October 2016 Moms

FFFC (May 27)

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Re: FFFC (May 27)

  • I walked past a woman who was clearly very pregnant smoking outside Kroger the other day. And I swear I'm not a judgy person, but I did judge her, very heartily. It would be one thing if a person could be uneducated in this day and age about the harmful effects of smoking on your own self AND the harmful effects of second-hand smoke for your kids, not to mention what it might do to your unborn baby, but the fact is, there's no way a normal person who doesn't live under a rock could think smoking was okay while pregnant or around kids. 
    It's not a "oh I had a sip of wine twice while I was pregnant" or a "shhh don't tell but I haven't religiously taken my vitamins" kind of thing. It's serious. 
    @AllyTheKid I hope you were just trying to get a rise out of people and weren't actually serious. 
  • bnsmith85 said:
    don't lie... we all know you're feisty lol j/k :)
    ...well, when pressed o:)

    I am a ginger, after all! 
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  • ingoscjingoscj member
    Ok. Quit smoking, use sunscreen, and don't leave kids I the car. We had an amber alert last week because someone stole a car with a kid in it. And another lady was arrested for leaving her grandchild in the car while she ran into the store. It's not cool. Dangerous shit can happen. 

    Fffc: binge watching tv is way better than cleaning the house or any other adulting. Thankfully my parents have my 1 year old for the weekend since I work, so responsibility be damned! 
  • emmaaa said:
    I thought of another, I have maybe put sunscreen on my kids once a year. I'm terrible I know, but they're outside so much that they just tan and never burn. Our summers are mega short here though, if I lived in Hawaii maybe it would be different. 
    Just because there isn't sunburn present doesn't mean skin cancer can't develop. In my husband's industry (golf course maintenance), many of the superintendent's like him are super tan but I'm sure the majority of them have had skin cancer removed. 
    No no trust me I almost live at the North Pole, I kid you not. If I actually lived somewhere hot I would worry, but here defiantly not. 
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  • mrszoess said:
    -i love Brazilian waxes every 4 weeks, if someone looking at your vag is going to be weird just wait until you're giving birth and 900 medical people are around 

    -smoking isn't cool. it's less cool and downright sad to smoke when you're knowingly pregnant. your baby can't defend itself. 

    -your kids can "know" how to behave in a running car but it doesn't prevent tragedies. 

    -spray sunscreen is the best 

    -and MY fffc? I have had 2 donuts in 24 hours solely bc I know my lil mama dances in my belly after the sugar and I wanted to feel it again :) 
    Re: the donuts--I've done that a few times over the last couple weeks with leftover gender reveal cake (that was the first time I felt her!) and strawberries :wink: We can bring our sugary goodness to preggo jail together!
  • @mrszoess - I've been having a small sugary treat everyday just to get mine moving, too!

    Also, spray sunscreen suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. I've had several splotchy sunburns from it. This ginger skin gets Banana Boat Sport Lotion, SPF 30 exclusively! 
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  • emmaaaemmaaa member
    @CopperBoom86  I have a very specific sunscreen regimen. I put on sunscreen lotion (SPF 30) before going on the beach or whatever. I HATE sand and especially on my skin. Once I'm on the beach, I use the spray kind but do multiple passes to make sure I'm covered. Then I reapply every hour.
    DH: 29 | Me: 29 
    Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
    TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
    DD: 10/5/16
    TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
    DS: 1/9/19
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  • I don't even understand how anyone is tempted to smoke. To me it's like someone saying they can't stop sniffing dog poop. I mean, why would you even? So it's very hard for me to understand there being any pull at all.

    I'm not even sure what the rules on sunscreen are. I live in Texas, but barely go outside. When I was little, we NEVER wore sunscreen to play outside at home. Sunscreen was for going to the pool or the beach or a theme park or something where we'd be out a long time. 

    I would be thinking, say, a walk around the neighborhood = no sunscreen, a day at the zoo = sunscreen, etc. Someone correct me if I'm mistaken.

    and @mrscorker I do that, too. No radio, just tv shows. I have decided it's good for the baby and will help them learn to talk faster ;-) Obviously, I'll be a little more considerate of the baby when it's out, but I can't imagine it having any kind of ill effect while it's in (especially given that it's not loud or anything). 


  • Sunscreen might not actually block the absorption of vitamin D, especially the way most people apply it: https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/713721

    That said, 10 minutes a day in the sun without sunscreen is probably not going to cause skin cancer and has long been recommended for vitamin D production.  If you're going to be outside for more than that, especially in direct sunlight and especially from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., you should be using sunscreen. 

  • @emmaaa - Maybe I just suck at applying it lol. 

    @RainMira9e - I'm with you on not understanding the draw of cigarettes. I mean, I know they're addictive, so I get that it's hard to quit after you start, but what makes people want to start in the first place?? I'm 30 years old and I've never once had the desire to smoke. A few of my friends did when I was in high school and the rancid smell plus the fact that it will give you emphysema, COPD, lung cancer, etc was enough for me to never want to take a single puff. 
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  • emmaaaemmaaa member
    @CooperBoom86 HAHA! Like I said, I coat myself with it and reapply a lot. 

    DH: 29 | Me: 29 
    Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
    TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
    DD: 10/5/16
    TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
    DS: 1/9/19
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  • I smoked for 16 years. it's hard and I tried to quit many times but why I was able to quit for good was because we were ttc. so really if you are stable enough you CAN make it happen. 
  • emmaaaemmaaa member
    I'm just really glad that I never tried smoking. I have never even tried a cigarette. I'm afraid I would like it and want to do it regularly and not quit. DH dipped tobacco since he was 14 but quit on his 25th birthday about 5 months ago and I know it was really hard for him.

    Another confession is that I like the smell of secondhand smoke if I'm drinking (before being KU). D says that's like people who only smoke when they drink except I only like the smell when I drink if that makes sense.
    DH: 29 | Me: 29 
    Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
    TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
    DD: 10/5/16
    TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
    DS: 1/9/19
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  • I fell into the habit because I was around it a lot, was young, didn't care about the consequences, etc. it then became a stress relief, habit, addiction, and excitement. Something I looked forward to - smoking when I got in the car, taking a smoke break at work, etc. can't speak for anyone else, but I definitely regret starting because quitting IS really hard and sometimes takes multiple tries to get done. My SO has tried a few times to quit, and none have been successful no matter the method (chantix, bribery, lol). The only thing I have truly been addicted to and addiction is a tricky thing to overcome sometimes, and it's different for everyone. Also hard to explain to someone who has never smoked or who has never been a heavy smoker. Like I said earlier though, the theory and thought of never smoking and just doing away with it is nice, just not always simple. :)
  • @sjo&thetwins - I apologize if my post came off as judgey. I definitely didn't mean it that way. We all have our vices. Hell, I grossly overate for 4 years and gained nearly 100 pounds! That can certainly be just as detrimental to one's health as smoking.

    I know quitting is really hard. I've watched several friends struggle with it repeatedly. I think I don't understand it because I've never really been addicted to anything, even food. I guess I'm just blessed not to have fallen into anything super addictive and/or not to have an "addictive personality."  
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  • I think that everyone has weaknesses and we are all human.  I don't drink or smoke during pregnancy, but I've let my eating get out of control and gained to much weight early on which could increase my chances of developing GD or preeclampsia, but if I posted about bingeing on food  or something I don't  think I would be flamed like this. Food is my weakness and cigarettes were hers. She's not smoking every day and had a moment of human weakness and owns it.  I just think people are really quick to judge,  but in reality, no one is perfect. 
  • @CopperBoom86 I definitely didn't think you were being judgy! Just hoped to shine a little BTDT light on the situation for people who have never been addicted to it, or assume it's easy just because it is bad.  I certainly don't condone smoking during pregnancy, and I too have had my faults with it, but acknowledging that it is wrong and trying to do your best with doing away with it is the best start to have. No judgements here! Unless you are harming me, I have no say in what you do. :) 
  • @sjo&thetwins It is hard, but I know I can do better than this. It was awful, they were just RIGHT THERE, and DS was at summer school or else he would have hid them if he saw them first. He's 9, but he's my 'quit coach' and he means business. Regardless, there is no excuse for it. Kudos to YOU for doing such a great job! 

    @katlarissa I wouldn't admit to something that is definitely wrong to try to get a rise out of people. That just doesn't make much sense. I did what I did, expected what I've recieved, and I'm not trying to make it sound acceptable.

    @mrszoess First of all, congratulations to you for quitting and staying quit. I do admire you for that, and I know it can happen. I've made it happen before for a while... Then I slipped. No excuses, but it happened. I'm also aware that tragedy can strike at any time, and I'm not trying to justify that either.

    As far as why anybody starts smoking, I don't know. Why does anybody start drinking coffee? I still think it tastes like crap to this day and can hardly force myself to drink it (not comparing coffee to cigarettes, for reference). Why does anybody initially try any hard drug and then become addicted? I wouldn't do that either, I don't see the appeal at all. But for some with anything, they just do for whatever reason, and before long it's a habit at best and an addiction at its worst.


  • NoraAuroraNoraAurora member
    edited May 2016
    ingoscj said:
    Ok. Quit smoking, use sunscreen, and don't leave kids I the car. We had an amber alert last week because someone stole a car with a kid in it. And another lady was arrested for leaving her grandchild in the car while she ran into the store. It's not cool. Dangerous shit can happen. 

    Fffc: binge watching tv is way better than cleaning the house or any other adulting. Thankfully my parents have my 1 year old for the weekend since I work, so responsibility be damned! 
    Ya'll are so cute. The "drama" lasted like all of 5 seconds.

    OK the bolded above seems so super crazy to me. I fully agree that you should be able to leave the kid in the car for like a minute while you go run in to pay for gas or something simple. To me the fact that someone calls the police and arrests a lady is pretty much the ultimate example of the helicopter parenting generation we live in right now and it makes me sad. I remember countless trips being left in my mom's car (in the summer! no AC running! que horror). That said, USE YOUR D*MN BRAIN obviously and if you live in a high crime area, your kids are super young, you can't see your car at all times, you could be gone more than 2 minutes, it's a billion degrees or freezing outside, etc *just don't do it* and deal with the realities of parenthood like the rest of us. I think this issue is a very regional/cultural one. AND YES there will always be the risk that *even if* all conditions are perfect, some nut job will be in town, see your car and decide to steal it even though it's never happened ever ever ever in the history of your dinky ass small town. There's also a risk that an airplane can crash into your home while your family is all in bed sleeping at night. Act accordingly & use sense.

    Sunscreen - again, use sense. Someone mentioned checking EWG ratings. Personally since I discovered EWG, I check all the skin care products I use on my kid before buying/applying it. USE IT, it's great. There are some fantastic sun screens on there - the best are physical (ie: non-nano zinc and titanium). There also exists a great spray screen from Acure. SO EASY there is no good reason not to use it. Do I apply sunscreen to my 1.5 year old daily before I dare step outside to put him in his carseat to go grocery shopping and come straight back home? No. I don't. You can argue this if you feel so super inclined, but to me it doesn't make enough sense.

    Smoking: it's really hard to quit. Idk if anyone has told you guys, but it's pretty much one of the most addictive substances on the planet. Obviously, that doesn't mean you shouldn't give it your god-d*mnedest. Particularly when KU.
    Here's why: you are depriving your baby of oxygen and nutrients. You are increasing your risk of premature birth, low birth weight, still birth and SIDs. You are possibly changing the actual umbilical cord irreversibly so that it can no longer be an effective means of oxygen and waste transport. You are increasing the chance that your child will have breathing and feeding problems once born. You are increasing the chance your child will have asthma. Check out status asthmaticus, it's a really really bad thing. And we won't start in on second hand smoke's effect on the kids you have. I have a different perspective on addiction than do most people, and I'm not even gonna flame you about it - just please do whatever you can to quit. @allythekid I know you can find some people to support you with this. 
  • ingoscjingoscj member
    @NoraAurora the toddler left in the car was unresponsive because of the heat. The cop that busted the window open to save him was able to revive him and get him to a hospital for treatment. It's not a matter of being a helicopter parent, it's a matter of not being an asshole and putting your kid at risk. 
  • NoraAuroraNoraAurora member
    edited May 2016
    ingoscj said:
    @NoraAurora the toddler left in the car was unresponsive because of the heat. The cop that busted the window open to save him was able to revive him and get him to a hospital for treatment. It's not a matter of being a helicopter parent, it's a matter of not being an asshole and putting your kid at risk. 
    clearly that lady was an asshole, as you say. I did address this scenario however, as well as several others. As I said, use sense when you do things. 
    ETA: when I originally quoted your post, you did not include the above detail.
  • Sunscreen. I'm one of those crazy moms with like spf 90+ and reapply like every hour even when it's not hot or sunny. Only time I don't put sunscreen on my kids is if me and the kids are wearing jackets or raining/snowing weather. I actually screamed at my sil 3 years ago for not using sunscreen often enough on my nephews she applied once the whole time she was at the amusement park and the one had blisters on his face for it. My husband's whole family has olive skin and tan, but they all are with fair skinned people so all the kids have fair skin too. 

    I'm one of those mom's that's tv is always on except in my kids room at night time unless they have a nightmare. Though I personally have a hard time sleeping without tv.

     I'm also a extreme helicopter parent as my husband would say. His family is not allowed to watch our kids at all since they like to hit first find out what happened later. My sister isn't allowed to watch my kids either since she complains about every thing they do constantly though she sees them maybe twice a year maybe. 

    I'm also the kind of mom that let's her kids have up to one cup of soda a day it's always caffeine free, but they can ask for it. If they have a stomach flu I let them drink caffeine free coke and Gatorade equally. 

    I also let my three and two years old get their own snacks out of the refrigerator and the pantry. They know how to get anything they want. 
  • @bnsmith85

    Here's the link I forgot to add to my other post. You asked about screen time guidelines 

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/pediatricians-rethink-screen-time-policy-for-children-1444671636

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  • My FFFC is that I have a schoolgirl crush on a cute singer/songwriter I work with. My husband and I went to see him play last night and in the middle of the concert he dedicated one of his songs to me (because he's really appreciative of the work we do together). It took everything in me not to melt into a puddle of mush. Now, between my teenage self's very explicit thoughts and all the pregnancy hormones I feel guilty. But I haven't done anything wrong! 
  • Well, I'm already buckled in tight after reading all these other posts, so here's my wild confession: my lunch today consisted solely of a large frozen strawberry lemonade with nerds candy, and a side of prenatals. Flame away! :tongue: 
    I had a cream soda squishy today with my lunch! It was the most awesome thing EVER!
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  • @mrszoess - I've been having a small sugary treat everyday just to get mine moving, too!

    Also, spray sunscreen suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. I've had several splotchy sunburns from it. This ginger skin gets Banana Boat Sport Lotion, SPF 30 exclusively! 
    Did you hear some Banana Boat Sunscreens are being recalled because people are catching on fire after use?? Maybe it's just the ones in Canada but saw a news article about it.
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  • I don't understand what's wrong with special snowflake posts. We all have concerns/frustrations about our pregnancy and I think this is the right place to be discussing them. And it doesn't bother me at all when people ask questions that have already been answered. If you don't want to participate in a thread then don't, it will die quickly, but don't get your panties in a bunch or make condescending comments about how we've already been over a topic. I've been on the bump for six years with one screen name or another and I just don't understand people's attitudes on this. 

  • the issue is if every single one of us posted special snowflake on the same stuff the more relevant info would be lost pages and pages back. I exclusively mobile bump and it's really annoying to scroll pages when everyone can talk about symptoms in one searchable thread.


    people can get their info and ask as many questions as they want but there needs to be order of some type. 
  • I don't understand what's wrong with special snowflake posts. We all have concerns/frustrations about our pregnancy and I think this is the right place to be discussing them. And it doesn't bother me at all when people ask questions that have already been answered. If you don't want to participate in a thread then don't, it will die quickly, but don't get your panties in a bunch or make condescending comments about how we've already been over a topic. I've been on the bump for six years with one screen name or another and I just don't understand people's attitudes on this. 
    I think this BMB is relatively tame when it comes to this. Most people usually respond by answering or point the person towards an existing and helpful thread. It's when people get pissed about answers they don't want and start calling names that the claws come out. 

    E will be 18 on July 24th
    Z was born October 16, 2016
    #3 Due October 9, 2018

    MC - November 29, 2012
    CP - November 15, 2014
    D&C for MMC - October 13, 2015




  • I am just floored by people that don't use sunscreen. 

    Then again I witnessed the horrors of melanoma with my dad, so I've seen first hand the damage that can be done. He had to have multiple surgeries so close to his eye that at one point one of the "better" options on the table was having it sewn shut with grafted skin. He had to wear sunscreen even while indoors to avoid any UV exposure, including from walking by windows. 

    He grew up in a time when there was no sunscreen. We have no excuses now, but people are willfully risking their own health. Or worse, their kids' health. Just shockingly stupid, but what do I know. 
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