Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
PoeMasque
member
Re: Checking in, again!
your first name (or your screen name, if you prefer) AHRains
where you're from Mobile, AL
TTC#? 2 (1 MC)
how many months/cycles you've been TTC 5/6 post MC
where you are at in your cycle CD26, 13ish DPO
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. Feel fine and trying to stay positive! Trying not to take every little twinge or symptom as either yay or nay.
gtky question: do you have any pets? We are furparents to two dogs and one kitty.
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
where you're from Missouri
TTC#? 1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC since April 2015
where you are at in your cycle CD26, 14 DPO
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. Feeling tired it has been a long week. Really wishing the weekend was longer. trying not to stress to much.
gtky question: do you have any pets? We have three dogs and a cat. Our dogs are puddles the puggles, zen the lab mix, and our puppy Sailor the English bulldog mix. We also have a cat named meow.
where you're from Northeast US
TTC# 1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC 5/5 (though the first two were really NTNP)
where you are at in your cycle CD 28/9 dpo
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related. Like @ahrains trying not to go bananas every time I feel a cramp or bubble. Had a weirdorable moment with a coworker the other night- she and I tend to text during rehearsals, even when we're sitting right next to each other. She knows we're ttc, so when I texted "god I wish I was drunk right now" she texted "...and are you drinking these days?" I texted back "2ww," assuming she'd know what it meant since she's been though all this. I guess in a moment of excitement she read that as "2 weeks in" or something, and texted back a row of happy faces, and looked up with a huge smile on her face. I had to explain that I meant "two week wait." It was a nice taste of having someone be excited for me, but I'd rather have the real thing! We ended up having a long whispered conversation about ovulating.
gtky question: do you have any pets? Not at the moment! We'll get a dog at some point, and are currently waging (humane) war against the chipmunks that live under our new house. We've had some success trapping them, then DH drives them to a park 7 miles away and lets them go.
edited because "hug smile" isn't a thing
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
@Hopefulmommy1980 those are awesome pet names! Meow the cat and puddles the puggle
Jen from Oregon
TTC#1
7/7
CD 27/ 12DPO (estimated, since I don't OPK or temp, just old fashioned charting)
was feeing super discouraged since I had a BFN yesterday morning, but as I said above I have been having all sorts of twinges since about 7 DPO and I haven't had even a hint of my usual pre AF spotting (I have 4-5 days like clockwork). So I'm cautiously hopeful. either way I spent the weekend doing major demo at our new house and now I'm having twinges all over my whole body! (Do not offer to demo tile flooring yourself!! Ack!)
We have two cats. A Russian blue named Bear (he is the size of a Maine coon and thinks he is a human!) and a tiny tortie named Beebs. I often worry about what Bear will do when he's no longer the center of attention in the house.....it's going to be rough!
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
TTC#1
Too many cycles to add up - on and off since 9/2014
CD 6
I am pretty deflated after the last cycle - pretty sure I experienced implantation cramping and CM for the first time ever. We are going to pretty much do the same thing as last cycle. I kind of consider this the second month of TTC because now I know when I ovulate for sure and the rest of the times we haven't and were starting too late. My mom told me it took her two months, so I'm hoping maybe I'll follow in her footsteps now that we have this all figured out.
We have a cat named Ally who is 14 years old - she was H's cat before we met. She's very vocal. We just got a puppy for my 40th birthday named Cami and she's almost 9 months now - she's a schnauzer/terrier mix we think. I've had two puppies/dogs before and don't remember them being this crazy, but I was in my early 20's when I got them, so I guess it might be my tolerance level has changed. Cami is starting to calm down a bit, thank goodness, because I work from home two days a week and she has definitely been testing my patience.
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
@jennh75b Yeah, I was a little off on my O dates for a couple of months as well. I'm even justifying adding a couple of months to the 6-month mark before I go see my obgyn. Fx for both of us!
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
Hey there, best of luck ladies and FX!
Lu from the south. Currently in my FW, expecting to O within next 2 days. Feeling kind of drained from last cycle. We really stuck to BD'g every other day several days before (even before FW started) and after O. I limited caffeine, took supplements, ate super healthy, yada yada yada ... and AF came 4 days early. We're still going to try this cycle, but not so rigorous as last month. I recently saw my gyn for my annual, and he suggested we try for another 3 months, and if no luck, we can start initial testing, dye exam, etc. So in a way that made me feel more relaxed and not as rushed, I guess... not really sure. Maybe I need a month to re-charge? Anywho, that's where I am at this point. Feeling a little bleh, but also starting to accept that if this takes some time, it takes some time. Deep in my heart I know this will happen
Our yellow lab is our fur child. H and I got him from lab rescue 3 months after we started dating when he was only 6 weeks old. I really believe fur children improve our quality of life. Our lab is 8 now, but still our 100 lb. puppy-at-heart. He was initially depressed when we first brought DS home from hospital bc he was no longer the center of our world.. fast forward almost 2 years later, those two are best buddies now.
@Lu19 - isn't it always the way? AF comes early just to put us out of our misery, I suppose. It's a double-edged sword. If it's going to come, then just come already...but really you don't want it to come at all.
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
I'm CD 15. Doing cheapie OPK's this time and the last two days they have gotten darker but not as dark as control yet. DH and I are going to try BDing every day this week. Feeling hopeful.
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
@KT&John I love your hopefulness and appreciate you posting about OPKs as I have not used those yet but feel like I might need to start!
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
@KT&John good to know! I have held off on OPKs because I thought it would be too much pressure, but i ended up buying a bunch on CD1 this week. I'm a little intimidated by them...I bought both the smiley face ones and the cheapie sticks.....just because I didn't trust either of them completely!
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
your first name (or your screen name, if you prefer): Kathleen
where you're from: Georgia
TTC#? #1
how many months/cycles you've been TTC: I've had 8 failed IUIs. The last IUI was done when my first IVF was canceled for poor response.
where you are at in your cycle: Last few days of BCPs before starting IVF #2, this time with microdose lupron flare protocol.
how you feel, plans, rants, anything cycle/TTC related.: I'm a total mess. This is my last try with my own ovaries. If it doesn't work, we're moving on to reciprocal IVF using my wife's eggs, my uterus. I just had my meds delivered, so when I get home, I get to count to make sure I got everything.
gtky question: do you have any pets? We have two cat, and one little mutt pup.
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
EVERYTHING crossed!
You've been through so much Xoxox
TTC #1: 3/2016
Me 39 - DH 44
BFP 5/27/16 EDD 1/30/17
DD born 2/3/17
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
Sorry ladies, I've been MIA again, I seem to go in spurts with this message board thing, depending on how busy I am.
1) PattersRN
2) Oregon
3) TTC #1 for 9 months
4) I'm counting it as CD 4. I got a definite positive test on May 19th (right after my HSG). Got to 5 weeks and miscarried this past Sunday.
5) Still trying to recover from the loss. I was an emotional disaster yesterday but feel better today. Thankfully DH and I have the whole week off from work. I have fears about having to go through that again, fears that this is never going to happen for us, etc. I managed to drag myself out of bed and to my cello lesson last night, even though I started crying again when I got back in the car. I feel much better today.
6) We have two adorable cats: Eileen (a fluffy attention whore) and Bella (a chubby recluse)
Me: 37, DH: 36
Started TTC #1: 9/2015
Preliminary labs/testing @ 6 months: TSH, A1c, progesterone, prolactin, SA, HSG all normal
BFP: 5/19/2016, M/C: 5/29/2016
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD 3//6/2017
Me: 42 | DH: 45
TTC since Dec. 2014
BFP #1 Oct. 2015 | MC Nov. 2015
Sept. 2016: FSH, AMH, E2, TSH, etc. all normal. | Oct. 2016: HSG all clear! | Nov. 2016: Hysteroscopy & H's SA both great results
Dec. 2016 - Follistim + TI
BFP #2 12/25/16 | Natural MC 2/13/17 | False BFP leads to D&C 4/20/17 | Emergency D&C + hysteroscopy 5/16/17
Husband: 40
TTC#1 since 9/2014
Unexplained Infertility - Trying naturally
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!
fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP!
Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)