For my first it was just my DH. My parents were in the waiting room but it was about 2 hours after baby was born before they were asked to come in. I love my parents and I love my in-laws but I really wanted that time after the birth for my husband and I to bond with our son and have some relaxing time after labor. We had prepped everyone beforehand that it was just going to be us in there but if they wanted to wait in the waiting room that was there prerogative. I was fortunate to be present at the birth of 2 of my nephews and I know my sister would like to be present but it's just not me. She is ok with this as for her 3rd it was just her and her husband and so she gets it. My mom would like to be there but understands it's a preference thing. Our reasoning wasn't even for privacy, it was more for focus and relaxation. We opted for a natural delivery and didn't want anyone else there distracting me. I know just having someone else in the room, even if they were sitting quietly in the corner would have distracted me. It was the last time that it was just my husband and I and it was very special for us to have that time together (even though I was in labor). We will be planning on the same for this delivery.
I definitely will only be having my husband in the room and my mother. I don't mind my father or MIL or FIL stopping in before the actual labor starts but once my goods are out for the world to see.... everyone OUT!
My DH will be there and I WANT my mom to be there I just don't know if she SHOULD be there. She had 6 kids herself and has attended quite a few of her grandchildren's births so she would be great to have. However, DH and my mom don't share space very well - I should say my mom doesn't share space with men very well (love you, mom). I might ask my mom to be at the birthing center just not in the room. That way I can ask for her at any moment.
Just me and my husband. Last time I was ok with my MiL being there if she wanted, but when she came she brought her friend and her friends husband and they got there right as everything was out in plain sight. There was a lot of yelling to get the F out of there from me, so this time I think I'll just save me the stress.
Just me and my husband. Last time I was ok with my MiL being there if she wanted, but when she came she brought her friend and her friends husband and they got there right as everything was out in plain sight. There was a lot of yelling to get the F out of there from me, so this time I think I'll just save me the stress.
Why on EARTH would she think that's OK???? Ugh that's horrible.
Just me and my husband. Last time I was ok with my MiL being there if she wanted, but when she came she brought her friend and her friends husband and they got there right as everything was out in plain sight. There was a lot of yelling to get the F out of there from me, so this time I think I'll just save me the stress.
Why on EARTH would she think that's OK???? Ugh that's horrible.
I have no clue. She is older and there are a few loose noddles in there; I honestly don't think it even crossed her mind that it was not the best idea.
Last time it was DH, my mom and grandma. It will probably be the same this time. I have a great relationship with my MIL, but she made it known with DS that she didn't want to be in the room, so she was in the waiting room with my FIL. I'm also really close with my stepmom and might tell her if she would like she can be in the room.
This time I will ask that less people be in the waiting room. Last time there were the grandparents and my brothers which was fine. There was also my aunt and some cousins and family friends, and it was all overwhelming. The time with baby after is so important, I really want to cherish that.
If my older sister really wants I might consider her too but I'm not sure... She's super supportive but also a little needy, but has no kids and probably won't and if it means a lot to her... TBD
I know I've already posted, but I actually had the conversation with DH concerning this and we've pretty much settled on just me and DH (and the doctors of course), but having the nurses on standbye in case I need my mom. I told him I just want the option of having her there and he agreed.
Just my husband. I'm due on the weekend of my sister's wedding (it's the one thing making me sad about this pregnancy) so my entire family will be in a different state anyway. My mother in law might come to town to help with the baby at the beginning, but if she's here when the baby is actually being born I'd rather not have her in the room. I love her very dearly, but she's an extremely anxious person and would inadvertently add a lot of stress to the situation.
@MaryNog that is really unfortunate timing. You'll get to do some impressive show and tell sessions afterwards though from both sides
Ugh, I know...my sister is wonderful and we are very close, am really hoping she won't be upset when we get around to telling family. Maybe we'll have a big family Skype session once both events are over
I think it's crazy that this even needs to be a discussion in so many families. If I want you there, I'll let you know. Otherwise assume I don't want you to see EVERYTHING. Birth is not pretty and embarrassing gross things happen. My husband and my mom were there for my son. No need to start a family reunion!
Hey guys!! I thought I'd pipe in on this topic as I have personally looked into formally banning my MIL from the hospital. We are estranged from her but she called and harassed us with our DD and with our second she threatened to "just show up". Our hospital policy is that to formally ban someone you have to be admitted anonymously. Therefore no one can get ahold lf you visit etc. not just the one person.
I'm thinking H and possibly my mom. I kind of want it to be just the two of us for the experience. But it might be those moments when I really want my mommy... ya know. I'm leaving it open and if I want my mom to leave she will without any drama. She's awesome like that
FYI ladies, it's a HIPAA violation if someone is able to waltz into your room without your express consent. Be sure to ask about security when going on tours of hospitals so you know what their guest procedures are. Sorry to say, when you fill out the paperwork for birth plan, it typically isn't read by anyone except your OB and your nurse.
As far as who can come in the delivery room, I definitely want my mom and husband there. If the visitor policy allows, I'll let my MIL and best friends in. If someone in our family really, really wants in I'll consider it. I've seen enough births and I'm not particularly shy. My swollen labia will not look any more or less glamorous than anyone else's. If we end up having to have a c/s, I'll have my husband as the support person. My mom has scrubbed and circulated during too many c/s's and I'm worried she'd be too busy ensuring sterile technique to distract me from the sounds and smells when I can't see.
My first was born via C-section due to complications, and before we went in I told my mom that I DO NOT want anyone at that hospital until I say so...My MIL kept showing up at my mom's house saying maybe we should go up there and see...My mom knows me well...she knows heads would have rolled if they showed up! She said DO NOT go to the hospital til you get the call to go! I would have been devastated after going through all that labor then C-section to not be the first one to hold my precious baby (other than daddy of course . This time around it will be planned day and time! Just my hubby then he will get our son so we can have the time to introduce big brother and let him have his moments! THEN if I feel up for it we will let people come in little groups at a time. My mother will be allowed anytime she wants though since she is my MOM ...she deserves to be able to take care of her daughter. I don't feel bad at all about saying that either. It's our body, should be our choice for the most part.
Re: Who will be in the delivery room with you?
BFP 2/3/16 --> MC 2/13/16
I have to wait until the last minute to tell my mother I'm in labor otherwise she'd force her way into the room.
DD2: 9.22.06
DS1: Born too soon, 19w3d 1.28.14
DS2: 3.5.15
This time I will ask that less people be in the waiting room. Last time there were the grandparents and my brothers which was fine. There was also my aunt and some cousins and family friends, and it was all overwhelming. The time with baby after is so important, I really want to cherish that.
If my older sister really wants I might consider her too but I'm not sure... She's super supportive but also a little needy, but has no kids and probably won't and if it means a lot to her... TBD
lf you visit etc. not just the one person.
DS Born: 6/02/2012
Tied the Knot: 11/14/2015
Trying for Number Two since 9/1/15
BFP!!! Baby 2 Due: 12/6/21
As far as who can come in the delivery room, I definitely want my mom and husband there. If the visitor policy allows, I'll let my MIL and best friends in. If someone in our family really, really wants in I'll consider it. I've seen enough births and I'm not particularly shy. My swollen labia will not look any more or less glamorous than anyone else's. If we end up having to have a c/s, I'll have my husband as the support person. My mom has scrubbed and circulated during too many c/s's and I'm worried she'd be too busy ensuring sterile technique to distract me from the sounds and smells when I can't see.