Just need to vent — The Bump
February 2016 Moms

Just need to vent

So I need to preface this post with that I love my DH so much and appreciate what a great father he is. But a couple things are just really getting on my nerves. Prepare for a looong post! Wary ones, turn back now!

I am EBF, and since LO was born I've pretty much taken all the night shifts because it didn't make sense to me for DH to also get up when I needed to anyway for feedings. DH used to take the mornings after LO was fed so I could get some sleep, but since I've been back to work it hasn't made sense since I would have to be up for work anyway. Plus LO is now sleeping through the night. I work full time and DH more or less does too (he works outdoors so weather sometimes dictates his schedule), however we agreed he will take Friday's off to watch LO since he has a more flexible schedule than I do. That's been fine, but since we're both working I've been pulling baby duty just about every second I'm home from when I wake up and feed him to when I get home from work to when I put him to bed. It feels like DH almost always only takes him when I need to make dinner, which I find really annoying because that's not giving me a break, I'm still working. Meanwhile, the majority of the time DH is home after work or in the morning is spent playing video games, his guitar, or watching TV. That kind of bugs me, but this weekend really ticked me off. Our LO has had his first cold over the last week (no fever or fussing thank goodness, but coughing and congested) and after I fed him Saturday morning after he woke up around 6:30, I brought him into our bed for some snuggles and a little rest. DH asked me to take him downstairs because LO's breathing was loud and keeping him awake and he wanted to rest and, as he put it, "he takes him in the morning for me." Yeah, a month ago you did, but not lately. So I go downstairs and after breakfast decide to go for a walk. After that, I wound up going to our nephew's basketball game with LO because I thought that would give DH a break. While I was gone, he played his guitar all day because he had nothing to do and did one load of dishes. OK, that's fine. But the next morning he gives me attitude because I haven't done any housework over the weekend yet. To which I point out that I clean all the bottles, my pumping stuff, do laundry, make dinner, and do everything for our baby (feed, dress, bathe, most diapers, arranging child care) to which he says "but that's not housework" (which clearly means scrubbing or vacuuming something). Ummm...no. He literally had the entire day before baby free and did one thing. He doesn't get to complain. Needless to say there was an argument. Grrrr. Anyhoo, just wanted to vent.

Re: Just need to vent

  • Ugghh! Men are freaking asses sometimes!  When it comes to caring for a baby I feel like the majority of them miss tge boat in some way. He should probably shut his face about housework. Like yesterday. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    mshukhjarob747
  • jarob747jarob747 member
    edited May 2016
    My DH is an amazing dad and he takes care of LO every time I need him to and lots when he just wants to. He changes diapers, loves to help with baths, Getting dressed, etc, he helps with dishes And housework. However I stayed home the first 3 mo and I EBF still. I work Wed and every other weekend. He watches LO on the EOW I work. Last weekend was his first time and be said he has a new appreciation for me and what I do during the day as it's literally a full time job caring for baby and house and the rest of the family. I told him I felt pretty good about the day as long as nobody has to wear dirty clothes or go hungry and we all survived.  There's been a time or two when he's came home and asked what did you do all day. I could have throat punched him then. Now I bet he'll never say it again lol maybe your DH needs a day all by himself and the baby. 
    OctoberStarsbeharrington
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  • willkcwillkc member
    jarob747 said:
    My DH is an amazing dad and he takes care of LO every time I need him to and lots when he just wants to. He changes diapers, loves to help with baths, Getting dressed, etc, he helps with dishes And housework. However I stayed home the first 3 mo and I EBF still. I work Wed and every other weekend. He watches LO on the EOW I work. Last weekend was his first time and be said he has a new appreciation for me and what I do during the day as it's literally a full time job caring for baby and house and the rest of the family. I told him I felt pretty good about the day as long as nobody has to wear dirty clothes or go hungry and we all survived.  There's been a time or two when he's came home and asked what did you do all day. I could have throat punched him then. Now I bet he'll never say it again lol maybe your DH needs a day all by himself and the baby. 
    I second this.... My husband would often come home when I was on maternity leave and not so subtly hint that it looked like I did nothing all day... I started back to work 2 weeks ago and he is with LO all day until 2 when he goes to the sitter due to my husband working nights, and my husband has a new appreciation for me and has apologized. I do mostly all of the work when I am home in the evenings or on the weekends, but I kinda choose to. In fact I usually take him from my husband just cause I miss the cuddles so much during the week days.
    jarob747
  • After my first day back at work and my SO was home all day, he sent me a text revealing his newfound appreciation for me and all that I do. 
    jarob747
  • I love my husband, and he's wonderful but he's been miserable at work lately and working so much that I try not to give him any slack when he comes home and wants to go upstairs to play on his computer or something. I also am finishing the school year working from home starting a month ago (I'm a cyber teacher). He gets irritated that nothings done in the house or texts asking "what my plan for the day is" whay?! My plan is to try to work and take care of our baby all day, then all night. Well he thinks I'm jist hanging out and it's easy. Last weekend I went out on Friday night for the first time from 9-midnight. I put her down before leaving hoping she'd sleep. Turns out she woke up and "screamed all night the whole time" in his face. I thought maybe he'd think wow babe you do an awesome job, thank you for all that you do and I have had no idea how hard this is for you. But no. He was just more urinated a out all of it saying she's only thay way for him and she only wants me and hates me. Ugh, what a backfire. It's frustrating because he does love her so much and won't mind taking her from me when I ask, but she comes back pretty quickly. I hope he starts to realize this is how things are, and to appreciate the hard work I put in.
  • 4N6s4N6s member
    Communicate! Just hand the baby to him too. Haha
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