Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Dreams!
DS1 - 03/31/2006
DS2 - 12/31/2008
DS3 - 06/26/2012
DS4 - 08/07/2014
tnem down this time.
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
Then a couple of nights ago though I dreamt that a former coworker of mine went on Family Feud with his entire family and that they had coordinated a dance for when they won. This is someone I haven't seen or talked to in over 2 years. And the dance was super elaborate and involved "churning the butter" (or whatever that dance move is called).
And the weird part was that it was just a pre-runner to a larger unrelated dream in which an ex of mine wrote an iOS app that was a game that he would try to trick all these various girls he formerly slept with (including myself) into playing as a way of establishing a harem of concubines. The game was Game of Thrones based but had a bunch of subliminal messages that would flash on the screen for a microsecond saying things like "Sleep with Chris." And I noticed it and laughed at him and was like, "You have got to be kidding me if you think I'm stupid enough to fall for this crap." And he got all angry with me and was like, "Sounds exactly like something Cersei Lannister would say" and I woke up laughing.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
I had one dream that our kids figured out I'm pregnant about it and starting hinting around so we would tell them.
Another that we had a work meeting at my house and a coworker figured it out because I WAS DROOLING. :sigh:
And one more about labor where my midwife was trying to get me to stop pushing for a second so I wouldn't tear.
I definitely have babies on the brain.
Almost always mobile bumping--forgive my typos.
OMG, your dream reminds me of the 'eat your cereal, Ryan' vines:
June Siggy Challenge: Robert Downey Jr
37 yr old mama with 4yr old DD and 2 yr old DS
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
Have I mentioned that my pregnancy dreams are also very detailed?
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---
debby downer over here lol
I...have no idea.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---
for my 2 1/2 year old) hubby is currently in school 3 hours away so sleeping alone is probably what's causing these fears...3 more weeks and he's done tho!
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
I had a dream that I was fighting this old lady over a dresser (that I was going to use as a changing table) in Anthropologie. She was dragging me around the store by my hair while I acted super nonchalant about it. I think the silliest part of the dream was that the Anthropologie dresser only cost $303.
I haven't had any dreams yet but with my daughter I had a dream where I was at work and was hungry so I grabbed the hole puncher on my desk and opened it up so all the paper dots that get punched out were in a pile. Then I started eating them. YES.. I ate all of the paper dots in my dream lol. Still one of the weirdest dreams I've ever had and I'm completely thrown off as to why I was craving the taste of paper
Pumpkin Spice Gone to Far| Jan '17 September Siggy Challenge
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
It was so vivid. I take it as me just being scared of everything.
Then I dreamed my parents were in the car with me and dh and dd. Dh was driving us to the beach joking around and trying to itch his lips BC they were super chapped. Then he went to pass someone and pulled out right in front of a car flying down the highway so he swerved into a bunch of trees and made it through but there was a house right after them that we slammed into and me and dd died.
I also recently dreamed that we were out and the police were looking for a criminal who they were going to shoot and for some reason thought it was dd (who isn't even one yet) and so they did and then my husband and I were freaking out and they just said oh whoops wrong person..
I went into the clinic and there were stalls filled with women giving birth. It was this huge place and almost like a maze. (I had never actually been to my clinic before this dream) The women were all super exposed and noisy and I was walking around my husband trying to figure out where we were supposed to go and no one would help us. Then I forget what happened. But at the end we were leaving and I found a passport in the parking lot and I was super worried about finding the owner.
Pretty weird.
from Seattle(ish)
5 years married
FTM and PGAL
EDD is 12/23/17
-- It's a BOY! ---
The other had to do with my best friend from college. We were graduating together and went on a trip with a bunch of classmates to this giant hydroelectric dam thing... we all stood around the top to watch the water fall through the "gears" in the middle and feel the spray from the giant whirlpool it created. There had been a tradition in classes before ours where "really brave" graduates would jump in the water and climb back out for extra luck finding a great career. I was yelling how stupid that was to my best friend and then suddenly she jumped in. But there was a big drought that year so the water level wasn't high enough for her to reach the ladder... then she got swept away by the current and dragged down this giant whirlpool... I panicked and looked over the other side where much further down the water was emptied... and it was red. Ughhhh.
Married: 8/11/2007
DD: Born 2/3/17
BFP#2: 5/3, EDD 1/10/19
I woke up and I'm still mad at him, irrational as it is.
BFP May 16th 2016
DD born January 30 2017
Surprise BFP/MC April 2017