Induced Labor or D&E

JustLilOMe · May 2016

Please forgive me if I am posting in the wrong place.

I am sad to find myself here. It was difficult to come to term that my husband and I will have to terminate this pregnancy due congenital diaphragmatic hernia. By the time I end this pregnancy, I should be about 18 weeks. My doctor have given us the option of induced labor or d&e. After hearing details about procedure, I just don't know what to do. Induced labor will take 24-36 hours. I will get to see and hold baby. D&E I will be asleep and it will be over quickly and be home same night. However, I will not see her as I've been told her body will not be in whole. I honestly don't know what to do. Part of me wants this done and over with quickly, yet another part of me want to see her, then again I'm not sure if I can handle it emotionally. I'm scared and heartbroken.

chloe97 · May 2016

Hi there. I am so so sorry this is happening to you. I faced termination at 13 weeks for Triploidy, but because I was so early only offered a D&E. There is a late-term pregnancy loss board that may be better to ask your question because most women on this board have either have had miscarriages due to fetal demise or ectopic pregnancies.

I found the termination for medical reasons board on babycenter to be very helpful when I was looking into next steps after my baby's diagnosis. Unfortunately, The Bump does not have a lot of good resources on the issue.

I do remember reading somewhere that though labor and delivery is physically more traumatizing, being able to see and hold your baby helped tremendously with the grieving process.

Sending hugs your way.

JustLilOMe · May 2016

Thank you@chloe97

thatlauragirl · May 2016

I think it's so different for everyone but I just wanted to tell you that in my case, the D&E was awful and I wish with all my heart I had been able to deliver my son. The procedure itself was easy and the recovery has been okay but emotionally I am destroyed that I never got to see him or hold him. I feel like there was no closure and it is a struggle. Ditto Chloe, check out the TFMR board on babycenter and you may be able to get a lot bigger response. Keeping you in my thoughts during this time.

fiorip · June 2016

First of all, I'm very sorry you have to go through this. It's a very difficult decision and I will tell you there is no wrong choice, it comes down to what is better for you.

I went into labor at 21.6 weeks and my son wasn't viable so he passed right after labor. I didn't hold him, I was stunt and scared and just so utterly shocked from what had happened I wasn't thinking properly. I regret it every day, I wish I could turn back time. Just ask yourself, will you be able to forgive yourself if you don't get to hold your baby? Then decide based on that

JustLilOMe · June 2016

Thank you all for sharing your personal experience and advice. I really appreciate all the support. I feel like I'm still in denial about all this. Idk, I'm just really sad and numb. This feeling of emptiness is just awful.