second I start thinking about what I could do, I have this mom guilt about not spending time with my baby (I am a full time working mom, so I think that contributes to a lot of the guilt).

For non-first time moms, does this get easier? Will it be easier to take time for myself later on? 
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Re: Time for Yourself

  • lrayaslrayas member
    I just barely started taking time for myself by going to the gym. Nothing extreme, just 30 min on the treadmill. I am a teacher and have the summer off. My husband works nights. I've started taking over daytime duties but am making it a point to go to the gym at least 5 times a week. I try to go when she naps so I don't have as much "mom guilt" for not being nearby. It's done a lot for my mood too. I feel like I'm emotionally in a better place by doing this one thing for myself. The first week was rough but now at week 3 it's a nice little getaway. 
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  • jessjuhnkejessjuhnke member
    A few days a week DH takes LO to daycare so I can have time to exercise and shower alone. At first I felt incredibly guilty because this means LO usually spends a little longer at daycare  (maybe 30-60 minutes)those days but I have to remind myself I need to take a just little time for myself. When I don't I really start feeling in a rut and just kinda overwhelmed.
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  • carlyhammondcarlyhammond member
    Yes I am a FTM, but I can relate. 
    Today i got off of work at 1:30/1:45 I told my mom I got off at work at 3pm but I just came home and had a little me time (ate lunch) but when I got home I just started feeling so guilty for leaving him with my mom and not having him with me.
    SO and I take one Tuesday a month and do things for "us" last time I ended up crying because I missed LO so much. 

    I love getting a pedicure but I feel better when SO watches LO than just leaving him with my mom. 
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  • EmmyMommy123EmmyMommy123 member
    Agree with pp that it's good for your morale and it also helped me to plan "me time" around naps or when baby is happily awake. If I know he could be struggling with whoever is watching him, I feel way more guilty than if I know he's not missing me or he's having a good time! I don't even bother trying to go out at bedtime or when a feeding is near as he hates the bottle, and this has gotten rid of a lot of stress/anxiety/guilt already. 

    I also agree that doing even the most mundane tasks for even 20 minutes will help uplift you bit by bit and you'll see that baby can handle it and so can baby's caregivers!! 

    After a very long month of sleep regression (and bad sleep/naps since birth) I finally started to take some time to myself again and it's like a breath of fresh air. My birthday was this month so I was kind of "forced" into it, but I don't regret it. I scheduled a massage for while my son would be sleeping so I fed him and left him with grandma to nap (he goes down super easy if someone other than me bounces him on the exercise ball, for me he will have none of that) and then went for lunch with my husband after the massage. It was perfect - baby was rested and happy with grandma and I was home in time to feed him and put him down for his next nap. Then last night DH and I went for dinner after babe's last nap of the day and were home in time for me to feed him and put him down for bed. 
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  • stephanienjerstephanienjer member
    I go to a weekly women's book group. I take my LO, but all the other ladies want to visit with her, so I still get a break. We hardly ever talk about the books, honestly, but we've done a lot of bonding over a common interest.
    I have a really hard time trusting my husband for long periods of time with LO alone. He was in an accident, and suffered a brain injury. While he's improving daily, impulse control is a big issue still. I worry that he'll lose his temper if she gets upset and I won't be there to diffuse the situation. (This is atypical of his normal behavior--completely linked to the injury, so we're trying to work through it.)
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  • klbhklbh member
    Remember, it's good for your LO to have a big community of people who care for them, just as it's good for you to have a life outside being a mom. There's nothing to feel guilty about. My advice is just to practice! Make it a point of regularly doing things you enjoy. For me that's exercising, going to a feminist book club, meeting friends for coffee or drinks, seeing movies, or just reading on my own in a cafe. 
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  • kaym6kaym6 member
    edited June 2016
    I need to start doing this! My husband works/is away for work constantly and he is military so we live near no one  :| I find it's hard because since he's gone so often I want to spend time with him too! Not just have him watch the baby which he willingly would do so it makes it tough! 
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  • MamaHollandMamaHolland member
    edited June 2016
    I can relate. I took about 2 hours away this week. I went to get a pedicure. It was my first time doing anything by myself & for myself since I had the baby 
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