TTC After a Loss

Waiting to O : May edition

Hey ladies! 

This is the place to post your vents, thoughts and questions as they pertain to the waiting to ovulate portion of your cycle.

Feel free to ask for advice, seek support, lament etc. We all now how long and crazy-making this part can be.

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Re: Waiting to O : May edition

  • Well, I am not yet, technically "waiting to O", but more like waiting for AF. I was on progesterone following my IUI, but stopped it on Friday night before beta, as I was pretty confident I wasn't actually pregnant. Beta yesterday confirmed, blah. I am gearing up for a natural cycle before starting IVF stims. I am committed to giving it my all this cycle and am ready to get this show on the road. 

  • @BornReady I'm with you on mostly waiting for AF. I have been benched this cycle, worried one made it through but now certain it didn't. Period should be here tomorrow or Tuesday then I'm back waiting for O and giving it full gusto tries. I am getting sick of all this I'm between Bulls*%?
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  • @BornReady I'm so sorry about your beta. 

    Im so with you ladies about moving forward. 

    FF gave me crosshairs and supposedly I'm 14 dpo but got a stark white negative on an FRER today. Didn't expect a positive, so I'm ok with it. However, I'm not ok with 8 weeks of no AF. Hoping to get some Provera this week. The earliest I can see the OB is Friday, so hopefully AF shows by then on her own. I'm over it. Ready to be WTO!
  • @BornReady sorry about your beta. I am likely triggering Saturday night. At least I'll be able to relax the next day, as the stims plus trigger can have pretty intense bloating and cramps for me. 
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • @BornReady Ugh, sorry to hear about your beta.

    TW - loss mentioned

    It's CD 5 for me, and I'm pretty regular - average cycle length varies between 28-32 days. I was surprised to see it regulate so quickly following my D&C in December. It was one of the few bright spots in an otherwise dark time. (Trying to count my blessings or what have you.)
    This is our 5th cycle TTCAL. My EDD would have been in June, and at first, it was extremely important to me that I be KU by then. Now that it's May, and nothing has happened, I'm feeling oddly... not serene, but... a feeling of acceptance? I'd say resignation, but I don't think it's that negative of an emotion. If I'm not KU by June, I'm just not KU by June. There's no amount of crying that'll make it happen. It took me 7 months to get KU with my first (which was my miscarriage), so I'm just going to have to be patient.
    Onwards and upwards, right? :wink: 
  • @dubcompanion I'll have whatever you're having with that acceptance. I am also a June EDD and am trying to find that accepting place in my heart, but failing.
  • @BornReady I wish I could say it has something to do with meditation or yoga. In reality, it's basically:
    - 1-part daily distractions (be it my job, outings, or hobbies)
    - 1-part denial (This has been an issue of mine, and I'm working on it; becoming more involved with this board is one of the ways I'm facing what I've had to go through in a healthier manner.)
    - 1-part carpe diem. I try to enjoy what I have at the present and focus on that. It's not easy and a LOT of times I feel like I'm BS-ing myself, but it does get me to enjoy the meal I'm eating, the friends I have, and the job I love. Today isn't what I'd imagined it being (I'm supposed to be a friggin' whale at this point and good-naturedly complaining about it), but I try to reason that reality's present still has value. 

    We'll see what June brings. This board may be a lifeline for me around then, even more so than it has been.


  • @Spartanrd4 - Go get 'em, tiger! I'd be lying if I said I don't enjoy peak fertility weeks. :wink: 
  • I'm on CD4 I think - I had heavy spotting two days before what I'm counting as CD1... Progesterone levels on suspected CD6 came back normal, and I have a requisition for CD3 bloodwork but between not being sure of my cycle day and feeling overwhelmed with life and work (DH and I are having some issues that involve me identifying and working on values and beliefs (I'm seeing a social worker to help me with that a bit), plus an interview in San Antonio (which involves assessing whether we'd actually want to move there or if it would be too much of a shock moving from Canada), and then teaching 2 classes but in a double pace term... I can do it but the relationship issue is very stressful). So I decided to skip the bloodwork and instead slept in. Without an appointment I'd either need to go in for something like 6:30 and/or wait an hour or two for a single vial blood draw.

    With life so crazy and overwhelming I wonder about still TTC because pregnancy and a child will make life busier and more complex, but I figure there will always be something that makes life complex - that there is never a "good" time...

    This month I'm thinking of using OPKs - I think I might have a slow rise pattern that isn't being regularly recognized by FF. I've had a few people chart stalk me - but if anyone is willing to take a look (or a first look) and see if they see what others have noticed I'd be appreciative. I've got a link in the signature - and I think there might be a slow rise in the Oct 31 cycle (BFP warning), Feb 23, Mar 20 and the Apr 14 cycles. Then comes the decision of what type of test to use - I need something straight forward so I'm thinking that this month I might go to the drug store and get something there - more expensive than wondfos but I don't have the cognitive capacity to struggle with interpretations more than I need to. Does anyone have recommendations? articles or websites I could look at? 
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • @catiecatp I use the CLearblue advanced ones. They tell you low, high and peak and I think they are the most clear cut of the OPKs. They are expensive, I've gotten mine online from Amazon: Clearablue

  • @BornReady I'm really sorry for the BFN. I'm rooting for you as you go forward (and all of you). Milestones are so, so, so hard.
    Renee, 34 + Devon, 29 married 08/13 <3
    TTC  09/15
    *TW Loss mentioned*
    BFP 12/15/15 EDD: 08/26/16
    MMC discovered 1/25/16 at 9 +3
    TTCAL 3/2016
    Acupuncture 11/16
    Dx December 2016: unexplained 
    January 2017: 50 mg Clomid + TI =
    BFP #2 01/30/17  Please be a sticky baby!
    EDD: 10/15/17  Measuring ahead! 10/12/17 
    Ambrose born on his due date!

  • I am currently on CD5 and less than 3 weeks post d&c. But I also feel ready. Our 5th anniversary is on Saturday and we plan to start TTC that night. Trying to not get obsessed with the minutia, but also really wanting to give it my all. 
    Pregnancy Ticker

    M/C #2 - October 2016
    MMC #1 - April 2016

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
  • silentPsilentP member
    I'm so frustrated. Yesterday would have been a really ideal time to BD, but I was stuck in bed all day with a stomach bug. This is the second month in a row this has happened. WTF? I feel sabotaged when it comes to TTC. It's hard enough to keep my spirits up while attempting this again, so anytime conditions are not ideal for getting a BFP, I feel hopeless. Trying to remind myself that it'll happen when it happens, but I also have a June due date looming over me, so that isn't helping. Sorry for all the whining and fingers crossed for you all this is the month!
  • AF arrived Saturday (so on CD 3), so I finally am off the bench after my Loss in April.  Honestly, I'm excited to be back on the horse, so I was pretty happy that AF finally arrived.
     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @bornready & @silentp, due dates are so, so tough. Hugs. Hopefully you are both KU by then anyway.

    I am on CD8 of cycle 5 TTCAL. My cycles are 32 days usually so I am going to start OPKs CD14 just to make sure I catch the surge, although I don't expect that until CD16 or 17. DH made it clear that he does not want to know every detail about what is my most fertile day, etc.  That is tough for me b/c I am just a really open person and I feel like it's going to be transparent even if I try to act low key. We shall see.


    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
  • @SnobunnieMel @MrsDramaK @a2003tiger Welcome to WTO and here's hoping for BFP's within the next month. :smile: 
    @silentP Sorry to hear you're under the weather. Perhaps there's still time if you're feeling better today. Fingers crossed for you as well.
    @MWoodside I'm on CD 6 now and average 30-day cycles. What with your CD 16-17 surges, it sounds like we're kind of in sync this month. H doesn't want to know too much about my fertility tracking either, but I'm pretty transparent in that I'll text him on my peak days with, "When you get home, let's make a baby!" Ah well. I think because I make it exciting, he doesn't mind it so much. At the least, he doesn't complain? Hah.

  • @SnobunnieMel I know exactly how you feel.  I moonwalked in my bathroom when I saw AF showed up.


     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I'm feeling discouraged but trying to stay really positive. I'm debating on skipping everything this month and just having lots of "relations" whenever we feel like it. It's frustrating because it seems like so many people just get pregnant without any planning...maybe I'm putting too much effort into this. I just keep telling myself that I got pregnant before, so I can do it again. Ugh! I just don't know what to do...track everything, or just go with the flow? The cycle we did get KU I didn't track everything because it was around Christmas and I was too busy. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @MrsDramaK & @SnobunnieMel I remember feeling excited like that when I was waiting for my first post d&c AF! I love that gif!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • dubcompaniondubcompanion member
    edited May 2016
    @MooFish2364 I'm feeling like we just need to have "relations" whenever also. Not stressing about when I'm ovulating will at least be one less thing to well, stress over. The main caveat to not charting would not be knowing when I ovulated, therefore not knowing whether I am late or not. Although I guess there are pregnancy tests that exist to help me out during the TWW. :wink: 

    @MrsDramaKMy TimeHop app informed me that the moonwalk was performed for the first time on this day 33 years ago! Love seeing it on here too! :smiley: 
  • I mentioned this last week but i'm going to go ahead and join you guys here even though I'm not officially cleared quite yet. quick recap, i had an ectopic pregnancy discovered end of february and had to wait 2 cycles to have an HSG done to check the status of my tubes. well, i'm on cd4 of cycle 2 and have my HSG scheduled for thursday. if it's clear, then I'm free ttc immediately so here I am with fingers crossed. I'm hopeful the HSG will be clear since i didn't have any pain or symptoms of an ectopic so i'm thinking (read:hoping) there's no damage. I started temping and charting so we'll see how this goes. 


    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • @MrsDramaK and @SnobunnieMel can you please send some CD1 mojo my way? Still no AF here. OB appointment set for Friday. I have to rave about the receptionist who took my call, though. She was so sweet and sympathetic. Not usually what I get from that office, so it was nice to feel cared about! 

    I think I will still keep temping but not be obsessed with hitting FW. I have ridiculous O pain normally, so we will see if that returns this next cycle. It's usually pretty apparent what my body is doing whether I want to know or not.

    Also, am I the only one who wants to not get KU again right away but refuses to prevent? I'm so anxious about potentially being pregnant again quickly and having another loss, but don't want to waste time either, especially if I will need to see an RE, as we have hit our medical insurance deductible already this year. It's a weird place to be in. 
  • @brooklyngirl18 Fx for your HSG on Thursday!  Hope your back in the game soon!

    @wishilivedinflorida Sending all the CD1 Mojo your way, and in case that doesn't work here's a gif!


     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Ugh, I had to talk to a genetic counselor today to go over the consents for our IVF genetic embryo testing (PGS). I'm not sure if anyone else has ever done it, but it wasn't the most uplifting conversation. The low point was when she told me that just my age range (30-34) means that at most likely 1 in 3 of my eggs are chromosomally abnormal. While I'm sure I have heard a statistic like that, it was just kind of depressing hearing her say it. My rotting eggs and I will be having a cocktail tonight. 
  • @BornReady That's awful. Good to know, considering I'm in that age range as well. That statistic seems off to me, but I guess they know what they're doing...
    Regardless, I'm excited for you!
  • @Wishilivedinflorida Yeah, I don't know about the statistic either. She was really excited to tell me though! I am keeping in mind that she is also working for a company that is getting thousands to do genetic testing on embryos and by default she is one of their unofficial sales people. 
  • @BornReady My rotting eggs and I will drink to that as well. 
  • @BornReady as if we didn't already feel enough pressure on our eggs, lets toss that on there. As I sit here with a heating pad probably cooking the only good one I have left  :s
  • Haha, @SnobunnieMel. I used my heated car seats last night and thought the same thing!

    Sorry all if that was a bit of a debbie downer statistic, I don't want to make people feel bad, I was just venting. I'm sure our eggs are happily growing healthily and waiting to grow into perfect humans.
  • catiecatpcatiecatp member
    edited May 2016
    hugs and love to all y'all

    I'm still trying to figure out how to bring up OPKs to DH. If I have a slow rise it looks like I O maybe CD13-14, if I don't then I O CD16-18 - I figure I'll start on CD10ish and today is CD6 so I've got to make up my mind and do it soon...

    EDIT - had another thought and am sleepy so instead of thinking I hit "post". DH is a love and when I mention that I'm getting a bit nervous about conceiving he is wonderful. We started trying in October but I was coming off of BC - combine that with the MC and I think we're still well within normal. But I have a history of anxiety and depression - and I tend to ruminate - so the thoughts start cycling. When I mentioned it the last time I said that we've been trying for awhile so we must be coming up on the timeline to go see a doctor about it. When I told him that at our age it is typically a year, and that sometimes it restarts with the timing of the MC he was surprised. He may be more on board with OPKs than before - especially if I find a way to explain to him the slow rise thing. But I need to find a way to talk about it that isn't coming across as obsessed about TTC.
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • @catiecatp DH was super anti-temping and OPKs, just wanted to bang it out and hope for the best.  I wasn't having that, told him it was my body so my choice, but mostly I just promised him if he didn't want to know the results he didn't have to, so for the first 5 days he pretended to be blissfully naive to my charting, then he got nosy and now he's super into knowing when the FW is.
     Me: 27 | DH: 28
    TTC since January 2016

    BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
    BFP - 6/11/16



    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Popping in to audibly gasp and perhaps cry about the 1 in 3 eggs statistic!  :o I'd like to know what year the data for that stat is from. If you read an article reneeannemm posted recently it makes it seem like later pregnancies aren't the horror show that they're made out to be and that most stats were from 1950 or something. Or....maybe I'm just in denial  :#
  • This may come out wrong and I apologize if it does, but I've now had 2 losses, 1 for sure chromosome and I don't know on the second: here's hoping my third can find the healthy egg!!  Feeling like maybe I got my 1:3 crap egg out of the way already. Or so I'm hoping. Otherwise it's depressing. 
  • @catiecatp i'm sorry you're struggling with how to tell DH you want to start OPK. i find the best times to talk about sensitive topics are on a low key night when you're both in a good mood and have time to talk and more importantly listen. i think if you explain your feelings and thought process he will be receptive. good luck!
    TW*** Child and loss mentioned
    Married 10/12
    DS 11/14
    Ectopic 2/16
    PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
    IUI x 3- BFN
    Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
    IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
    FET- 6/17- BFP!
    Due Feb 15, 2017
  • That statistic shocked me too. I'm hoping they its not current. I'm not an expert but I was thinking that maybe this is high because it's not in the context of miscarriage, but these would be eggs that just never become fertilized in the first place. At least I hope it's the case. My loss was due to a chromosomal issue and I'm terrified that it will happen again. I've been having a tough time since this new cycle started...it took us 6 months then we had the loss and now it's been 2 months. I know that it isn't a long time but how is it that others can get KU on the first try?! We had relations nearly every day for two weeks and still nothing. It just makes me worry that something is wrong. 

    Sorry to go on and on. I know we all have worries and issues to deal with. It's just weighing heavy on me today. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • This is the article for those interested. I mean a stat is just a stat, it says nothing about what can or has happened to each of us individually but it certainly increased my hope a bit and sometimes that's all we have <3 https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/
  • From what I have read and gathered through the years, "bad" eggs are shed from the body along with the egg that was ovulated and not fertilized. This might be what the genetic counselor is referring to. So, it's not that 1 out of every 3 eggs we ovulate are bad. It's out of the total number we have left. At least, that's how I interpret it. Because if this is the case, then 2/3 of them are still good. And 2/3 are out of something like a thousand* (?) that we have left. Not so bad then...

    *feel free to correct me; I know we start out with a hefty amount, and it dwindles as we age
  • Hi all- I'm jumping onto this thread since AF came today. We tried a natural cycle after my hysteroscopy as my RE wanted to give me a break and I was foolishly hoping it would work as the cycle I got pregnant was a natural cycle.

    So on to next steps- Called my RE office and I am back on meds this week, U/S later next week and most likely a memorial day weekend IUI. I'm  feeling pretty defeated right now. That egg statistic is definitely scary, and I am 37 so I feel like like my clock is seriously ticking. I've been thinking a lot about IVF but it's all OOP for us so I am not sure. Just one thing at a time, right?
     ****TW: Pregnancy, loss and children mentioned****
    Me (39) DH (40) 
    From my first marriage DD: 03/04 CP:01/06 DS:12/06 
    DH- no kids
    ******************
    TTC: since 2/15, RE Consult 9/15
    IUI #1 10/15: Letrozole = BFN 
    IUI #2 11/15: Letrozole + trigger = BFN
    1/08/16: Surprise- BFP!!  2/16/16: MMC @10w 2days,  D&C: 2/17/16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI #3 5/27/16: Letrozole+trigger=BFN
    IUI #4 06/24/16: 7.5mg Letrozole+trigger= BFN
    IUI#5 08/24/16 Menopur+trigger = BFN
    IUI #6 09/19/16 5 mg Letrozole +Menopur + Trigger= BFN
    **10/2016: No more medicated cycles, TTCAL on our own**
    12/03/16: BFP!! EDD: 08/12/17 It's a girl!! 
    Eleni was born on 8/14/17!!
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