January 2016 Moms
BGoperadiva
member
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Time for Yourself
BGoperadiva
member
So lately I have been feeling really down, not about my lo, just in general. I am having a hard time taking time for myself. My husband is great, he will look at me and say just let me know when you want to go do something and I will watch lo. The problem is, when he says this, I have absolutely NO IDEA what I want to do. I want to go do something, but the second I start thinking about what I could do, I have this mom guilt about not spending time with my baby (I am a full time working mom, so I think that contributes to a lot of the guilt).
For non-first time moms, does this get easier? Will it be easier to take time for myself later on?
For non-first time moms, does this get easier? Will it be easier to take time for myself later on?
Re: Time for Yourself
Things I've done lately for "me" that aren't a large commitment:
-painted my toenails a bright girly colour
-went to Starbucks for a decaf macchiato
-picked up cat food without LO (there is something strangely liberating about running an errand without a baby)
-put gas in my car without LO (re:above)
-went for 20 minute runs prior to realizing how much I hate running
-played computer games
And then I go out for bigger multi-hour outings every 3-4 weeks, like going to a fine dining restaurant with SO or catching a performance at the local theatre. These big things give me something to look forward to!
Honestly, take just 20 minutes for yourself each day and it will make a huge difference in your morale.
Today i got off of work at 1:30/1:45 I told my mom I got off at work at 3pm but I just came home and had a little me time (ate lunch) but when I got home I just started feeling so guilty for leaving him with my mom and not having him with me.
SO and I take one Tuesday a month and do things for "us" last time I ended up crying because I missed LO so much.
I love getting a pedicure but I feel better when SO watches LO than just leaving him with my mom.
I also agree that doing even the most mundane tasks for even 20 minutes will help uplift you bit by bit and you'll see that baby can handle it and so can baby's caregivers!!
After a very long month of sleep regression (and bad sleep/naps since birth) I finally started to take some time to myself again and it's like a breath of fresh air. My birthday was this month so I was kind of "forced" into it, but I don't regret it. I scheduled a massage for while my son would be sleeping so I fed him and left him with grandma to nap (he goes down super easy if someone other than me bounces him on the exercise ball, for me he will have none of that) and then went for lunch with my husband after the massage. It was perfect - baby was rested and happy with grandma and I was home in time to feed him and put him down for his next nap. Then last night DH and I went for dinner after babe's last nap of the day and were home in time for me to feed him and put him down for bed.
I have a really hard time trusting my husband for long periods of time with LO alone. He was in an accident, and suffered a brain injury. While he's improving daily, impulse control is a big issue still. I worry that he'll lose his temper if she gets upset and I won't be there to diffuse the situation. (This is atypical of his normal behavior--completely linked to the injury, so we're trying to work through it.)