UO - 5/12

sammyl1221 · May 2016

drop em like it's hot!!!

LinziLoo09 · May 2016

I hate chiropractors. Any knuckle cracking triggers my gag reflux (even not pregnant) so keep away from me with your crackly charlatan hands!!!!

kbduke · May 2016

@LinziLoo09 I'm with you on the chiropractors. I don't trust them and have no reason for it.

princesslockness · May 2016

I hate saunas. I have never understood why you would want to sit and sweat with other naked people who you probably don't know well enough to want to get naked with.

bakerstreetboys · May 2016

Ditto for hot tubs. It's like people soup. Ick

Mamax2 · May 2016

@LinziLoo09 yes and yes! I can't stand either chiropractors. When it comes to popping knuckles, neck, etc, I make DH leave the room every time he feels the need to do it.

LinziLoo09 · May 2016

@Mamax2 I told DH it's the equivalent of farting in public. Very rude! I have trouble hiding my revulsion when people I'm not allowed to smack crack their knuckles in public.

cjt121413 · May 2016

The random symptom threads kind of drive me nuts. Not trying to be a jerk, but we have a symptoms thread for things like sore breasts, strong sense of smell, etc. No need to start your own post. I know I can't be the only Type A here.

sammyl1221 · May 2016

@cjt121413 no you are not alone!! Nor is starting random threads that have already been asked and answered.

cjt121413 · May 2016

@sammyl1221 Right?! No more Zika threads for the love of all things holy!!

ETA - No idea what's up with the underlining.

ashleaf2018 · May 2016

Last pregnancy I posted about my pregnancy very early, about 6 weeks, and had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. And now I have friends that are 5 weeks and 8 weeks along and they've already made Facebook posts about expecting. I'm further along than both of them at 10 weeks and I haven't even told my dad yet! Lol I understand being excited and posting about it super early because obviously I've been there, done that, but it's weird to be on the other side of it now when I'm further along than they are and they're already posting about it.

Just for background info, my dad lives 5 hours away and he's the kind of person who would want me to tell him face to face and not over the phone. So I'm holding off until I see him this summer to tell him. My grandmother lives close and my mom came to visit a few weeks ago for a girls' weekend, so they both know. I feel bad leaving him out but I also want to tell him the right way.

OliveP27 · May 2016

I think people need to seriously learn how to mind their own business. This stemming from a horrible neighbor I have who is constantly spying on us and reporting us to every agency he can. We live in the boonies and he called the fire department when we were burning our leaves. The fire Marshall came out, super annoyed he was bothered for such a ridiculous thing and instead of writing is a ticket, wrote us a burn permit. This type of thing. Yesterday, he called animal control on us. Our dogs have an electric fence and another neighbor down the road has the same kind of dog and he reported our dog as out wandering. Nope. You reported the wrong neighbor, jerk! And, who is that yellow lab even bothering out in the country?? Gahhhh

princesslockness · May 2016

@ashleaf2018 I think I disagree with your UO. If I interpreted correctly, you are against publicly announcing early/1st tri.
I disagree, mostly because that idea is one of the reasons that MCs and IF are so taboo. If more people were open and honest about things then no one would feel so alone or singled out. Families and couples would have more support. People also (hopefully) wouldn't be as asinine about the pain of loss and IF.

ETA: and no I feel like a hypocrite because we haven't publicly announced, but I let my family and DHs family know they could spread the word as they wanted (just not on FB posts) as soon as we told them at like 3 weeks.

beff12 · May 2016

I agree with @Kate08Young. We had a miscarriage last fall at 8 weeks, which I will hit this weekend. We were waiting on my brother and SIL to have their baby and get settled in to announce to our extended family (so far only my parents know - we told them the second my pee dried pretty much). So we will be telling them soon (my niece was born Tuesday!) and then we will announce on FB before 12 weeks I think.

We went public with our miscarriage because I want to be able to help people that have been in that situation, and I have been able to do that since then so I'm glad I shared it. I hate that MC is such a hush-hush topic. I have a great feeling about this pregnancy and it feels much more like when I was pregnant with DD, but I still want to get it out there. God forbid something happens to this baby, I want the support of those that know us. It was so hard to say "I was pregnant...aaaaand now I'm not," so I think we'll be ready to announce sooner this time.

ETA so perhaps my UO is that I think there is an advantage to early announcements!

sammyl1221 · May 2016

On the whole announcing before/ after 12 weeks I can see both sides. I don't see anything wrong with announcing before 12 weeks. However both of our families are very superstitious. Within the last 4 years My SIL had two miscarriages. The first pregnancy she told everyone at like 5 weeks and then by week 8 there was no heartbeat. She said calling everyone and telling them was the worst feeling in the entire world. She made it through half the list then had her DH tell everyone else. Her second miscarriage she didn't tell anyone except immediate family and at 8 or 9 weeks (on Easter) she had to get rushed to the ER because she had gotten a really bad infection from the D&C. So everyone found out what had happened. We told immediate family at 6 weeks then extended family at 10/11 weeks. That was our personal choice we are also pretty private. We both don't have facebook and really the only social media I do is post pics of my dog on Instagram. I also think there is great strength in sharing loss. Women that have lost have felt like there was something wrong with them and that they are alone when that's not the case. That's never the case. Sharing stories help each other know they aren't alone and there is always a rainbow at the end... Hopefully a rainbow baby for everyone who has lost.

slartybartfast · May 2016

Whether or not you announce early is totally individual. There's no right or wrong. If you're someone that would appreciate support in the event of a loss, then it makes sense to tell whomever you would want that support from. If not, wait. When I'm in pain or upset, I like to be left totally alone. In fact, in labor I wanted no one near me. We'll wait til at least 12 weeks. I do think it's great that some people are comfortable being so open about loss too. For me it would take a little while to want to share that.

penelope4612 · May 2016

Yeah I think announcing that you're pregnant is a personal thing. While I don't mind talking about my previous loss now, at the time I was going through it it was pretty awful and every time I told someone I'd start crying. I cried in a doctor's office (someone I see for a back issue, not an OB or anything) and I cried to my boss at work when I had to explain why I needed to be out. It really really sucked. And DHs extended family found out and his grandfather has since made comments that I'm sure he thinks are nice and reassuring but really are not helpful. So while I agree that pregnancy loss shouldn't be hidden due to shame and more women may feel less alone if it came up more, it doesn't mean that for every individual publicly dealing with the loss is a right or wrong choice. I personally would rather be supported by friends and family on a 1:1 level when I want to talk and share the news and not have to tell everyone at the time of the loss because I had already announced my pregnancy, but that's me.

cjt121413 · May 2016

I agree that when to tell about pregnancy is completely personal.

**Loss mentioned**
With my loss, we had told a handful of people, like my mom, my BFFs, SIL, and I hated having to tell them about the loss. Like @slartybartfast, I like to be alone when I'm in pain. I hated people feeling sorry for me, and I hated having expectations for support from people and then not getting that support (e.g., SIL). We won't publicly announce until after 12 weeks. My parents know and for now that's it. We'll tell my BFF and her husband at about 10.5 weeks because we'll be staying with them.These are the only people I know we would want and need support from in the event of another loss.

beff12 · May 2016

I definitely agree that it's a personal decision. All I was saying is that I used to side eye early announcers, and now I understand why some might want to do that!

DiFazette · May 2016

My UO is always in the form of something I think is unpopular but others apparently don't - why is it okay to ask someone with multiples how they conceived? I really want to start answering snarky like - 'a few glasses of wine and doggystyle'. What the F? Why is that any of a stranger business?

ashleaf2018 · May 2016

It's totally fine to agree to disagree. Like I said, I was one of those early posters the first time around because I was so excited and I never dreamed that I would lose my baby. Now, I definitely feel more aware of what can happen. Having to tell everyone that I lost my baby was the most humiliating and painful thing I've ever done. I don't ever want to be put in that position again. I just feel more aware now and I hope the best for my friends of course, but they may be like I was the first time around and not feel like it could happen to them only to end up heartbroken and having to tell everyone their baby died, just like I had to.

I don't think anything's wrong with posting early. I just think it's weird this time around to see someone post about it at 5 weeks and I haven't posted anything yet at 10 weeks. It's just personal preference on whether or not to post anything. I don't want to post anything, so that doesn't mean that no one else should. It's just different going through it after having a loss the first time.

princesslockness · May 2016

ashleaf2018 said:

Having to tell everyone that I lost my baby was the most humiliating and painful thing I've ever done.

The bolded is what really bothers me about people keeping losses and IF so taboo.
It WASN'T YOUR FAULT. Let me say it again IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
There was nothing you could have done. Why should you be humiliated that things didn't work out, why should you feel as though you have to grieve quietly and alone if you don't want to? You shouldn't, to either of them. I had several early losses when DH and I were dating. I understand how painful it is, but I will never understand why people feel humiliated.

dmontgo · May 2016

I hate avocados and everything they touch. I get it, they are a good fat, and so healthy, and blah blah blah....but as soon as one touches my mouth, the squishiness and taste makes me want to hurl. And that was before pregnancy. So please, stop trying to make me eat avocados! I have tried them several times and I still do not like them.

This wasn't directed to anyone in particular, but yeah. Don't throw avocados at me haha.

slartybartfast · May 2016

dmontgo said:

I hate avocados and everything they touch. I get it, they are a good fat, and so healthy, and blah blah blah....but as soon as one touches my mouth, the squishiness and taste makes me want to hurl. And that was before pregnancy. So please, stop trying to make me eat avocados! I have tried them several times and I still do not like them.

This wasn't directed to anyone in particular, but yeah. Don't throw avocados at me haha.

WHHAAAATTTTT even through my nausea I can see how wrong you are! Unpopular opinion indeed!

dmontgo · May 2016

@slartybartfast I hope we can still be friends haha.

ashleaf2018 · May 2016

dmontgo said:

I hate avocados and everything they touch. I get it, they are a good fat, and so healthy, and blah blah blah....but as soon as one touches my mouth, the squishiness and taste makes me want to hurl. And that was before pregnancy. So please, stop trying to make me eat avocados! I have tried them several times and I still do not like them.

This wasn't directed to anyone in particular, but yeah. Don't throw avocados at me haha.

This is too funny because last week FI and I went to IHOP and I was feeling so sick but I thought I could just get toast, scrambled eggs, and avocado since that all sounded pretty bland. Well the avocados were awful! They probably made me more sick than what I was and I couldn't keep the eggs down, but I was starving. I probably ordered a loaf of bread worth of more toast!

So you are definitely not alone on the avocados!

@Kate08Young Trust me, I get it. But every single person grieves differently. So I don't need anyone telling me how to feel about my loss, either. If someone wants to tell the world at 5 weeks that they are pregnant because they know that if they have a loss they want to be an advocate for IF problems and miscarriages and whatnot, go ahead. I don't take issue with that at all. But I had people telling me how brave I was when really, I had no idea that I would go through that loss and if I had known, I would have kept it between FI and I. I wish I could have grieved privately, but in my excitement, I told everyone early and then was forced to grieve very publicly after that loss. That wasn't how I wanted to remember that experience. If that's so wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

LinziLoo09 · May 2016

MMMmmm I just spread avocados on my BLT tonight. It was amazing. I want more. @dmontgo you are wrong. So wrong.

zubenescamali · May 2016

I too think it's fine to announce whenever. Personally I like to wait because the earlier I announce, the more unsolicited advice and stupid comments I got. I had to announce my first pregnancy early because I handled hazardous chemicals. With my second, I only announced at work around 6 months when I couldn't hide my belly anymore, and on social media after she was born.

penelope4612 · May 2016

dmontgo said:

I hate avocados and everything they touch. I get it, they are a good fat, and so healthy, and blah blah blah....but as soon as one touches my mouth, the squishiness and taste makes me want to hurl. And that was before pregnancy. So please, stop trying to make me eat avocados! I have tried them several times and I still do not like them.

This wasn't directed to anyone in particular, but yeah. Don't throw avocados at me haha.

I hate eggs. I've had similar experiences (everyone saying "well if you try MY eggs" or "if you eat them THIS way"). I hate them no matter what. No, I'm not going to eat them, thanks.

zubenescamali · May 2016

@dmontgo I will take ALL of your avocados!!!! Nom nom nom.

dmontgo · May 2016

@LinziLoo09 I would be snarky, but then I would have to rest. Haha. But I'm just glad you can eat something, even if it is *shudder* avocados.

@ashleaf2018 Avocados are hit or miss to me. They're not ripe...then suddenly they are, then they're spoiled and gross. Blech.

@penelope4612 Isn't it funny how people will do that? Like their eggs are special. Riiiiigghhht.

LinziLoo09 · May 2016

Yes, everything is exhausting. My jaw got tired eating my sandwich tonight. I've never been more disappointed at my lack of fitness...

doodleoodle · May 2016

penelope4612 said:

dmontgo said:

I hate avocados and everything they touch. I get it, they are a good fat, and so healthy, and blah blah blah....but as soon as one touches my mouth, the squishiness and taste makes me want to hurl. And that was before pregnancy. So please, stop trying to make me eat avocados! I have tried them several times and I still do not like them.

This wasn't directed to anyone in particular, but yeah. Don't throw avocados at me haha.

I hate eggs. I've had similar experiences (everyone saying "well if you try MY eggs" or "if you eat them THIS way"). I hate them no matter what. No, I'm not going to eat them, thanks.

@penelope4612I just imagined you all like, "I do not like them, Sam-I-Am" lol

I agree that avocados are disgusting, BTW. I don't get the appeal as far as taste goes.

My UO is that I hate social media. It creeps me out.

queenklau · May 2016

Omg you guys, avocados and eggs are on my faves list!

Christinaruth74 · May 2016

@dmontgo I'm with you on avocados. Non-pregnant me can tolerate them if I'm reeeealllly craving one. But pregnant me? Hell no. I had a gross batch of subway guac when I was pregnant with DD and I've never been the same. I want to barf every time I even read about them.

Amdogger82 · May 2016

@DiFazette my sister had twins and you won't believe the crap people feel entitled to ask. She got asked "are they natural?" so many times, even after they were born.

penelope4612 · May 2016

This isn't an unpopular opinion but there is no where else to post it and it doesn't deserve it's own thread, and since many of you have been here since day 1, I figure you'll all appreciate it.

Do you guys remember when Nov '16 was calling us out for being drama llamas because we had one crazy thread way back when?

They've just had a mass of thread closings, bannings, and they seem to have a troll in their midst. Boom.

aevan011 · May 2016

@dmontgo If you said this about avocados on Tuesday, I would have fought you. Today, however, avocados are the worst thing ever and we can be friends. No promises for the future, though. Weird ass pregnancy taste buds.

@cjt121413 So I shouldn't be asking about my July Florida vacation? But I'm really scurred.

ETA: second comment, to save you all from my siggy

cayaylonglegs · May 2016

Ahh so many things I want to say!
1. Avocados grossssss but guacamole is delicious.

2. I was very torn about announcing our pregnancy but seeing as everyone know our IVF transfer dates it would have been difficult to keep a secret. It's interesting to have announced so early for a December baby when I'm seeing friends on Facebook announcing their October and November babies.

3. Working at a Spa I work in close proximity to chiropractors, saunas and hot tubs - it's interesting to see so many people who are not fans. Not saying I disagree because you couldn't pay me to get into the whirlpools at my Spa.

4. N16 wtf is happening over there!?