I'm so sorry @chloe97 this isn't fair, and probably one of the harder ways to go through a potential loss. Will be thinking of you.
LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated
BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
Thank you all for yor support. Does anyone know of an active board where I can get support for what we're going through? The Miscarriage board doesn't seem right. I don't know what to even do right now. Like what do I even tell work? Should I even tell people IRL what is going on because are people going to judge if we decide to terminate before the heart stops beating? I'm just at a complete loss for what to do.
@chloe97 I'm so sorry you are going through this! My thoughts are with you and your family.
On the NIPT results thread someone posted that there was a board called Ending a Wanted Pregnancy. I think it was @KRMcD who posted it. I hope this helps!
I'm so sorry that you're going throug this @chloe97. I second the recommendation for the high risk board, A Heartbreaking Choice has stories of other parents who have made the incredibly difficult choice to end a pregnancy to spare their child the pain of being born with an issue incompatible with life, as well as a discussion area. Thinking of you and sending all the internet hugs.
@chloe97 I wish I had more advice or helpful words for you. Just knowing what to do next during this time can be so hard.
As for telling people. I'm always very pro you do what makes YOU comfortable. I never hesitate to tell someone I have a son that passed away and I know it makes people uncomfortable but it's what I'm most comfortable with. My husband is the opposite and would much rather avoid the topic or not bring it up with strangers. It really is whatever you feel best with. My husband had a cousin who had to terminate after their anatomy ultrasound didn't go well. I haven't heard anything about anyone ever judging her or making her question her decision. If it would make you feel better to tell people exactly what is happening then do so.
Many thoughts and prayers for you during this difficult time.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. https://endingawantedpregnancy.com/ has been a great resource for me. We terminated for anencephaly last August. I will say, terminating for a fatal defect seems a lot easier than for a non-fatal one since I feel more comfortable sharing. Even my religious friends are totally understanding about my termination.
Once you've made the decision to terminate (if you do) you can join ending a wanted pregnancy even before your procedure.
@chloe97 I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I agree with everyone else, I would only tell people if you're comfortable doing so. If you have to tell people something about the pregnancy ending, you can always tell them that it just wasn't viable. This is the truth, and you don't need to give out details if you don't want to. My heart breaks for you that you have to deal with this. More big hugs to you.
I just wanted to update and to officialy say goodbye. The Dr just called. Our baby girl has Triploidy. We will be scheduling a D&E for Monday or Tuesday.
Good luck and a happy healthy 9 months (or really just 6 months left!) to all of you.
I'm so sorry @chloe97 we were all rooting so hard for you and that little one. Take as much time as you need to heal, I hope your rainbow comes along when you're ready. All the love and hugs.
@chloe97 I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. Be kind to yourself. Remember that there is no wrong or right way to heal and no wrong or right length of time. I wish you and husband all the best as you work through this difficult time.
I know it's not check in day, but I thought you ladies woukd understand.... I got the ok to stop progesterone Thursday at 12 weeks. It feels so weird! My body was definitely used to the sleep aid because I couldn't fall asleep for anything last night, even though I was behind tired. We are now passed our furthest loss milestone (hopefully we won't have to deal with PTL this time but I still get nervous around 27 weeks, too) so I feel pretty good but I feel like I got my security blanket taken away. I hate being PgAL sometimes... Most times
TTC since 07/2010
BFP #1 11/10/11 Natural MC at 6w4d
BFP #2 01/23/12 MC at 12w. 2x Cytotek 1x Methergen; Genetic testing found Factor V Leiden and MTHFR. Started extra Folic Acid and Baby Aspirin then Lovenox
BFP #3 07/02/12 EDD 3/13/13 . Rainbow Baby born at 37 weeks, all natural, after 10 weeks of bedrest. BFP #4 ST. PATTY'S DAY 2014. EDD 11/25/14
I know it's not check in day, but I thought you ladies woukd understand.... I got the ok to stop progesterone Thursday at 12 weeks. It feels so weird! My body was definitely used to the sleep aid because I couldn't fall asleep for anything last night, even though I was behind tired. We are now passed our furthest loss milestone (hopefully we won't have to deal with PTL this time but I still get nervous around 27 weeks, too) so I feel pretty good but I feel like I got my security blanket taken away. I hate being PgAL sometimes... Most times
We are going until 13 weeks. I'm definitely nervous about stopping. I totally understand about the security blanket thing. Hugs to you. This PGAL stuff is hard.
@chloe97 I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I can't think of anything useful to say. There probably isn't anything useful to say. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.
I wanted to post a quick update on my appointment yesterday since I was super worried about it in last week's pgal thread and everyone was so supportive.
All went well. Cervix is still on lock down. Amniotic fluid levels are normal. I had worried so much I was actually stunned for a few minutes when the doctor doing the ultrasound told me how good everything looked. I didn't really hear anything else she said. And the physical cervix exam with the MFM went well too, which was sort of equally baffling. After three failed pregnancies, I think we've just gotten so used to bad news that it didn't seem real. For the first time, I'm starting to feel a vague sense of optimism. Like, there's a real chance that this pregnancy might actually end well.
I think I'm having that "holy shit, I'm having a baby" moment that most women have when they pee on the stick.
I'm still not running out to decorate the nursery or anything. I mean, I still have to go for US and checks every two weeks. 13 weeks is way too early to claim victory over pprom. But things feel a lot different than last time when I was already leaking amniotic fluid at 13 weeks.
@CecilTheBear - great news! He's having me back on Tues before he leaves for vacay... In his absence I'll be seeing the MFM in Burlingame + my OB. I've got just under 2 weeks until my milestone. Plus I found out from Dr. K on Tues that he's going to keep seeing me, almost weekly through 24 weeks-- that can't come soon enough!
Me: 31, DH: 31 Married: September 2012 Began TTC: September 2015 BFP #1: 10/12/16, EDD: 06/23/15, (pPROM, 16 wks + emergency D&E 12/31/15) BFP #2: 03/09/16, EDD: 11/16/16
Re: PGAL Check-In | 5.9
Married: September 2012
Began TTC: September 2015
BFP #1: 10/12/16, EDD: 06/23/15,
(pPROM, 16 wks + emergency D&E 12/31/15)
BFP #2: 03/09/16, EDD: 11/16/16
sorry you are going through this. Hugs.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019BFP #2 3/21 EDD 11/28/16
@chloe97 I'm so sorry you are going through this! My thoughts are with you and your family.
On the NIPT results thread someone posted that there was a board called Ending a Wanted Pregnancy. I think it was @KRMcD who posted it. I hope this helps!
Unexplained infertility
NTNP: 10 years!
TTC: Since 2014
5 IUI: BFN
IVF 1: MC
IVF 2: BFP! DD 11/20/16
As for telling people. I'm always very pro you do what makes YOU comfortable. I never hesitate to tell someone I have a son that passed away and I know it makes people uncomfortable but it's what I'm most comfortable with. My husband is the opposite and would much rather avoid the topic or not bring it up with strangers. It really is whatever you feel best with.
My husband had a cousin who had to terminate after their anatomy ultrasound didn't go well. I haven't heard anything about anyone ever judging her or making her question her decision. If it would make you feel better to tell people exactly what is happening then do so.
Many thoughts and prayers for you during this difficult time.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. https://endingawantedpregnancy.com/ has been a great resource for me. We terminated for anencephaly last August. I will say, terminating for a fatal defect seems a lot easier than for a non-fatal one since I feel more comfortable sharing. Even my religious friends are totally understanding about my termination.
Once you've made the decision to terminate (if you do) you can join ending a wanted pregnancy even before your procedure.
I just wanted to update and to officialy say goodbye. The Dr just called. Our baby girl has Triploidy. We will be scheduling a D&E for Monday or Tuesday.
Good luck and a happy healthy 9 months (or really just 6 months left!) to all of you.
Awesome Kid #2: Due November 2016!
BFP 3.8.16 EDD 11.20.16
Unexplained infertility
NTNP: 10 years!
TTC: Since 2014
5 IUI: BFN
IVF 1: MC
IVF 2: BFP! DD 11/20/16
Married: September 2012
Began TTC: September 2015
BFP #1: 10/12/16, EDD: 06/23/15,
(pPROM, 16 wks + emergency D&E 12/31/15)
BFP #2: 03/09/16, EDD: 11/16/16
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Your work might have some kind of bereavement leave if you tell HR but otherwise do what makes you most comfortable.
All went well. Cervix is still on lock down. Amniotic fluid levels are normal. I had worried so much I was actually stunned for a few minutes when the doctor doing the ultrasound told me how good everything looked. I didn't really hear anything else she said. And the physical cervix exam with the MFM went well too, which was sort of equally baffling. After three failed pregnancies, I think we've just gotten so used to bad news that it didn't seem real. For the first time, I'm starting to feel a vague sense of optimism. Like, there's a real chance that this pregnancy might actually end well.
I think I'm having that "holy shit, I'm having a baby" moment that most women have when they pee on the stick.
I'm still not running out to decorate the nursery or anything. I mean, I still have to go for US and checks every two weeks. 13 weeks is way too early to claim victory over pprom. But things feel a lot different than last time when I was already leaking amniotic fluid at 13 weeks.
Married: September 2012
Began TTC: September 2015
BFP #1: 10/12/16, EDD: 06/23/15,
(pPROM, 16 wks + emergency D&E 12/31/15)
BFP #2: 03/09/16, EDD: 11/16/16