Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Pregnancy Complaints Week 5.23.16
I am feeling so gross. We had a family graduation party out of town this weekend and were staying with my inlaws. We haven't told anyone yet so I was trying to figure out how I was going to get through this weekend. Surprisingly, I started feeling pretty good on Saturday afternoon and didn't really have any problems. Other than the panic that something was wrong because I no longer felt like crap. Well, yesterday afternoon the nausea was back. It's such a love hate relationship. I am reassured by the nausea (even though I know that doesn't mean we are out of the woods yet) but I hate feeling this crappy. I can't focus at work, nothing sounds good, I get irritated with my son more easily, and just feel off.
Question: does anyone else have food allergies or some other condition that could result in anaphylaxis or another similar severe reaction? I have a milk allergy (usually my reactions don't reach anaphylaxis levels, I don't think, but they are severe) and I am completely paranoid about what might happen if I have a reaction. I've cut back on eating at restaurants and am trying to be extra careful in general, but I'm still not feeling completely safe about eating. To make matters worse, whenever I google "food allergies pregnancy" all I get is a bunch of stuff about people being afraid about their kids having a food allergy. Anyone else have any actual experience or information on this? I'm planning to ask my doctor, but my first appointment isn't until a week from tomorrow.
married 9/15
DD: 1/17/17
#2 due 7/26/20!
Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15
1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!
2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!
3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21
Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.
Can I suggest that we stop calling this weekly thread the "complaints" thread, and instead call it the "symptoms" thread? I'm sure that more people that just me are uncomfortable with the naming. After spending 7 months on TTGP with a lot of other women who have been TTC for much, much longer than that, I'm so grateful about being pregnant that I'm not complaining. A lot of people would give anything to feel pregnancy symptoms.
I want to participate and discuss symptoms, especially throughout the 1stTri, but I'm not going to complain.
Me: 28 | DH: 31
Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
TTC #1 since November 2015
BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
Yes!! I would second a vote to change this thread from "complaints" to "symptoms".
TTC January 2016
BFP May 17, 2016
DS born January 31st, 2017: Rory "Mac" MacKinnon
DS born 4/06/14
MC #2 August 2015
CP November 2015
MC#3 January 2016
BFP 5/11/16 EDD 1/19/17
Me: 31 | Husband: 32
Married: September 2014!
TTC #1: January 2016 BFP 5/16/16 Quinn Born 1/27/17
I spent 31 months trying to get pregnant. If a pregnant person tried to complain to me during that time I would have (and did) shut it down ASAP. But my experience with infertility doesn't make pregnancy magic rainbows and unicorns. It's ok to complain (to other pregnant people or our SOs), it's ok to not even like being pregnant. Those feelings are valid and don't make any of us lesser.
I'm perfectly fine changing the post title or leaving it as is, I'm just saying don't tell me (or anyone else) not to complain here. Those feelings are valid and should be let out and commiserated with rather than continuing the nonsense misogynistic idea that pregnant women are supposed to be SO GRATEFUL for every ache, pain, gag and vomit and whatever else. That's just not healthy.
Eta tag
Me: 31 | Husband: 32
Married: September 2014!
TTC #1: January 2016 BFP 5/16/16 Quinn Born 1/27/17
*TW*
@TinaBelcher I'm very sorry if my post came off as trying to discourage people from complaining. I definitely complain to my H and my mom, and I know that everyone deserves a safe space to do so. BUT as someone who has had a loss and has had bleeding this pregnancy, I AM thankful for every twinge, gag, or whatever, because just for that moment, everything is going like it's supposed to be. Does that mean that some days I'm happy being miserable? H-E-L-L no! I completely agree with you that it is valid to feel that way, but I hope you can agree with me in that it can be startling to see a post pop up about complaining, when you are worried that your pregnancy will last until tomorrow. We have plenty of places to vent about growing a human being. Heck, every one of my symptoms posts are complaints. I just don't think it's necessary to have a post titled such.
Edited because only a few words made it to the post.
First tri freaking blows :'(
I get why "complaints" make you cringe especially if you've been trying. So if it makes others feel better i think it could be changed to "symptoms" i maybe contradicted myself but it makes sense in my head
I think jumping to the conclusion that I'm continuing misogynic dialogue is ridiculous. I'm not arguing symptoms vs. complaints because I think that everything should be sunshine and rainbows and that we as women should be reveling in our discomfort. I'm just trying to make this thread more representative of everyone, including those who want to discuss symptoms but aren't cool with "complaints" for whatever reason they feel that way. And I'm not telling you how to feel. Feel however you want. I was sharing how I felt about it.
Me: 28 | DH: 31
Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
TTC #1 since November 2015
BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
"cjs260 no worries, I'm not offended, and I understand the desire to feel grateful, I guess I just wrote that book in response to a general feeling that "complaining is bad because other women are struggling" but that's not really a healthy attitude. I just wanted to openly address that anyone who HAS complained (raises hand, just not in this particular thread) shouldn't feel bad about it."
I was addressing the vibe of the post and keeping it inclusive to the people who had already participated (or wanted to). That vibe did turn decidedly misogynistic in it's rejection of pregnancy "complaints" whether you see it or not. Societal-pushed attitudes almost always are. Again- I don't care about changing the name, I just don't dig where the post was heading.
I guess you don't know me, or what I'm about yet, but believe me, I'm the last person to be misogynistic.
Since we agree - let's let this lie.
ETA tag
Me: 28 | DH: 31
Together since 2006 | Married May 2015
TTC #1 since November 2015
BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
Peace out ladies
Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15
1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!
2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!
3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21
Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.
Every Friday we go out to eat and talk with friends and now I cannot and am unsure what my excuse is --- the plague? Oh and I am carrying around a trash bag because I've found out the smell of the bathroom makes me want to gag even more, and so after an obsessive cleaning with bleach that too makes me want to gag.
TW: Loss
Dead horse, beaten.
Anyway.
I'm eternally grateful to be pregnant, but I have a COMPLAINT.
Headaches. Headaches every day.
SaveSave
Me: 31 | Husband: 32
Married: September 2014!
TTC #1: January 2016 BFP 5/16/16 Quinn Born 1/27/17
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
You're not the only crazy one! I was having a lot of shooting dull "pain" on mostly my left side(not quit pain but not quit cramps ) and it was terrifying me. But I google (I know, horrible idea...) and it is actually pretty normal! And actually this last week it has happened less and now the cramps are more "normal". So I wouldn't worry too much! If it gets too painful, you can call your doctor. Sometimes they'll do an earlier U/S to check everything.
With that said, my "ccomplaint" is constant dull cramps and back aches. I feel like I constantly need to crack my back!
Me: 31 | Husband: 32
Married: September 2014!
TTC #1: January 2016 BFP 5/16/16 Quinn Born 1/27/17
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
@Dinozaur Does it kind of feel like when you ovulate? That's sort of how I can explain it. I could feel myself ovulate every month(it would start out as a cramp and then become a shooting pain), sometimes the intensity of the sharp pains would be so bad I would have to sit down. Now during my pregnancy it's not quite that bad. But it's a similar feeling. I'm thinking since I almost always ovulate from the left side it's either more sensitive or a cyst. Which is very common.
Jan '17 August siggy challenge: Cat fails
TW: Loss
Also, my itchy breast have now become sore nipples. The weirdest part is it's mostly my right breast, it's even bigger!
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏