@kitteh81 I guess we have to agree to disagree on the subject. Like I've mentioned before, I absolutely love my OB and wouldn't trade him for anyone. There is actually a midwife at his practice that is a wonderful woman and I've had nothing but good interactions with her but in my experience I'm so very thankful for modern medicine and all the help it's been to me and my babies (namely my 1st because he was the only one that really had a hard time when he was born). I've also heard great stories about midwives and doulas and I'm sure those women wouldn't trade them for anything. I do think that going as far to say that OBs should only handle high-risk is too far. For many reasons. Like I said though, it's a personal preference type of thing and I'm not judging either way. As long as baby and mom are healthy and happy that's all that matters. And yes, lol now 6. Maybe when I get banned I'll fix that 5
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I certainly think so, @SarahFoley725 but I think it has more to do with hospital/medicated birth versus home or center/unmedicated birth since the providers for these two options are different.
I'm not necessarily referring to this thread, just a general vibe I get from all over TB and in my personal interactions with friends and acquaintances.
I certainly think so, @SarahFoley725 but I think it has more to do with hospital/medicated birth versus home or center/unmedicated birth since the providers for these two options are different.
I'm not necessarily referring to this thread, just a general vibe I get from all over TB and in my personal interactions with friends and acquaintances.
@kynbar5 I get that vibe around here also and via Facebook posts and such. I don't get the riff. My best friend had a midwife and an unmediated tub birth. I said no thanks I'll take my epidural at the hospital with my OB and neither of us think each other sucks lol.
Our doula was one of my best friends, so I'm biased and was already going into it with someone my husband and I were comfortable with. She was training to be a doula and is now in school to be a midwife. I loved having her there and she absolutely did not take the place of my husband. There are different needs that have to be met and my husband couldn't do it all. Though my husband and I took a birthing class together, he had no idea how or what he would be like, as much as I would know how I would be or act like. So for her to be there and have experienced a birth before was very helpful. She took pictures, had so many encouraging words to offer in my weaker moments, gave excellent back rubs (because my husband sucks at them), She supplied me with food and water while I leaned on my husband for support, and she made us our first meal while my husband and I were oogling over my son. We could have cared less about eating during those first hours postpartum, and she showed up with dinner. It was awesome. Later she helped tidy lose ends and left quietly.
I think it would benefit you both if your husband knew that this person that could potentially be there, is not going to take his place. You will still very much need him, but in different ways than you need a doula. And birthing is their expertise, why not have someone there that can be an advocate for going med-free and really knows how to take care of you in such a vulnerable time,
Hi there, I, like a few people on here had a horrible experience with midwives. Like someone else who posted here, my midwives were rushing my birth. Because of that, my labor actually lasted much longer than it should have. They should have been giving me a rest to allow my body to take over, but they never allowed that to happen, so I exhausted myself with unproductive pushes for SIX hours. Finally, after I yelled at them and told them I wasn't going to push anymore, they left me alone for a while. Only then did my body start doing what it needed to.
Also, my midwives did not listen to me or my husband at all. We had lots of concerns about my "borderline" gestational diabetes and the size of our baby and complications due to those factors. All of our ultrasound techs stated we had a very large for gestational age baby, but all the midwives dismissed this and told us we were having a 7 lb baby. Our baby was 9 lbs. My gestational diabetes also went completely un monitored by my midwife. I believe that had we been given the option of a c-section, my baby would not have had to spend the first three days of his life in an incubator hooked up to a glucose drip (an IV). For a long time I blamed myself and my un-checked sugar levels. Not until recently have I heard from a few different doctors that the stress of the long labor was probably the more contributing factor.
I have come to realize that midwives have an agenda: they have an idea of what birth is "supposed" to be like, and they are going to push you, your body, and even your baby to the limits to reach that goal. And when they reach it, they consider it a success. My midwives likely considered my labor a "success". Yay! We avoided c-section. Meanwhile I suffered serious depression when they took my baby away from me. They wouldn't even allow me to nurse (and even discouraged me from bottle feeding my own baby!) because I might disrupt his sugar levels. That was no success.
I've started posting on the bump about my experience I guess as a sort of therapy. It's sad, but it's the only recourse I have for the horrible experience I had. My delivering midwife was a stranger, I had never met her before. As soon as she came in, she started treating me like a criminal, like somehow my long labor was my fault. I sometimes cry just thinking about it. I love my baby, he's perfect, but I just get so sad when I think of the first days of his life when he should've been in my arms. Instead he was just in the company of strangers. I don't get those days back.
A year later now, the three days are small in comparison to every day that we've shared together, but it doesn't change how I can still barely talk about that experience without crying of either sadness or anger. I guess my advice for the midwife/OB argument is regardless of who you choose, know the individual and the health system you are delivering in. Set limits for these medical professionals, and if they are not listening to you, insist on someone else.
Re: Husband doesn't want a doula- advice/suggestions?
Is there one of those mommy war things on OB vs Midwife like BF vs Formula etc?
I'm not necessarily referring to this thread, just a general vibe I get from all over TB and in my personal interactions with friends and acquaintances.
Also, my midwives did not listen to me or my husband at all. We had lots of concerns about my "borderline" gestational diabetes and the size of our baby and complications due to those factors. All of our ultrasound techs stated we had a very large for gestational age baby, but all the midwives dismissed this and told us we were having a 7 lb baby. Our baby was 9 lbs. My gestational diabetes also went completely un monitored by my midwife. I believe that had we been given the option of a c-section, my baby would not have had to spend the first three days of his life in an incubator hooked up to a glucose drip (an IV). For a long time I blamed myself and my un-checked sugar levels. Not until recently have I heard from a few different doctors that the stress of the long labor was probably the more contributing factor.
I have come to realize that midwives have an agenda: they have an idea of what birth is "supposed" to be like, and they are going to push you, your body, and even your baby to the limits to reach that goal. And when they reach it, they consider it a success. My midwives likely considered my labor a "success". Yay! We avoided c-section. Meanwhile I suffered serious depression when they took my baby away from me. They wouldn't even allow me to nurse (and even discouraged me from bottle feeding my own baby!) because I might disrupt his sugar levels. That was no success.
I've started posting on the bump about my experience I guess as a sort of therapy. It's sad, but it's the only recourse I have for the horrible experience I had. My delivering midwife was a stranger, I had never met her before. As soon as she came in, she started treating me like a criminal, like somehow my long labor was my fault. I sometimes cry just thinking about it. I love my baby, he's perfect, but I just get so sad when I think of the first days of his life when he should've been in my arms. Instead he was just in the company of strangers. I don't get those days back.
A year later now, the three days are small in comparison to every day that we've shared together, but it doesn't change how I can still barely talk about that experience without crying of either sadness or anger. I guess my advice for the midwife/OB argument is regardless of who you choose, know the individual and the health system you are delivering in. Set limits for these medical professionals, and if they are not listening to you, insist on someone else.