4 month sleep regression - Page 4 — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

4 month sleep regression

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Re: 4 month sleep regression

  • I'm glad I'm getting it over with now then
  • Either way, the 4th is supposed to be the biggest change for babies, but I have also heard that some had it pretty easy at the 4 month mark and then BAM 8-9 months rolled around and it was AWFUL. 
    Ugh!!!! I'd almost rather get the bad over with now rather than it being awful later. :( 
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  • I'm not really sure if we're regressing or not. LO gave us one glorious week last week where he only woke up once per night for like 5 nights straight... just long enough for us to believe it was the new normal... Then he went back to the way he was before with waking 2-3x per night and needing to feed at least 2 of those times. Ugh.
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  • ashleyandjodyashleyandjody member
    edited June 2016
    @ekscopp Ours started around 14 weeks, but wasn't too drastic and only added one/two extra feedings per night. Naps started to be horrendous though. I actually thought we weren't in a sleep regression because it wasn't awful, but this last week has been rough with 3-4 feedings a night and taking 2 hours to put her down each night. As I type this we've been trying to put her down for 2.5 hours now and she's still awake. On the upside, naps have gotten better.

    ETA about naps 


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  • l4rkl4rk member
    My LO has been able to put herself to sleep at the beginning of the night but then wakes 5-7 times throughout. I then nurse her back to sleep because I can't even. But everything I've read said that being able to fall asleep alone is the key to ending night wakings. Since that definitely hasn't been the case with us, I'm feeling at a loss at what to do next. CIO every time she wakes at night? Ugh, no, please no. Also she still naps in her swing but I can't even think about fixing that too right now.
  • Thanks for all the responses everyone! Makes me
    feel reassured. I've always nursed to sleep unless it seems clear he's not interested. The few times that's happened I've rocked him or he's actually fallen asleep on his own (I'm talking like 3 times ever in his life), so nursing to sleep is what I've just kept on doing. A couple times I tried having DH bounce him or I stuck a soother in (which he never takes) and more often than not those things don't work and it's back on the boob. I'm totally fine with this as he woke frequently before the regression and I fed every time, just now that it's even more times I started to question if I was making a sleep association even worse by feeding every single time. Really though it seems to be what he wants/needs and it gets him back to sleep the fastest/easiest. He's always been around the 75th percentile and always been a frequent eater. Growth spurts have always hit him hard and I've read there's one around this time so it could be another contributing factor.

    I've been trying to just go with the flow the last 24 hrs and it's certainly helped my sanity, not constantly wondering if I should be trying something else or wondering what I'm doing wrong. If he only sleeps 10 minutes and isn't responding to more feeding/rocking then fine, he's up and we move on with our day. If he wakes up 2 or more times at naps when I try to put him down then I just cut my losses and hold him for that nap, etc! Celebrating when he has a 20 minute nap, celebrating any night stretch longer than an hour....trying to look at the positives. 

    All our "transitions" are complete now (he's been in a sleep sack for almost a week, 2 nights in his crib and last night was more his "normal" than the first night so we'll keep on with that), so I'm going to keep things as they are and press on for a few weeks before deciding if we need to look at other things like light sleep training - try to wait the regression out. I think we've been in it for about a month, with each week getting worse.

    All in all it helps to feel more sane knowing I'm not alone in this shit storm, I'm not failing, and I'm probably not doing anything "wrong", we're all just hanging in there! 
    l4rkjodiedrich18SDaniels19SBH041815
  • klbhklbh member
    @fishee333 we're on the morning of day four of the new regime (me sleeping in the guest room so I don't leap up at his every grumble, giving LO five minutes at a time to practice self-soothing when we put him down at bedtime, and focusing on feeding more during the day), and it's mostly going great. Once he conks out (see below), he's been sleeping deeply through to his dreamfeed at 10/10:30, then until about 3/4 when he fusses a tiny bit and SO gives him a pat and a pacifier, and again until about 5:30/6, when the two of them come in for coffee (grown-ups) and breakfast (kiddo). So, I've slept seven hours each of the past few nights and can actually function again (i.e., I'm spending my whole day today correcting work that I did in my previous sleep-deprived haze, sigh). Also, and this is huge: he has gone down for all of his naps like a freakin' angel. Seriously, we see him get sleepy, pick him up, rock him in our arms for thirty seconds, put him in his crib drowsy, and he is asleep within two minutes after maybe fifteen seconds of whining, max. 

    Bedtime is, I won't lie, a bit of a struggle; each of the past three nights, LO has taken three of his five-minute intervals to fall asleep and has gotten fairly worked up during that time. It's honestly a bit rough to observe, and I've been second-guessing a bit whether he's old enough to self-soothe effectively. However, bedtimes were also rough before--about 45 minutes of patting/shushing in our arms, with us continually thinking he was ready to be put down and then him getting wound up again. I don't know that he actually spends much more time at bedtime upset than he did before, and he is SO HAPPY all day long. No struggles for naps, just laughing and smiling and zooming around getting stuck underneath the chairs next to his play mat. He wakes up for the morning with a huge grin on his face. And once he does go down for the night, he hasn't been waking up 45 minutes later like he would if I nursed him to sleep. We can eat dinner and read/talk/watch TV like effing grownups, and it is glorious. 

    We decided to stick with the new regime consistently for one week and see how it goes for him. If he's not fussing less at bedtime by the end of that, we'll revisit and see what we can do to soothe him more at night. But I just hope this continues. Please don't be faking me out, little guy! 
    fishee333
  • l4rk said:
    My LO has been able to put herself to sleep at the beginning of the night but then wakes 5-7 times throughout. I then nurse her back to sleep because I can't even. But everything I've read said that being able to fall asleep alone is the key to ending night wakings. Since that definitely hasn't been the case with us, I'm feeling at a loss at what to do next. CIO every time she wakes at night? Ugh, no, please no. Also she still naps in her swing but I can't even think about fixing that too right now.
    I was in the same situation as you, and finally decided to hire a sleep consultant. We had to do elimination CIO, I am on day 7 and it has changed our lives. It was so hard to make the final decision even though I knew it was our only option. Our baby had never soothed herself to sleep and purple cried every night prior to me nursing her to sleep. All. Night. Long. The first two nights for us sucked balls, and the first four days of naps were tough. Now I am screaming from the roof tops how awesome it has been for both us and baby. She is so much more rested and calm I can't even believe it. 
    l4rk
  • @Krisdee123 how did you go about hiring a sleep consultant? I would love the results you have!
  • ekscopp said:
    @Krisdee123 how did you go about hiring a sleep consultant? I would love the results you have!
    Honestly, I just asked around my local network of friends/colleagues and one particular lady's name  kept coming up. 
  • kvacmak said:
    I'm not really sure if we're regressing or not. LO gave us one glorious week last week where he only woke up once per night for like 5 nights straight... just long enough for us to believe it was the new normal... Then he went back to the way he was before with waking 2-3x per night and needing to feed at least 2 of those times. Ugh.
    Ok no more wondering, we're officially in the thick of it. LO was up every 2 hours last night, and not interested in feeding just wanting to play. I tried just leaving him cooing in his crib but the coos would eventually turn to fussing then crying. Decided to see if he would settle without feeding, so I'd pop is soother in and rock him for 5 minutes and he'd conk out. So he did make it through the 12 hours with only one feed (probably could have even gone without that one, but my boobs were going to explode!) but I was still up every 2 hours... Oh well sounds like I'm better off than a lot of you ladies so I'll take it!!
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  • This sleep regression has been so strange and all over the map, I feel like I can't adjust, since it's so unpredictable.  The last two nights it has been *hellish* getting LO to sleep.  We're trying to wean her off of all of her terrible nap habits, and we're starting with making sure she doesn't need a bottle to fall asleep.  It's been mostly fine during the day, as long as we get her down for a nap before she's overtired, but at night she just freaks out.  She will scream and I mean SCREAM, cry, choke, turn purple, until I have to either, put her in the crib (at which point she immediately calms down but is wiiiiide awake and won't sleep) or, I give her a sip or two of a bottle in my arms and she's out like a light.  Sigh.  I don't know if I should just keep up the no bottle thing during the day and then revisit the nighttime bottle in a week or so, or if I should keep trying.  

    I also don't know if I should keep letting her sleep on me for all of her day naps until we've weaned her off of the bottles, or just try to tackle both problems at once.  The problem with transferring her to the crib is, unless it's at night AND she's been rocked for 20 min to an hour, she wakes right back up.  I'd like to think if she got in the habit of sleeping in the crib she would self regulate and lengthen her naps, but I'm terrified that if she doesn't, our nighttime sleep would be even worse than it is now.  :/  I feel so conflicted about what steps to take and when!
  • @maureenmce That sounds so hard!!! We chose to do one transition at a time: in our case, first out of the rock and play, then into his own room, then not nursing to sleep. So on the one hand, having had success that way I'm inclined to endorse it. On the other hand, maybe by stretching out the transition you're also stretching out the learning that she needs to do. I see the dilemma for sure. My only thought is that since you have several steps in the process, maybe let her have her two bottle sips for now while you work on something else, then come back to that in a week or two (I noticed a huge difference in that time in how my son responded to having his arms unswaddled, so it can help!). But mostly I just want to say good luck and I hope baby gets with the program soon for you :)
  • l4rkl4rk member
    Thank you, @Krisdee123! I am going to look up elimination CIO right now... I have basically already accepted that we are going to need some form of CIO to move forward. Mostly just procrastinating and trying to figure out the timing at this point.
    Krisdee123
  • Has anyone made it out of the regression?? Were still going strong.. She learned to roll over yesterday so I'm hoping that maybe this was something she had to do before her mind settled. But last night waa just like the rest. Come onn. End pleaseee. 
  • nackienackie member
    I thought we might be since he had three night in a row where he slept for more than 4 hours straight, but last night was terrible again, so maybe not.  :(
  • Dare I say I think last week we hit rock bottom and now we're SLOWLY getting a bit better. The last few nights I got at least 1 3hr stretch and almost all his crib transfers were successful. We even had some slightly longer naps. Overall it's still terrible, but I'll take any improvement I can get!
  • KFrobKFrob member
    What I think was the four month sleep regression happened more at the end of three months/beginning of four months. LO has always been a good sleeper but she started to wake 1 or 2 times a night. During month four we transitioned out of the swaddle, out of the bassinet, and no more MOTN feeding. Since we made those changes she sleeps so much better. I think the space of the crib where she can stretch out and roll to sleep on her tummy has been key. As well as not having us right there to wake her. Other people's posts about people they know who pretty much skipped the four month regression having a really hellish time with the eight month have me dreading it already! 
  • After about4 or 5 weeks, I think we are getting out of it! I haven't changed anything, and she went from waking every 30 minutes to 2 days of a 5 hour stretch, which is more than she has ever done! Last night she was up every 1 or 2 hours, but I think that's because her sleeping and eating schedule got way off yesterday during the day, thank you DH. Still better than 30 minutes. Naps are even getting better! I'm starting to consider sleep training of some sort though because I think LO has a bad binky habit, and I really want LO to be able to self soothe better without needing us to put her binky back in. I'm just waiting for her to definitely be out of this regression before changing anything on her. 
    cali1710
  • nackienackie member
    @fishee333 we have the opposite problem with the binky.  DS can't fall asleep without sucking on something, but refuses a pacifier.  So that leaves the boobies.
    fishee333
  • @mamadcb - Thanks for the good luck!  I will need it.  LO is... not improving.  I got my official start date for my job, 6 weeks from now, so I have to at least get naps in order by then.  My goal is that I'm going to try to replicate the daycare nap set up (darkened room, crib, soft music playing) and have her used to that.  Now, how the heck I'm going to get to that goal I have no idea!


  • @maureenmce work on fixing the first nap first then once that goal is reached, move on to the second nap. For us, (and admittedly I have a unicorn compared to some of your poor sleepers) making sure that first nap is good tends to set the tone for the rest of the day. It seems like you want to change 3 crutches (bottle, rocked, held to sleep) so just pick one of the crutches and work on getting rid of it in a week. Then, pick the second crunch and work on that the following week. You have plenty of time to work on naps before your LO starts daycare! Just make a plan and stick to it :) 
    KMH16maureenmce
  • @012016 - Thanks for the advice!  :)  Yeah, I agree that I have to go one at a time.  I tried to do more than one crutch at a time today and it was a disaster!  Lol.  Back to the drawing board tomorrow and going to spend the rest of this week just weaning off of the bottle.  (Slowly!)
    Becky012016
  • nackienackie member
    @maureenmce our DS naps way better at daycare than he does for us.  We've taken to trying to replicate what they do (with no luck.) He almost never naps in his crib at home and will frequently take hour plus naps for them.  So even if you don't get your LO napping better, you might be fine.  I hope you do though
  • Just when I thought this regression was getting better... Bam it gets worse. So bad last night. I don't get it. I'm starting to lose my mind. 
  • cali1710 said:
    Just when I thought this regression was getting better... Bam it gets worse. So bad last night. I don't get it. I'm starting to lose my mind. 
    Same! He went back to his normal sleep schedule for like a week. Then bam! Three nights of hell. At least last night was good. Definitely not holding my breath for tonight though...
  • Cricket99 said:
    cali1710 said:
    Just when I thought this regression was getting better... Bam it gets worse. So bad last night. I don't get it. I'm starting to lose my mind. 
    Same! He went back to his normal sleep schedule for like a week. Then bam! Three nights of hell. At least last night was good. Definitely not holding my breath for tonight though...
    She isn't back to normal but a few nights ago she slept from 6-10pm then midnight to 730 which was a good stretch. Then yesterday gave me three 1.5 hr naps! So I was pumped that things were looking up. And then my bubble burst. I need to ask, how are you all keeping your sanity through the night? The last week Ive just ran out of patience and I feel like a horrible mom because I get so frustrated with her but I'm just so tired. DH is sick so I get up with her because the last thing we need is her getting sick again. I try to keep cool but after 2 hours of trying to get her asleep I'm loosing my mind.
  • nackienackie member
    Last night DS slept from 7-2:30.  Dare I hope?
    klbh
  • Our guy also slept slightly better last night. 7:30-2:00.  Please, please, please let this not be a fluke.




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    cali1710
  • l4rkl4rk member
    I finally caved last night and bought a sleep consultation package from babysleepsite.com.  It was actually a sleep deprived accident--I was trying to see what the cost would be on paypal after currency conversion and accidentally paid. But then I figured it was serendipity and went with it. Just waiting the few days until we get the sleep plan. I will keep y'all updated on how it goes...
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  • I have the wonder weeks app. It says today is the last day of her leap. Dare I dream that this means the last day of her bad sleeping? Slim chance but a girl can hope, right?
  • @l4rk awesome, I almost bought that too! Please let us know how it goes.

    @cali1710 I had been counting down the days on my app too, and it seriously started to get better the day it said she was out of her leap. Good luck to you!
    l4rk
  • @cali1710 I think the only way to keep my sanity was to just keep going... There was nothing else I could do because I've been on my own for the last 3 weeks. Hubby is gone for 6 weeks. Last night though LO slept from 6:30 to 5:45 with a dream feed at 10. I was absolutely shocked! I'm cautiously hopeful, but not holding my breath for tonight!
    cali1710
  • Cricket99 said:
    @cali1710 I think the only way to keep my sanity was to just keep going... There was nothing else I could do because I've been on my own for the last 3 weeks. Hubby is gone for 6 weeks. Last night though LO slept from 6:30 to 5:45 with a dream feed at 10. I was absolutely shocked! I'm cautiously hopeful, but not holding my breath for tonight!
    Thats amazing! Fingers crossed for you!!
  • cali1710cali1710 member
    edited June 2016
    @Cricket99 did you change anything or start sleep training or it just happened? My Lo has had really good naps the last 3 days. 3 x hour and a half naps each day! Not sure it its because shes tired from less sleep at night or if this is a new trend! Id prefer my nights back but Ill take what I can get. Today is day 1 out of leap 4 so I'm hoping it gets better 
  • @cali1710 and @Cricket99 are you feeding or rocking to sleep or is baby falling asleep on their own? Curious if this phase will pass while I still nurse/Rock to sleep or if that has to change.
  • cali1710cali1710 member
    edited June 2016
    I still rock to sleep. Ive moved feeding to the beginning of the routine (bath, feed, read, rock) and it hasnt made a difference. She wont go to sleep on her own and I don't think shes mentally ready for sleep training yet. Ive read such contradicting reports. Some say its a phase and it will pass. Some say things need to change. My friends lasted 2 weeks and she didnt really change much. So who knows 
    EmmyMommy123
  • @cali1710 I hope that it does get better for you, but don't get too comfortable.  Leap 5 warns that some of the signs of entering the leap are; sleeping less, worse, and eating less. Some of the moms on the Dec FB group I am apart of, have said the 5th leap is worse than the 4 month sleep regression. 

  • @teachmegs817 oh god I hope not. I'm pretty sure I spoke too soon anyways. We're on hour 3 of trying to get her to bed. Fml. 
  • @cali1710 I didn't change anything. He just kind of sets his own schedule. I have tried not to stress out about his sleeping habits and just go with the flow. He tends to change his sleep habits exactly according to what Wonder Weeks says. It's actually kind of creepy. We are just coming out of the 4th leap.

    @EmmyMommy123 I still feed him right before bed. Sometimes he will fall dead asleep while eating and I just plop him in his crib and he will wiggle around onto his stomach and get comfy. Sometimes he will be drowsy and I give him a kiss, say, "Mommy loves you" and plop him down and he will talk himself to sleep. And sometimes he will wake up within the first 45 minutes of putting him down and I will go up and rock him for another couple of minutes. I can usually tell within the first minute or so of him crying if he's going to cry himself back to sleep or get really ramped up. If he's just whining he will usually go back to sleep within 5 minutes.

    Sorry, that was kind of a novel... :p
    EmmyMommy123fishee333
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