TTC After a Loss

Waiting to O : May edition

24

Re: Waiting to O : May edition

  • @roxgibbons Sorry about AF. This is such a difficult process. So exciting to have an IUI in your future though!
  • @BornReady thanks- I'm trying to stay positive and really give these next couple cycles my all. Im glad you're getting your IVF process started. That's really exciting and the success rates are awesome. 
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • Loading the player...
  • well crap - another big fight with DH (not related to OPKs) if we have any "relations" this cycle at all beyond what we had yesterday (well away from my FW) I'll be surprised

    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • @catiecatp sorry about your fight.  Sending you good thoughts.

    @roxgibbons sorry for AF, but glad you have a plan with your RE.  I will probably have an IUI early next week, so close to yours.  And definitely one step at a time.  I keep thinking about whether I will want to do IVF once we get through 6 IUIs (this is number 5), and part of me just wants to keep going with the IUIs, as they're less meds, less invasive, and I know my routine already for them, you know?  It's overwhelming to think about it all, just need to focus on getting through this cycle (/day/week/etc.).  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • I'm sorry @catiecatp. I hope things with you and DH find some resolution. 

    @BrightenMySky I hear you on being conflicted about sticking with IUI versus going with IVF. Now that I am committed to IVF, I'm getting a little nervous. It's a big commitment (time, meds, stress) and I feel like the more I put in, the more disappointed I will be if we aren't successful. Good luck with your upcoming IUI! Like you said, one step at a time.
  • roxgibbonsroxgibbons member
    edited May 2016
    @catiecatp sorry about your fight with DH- hope all is well now. 

    @BrightenMySky I understand completely. The IUI process seems so much easier than IVF. I really vacillate between the two especially for all the reasons you mentioned and the cost. That said I keep going back to the success rates and that's what always makes me think about it as an option. 

    DH and I had a discussion last night and I'm getting the sense he wants to stop soon. He said he's committed to trying the IUIs and he believes we'll be successful but he kept saying how he hates seeing me so upset every cycle and all the pain we've been through this year. In his words- he hates seeing the person he loves continuously heartbroken. He kept bringing up not making TTC such a focus and maybe taking a break from treatments or stopping all together if IUIs aren't successful. I mentioned IVF and he's not on board quite yet but said it's a possibility. I also reminded him I don't have the luxury of taking a break for a while to think things through because of my age. This whole process and our loss is wearing on him- we didn't fight it was just a conversation but it made me sad. He was just sharing his feelings and that's fair. 
     
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • @roxgibbons, I am sorry AF came.

    @catiecap, I am sorry you & DH are fighting.

    I am on CD10 now. I usually O on CD16 or 17. DH and I are in a dry spell at this time, but I am sure relations will commence soon so hopefully we find our groove in time for my FW. We both find TTC stressful and a turn off. Sometimes it just feels so forced. Ugh. I will start doing OPKs around CD 13 or 14 just to be sure I catch our best days.


    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
  • Both DH and I are feeling run down and exhausted.  I really hope that we don't get sick.  It will just add stress to the IUI and make it less appealing to supplement with trying on our own before/after.  My last IUI (first one post-loss), DH had a stomachache, and it was really triggering because it reminded me of when I went to the ER after my loss and DH had food poisoning.  

    @BornReady that's definitely part of it for me, too, thinking about IVF.  I will have invested so much time, $$, and emotions, what if it fails.  And there seem like so many points to experience potential failure.  I feel like experiencing loss really brings those issues to the front of my mind.  

    @roxgibbons sorry about how things are going with your DH.  It does wear on the relationship, even if you're not actually fighting.  All the decisionmaking points are so difficult to work through, very trying.  
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • @roxgibbons sorry for AF. It's always so disappointing. 

    @catiecatp sorry you and DH are having a hard time. This is all so stress inducing.  I hope you can work things out soon. 

    @BrightenMySky the whole IUI and IVF processes sound so confusing to me. I hope you and DH can make a decision that you are both happy with and that you get your take home baby soon! 


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @MooFish2364 @Mwoodside Thanks for the support. It is disappointing when AF showed up. And she is here with a vengeance.

    @BrightenMySky hope you and DH feel better and are 100% for your IUI. Rest up and take care of yourself. As you mentioned it does take a toll on the relationship and not to mentioned there are so many other life stresses anyway and this just adds to it. We continued the conversation this morning and we agreed that we will give it 3 more IUIs now that my fibroids have been removed (we're hopeful that will improve our chances) and if not successful figure out next steps. Until then that is the plan and we're not going to rethink it unless we absolutely have to- I did mention to DH how grateful I am for him and what an amazing support he has been. I felt it was important to remind him that his support hasn't gone unnoticed through our journey. He seemed to really appreciate that. 



     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • Paging @MrsDramaK to thank you for your AF mojo! IT WORKED!!!! She's here, and she's angry, but it means I can cancel my OB appointment. Showed up exactly 8 weeks after the damn D&C. Finally!

    @roxgibbons Sounds like your AF is pissy too. So sorry she's here. 

    @catiecatp I'm sorry you are DH are fighting. It's such a sucky place to be, especially because loss adds another layer of stress when TTC. 

    Love and hugs to all the ladies undergoing IUI/IVF work up and procedures. I hope I never need these things, but I admire how strong you guys are through all that stress. I pray your procedures result in BFPs all around! 
  • This may be one place where we cheer for AF, congrats @Wishilivedinflorida

    are you able to get back at it this cycle? 
  • Thanks @SnobunnieMel It is so odd to be happy for this. Nobody ever benched me officially but we waited until my RPL panel came back and since it was negative and I didn't need treatment for anything, we started NTNP. 

    ******tw*******



    Its ridiculously heavy though. I know it is that way for many women after loss. It reminds me of my first loss when I bled from the SCH before we had the MC itself. It's kind of triggering in a way for me. Last time my first AF was on time and normal so it's catching me off guard. 

    *****end tw*******

    Onward to O! Happy to finally get a few days off from temping and not feeling obligated to POAS to prove I'm not KU. 
  • @Wishilivedinflorida I'm glad you got AF and can start moving forward. My AF was triggering this time for me too. Like you, it was pretty normal after my first MC and wasn't a problem. This time, the cramps were heavier on CD1, which was a trigger for me. Hopefully it gets better for you soon!
  • @Wishilivedinflorida Congrats on AF and the negative RPL panel. I always used to take my period off from temping too, like a nice little TTC vacation. 
  • Woohoo!!!!!! @Wishilivedinflorida YAY for AF, bet you never thought you'd be so happy for that biyach to rear her ugly!!!!!  Welcome to WTO we are happy to have you!!  :):D<3:p

    Celebratory Gif:

     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • congrats @Wishilivedinflorida  i know how happy i was to get that first period back so i'm so glad you can kick start again. i hope it eases up soon.
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • my HSG was pushed back to tomorrow, ugh. I've been anxiously waiting the test since my ectopic in february so i guess one more day won't kill me. at least it's first thing in the morning so i won't have to wait around all day for it.
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • @brooklyngirl18 sorry they pushed it back, but I agree good to get it over with first thing.  Did your doctor suggest taking any painkillers beforehand?  Mine did, and I think it helped my comfort level during the procedure, so might ask if you didn't already get the instruction.  Hope it goes well!
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • @brooklyngirl18 Best wishes for a quick and minimally painful HSG tomorrow! Sorry you had to wait another day. FX for good results!
  • @brooklyngirl18 good luck with your hsg today! I hope everything goes smoothly for you. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Good luck @brooklyngirl18 with your HSG!
  • @brooklyngirl18 Good luck with your HSG this morning!!
  • @BrightenMySky my dr gave me antibiotic and an 800 mg motrin to take beforehand so it wasn't that bad. the dr said everything looks clear so I'm SO excited and relieved, just waiting on my OB to call with the official results and plan but she mentioned last time that we could start as long as the test was clear. 

    thanks so much for the well wishes, it means so much to me @BrightenMySky  @Wishilivedinflorida @MooFish2364 @BornReady @dubcompanion
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • @brooklyngirl18 I am so glad that it wasn't that bad and that you got good results.  Hope this helps get the weekend off to a good start for you!
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • It's CD 13 for me and being a bit blasé this month on when I ovulate. I'm just gonna BD with H a ton this week and perhaps into the next week to cover our bases. 

    I was just thinking the other day @Wishilivedinflorida how wonderful this board is and how I would love to keep up with it even after a BFP. However, I realize that if/when that happens, this board is no longer my niche. 
    It would be bittersweet, for sure. I never joined the June '16 board and had been planning to after a successful 12-week appt. Perhaps if we all joined a BMB board together, it'd make it a different experience than your previous one. :smile: 
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @Wishilivedinflorida
    Oh the drama of the BMB. O16 had some characters, as some of my fellow former O16 mamas can attest to...This board is a lot more beneficial, and I agree that it would be great if we all got KU at the same time.  I didn't read the PGAL threads, but I bet they were a lot like this board. 
  • @JDMRS I was on O16 but definitely didn't post much beyond the PGAL threads and just ghosted after my loss. The constant loss posts early in the first tri were very unsettling, and I already had bad vibes about my last pregnancy. The PGAL board is great but not very active. It would be nice to have a private group later when we are all hopefully in various stages of being KU!

    Also, I confess to buying the three last remaining 88 cent cheapie tests at Walmart today. I'm not even in my FW yet, let alone TWW.  :#
  • @Wishilivedinflorida @JDMRS I was O16 too. well, i lurked the O16 board but never actually jumped in since it wasn't really my vibe. maybe it's settled down now, i remember my N14 board was pretty snarky and nasty at first but everyone was much nicer once we all got to know each other. the newbie phase really pisses some off for some reason.
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • that's the spirit @SnobunnieMel

    i have a total newb question, i'm sure this has been discussed a million times but i can't seem to find it. i decided to start using opk and i bought the cheapies from amazon. i used it for the first time today and got a super faint line at CD 11. my cycle is usually 33-35 days and i always thought i ovulated pretty early in my cycle but day 11 of 33 seems super early. i should expect it to get darker over the next few days right? 
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    :)@SnobunnieMel that's the spirit, lady!!! I love the idea of a super cool grad club for all of us when the time comes!
  • @brooklyngirl18 faint is normal. It will darken and it's considered positive when it's as dark or darker than the control line 
  • thanks @SnobunnieMel!
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • @SnobunnieMel I like your spirit for the O16 crew (myself included). A group of grads from this group would be awesome. 

    @brooklyngirl18 for the OPKs I would sometimes keep the sticks and compare the progression of the darkness of the lines that way it would be easier for me to pinpoint the positive one once it get dark enough. I would definitely expect you to get a positive in the next few days. Good luck!!
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
  • JDMRSJDMRS member
    @brooklyngirl18 I used wondfo OPK when I conceived the first time and I never got a true "positive" but like PP said, it will get darker. I normally O day 18 or 19, but I get faint lines starting day 13, and they get progressively darker.
  • CD13 and WTO - didn't temp properly this morning - DH and I were both awake at 4:30 and didn't have to get ready for work until about 5:30 so we took advantage of the time and BD instead. Which is good, because we missed yesterday and I may have a slow rise pattern - so I may O around CD13 instead of CD18 (the later time is a clear shift, but my LP is short if it is on CD18 and my endocrine panel came back in the normal range...). The other bonus is that today is a 12 hour work day and BDing when I got home was the plan, but not a fun plan.

    I was going to use OPKs to start figuring out what type of rise pattern I have, but arguments with DH meant I wasn't even sure we'd be trying this month. Things have oddly settled but nothing has been really resolved - I don't want to open a can of worms and restart the argument though so I'm keeping quiet for now. 
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • @catiecatp I'm glad your argument with DH didn't prevent some BD-ing at all like you thought it would. I hope you have some good timing for either O possibility and that you guys can revisit the argument in a constructive way later that doesn't interfere with trying. 
  • thanks for the responses @roxgibbons and @JDMRS according to FF my window is this weekend so i guess that makes sense. 

    @catiecatp I'm sorry things with dh are still unsettled but i'm glad you got to bd this morning instead of after a long work day. maybe he is taking some time to think about a resolution instead of going in circles while arguing? either way, i hope you guys can resolve things soon.
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
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