Circumcision

marikkita12 · May 2016

alright ladies, this has been stressing me out hard core since the day I found out I'm team blue. (I posted about in in the team blue check in but realized many BTDT moms are team pink or green this time) Husband is adamant we do it but I'm not so sold on it. The idea of causing extra unnecessary pain to a tiny defenseless baby breaks my heart. Those of you with boys already, did you do it? Why or why not? How was the after care? According to a friend, her nephew cried for the first two weeks because peeing was painful. Please help me (and other blue team FTMs) be more at ease with this decision. Thanks in advance

Sbrown721 · May 2016

Following. I'm Team Green. I was on the fence about this. Fiance is absolutely adamant we do not circumcise. Midwife gave us a ton of info on why not to circumcise. Very interested in hearing from both viewpoints from you all!

pilotswifey · May 2016

We did it. We'll do it again. I really don't think it was a big deal for DS1. There have been a lot of studies done that show how well they respond to minimal pain in those early days. Do I want to be in the room when it happens? NO...But, it was important to my husband, and I think it worked out just fine in the end. He healed really well, and everything looks good now. The after care isn't bad, it just involves lots of Vaseline (or something similar) and gauze. It looked a little owie, but he didn't seem to care at all.

I don't think there's a perfect answer here. I see pros and cons on both sides. If it weren't important to my husband, I probably would have been more anti-circumcision...But I also work in a middle school and I know how stinky boys get at this age. It's one less thing for him to worry about when he's 12. (Or 25, or whatever...I think men are pretty self-conscious if they aren't circumcised.)

AMT1107 · May 2016

Similar to @pilotswifey my H wanted DS to have it done, so we had it done. Not that didn't care, but I didn't have a preference either way. DS healed really well, we used A&D cream at every diaper change and he never really seemed bothered by it.

COmama87 · May 2016

I let DH decide with DS and he chose to circumcise. Our pediatrician did it in his office. DS cried a lot for about 10 mins after, but not at all during (I was present during and a local anesthetic was used). After care was pretty simple (I believe we were instructed to just use vaseline or something similar and gauze to cover) and he healed pretty quickly and didn't cry during diaper changes. We are team pink this time, but if we were team blue I'm sure we would be doing it again.

erinmarie86 · May 2016

We did it for my LO. I honestly didn't do much research about the pro's and con's of it. My Husband was very adamant about it as well. Honestly, i think it could potentially be a complex for the guy down the road since it's very common here in the US to be circumcised (i'm not saying that's a legit enough reason to do it...it just happened to be part of our reason to do it).

We were able to have it done at my OBGYN i was not allowed to go back for the procedure but my husband could (i assume it's because mothers a little more emotional). My husband said the worst part was just trying to hold my son still for the procedure. After care was very simple, remove the bandage....apply Vaseline...for the first year continue to pull the skin back so it doesn't get stuck (found this out at one of the later pediatric appointments...they had to pull it back and it seemed to hurt my son a little but nothing too bad).

My son was fine...it didn't really seem to affect him at all...I'd like to know how your friend's nephew's parents knew that he was crying because it hurt to pee...honestly when a baby is that young (this procedure was done days after birth and can even been done while you are in the hospital) how do you know what they are really crying about.

Thurstobertay · May 2016

I didn't do it with my last two boys and I won't do it again this time. I haven't seen a medically compelling reason to do so, I don't have any cultural/traditional beliefs that lend themselves to it, and I don't necessarily feel like it's my decision to make. My husband is circumcised and he feels the same way, the closest possible justification would be family tradition but we're both iffy on following tradition for tradition's sake.

We have to make tough decisions for our kids all the time, but on something that's mainly cosmetic (with slight evidence for less STD risk, but I figure if they're not using condoms they're in for a bad time anyhow), I don't feel like there's enough of a reason for me to have their genitals altered.

OBMommy · May 2016

I assist with these all the time and I can assure you that babies are numb. They're given lidocaine and are crying because they're naked and can't move as much as from the actual procedure. Some babies don't even cry but most do, just like most do during a diaper change too. We had our son circumcised and would again. In the elderly, it often has to be done for hygiene reasons if it wasn't done as an infant and recovery is much worse then.

marajay6 · May 2016

Those of you with boys already, did you do it? Why or why not?

We choose not to do it. At first I didn't have a strong opinion so I was going to rely on my husband to make the call. He wanted us both to do the research and decide together. Neither of us have any cultural or religious reasons for opting for it, so we made the decision based on logic. We read about the pros and cons. From what I recall (strictly from memory so take with a grain of salt), benefits of circumcision includes lower rates of UTIs, reduced transmission of many STDs, and penile cancer. The decreased rate in UTIs is only significant in the first year or so. The reduction in STDs is negated by condoms and safe sex practices. And the reduction of penile cancer takes it from extremely rare to even more extremely rare. And many other benefits people cite for circumcision don't really apply since we have adequate hygiene (we don't live in a 3rd world country). The articles showed the various rates of improvement for these different conditions and it overall wasn't very much. Circumcision does come with some risks, most commonly a minor infection while it heals. There is also the incredibly low risk that there is a mis-cut that could result in excess scarring or deformities. From the articles my husband and I read, it seemed like the pros and cons cancel each other out and lead to an indecision. This conclusion makes a lot of sense considering how controversial the procedure is. My husband and I decided that for any optional surgical procedure, we wanted to be sure that the benefits outweighed the risk, so our son is uncircumcised.

TLDR: We did the research, considered the benefits vs risks and found them to be inconclusive, so we defaulted to opting out.

ETA: If my husband wanted it done, I would have consented and not done the research. I only became anti-circ after doing the research.

CRich15 · May 2016

We circumcised both boys as well. I didn't really have a preference and I don't even think we had much of a conversation about it. It was just one of those automatic decisions since DH is. They did both the boys before we even went home from the hospital. They took him to their little operating area and brought him back when it was done. Neither one of us was allowed to go watch or anything which I think is a good thing. Lots of Vaseline for like the first 2 weeks and for the love don't forget! I accidentally did during a late night diaper change and felt like the worst mother ever. DH still doesn't let me live it down.

RedMar · May 2016

DH was adamant about DS getting circumcised, mainly because he remembered certain boys getting teased in high school about having their foreskin.I think it's become more common for males to not be circumcised nowadays vs the 80s.

I agree with what PP stated as it's nearly impossible to target why a baby is crying as a newborn. Sometimes they just scream for no reason (why am I going through this again?).

ruemcclanahan · May 2016

We decided not to do it for the same reasons as previously mentioned. We just don't feel right altering our baby, without his consent, for no medical reason.

618mom22boys · May 2016

We did it with all 3 of my boys. The worst one was DS1 and that was because he was two months old when it happened.(he had low platelets at birth and couldn't be done right away.). His bled more than the other 2. The other two were fine as soon as it was over. If this one was a boy he would have it done as well.

BabyBoyH92016 · May 2016

I don't have a strong opinion either way, but my husband wants to do it. He said a little boy should look like his dad.

steminist · May 2016

We're team green, but will definitely not be circumcising if LO is a boy. DH is not, and he is adamant about it. As PPs mentioned, medical benefits are a wash at best and we have no cultural reason to do it. No shame to those who decide to do it and it is absolutely a personal decision, but I can't imagine any other circumstance where a similar elective cosmetic surgery would performed on a normal, healthy baby and be considered the "standard" practice. It just seems very unnecessary to me.

Tippy05 · May 2016

We did it with both boys and will again if this one is a boy. There wasn't much, if any, conversation about it. DH is and I pretty much left the decision up to him.

Both times was easy and quick and done before we left the hospital. The boys were taken out of the room for 5 or 10 minutes tops and we're done crying by the time they got back. Like others have said, lots of ointment and gauze for a little while and the occasional "pull-back" and that was it.

sunshinern96 · May 2016

I am a postpartum nurse so I see circumcisions every day I am at work! Like others have said, the area is numbed with lidocaine so the babies do not feel the procedure. We also give a sugar water called Sweet-ease slowly through a small syringe in baby's mouth and give pacifiers during the procedure. I don't know if all hospitals do this but the Sweet-ease actually works just as well as pain medication does for newborns, according to many studies. So between that and the lidocaine, they aren't in pain! It is a quick procedure, about 10 minutes usually at our hospital. We then keep the babies in the nursery for half an hour to watch for bleeding but every hospital is different so just ask the nurse what their policy is when you are there.

Afterwards, we just have mom or dad apply a squirt of Vaseline with every diaper change for the next 24-48 hours. We spend time with parents showing them how to do this and making sure they feel comfortable with the care. We also give Infant Tylenol every 4-6 hours for the next day as well, which really does help them with the pain. Most babies actually tend to be peaceful and sleepy for a few hours after the circ--the Tylenol just helps with the pain and really helps them relax. They are in some pain during diaper changes for probably the first day but after that, the area heals really quickly! By 2 days out most of the redness is gone and by 7-10 days out it is completely healed! We did circumcise our son with no issues and will do it again this time.

ETA--The American Academy of Pediatrics does state that the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks; however, there are not enough clear benefits for them to routinely recommend circumcision. There is a lot of info about this on their website. It really comes down to being a personal decision. We did it because DH is circumcised and felt strongly about it. If you or the baby's father don't feel strongly that it needs to be done, you really don't have to do it!

Cricket Bug · May 2016

I just wanted to thank you for asking this!! I am soaking up all of the responses...

Themaritimemama · May 2016

We didn't circumcise our first boy, and will not for this one either. My husband is not, and honestly, I've never seen a circumcised penis in person! I don't think it's a big thing around these parts in Canada, because I do know that it's considered elective, and there is a cost associated with otherwise "free" medical care.

No one in my family is circ'ed and as far as I know, no one has issues with STIs, UTIs or anything of the like.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

Team blue for time #2, #1 is circed and #2 will be as well, no question. Husband is and is Jewish (cultural belief for them).
This may sound odd, but I'll go there.. as a woman I prefer circumcised penises and it is by far the norm for where I live (new england).
The procedure was very easy with #1 it was done by my OB before we were discharged home after birth. He cried for a few minutes after and never again would I assume his tears were related at all to the area. We just covered it with a mountain of Vaseline each change and it healed very very quickly.

toimadness1 · May 2016

Both my boys are circumcised and had the plastibell procedure. There's no care involved, you just wait for the little blue ring to fall off. Neither had any issues or were fussy after the procedure. If anything they just seemed a little sleepier for the first couple hours after. My husband had a very strong opinion on them being circumcised and I don't really know anyone who isn't so it was never really a consideration not to do it.

homebird · May 2016

I was on the fence with Dd. Found some solid evidence in favor of curcumcisimg and solid evidence in favor of not. H was leaning more towards having him circumcised so we did. It's totally not my hill to die on, I don't know why people care so much about other boy's penises.

Cricket Bug · May 2016

@AnnaS930 What is it that caused your preference? I have only ever 'encountered' one that was uncircumcised and now I can't figure out whether my lingering negative impression is the the penis, or the man it was attached to...

Edited for clarity.

Blairbear28 · May 2016

The medical world is definitely leaning towards it being unnecessary. Why cause your baby pain at all for asthetic reasons? It is essentially saying your baby is not okay the way it is born. You wouldn't cut off a piece of your daughter for looks, why do we do it to our boys? The myths about circumcision being "cleaner" have been disproved. I would suggest watching the clip about circumcision on Youtube from the show Adam Ruins Everything wherein you will find a factual and yet lighthearted group of facts.

Thscary · May 2016

FTM, we will circ. It's the norm where we live, and I'd rather him look like everyone else. When I was on a NICU/peds clinical rotation in school I watched a handful of circumcisions and none of them seemed to cause much distress to the baby.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

@Cricket Bug - It's probably just what I'm used to because it is the "norm" in my area, but I just happen to find circumcised penises to be more attractive to me... I don't know if there's a definite reason probably just what I'm familiar with.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

@Blairbear28 so far I'd say this was a pretty respectful conversation, but your line of "It is essentially saying your baby is not okay the way it is born" is downright rude. I'm not in the mood to get into an argument but please read the tone of the thread and see that others, while strongly opinionated one way or the other have not made offensive statements.

My son was perfect the moment that he was born. Removing a piece of his foreskin did not make him any more or less so.

hey_clever_girl · May 2016

We will circumcise Jude. I don't have a penis, so I pretty much let my husband take the lead on this. I don't know what it's like having a penis, he does.

PJpeppercorn · May 2016

We've been on the fence. I just don't buy the argument that he needs to look like dad. I have larger breasts and if my daughter doesn't, I won't feel the need to get her a breast augmentation so she'll look like me. I know there are other advantages-- we just need to spend some time weighing them.

Also, just found this article this morning-- looks like the CDC is in favor... https://www.salon.com/2014/12/02/cdc_circumcision_is_a_very_good_idea/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

danielle1290 · May 2016

I am team pink this time, but with my son we did go for the circumcision, mostly because it is easier to keep clean and I'll admit, partly because it is the "norm." I know that not all babies react the same, but DS did very well with his, he did not cry until they were putting his diaper back on, and it didn't seem to bother him at all afterwards and healed up quickly.

AnnaS930 · May 2016

Also.. Emmett's cord stump falling off was more difficult to heal than the circumcision for those worried about the healing time... and that one's definitely not a decision. Blech.

jas1982 · May 2016

I was really against (because why do unnecessary medical procedures?) but I am now leaning toward doing it. A lot of the reason I didn't want to do it was because I felt like circumcision would lead to decreased penile sensitivity later, but it turns out that might not be true (also, I have never personally met a circumcised man with a not-sensitive-enough penis). Also, the slightly lower STD risk does sway me a little. And the idea that most of the boys around here are probably circumcised and I do not want my kid to feel like his genitals look weird does have some influence. Aaaaand the idea that if my kid is one of those kids who is really tough to make wash (I was a child you really had to coerce into bathing, I admit), there is a lower chance of an infection I might not catch until it's bad. I am really interested to read other peoples' pros and cons - thanks for posting!

AnnaS930 · May 2016

jas1982 said:

I was really against (because why do unnecessary medical procedures?) but I am now leaning toward doing it. A lot of the reason I didn't want to do it was because I felt like circumcision would lead to decreased penile sensitivity later, but it turns out that might not be true (also, I have never personally met a circumcised man with a not-sensitive-enough penis). Also, the slightly lower STD risk does sway me a little. And the idea that most of the boys around here are probably circumcised and I do not want my kid to feel like his genitals look weird does have some influence. Aaaaand the idea that if my kid is one of those kids who is really tough to make wash (I was a child you really had to coerce into bathing, I admit), there is a lower chance of an infection I might not catch until it's bad. I am really interested to read other peoples' pros and cons - thanks for posting!

This made me chuckle. I've always thought the same thing when I've heard that it can cause that.

KimmySchmidt · May 2016

I'm very team "leave this one parenting decision to my husband since he's the one with a peen"

PSUBecky23 · May 2016

A lot of your are choosing or chose to circumcise because that's the norm. (No judgment. I don't care what you do with your child's penis.) So it made me curious about the actual statistics. From a CDC report: Across the 32-year period from 1979 through 2010, the national rate of newborn circumcision declined 10% overall, from 64.5% to 58.3% During this time, the overall percentage of newborns circumcised during their birth hospitalization was highest in 1981 at 64.9%, and lowest in 2007 at 55.4%. However, rates fluctuated during this period, generally declining during the 1980s, rising in the 1990s, and declining again in the early years of the 21st century.

jas1982 · May 2016

@PSUBecky23 I think it is less common in the Western US and more common in Eastern? Something like that. The area we live in is very heavily Jewish, so I am thinking probably the norm here. Also the norm in my family, so cousins, dad, etc. (hopefully this child will not be seeing a lot of other grown men naked apart from dad, but other kids in family I could see being potentially nude). But that's a good point, there are a lot of places where it's much less common.

vampirina · May 2016

FTM here and we're team green, but DH wants to circumcise and the pros/cons seem pretty equal on both sides, so I let him have full say.

I'll also echo @AnnaS930's statement. As a lady a with a fondness for peens, I much prefer a circumcised penis. I've only seen two uncircumcised penis' and I wasn't really a fan. They weren't dirty or gross just, eh, not my preference I guess.

I also can't remember who those peens were attached to, so I'm going to go ahead and assume there was nothing wrong with the actual guy, besides being completely unmemorable (well besides their not-circed peen).

mom2adoodle · May 2016

DH wants to and so we will.

Flowr4246 · May 2016

We did it, because in my family and circle it's just what you do. (I've never even seen an uncirc'd penis.) They took Connor to the nursery and the procedure was performed by my OB, then he was monitored there for about an hour. He was gone for about an hour and a half, tops.

The nurse helped us with the first diaper change because she wanted to show us how to change the dressing, plus she said the first sight is the most alarming for new parents. It basically looked like raw red meat at that point, so I'm glad she was there. I probably would've freaked otherwise. BUT, my son never acted phased in the least. We used petroleum jelly on gauge squares on the tip of his penis at every diaper change for about a week. It was healed after that. He never acted uncomfortable or fussy at any point.

I understand that the thought of putting your baby through pain at any point is hard to get through mentally. And I'm not making a value judgment for or against circumcision with this next statement, but, he really will be too young to remember any of it. Your snuggles will be enough to get him through if that's the route you choose.

homebird · May 2016

What burns me up is when people (like a poster in this thread) act like male circumcision is practically child abuse. I feel like there are some really horrible things that people do to their children that we should all be rallying against. Male circumcision doesn't even touch my soapbox list.

There are reasons other than "to look like daddy" or "because I've never seen an uncircumcised penis" or whatever. Obviously some people disagree with the sources/studies that support circumcision, but not everyone considers it a "needless procedure" or cosmetic only.

Again, I could've been swayed either way. I read a lot of articles, and showed my husband the same sources. We made an informed decision. Also, interestingly enough, my son didn't flinch or even cry during the procedure. He just peed all over the doctor, lol.

I just don't appreciate the nasty tone that some people take with discussions like this. Thankfully most of this thread has been surprisingly polite.

bunnymay · May 2016

We're still on the fence. The biggest reason, for now, that makes me lean towards doing it is because if he needs to have it done for a medical reasons when he's an adult, it's much more traumatic. Also, I've heard some experiences from nurses who've worked with elderly men who were not circumcised about them getting infections when they couldn't clean themselves.

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