@Ashleymn Daycare is not something that you can just "not believe in." You can say you don't believe in Santa Claus or even God, but Daycares are there and they exist. Now, you can say that you don't agree with sending your child(ren) to a daycare or that you don't support daycares. Like you said, there are wonderful daycares out there just like there are awful ones that unfortunately you and your SO experienced.
Unfortunately, not every person or couple can work their schedules around to provide full time care for their child(ren). That would literally be impossible for me and DH.
Personally, we are looking into in-home daycares provided by close friends with good reputations because that was the setting we were both raised in and we have fond memories of it.
@emmaaa I'll agree believe in was for lack of a better word; however, I am by no means looking down on mothers who use daycare. I understand that not everyone can stay at home or work their schedules out. It's a decision that you and your family must make and what you're comfortable with, I'm sorry if you think I meant any disrespect by my response.
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+ BFP: 03/10 First Baby: 10/20/2016
Hubby would love not to send our baby to day care, but there's no way we can afford one of us to stay at home, and working differen hours will only bring in minimal amount of money that is needed. In an ideal world, my mom would be retired and live close by so she can be the care giver during the day, but that's not an option yet either. So until then, I have no choice but to find a day care we trust. I'm looking into the in-home kind as well, and I'm starting my search now so that I won't feel "stuck" with a place due to waiting list or other barriers that might come up.
I don't qualify for FMLA and my company is only willing to give me 6 weeks TOTAL (unpaid, I'm in the USA). I dont have job protection, so... even if my doctor says i need more, Im SIL. I am also forced to exhaust all my PTO during the 6 weeks, so I can't stack it. that means, work until I go into labor. Day cares don't take under 6 weeks around here...
the shitty part is if I don't come back after leave that counts as MY resignation, so I won't qualify for unemployment. I'm basically hoping for the best, which is they let me go so I can get 6 months "paid maternity leave" (unemployment) and go back to work somewhere else. Current plan is just just hand in my notice and leave on a good note, 2 weeks before my due date... then do consulting work in my field after baby is born.
The fact that i am hoping to get let go as the best option is a huge testament to the lack of maternity leave laws in the USA.
I actually really like the idea of daycare. I look at it as a way to help my child develop skills I may not be able to teach the same way her teachers will be able to and it will give her the socialization skills she needs. That said, I'd LOVE to be a SAHM... but I really see the good in daycare. Not only that, but DH and I, like @emmaaa, really don't have another option.
@bnsmith85 I'm with you - I'm excited for our daycare. They start teaching the kids sign language and speaking to them in Spanish in the infant room, and as the kids get older the educational/social opportunities increase (for example, yoga classes and beginning Mandarin). They even have a little prom for the older kids. I think I was kind of a weird kid growing up so I'm glad my child will have socialization opportunities that I didn't have until I was older.
I actually really like the idea of daycare. I look at it as a way to help my child develop skills I may not be able to teach the same way her teachers will be able to and it will give her the socialization skills she needs. That said, I'd LOVE to be a SAHM... but I really see the good in daycare. Not only that, but DH and I, like @emmaaa, really don't have another option.
I agree. I enjoy working and being around adults, and I think it's good for my son to be around other children and authority figures. It feels like a win-win. My husband works about 75% from home so we luckily won't have to send LO full time initially (if we can find part time options for infant care) but even if we did I would be ok with it. To each his own, for me personally I need balance between mommy time and time to just be me. Work helps give me that.
We have very few decent daycare options in our town. I was really hoping for in-home or a nanny to come to our house because I feel like our traditional daycares are hectic and their stuff is outdated. I just lucked out....my MIL has a friend who retired and is willing to take care of our LO starting when I go back to work til he turns 1 and can start at church preschool! I am SO relieved. She is a retired Peds nurse so I'm not worried about her abilities at all. I would prefer to be a SAHM but that's just not in the cards right now.
I hope everyone who's childcare plans are up in the air finds a good solution for their family! Everyone's needs are different and finding something that works for YOU and your LO is what's important!
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@naravna So interesting! On a side note, I just went to Hungary in Dec/Jan, and it was WONDERFUL. One of my favorite countries I've ever been to, and I can't wait to hopefully make it back one day.
@bnsmith85I agree with you wholeheartedly. My son is with me all day right now and I feel like he's really missing out on learning important social skills. I'm always a little nervous when he's around other kids because he doesn't interact with kids his age on a regular basis, so he doesn't read cues as well as he could. We're looking at sending him to preschool two to three days a week once the new baby is here (though wait lists for most preschools around us are a year long) specifically so he can be around other kids and learn to interact without me hovering over him.
I don't qualify for FMLA and my company is only willing to give me 6 weeks TOTAL (unpaid, I'm in the USA). I dont have job protection, so... even if my doctor says i need more, Im SIL. I am also forced to exhaust all my PTO during the 6 weeks, so I can't stack it. that means, work until I go into labor. Day cares don't take under 6 weeks around here...
the shitty part is if I don't come back after leave that counts as MY resignation, so I won't qualify for unemployment. I'm basically hoping for the best, which is they let me go so I can get 6 months "paid maternity leave" (unemployment) and go back to work somewhere else. Current plan is just just hand in my notice and leave on a good note, 2 weeks before my due date... then do consulting work in my field after baby is born.
The fact that i am hoping to get let go as the best option is a huge testament to the lack of maternity leave laws in the USA.
This (and all of your earlier comments on maternity leave) is so horrible.
@SpaceBurger Oh, that's a lovely surprise! Yes, we do have some charm, just not for the people living here I don't know if it would be too off-topic, but maybe in the weekly randoms thread you could tell me all about it
I'm also in the boat of wishing I could stay home but not being able to afford it. But then I'd also like to keep my job and career going ... like working one day a week would be ideal lol. We also have very limited options for daycares in our area, especially ones that are not chains, which I refuse to send my child to (I have worked at an upscale chain daycare and the things I saw there were horrific). It's terrifying, because in my experience working at daycares, there are some amazing teachers and some awful teachers working at the same places. Right now there are basically only two places that work for us and I would trust. We're on the waitlist for both even though we started looking at 8 weeks. I was not prepared for that in our midwest suburban area!
This might be a UO, but while I do believe daycare can have a lot of benefits, I don't believe those benefits really start until the child is 2 or older ... up until then the child is just engaging in parallel play and cannot "socialize." That said, there are some wonderful, educated, loving teachers out there, and I'm trying to be optimistic that my child will end up with some of them!
Just in case anybody is interested, check out care.com you can find nannies who are ACTUALLY nannies, not teenage babysitters looking for a weekend gig.
@AllyTheKid You do have the option on Care.com to narrow your choices by people who are certified and background checks. However, anyone can sign up for Care.com to be a nanny or caretaker. My 10 year old niece is on care to be hired as a nanny/babysitter. I would trust her with my own kid because she is a wonderful child, but age wise I wouldn't leave her alone. Like I said before, I am a worry wart though. I am too on Care for private duty as a CNA (though I am inactive) and it also gives you the option to pay for a background check to increase your chances of getting hired. Overall, Care.com is a great choice for a nanny/babysitter if you need one because of those of options!
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+ BFP: 03/10 First Baby: 10/20/2016
Re: FFFC May 20
Unfortunately, not every person or couple can work their schedules around to provide full time care for their child(ren). That would literally be impossible for me and DH.
Personally, we are looking into in-home daycares provided by close friends with good reputations because that was the setting we were both raised in and we have fond memories of it.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+
BFP: 03/10
First Baby: 10/20/2016
the shitty part is if I don't come back after leave that counts as MY resignation, so I won't qualify for unemployment. I'm basically hoping for the best, which is they let me go so I can get 6 months "paid maternity leave" (unemployment) and go back to work somewhere else. Current plan is just just hand in my notice and leave on a good note, 2 weeks before my due date... then do consulting work in my field after baby is born.
The fact that i am hoping to get let go as the best option is a huge testament to the lack of maternity leave laws in the USA.
I hope everyone who's childcare plans are up in the air finds a good solution for their family! Everyone's needs are different and finding something that works for YOU and your LO is what's important!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Oh, that's a lovely surprise! Yes, we do have some charm, just not for the people living here
I don't know if it would be too off-topic, but maybe in the weekly randoms thread you could tell me all about it
This might be a UO, but while I do believe daycare can have a lot of benefits, I don't believe those benefits really start until the child is 2 or older ... up until then the child is just engaging in parallel play and cannot "socialize." That said, there are some wonderful, educated, loving teachers out there, and I'm trying to be optimistic that my child will end up with some of them!
It's a boy!
SO and I have been together: 5 Years+
BFP: 03/10
First Baby: 10/20/2016