1. For second time Moms who nursed the first time, nursing was soooo much easier the second time around. You just have to teach baby. You already know what you are doing. 2. Nursing is like getting a callous. It's going to hurt a bit. 3. If your sore at the beginning, sleep on towels (for leaking) and braless. Also, don't be afraid to leave the room and nurse in a private room away from everybody. If it hurts, pop baby off and try again. 4. I watched a lot of more experienced people handle my baby in the beginning to learn to burp, how to hold baby, etc. 5. For both kids, it was overwhelming coming home but the feeling only lasted, for me, a little bit. 6. My first was not that busy in the beginning, newborns sleep A LOT (like about 20 hours a day) so I had more "free time" (different than pre kid) than a really expected. 7. You don't know what labour and delivery for YOU is going to be like until you get there. Sure, read the books and be prepared but that doesn't mean you're going to be textbook. Ex. I had early labour contractions 5 mins apart and was only 2cm when I got to the hospital. 7a. Your first labour doesn't dictate your second labour doesn't dictate your 3rd labour, etc. 8. If an epidural scares you, you're probably not ready for it. Ex. I think, for me, a working epidural was a big part in me having a VBAC.
Daughter #1 - Feb 2012 Daughter #2 - Oct 2014 Daughter #3 - Nov 2016 Baby #4 - Sept 2018
^^ yes! Number 3 and 5 especially! Also every delivery is so different reading is great but ultimately the medical degrees run that show and that's ok that's why they have medical degrees! For my first I was in labor for 3 hours and when I got the hospital I was 8cm and within ten minutes I was pushing.
Just try try to enjoy the ride and do what works for you and baby!
I also want to report how much indecency doesn't matter when delivering. Everyone and there mother wants to check to see how dialated your cervix is? Great! Just tell me we're almost done lol. You pooped on the table? That was a fear before giving birth? No one cares when it's time for the baby to come. Also, like 75% of moms poop. When I was a medical student I was surprised that almost everyone did. It's cleaned up so fast by the nurses that if you're not paying attention you'd miss it.
Check yo nipples! I thought they hurt from breastfeeding, but I had a clogged duct. Sometimes the skin grows over one duct and looks like a pimple, so you have to use a needle to remove the skin. It's excruciating. It took me a couple of painful days to realize I could take a needle to it. Kellymom is the best resource ever.
The biggest thing I dealt with that no one really warned me of was sex after birth. I was NOT interested for a long long time postpartum and felt like a huge jerk to my husband. Breastfeeding made my hormones crazy and the last thing I felt was sexy. My husband was really understanding but I still have to work making intimacy a thing in our relationship. Date nights are important.
Nap when they nap. Really. It's the only way to stay sane.
If you plan on breastfeeding, newborn babies aren't very efficient at feeding and it can take a long time to nurse. Always have entertainment (book, phone, TV, etc.), food and water nearby.
Babywear - DS loved being held, so I wore him to do chores around the house in between feeding and naps.
Agree on the witching hour - DH felt like he did something wrong when he came home because the baby would always melt down around 5. They get overstimulated really easily. Try to reduce the "chaos" around the house in the evening if at all possible.
DS1: 12/17/2014 DS2: born sleeping at 26 weeks on 8/8/2016 due to chromosomal deletion Pregnant with baby 3 - EDD 9/14/2017
It is okay to kick people out of your house/say no to visits. I didn't want people around for the first few weeks...this included most family members. It was hard enough trying to establish nursing/recover from c-section/have a tiny baby!!!! I wish someone would have told me that it doesn't make you mean to say 'no'. Instead, I would hide in my room and cry while DD got passed around! Not doing that again!
Married since Jan 2013 Sweet DD born at 41 weeks Feb 2015 *Diagnosed with lean PCOS* TWINS due 11/22/2016
Take as many of those underwear ice packs and pairs of disposable underwear from the hospital as you can find. Or just order more on Amazon. I did both. I couldn't fall asleep without those ice packs for weeks.
Pack at least a basic hospital bag (a pair of sweatpants, a hair elastic, a toothbrush, whatever you think you'll need) and just throw it in the car around 36 weeks. You can add things as you think of them. I went in for an appointment at 37 weeks and was surprised to be told I had to be induced that day. I was so glad I had some comfy pants with me to put on.
Also I second @banfrog's suggestion of having a bunch of frozen meals ready for when baby arrives. I had no energy to cook (or do much of anything else) for weeks.
This. I was told unexpectedly I had to be induced and my husband had to leave me, go home and get our stuff. I hated being alone for two hours.
First I would say if you are a FTM, enjoy this time you have with ur hubby/partner before the baby comes. Go to the movies, dinner dates, sleeping in!!! Go grocery shopping, walk down ever isle at Target! Haven get a baby is by far the most amazing thing but it definitely changes ur life even if you are ready! Keep busy as ur due date approaches! Waiting is the worst! I was in the hospital for 3 nights...the first night I was in labor...I was absolutely exhausted when I got home! I felt a huge rush being at the hospital with visitors then coming home it hit me how tired I was. Try to take a shower every day, easier said then done sometimes. Once you are comfortable, get out of the house!! My hubby and I took our daughter out to lunch when she was a week old. It was so rewarding putting on makeup and getting out! And it was good for my hubby to see we can do fun things after having babies. She goes with us everywhere. She has adapted to our life. I remember the first real hug my hubby and I had after the baby...it's crazy what an emotional experience u go through and it's all about the baby. Hug ur hubby/partner. Hold their hand while watching tv. Be close, lean on each other. breastfeeding for me was the most demanding thing I've ever done. You can't really prepare for it, it's amazing and exhausting at the same time. Babies also cluster feed, basically plan sitting on ur couch (get Netflix if U don't already have it) and feed ur baby all..day...long...no joke. And know everything is a phase!! I wish someone told me when I had a newborn. You will get through it and it's all worth is!
I thought of another one. Don't get a fancy high chair. You are going to have to clean smeared applesauce, yogurt, and sweet potato puree out of that thing 5 times a day for forever. Hard plastic is your friend. Better yet, skip the high chair entirely and get a booster seat if you're following the latest advice to wait on solids until baby can sit independently. DS still isn't a civilized eater at 21 months so it's been 15 months of cleaning his booster seat multiple times a day.
I thought of another one. Don't get a fancy high chair. You are going to have to clean smeared applesauce, yogurt, and sweet potato puree out of that thing 5 times a day for forever. Hard plastic is your friend. Better yet, skip the high chair entirely and get a booster seat if you're following the latest advice to wait on solids until baby can sit independently. DS still isn't a civilized eater at 21 months so it's been 15 months of cleaning his booster seat multiple times a day.
IKEA has an awesome simple all plastic high chair for $20...maybe they are $25 now. Can't recommend enough. I think it's called the antilope.
Wow, everyone is putting in really good advice. Some of the things I wish I knew the first time around were:
-I really needed something to eat going into the delivery room. My water broke around 1am and as soon as it broke we had to go to the hospital so I could be hooked up to an IV. I wish I would have made DH get me a bagel or something. I think I was more exhausted at the end of labour (12 hrs) because I hadn't eaten anything.
-DS didn't want to breastfeed in the beginning. We had a hard time getting him to latch. Breastfeeding was always kind of weird for me. You hear about so many people saying how beautiful and bonding it is, but I don't know if I ever got used to it - it felt weird, my nipples chaffed and I got engorged, which brings me to my next point...
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
-As others have said, watch out for PPD. It comes without you even knowing. DH was worried about me in the hospital so he checked with one of the nurses and she gave him some good advice to help me cope the first few weeks. I didn't get diagnosed with PPD, but I definitely didn't feel myself, and I didn't realize it would take a few months to feel somewhat normal again.
-I was always pretty good at asking for help if I thought I needed it, and both our families were really good at giving help when we asked, so we were blessed with that.
-We made a bunch of freezer meals my last month or so of pregnancy and ate those up the first few weeks. Totally doing that again because you won't have the energy to cook anything. Try not to worry about dishes/housework either. It's hard and I struggled with everyone wanting to come over and see the baby when my house looked like a tornado went through, but its not at all worth stressing over.
-Once you're done with breastfeeding and need to get your milk to dry up put cabbage leaves in your bra. I know... Totally weird, but it works!! I have no idea why, but it definitely felt nice to have the cold leaves against my sore boobs.
Enjoy your little one and take pictures and video when you can looking back it is a wonderful time, but at the time, and through all the zombie-mom-sleeplessness, I can be hard to think so.
Yes! ^ Eat something before you go to the hospital, for the love of God. I had all these plans to eat something and yet when it was time to go, that was the last thing I was worried about. I was excited, anxious, and the adrenaline was too high, and I didn't eat. So I ended up goin over 24 hours without food by the time my son came, and I consequently fainted a few minutes after he was born. I'm planning on forcing myself to eat something before we leave, and bringing a thermos of chicken soup this time, just in case.
Oh and I legit got a diaper rash bc I bleed like forever after his birth and I got so many yeast infections (I had never had a single one before my son arrived).
Your body chemistry may change. You may need to get a stronger deodorant. And I nursing always made me need to poop.
Oh and I legit got a diaper rash bc I bleed like forever after his birth and I got so many yeast infections (I had never had a single one before my son arrived).
Your body chemistry may change. You may need to get a stronger deodorant. And I nursing always made me need to poop.
For real? That sucks! Like you're halfway through a feed and then you had to bring baby into the bathroom with you every time? I had that happen once or twice and it's so inconvenient.
It's so disgusting but it's just one of those things that ends up having to happen and you're like, "what the hell happened to me? is this really happening? WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!"
Oh and I legit got a diaper rash bc I bleed like forever after his birth and I got so many yeast infections (I had never had a single one before my son arrived).
Your body chemistry may change. You may need to get a stronger deodorant. And I nursing always made me need to poop.
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
Just want to say - Don't buy a breast pump. They are eligible DME supplies via insurance. Also, I suggest consulting a IBCLC lactation consultant before pumping prior to 4-6 weeks. It can cause a nasty oversupply for some mamas and/or skipping a feeding to give a bottle can cause supply issues for some.
A few weeks before you're due date go through slow cooker freezer meals and casseroles on pinterest and make enough to last at least a month. It seems like a lot of work but it will so be worth it when you're sleep deprived and starving. Plus it's a good way to make sure you're still eating healthy.
If you are planning to formula feed then you can meal prep. Gather all the bottles and put 2 ounces of baby water in them and keep the formula next to them.
Get Velcro swaddles, they're amazing.
Get baby mittens because their nails will scratch no matter how short you trim them.
And socks.
If you are doing daycare find one you love and get a spot reserved now. The good ones are a pain to get in.
What else? Everyone else has said about the pads and seriously, you'll need as many as possible.
I guess just make sure you have a ton of food to snack on too. Get a few books to read or movies to watch because maternity leave is seriously boring.
Hahaha @TwandaFTG@LikeICantEven and @Katemr1146 I thought I was the only one!!! This was like a regular thing for me. No way could I wait the 45 minutes it took to nurse my few week old son to get to the toilet! I remember the first time I was so hesitant and then finally I was just like, we're doing this kid!!!
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
Just want to say - Don't buy a breast pump. They are eligible DME supplies via insurance. Also, I suggest consulting a IBCLC lactation consultant before pumping prior to 4-6 weeks. It can cause a nasty oversupply for some mamas and/or skipping a feeding to give a bottle can cause supply issues for some.
Must be different where I live. They wanted me to pump right away (when I was at the hospital) since my son wasn't latching. I'm not sure if I could have put the BP through my insurance or not.
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
Just want to say - Don't buy a breast pump. They are eligible DME supplies via insurance. Also, I suggest consulting a IBCLC lactation consultant before pumping prior to 4-6 weeks. It can cause a nasty oversupply for some mamas and/or skipping a feeding to give a bottle can cause supply issues for some.
Must be different where I live. They wanted me to pump right away (when I was at the hospital) since my son wasn't latching. I'm not sure if I could have put the BP through my insurance or not.
It's a federal law meaning if you live in the US, insurance covers your bp. Insurance does not cover hospital grade pumps like the ones in the NICU however. You can rent these for around $100 a month and submit the bills to see what they'll pay or use a pre tax health care spending account to par for it retroactively.
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
Just want to say - Don't buy a breast pump. They are eligible DME supplies via insurance. Also, I suggest consulting a IBCLC lactation consultant before pumping prior to 4-6 weeks. It can cause a nasty oversupply for some mamas and/or skipping a feeding to give a bottle can cause supply issues for some.
Must be different where I live. They wanted me to pump right away (when I was at the hospital) since my son wasn't latching. I'm not sure if I could have put the BP through my insurance or not.
A baby not latching is an entirely different issue. For those who are not having this issue, pumping early can pose problems. As pp said, pump coverage via insurance is a federal law.
Oh and I legit got a diaper rash bc I bleed like forever after his birth and I got so many yeast infections (I had never had a single one before my son arrived).
Your body chemistry may change. You may need to get a stronger deodorant. And I nursing always made me need to poop.
For real? That sucks! Like you're halfway through a feed and then you had to bring baby into the bathroom with you every time? I had that happen once or twice and it's so inconvenient.
@DunkinDecaf I think most times I could hold it but others it was extremely urgent. But I only nurse for 6 weeks bc my milk never really came in and my son was failing to thrive. But it just did something to my body when he nursed. It was so weird!
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
Just want to say - Don't buy a breast pump. They are eligible DME supplies via insurance. Also, I suggest consulting a IBCLC lactation consultant before pumping prior to 4-6 weeks. It can cause a nasty oversupply for some mamas and/or skipping a feeding to give a bottle can cause supply issues for some.
Must be different where I live. They wanted me to pump right away (when I was at the hospital) since my son wasn't latching. I'm not sure if I could have put the BP through my insurance or not.
A baby not latching is an entirely different issue. For those who are not having this issue, pumping early can pose problems. As pp said, pump coverage via insurance is a federal law.
Ok, as it was a latching issue a pump was great, but I can understand that if your baby is feeding regularly it could pose problems. The dr/nurse should be able to help with any of this advice before a new mom leaves the hospital anyway.
I live in Canada and I didn't try to put my bp through my health insurance. Although, it may have covered it.
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
Just want to say - Don't buy a breast pump. They are eligible DME supplies via insurance. Also, I suggest consulting a IBCLC lactation consultant before pumping prior to 4-6 weeks. It can cause a nasty oversupply for some mamas and/or skipping a feeding to give a bottle can cause supply issues for some.
Must be different where I live. They wanted me to pump right away (when I was at the hospital) since my son wasn't latching. I'm not sure if I could have put the BP through my insurance or not.
It's a federal law meaning if you live in the US, insurance covers your bp. Insurance does not cover hospital grade pumps like the ones in the NICU however. You can rent these for around $100 a month and submit the bills to see what they'll pay or use a pre tax health care spending account to par for it retroactively.
Thanks. I live in Canada. I think I could have tried to put my bp through my health insurance, but didn't bother. It was only about $100 to buy (if I remember correctly) and, at the time, I would have said it was worth every penny anyway... lol
My big shocker after coming home was that even though I was no longer pregnant, I still couldn't sleep on my stomach (too uncomfortable if breastfeeding) and still couldn't freely have a glass of wine depending on when I had to pump/nurse next. The two things I'd most been looking forward to going back to!!
One thing I just told a friend today was about the 4 in 1 cribs. Realize that they also have toddler rail conversion kits and full size bed conversion kits. They can be semi-expensive and cost just as much as buying a separate toddler bed and then separate full/twin bed.
My son's is now in the full size and he loves his, so I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying know that there are extra costs. Also, we bought ours and found out almost too late that our crib was later discontinued making the conversion kit more expensive.
My big shocker after coming home was that even though I was no longer pregnant, I still couldn't sleep on my stomach (too uncomfortable if breastfeeding) and still couldn't freely have a glass of wine depending on when I had to pump/nurse next. The two things I'd most been looking forward to going back to!!
You can freely have a glass of wine! One glass is going to do nothing. You blood alcohol percentage is the same percentage of alcohol in your milk. You'd seriously have to be puking your brains out for it to make a difference.
My big shocker after coming home was that even though I was no longer pregnant, I still couldn't sleep on my stomach (too uncomfortable if breastfeeding) and still couldn't freely have a glass of wine depending on when I had to pump/nurse next. The two things I'd most been looking forward to going back to!!
You can freely have a glass of wine! One glass is going to do nothing. You blood alcohol percentage is the same percentage of alcohol in your milk. You'd seriously have to be puking your brains out for it to make a difference.
I don't think the bolded is true. I've also heard that your blood alcohol percentage is about the same as the percentage in your milk, but I think it does make a difference because the other person consuming it is tiny. One glass probably won't hurt, but there's a big difference (for most people) between the amount that could harm a baby and the amount that would have you puking your brains out.
edited because spelling is hard and then again because numbers are hard.
My big shocker after coming home was that even though I was no longer pregnant, I still couldn't sleep on my stomach (too uncomfortable if breastfeeding) and still couldn't freely have a glass of wine depending on when I had to pump/nurse next. The two things I'd most been looking forward to going back to!!
You can freely have a glass of wine! One glass is going to do nothing. You blood alcohol percentage is the same percentage of alcohol in your milk. You'd seriously have to be puking your brains out for it to make a difference.
I don't think the bolded is true. I've also heard that your blood alcohol percentage is about the same as the percentage in your milk, but I think it does make a difference because the other person consuming it is tiny. One glass probably won't hurt, but there's a big difference (for most people) between the amount that could harm a baby and the amount that would have you puking your brains out.
edited because spelling is hard and then again because numbers are hard.
My personal feeling is to avoid, but I'm not a big drinker as it is. When baby is much, much older and their feedings are spaced a little, I feel a bit more comfortable. I wouldn't feel comfortable nursing when tipsy, and that certainly is well before "puking my brains out".
One thing I just told a friend today was about the 4 in 1 cribs. Realize that they also have toddler rail conversion kits and full size bed conversion kits. They can be semi-expensive and cost just as much as buying a separate toddler bed and then separate full/twin bed.
My son's is now in the full size and he loves his, so I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying know that there are extra costs. Also, we bought ours and found out almost too late that our crib was later discontinued making the conversion kit more expensive.
This! We bought everything at the beginning but now we need a crib and have more full size beds than I know what to do with....
I didn't read all the posts, but the advice I try to give new moms-to-be is to stay in bed as long as you like! I was super fortunate to have a baby who nursed fairly easily and a husband who was able to be home with me, and I credit both of those things to my lovely post-partum experience, but also to the fact that my daily agenda was this: hold my baby. For weeks we didn't leave the house before noon, and often we'd wake up, nurse, take care of the dog, be in bed for a while and then all fall back asleep until around 10 am, when DH would then go downstairs and make a hearty breakfast and we'd watch shows and enjoy our baby. We purposefully left our schedule wide open so that resting and caring for our baby was the only thing on our "to do" list for the day. It was dreamy!
It will for sure be different this time, with a toddler and a very high energy puppy (last time or dog was a sweet old guy!), but DH and I are (thankfully!) on the same page that my main goal with the baby is to rest, bond and learn to nurse. He took care of all the house (but with only two adults and ample "free" time, that a pretty easy job!) and we really, really enjoyed our first few weeks as a family of three!
Some other gems I picked up along the way: Earth Mama Angel Baby Mama Bottom Balm Diaper station downstairs/in living room Safeway grocery delivery Breast milk as a layer of "protection" on your nipples
oh wow I'm a stm but this is a pretty cool thread to read through.
I think my best piece of advice would be prepare for the worst but absolutely expect the BEST! I got ALOT of advice and warnings during pregnancy and post partum about what was to come. It was almost ALL BAD! I was warned of All sorts of pregnancy symptoms that I never once experienced. I was warned about how awful breastfeeding would be and it wasn't for me. I'm not saying pregnancy or post partum were a cake walk but overall both were great. So I encourage new moms to anticipate the good and it will be easier to recognize it in their lives than focusing on all the potential bad things that may not happen.
That being said, I'm a huge believer in being prepared! I highly recommend coconut oil to help with dry nipples when breast feeding. I used the lanolin creams a little bit but for the most part the coconut oil kept my boobies in great shape. I was totally surprised by how extremely messy breast feeding is! NO ONE warned me at all that while breastfeeding baby on the right side the left side would leak and ruin your bra or shirt if you didn't wear breast pads. And when baby decides to unlatch, the flow doesn't always stop! Lovely milk spray all over baby and you, lol. Although I'm not sure if that happens for everyone, I think I had oversupply.
I had milk spray everywhere! I found some on my headboard when we were moving - and I hadn't nursed in a year!
My big shocker after coming home was that even though I was no longer pregnant, I still couldn't sleep on my stomach (too uncomfortable if breastfeeding) and still couldn't freely have a glass of wine depending on when I had to pump/nurse next. The two things I'd most been looking forward to going back to!!
You can freely have a glass of wine! One glass is going to do nothing. You blood alcohol percentage is the same percentage of alcohol in your milk. You'd seriously have to be puking your brains out for it to make a difference.
I don't think the bolded is true. I've also heard that your blood alcohol percentage is about the same as the percentage in your milk, but I think it does make a difference because the other person consuming it is tiny. One glass probably won't hurt, but there's a big difference (for most people) between the amount that could harm a baby and the amount that would have you puking your brains out.
edited because spelling is hard and then again because numbers are hard.
I followed the rule that if I was safe to drive, I was safe to feed. This was the general rule from many breastfeeding groups I was apart of.
1- As for advice, there will be times that you question what you were thinking having a child and you'll wonder if you're really cut out to be a mom. It's all normal. It's hard not to think you're doing something wrong when this little baby is screaming no matter what you do. 2- Breastfeeding is hard. Not all babies latch well and within a couple weeks, your nipples will bleed and the thought of baby latching will make you want to cry but your body and nipples adjust and it gets better. A good lactation consultant or breastfeeding group is an amazing resource to have. 3- I knew I would be waking several times a night and with every kid, I'm always surprised on the toll it takes on me. It's okay to ask for a night off so you can catch up on sleep. 4- You can be dilated for weeks before labor actually starts and contractions pre water breaking feel like period cramps. I took a mile walk the night before my water broke and I thought the cramps were because I did too much. They weren't. 5- Some babies are great sleepers and some won't sleep at night for anything. My second STTN at 6 weeks and my first had to be sleep trained at 7 months because he was waking every 45 minutes. You may have friends/family talk about what they did and how great their child slept. Don't feed into it and wonder what you're doing wrong. Some kids just don't sleep well.
@Greencows4812 sorry don't mean to correct you but did you mean if you were safe to drive then you were safe to feed? I've heard that before which I think is a reasonable sounding rule.
Re: Nitty Gritty Advice for FTM
2. Nursing is like getting a callous. It's going to hurt a bit.
3. If your sore at the beginning, sleep on towels (for leaking) and braless. Also, don't be afraid to leave the room and nurse in a private room away from everybody. If it hurts, pop baby off and try again.
4. I watched a lot of more experienced people handle my baby in the beginning to learn to burp, how to hold baby, etc.
5. For both kids, it was overwhelming coming home but the feeling only lasted, for me, a little bit.
6. My first was not that busy in the beginning, newborns sleep A LOT (like about 20 hours a day) so I had more "free time" (different than pre kid) than a really expected.
7. You don't know what labour and delivery for YOU is going to be like until you get there. Sure, read the books and be prepared but that doesn't mean you're going to be textbook. Ex. I had early labour contractions 5 mins apart and was only 2cm when I got to the hospital.
7a. Your first labour doesn't dictate your second labour doesn't dictate your 3rd labour, etc.
8. If an epidural scares you, you're probably not ready for it. Ex. I think, for me, a working epidural was a big part in me having a VBAC.
Daughter #2 - Oct 2014
Daughter #3 - Nov 2016
Baby #4 - Sept 2018
Just try try to enjoy the ride and do what works for you and baby!
Nap when they nap. Really. It's the only way to stay sane.
If you plan on breastfeeding, newborn babies aren't very efficient at feeding and it can take a long time to nurse. Always have entertainment (book, phone, TV, etc.), food and water nearby.
Babywear - DS loved being held, so I wore him to do chores around the house in between feeding and naps.
Agree on the witching hour - DH felt like he did something wrong when he came home because the baby would always melt down around 5. They get overstimulated really easily. Try to reduce the "chaos" around the house in the evening if at all possible.
DS1: 12/17/2014
DS2: born sleeping at 26 weeks on 8/8/2016 due to chromosomal deletion
Pregnant with baby 3 - EDD 9/14/2017
Sweet DD born at 41 weeks Feb 2015
*Diagnosed with lean PCOS*
TWINS due 11/22/2016
Wow, everyone is putting in really good advice. Some of the things I wish I knew the first time around were:
-I really needed something to eat going into the delivery room. My water broke around 1am and as soon as it broke we had to go to the hospital so I could be hooked up to an IV. I wish I would have made DH get me a bagel or something. I think I was more exhausted at the end of labour (12 hrs) because I hadn't eaten anything.
-DS didn't want to breastfeed in the beginning. We had a hard time getting him to latch. Breastfeeding was always kind of weird for me. You hear about so many people saying how beautiful and bonding it is, but I don't know if I ever got used to it - it felt weird, my nipples chaffed and I got engorged, which brings me to my next point...
-BUY A BREAST PUMP. It was a lifesaver. I had been using one in the hospital and when I got home DS still didn't want to feed as much as I apparently needed him to and I got engorged. Such terrible pain and having to deal with soaking my boobs in a hot bath, while trying to heal the rest of my body and running on no sleep was just awful. Once I got the pump I started getting the excess milk off and it was so much easier (plus, we had milk for 1am feedings that my wonderful DH would sometimes take to let me sleep a little longer).
-As others have said, watch out for PPD. It comes without you even knowing. DH was worried about me in the hospital so he checked with one of the nurses and she gave him some good advice to help me cope the first few weeks. I didn't get diagnosed with PPD, but I definitely didn't feel myself, and I didn't realize it would take a few months to feel somewhat normal again.
-I was always pretty good at asking for help if I thought I needed it, and both our families were really good at giving help when we asked, so we were blessed with that.
-We made a bunch of freezer meals my last month or so of pregnancy and ate those up the first few weeks. Totally doing that again because you won't have the energy to cook anything. Try not to worry about dishes/housework either. It's hard and I struggled with everyone wanting to come over and see the baby when my house looked like a tornado went through, but its not at all worth stressing over.
-Once you're done with breastfeeding and need to get your milk to dry up put cabbage leaves in your bra. I know... Totally weird, but it works!! I have no idea why, but it definitely felt nice to have the cold leaves against my sore boobs.
Enjoy your little one and take pictures and video when you can
looking back it is a wonderful time, but at the time, and through all the zombie-mom-sleeplessness, I can be hard to think so.
Oh and I legit got a diaper rash bc I bleed like forever after his birth and I got so many yeast infections (I had never had a single one before my son arrived).
Your body chemistry may change. You may need to get a stronger deodorant. And I nursing always made me need to poop.
It's so disgusting but it's just one of those things that ends up having to happen and you're like, "what the hell happened to me? is this really happening? WHAT HAVE I BECOME?!"
If you are planning to formula feed then you can meal prep. Gather all the bottles and put 2 ounces of baby water in them and keep the formula next to them.
Get Velcro swaddles, they're amazing.
Get baby mittens because their nails will scratch no matter how short you trim them.
And socks.
If you are doing daycare find one you love and get a spot reserved now. The good ones are a pain to get in.
What else? Everyone else has said about the pads and seriously, you'll need as many as possible.
I guess just make sure you have a ton of food to snack on too. Get a few books to read or movies to watch because maternity leave is seriously boring.
Must be different where I live. They wanted me to pump right away (when I was at the hospital) since my son wasn't latching. I'm not sure if I could have put the BP through my insurance or not.
As pp said, pump coverage via insurance is a federal law.
@DunkinDecaf I think most times I could hold it but others it was extremely urgent. But I only nurse for 6 weeks bc my milk never really came in and my son was failing to thrive. But it just did something to my body when he nursed. It was so weird!
Ok, as it was a latching issue a pump was great, but I can understand that if your baby is feeding regularly it could pose problems. The dr/nurse should be able to help with any of this advice before a new mom leaves the hospital anyway.
I live in Canada and I didn't try to put my bp through my health insurance. Although, it may have covered it.
Thanks. I live in Canada. I think I could have tried to put my bp through my health insurance, but didn't bother. It was only about $100 to buy (if I remember correctly) and, at the time, I would have said it was worth every penny anyway... lol
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers]
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers]
My son's is now in the full size and he loves his, so I'm not saying don't do it. I'm saying know that there are extra costs. Also, we bought ours and found out almost too late that our crib was later discontinued making the conversion kit more expensive.
edited because spelling is hard
and then again because numbers are hard.
It will for sure be different this time, with a toddler and a very high energy puppy (last time or dog was a sweet old guy!), but DH and I are (thankfully!) on the same page that my main goal with the baby is to rest, bond and learn to nurse. He took care of all the house (but with only two adults and ample "free" time, that a pretty easy job!) and we really, really enjoyed our first few weeks as a family of three!
Some other gems I picked up along the way:
Earth Mama Angel Baby Mama Bottom Balm
Diaper station downstairs/in living room
Safeway grocery delivery
Breast milk as a layer of "protection" on your nipples
Edited because words
2- Breastfeeding is hard. Not all babies latch well and within a couple weeks, your nipples will bleed and the thought of baby latching will make you want to cry but your body and nipples adjust and it gets better. A good lactation consultant or breastfeeding group is an amazing resource to have.
3- I knew I would be waking several times a night and with every kid, I'm always surprised on the toll it takes on me. It's okay to ask for a night off so you can catch up on sleep.
4- You can be dilated for weeks before labor actually starts and contractions pre water breaking feel like period cramps. I took a mile walk the night before my water broke and I thought the cramps were because I did too much. They weren't.
5- Some babies are great sleepers and some won't sleep at night for anything. My second STTN at 6 weeks and my first had to be sleep trained at 7 months because he was waking every 45 minutes. You may have friends/family talk about what they did and how great their child slept. Don't feed into it and wonder what you're doing wrong. Some kids just don't sleep well.
Sorry I rambled.