Hubby likes to joke a lot about my size... he lovingly called me a "steamroller" my first pregnancy and the other day he laughed and said "Wow you better be pregnant or else you've really let yourself go!" I love you too dear... I've also gotten comments from a lot of people about my gigantic boobs, yes I'm aware they were big before I got pregnant and trust me I've noticed they've increased a good 50 sizes since! They always say they can't wait to see if my belly will pass them!
Exact exchange with a guy at a funeral I attended a couple weeks ago... Guy: Wow. You've gotta be due any day now. Me: No. Actually I'm not due till the end of September. Guy: WHAT?! NO WAY! Well, then it HAS to be twins. It's twins, right?! Me: Nope. Just one. Guy: Is it a boy? Boys are bigger, so that would make a little more sense. Me: Dunno. Still to early to tell. I'm only 18 weeks. Funeral Director (who had been eavesdropping and decided to jump in): It's DEFINITELY a boy. My wife had 5 kids and every time she carried a basketball like that one it was a boy! Me:
Oh, and the other day my Dad overheard me mention that I've only gained 6 pounds so far this pregnancy and his response was, "REALLY?! No way! You look like it's a lot more than that... Not that you look fat or anything. But you look like more than only 6 pounds." Yeah... Thanks a lot, Dad.
My friend/coworker who's young and vain is constantly saying, "ugh, I'm scared to get pregnant, I don't want my body to change." And, "I'm afraid SO won't find me attractive while I'm pregnant, I can't see how he would." I'm standing right here, totally pregnant. Body changed. I'm glad my body has stricken you with fear.
This one isn't really that offensive or rude, but I am sick and tired of hearing it! "Wow you finally look like you weigh as much as a normal person." I've always been very underweight (just genetics), and I know that's unusual, but that doesn't mean I need to hear comments about it 24-7!
My mom taught me at an early age to tell all pregnant women that they look fantastic and so healthy. I wish humanity took a similar approach. You NEVER know what sensitivities a pregnant woman is internalizing. Best to just keep your big mouth shut or say she's beautiful and radiant.
One day I take offense to people telling me that I don't look pregnant at all. But the next day my husband will fuss over my growing belly and I'll feel offended. There's no winning.
1.)I was in a department store the other day (23 weeks pregnant) and I was trying on shoes. While I was browsing a 40 or so year old man stated at me in the eye and laughed in my face. I turned away awkwardly and looked back to make sure he was staring at me and he was. I still don't get what was so f×××in funny about a pregnant women shopping for shoes. 2.) When I announced my pregnancy to my family, my ass hat brother In law said " that's what you get for not wearing condoms". Not that it matters but we planned this pregnancy and tried for months! It really pissed me off.
@SarahDarah333 your co worker sounds like she would get along great with mine! You reminded me of something else she has been talking about directly to me recently- she likes to talk about those 'creepy psychos' that cut babies out of pregnant women and then says something like, "I shouldn't be talking about this to you." Uhh yeah, keep your mouth shut then! That's terrifying you crazy bitch!
I'm actually no longer bothered by the "did you wish you were having a girl?" question after getting it so many times. We have a 1 year old son, so I always reply with "No, it really didn't matter either way to us and we're really excited to have brothers in the house" and the reaction is always like a moment of realization "Oh yeah!! Brothers, that will be fun!" ...like, are they so caught up on what we're "missing out on" by not having a girl that they forget that 2 boys will be awesome in it's own ways? Oh well!
@ivassaq yes! I will say there are other people who seem to subscribe to that theory. The best thing to say, if you must say something, is, "Wow, you look great!" or something along those lines.
@ahackett1990 YAS! I got so frustrated with my co-worker that I snapped at her about it. She was saying she doesn't like this artist (who I adore because she's sweet and friendly and easy to work with) because she refused to talk to her about how she (co-worker) thinks she found a lump in her breast... meanwhile this artist had just undergone treatment for breast cancer. I just said "Well, I can understand that she was probably sensitive about that and upset by you talking about it. It would be like if someone was talking incessantly about babies with defects and how their mothers terminate them to me while I'm pregnant." It was amazing how quickly she shut up! HA!
My husbands aunt came over when I was having a garage sale, grabbed my belly and started yelling into my bellybutton like a microphone in front of people for what felt like a solid minute.
A coworker of mine (male) had a baby 2 months ago. We have a work party on friday and apparently his wife is upset because none of her old clothes fit and she is having a hard time losing the weight.
An older coworker of mine who has birthed 3 children and all 3 are out of college says this- "oh 2 months she should have lost the weight already" & then she goes on and on about how she never gained more than 10lbs with any of her kids and she was back in her clothes by 2 months...yada yada yada
Now anyone that knows me in person KNOWS I don't keep quiet and I am NOT afraid to speak my mind. Which I believe is why I have had no comments directed at me yet. I turned to my male coworker and told him to take his wife shopping and buy her some new outfits that she will be comfortable in and to tell her she is pretty. I then turned to my other coworker and told her that if she ever said that shit to me I would throw her out the window. I told her she should never shame another woman for gaining weight and just because it worked for her does not mean it will work for everyone!
Me: 32 DH: 31
TTC #2 since January 2018
Baby #1 DD Born 8/25/2016 BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
I've been getting the "Oh, boys always love their mommys!' exclamation when I share I'm having a boy with people. Err....does that mean a girl wouldn't love her mommy? I just don't get it. I think it's supposed to be sweet but it just annoys me.
I know they were trying to be nice but someone told me "I couldn't possibly be pregnant" and that I look exactly the same. Grrrrr I do not usually look like I'm smuggling a throw pillow under my shirt
This weekend was great. First my best friend's dad goes "well its always hard to tell when a heavy girl is pregnant but I definitely can tell you are" -_- thanks.
then my former supervisor goes "you aren't showing at all! When I am definitely showing.. I'm sure trying to make up for when she called me fat. But it made me feel worse
Comments at a baby reveal party with four different pregnant people: --Oh my, you have the best bump, it barely shows! (WHAT THE F. REALLY?) --Kim Kardashian looked so gross, she gained so much weight. Kourtney was cuter. --You barely gained any weight; that's great!
--That's a carb heavy meal. You could get gestational diabetes.
I seriously do not understand the pressure to be skinny while pregnant. While growing. A f-ing human. Values NOT to instill in my child. Thank you very much.
I've been getting the "Oh, boys always love their mommys!' exclamation when I share I'm having a boy with people. Err....does that mean a girl wouldn't love her mommy? I just don't get it. I think it's supposed to be sweet but it just annoys me.
As a daughter and a 2nd time girl mom it annoys me, too. People haven't said it to me, but just that someone could think it. A child always loves their mommy. That statement doesn't need a gender assigned to it.
@frogdog06 that's EXACTLY my opinion - I do not want my child exposed to quite this much body-shaming (of me or anyone else) in the womb already. Plenty of time to try to ward off body image disorders as he grows up
Mine is a little bit different but it's my own little piece of inappropriate question hell.
I have BIL who really creeps me out for many reasons, he's just not "my kind of person". He is an RMT which I am not bashing for a second, I love my RMT but because of his job he thinks of himself as a medical professional and grills everyone in the family about their health constantly. He is definitely interested and knowledgeable but he is NOT that person's doctor/diabetes specialist/cardiologist etc and he really likes to pretend to be!
BIL came to visit us a week after I was due with my son hoping to meet his new nephew. The visit was horrible because I was 41 weeks pregnant and DH was at work all day saving his time off for after the baby came but that was totally not BIL's fault. He was in the province for a wedding and it was really very sweet of him to fly an extra 2 hours to come visit us. The visit got off to an awesome start when we picked him up at the airport and IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAGGAGE CLAIM he kneels down on the floor and starts hugging and petting my belly and talking to the baby. In my entire pregnancy the only people I'd had touch my belly without my permission were my co-worker's 8 year old twins which was just plain cute. Here is this grown ass man hugging my 41 week belly in the middle of the airport. Gah! After that he spent the rest of the visit asking about my birth plans and what methods I'd been practicing... "none" (and I went on to have an unmedicated birth despite not being a hypnobirthing guru so ). He also asked me what I had been doing to prepare my perineum. Um no, no no no no no you do not get to ask me that. All I could think to say was "I think it's a little bit late to be worrying about that don't you?"
Ugh, it stresses me out just thinking about it. I'm pretty open about most stuff but this guy has no boundaries.
0SeaMonkey0 lolol at anything involving a perineum. If you wouldn't ask a non-pregnant person about a body part - you don't get to ask a pregnant person about it.
I have had a few of these comments so far, but the worst was from my sister!! After I announced to our whole family that I was pregnant one of her first comments was AND I QUOTE 'I can't wait to see you get fat.' followed with 'Oh please, you can be the fat sister for nine months. I've had to live with it for years.' In all seriousness she has been the heavier one out of the two of us but I'm sorry I didn't know MY pregnancy was about making you feel better. Jokes on her though because even though I think I'm getting huge my family keeps commenting on how small I am staying and how you can't tell I'm pregnant from behind.
I think the worst part about all of these comments is that when you respond like @danielle1290 (awesome response, BTW) people assume you are just being sensitive because of the hormones. The don't assume that what they are saying is completely rude.
@mrsl0429 I wish I had actually had the guts to use that response, I just couldn't do it though lol.. and you're totally right!
Knottie60812882 I feel bad for your bigger sister, even if her comments were rude.
This is totally me in my family, my sister had twins and was still smaller than me throughout her pregnancy. Relatives compare our sizes a lot especially when we were growing up, so I can relate to your sis.
A coworker of mine (male) had a baby 2 months ago. We have a work party on friday and apparently his wife is upset because none of her old clothes fit and she is having a hard time losing the weight.
An older coworker of mine who has birthed 3 children and all 3 are out of college says this- "oh 2 months she should have lost the weight already" & then she goes on and on about how she never gained more than 10lbs with any of her kids and she was back in her clothes by 2 months...yada yada yada
Now anyone that knows me in person KNOWS I don't keep quiet and I am NOT afraid to speak my mind. Which I believe is why I have had no comments directed at me yet. I turned to my male coworker and told him to take his wife shopping and buy her some new outfits that she will be comfortable in and to tell her she is pretty. I then turned to my other coworker and told her that if she ever said that shit to me I would throw her out the window. I told her she should never shame another woman for gaining weight and just because it worked for her does not mean it will work for everyone!
OMG I freaking love you!!!! Haha! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has zero filter and says it like it is!!!
I was talking with DH a couple of days ago after a fight, and I told him I feel like he doesn't want me any more because my body is changing. He told me I look the same to him, that it's barely noticeable. Um... 10 pounds up and my belly popping out, boobs up a size, and you think I look the same?? I couldn't help it, I said "So, was I just fat before or something? Because I don't understand how you don't see any difference." I pointed out that people keep saying I'm showing, random people (some I don't even know) come up and ask when I'm due, etc. and he said they're all trying to be nice because they know that's what I want to hear. *sigh* I'd rather him just say "Yes, honey, I do notice that your belly is growing a little" rather than "you look the same."
Knottie60812882 I feel bad for your bigger sister, even if her comments were rude.
This is totally me in my family, my sister had twins and was still smaller than me throughout her pregnancy. Relatives compare our sizes a lot especially when we were growing up, so I can relate to your sis.
This is the only thing I worry about with having two girls. There were/are never these kinds of comparisons between my brother and I. I'm worried there's going to be more competition having two of the same sex than if we'd had one of each.
I have had a few of these comments so far, but the worst was from my sister!! After I announced to our whole family that I was pregnant one of her first comments was AND I QUOTE 'I can't wait to see you get fat.' followed with 'Oh please, you can be the fat sister for nine months. I've had to live with it for years.' In all seriousness she has been the heavier one out of the two of us but I'm sorry I didn't know MY pregnancy was about making you feel better. Jokes on her though because even though I think I'm getting huge my family keeps commenting on how small I am staying and how you can't tell I'm pregnant from behind.
I can also kind of see your sisters perspective, but still think what she said was very rude. Growing up, my sister was very overweight until around 15/16, and I was very slim. Then I packed on the "freshman 15 (more like 30...)" and she was the "slim" one. She's still much slimmer than I, but she also eats a lot better than I do. But then again we've never held the other's weight against each other.
I was talking with DH a couple of days ago after a fight, and I told him I feel like he doesn't want me any more because my body is changing. He told me I look the same to him, that it's barely noticeable. Um... 10 pounds up and my belly popping out, boobs up a size, and you think I look the same?? I couldn't help it, I said "So, was I just fat before or something? Because I don't understand how you don't see any difference." I pointed out that people keep saying I'm showing, random people (some I don't even know) come up and ask when I'm due, etc. and he said they're all trying to be nice because they know that's what I want to hear. *sigh* I'd rather him just say "Yes, honey, I do notice that your belly is growing a little" rather than "you look the same."
Ugh!!! Men. I really dont understand them sometimes. Saturday my SO and I were talking, he was randomly like "your nipples are turning brown, they were pink" i was shocked, we werent talking about anything baby related or me and he popped that outta no where. I was like "yah, ive noticed thanks... " i felt kinda sensitive about it, stupid hormones.
My sister and I are extremely close and the weight issue has never been a source of conflict between us. She's the best big sister in the world - I could tell you a million and one things she did for me growing up that I will never forget, and we are even closer now.
I think you'll have the opportunity to help shield them from comparison talk and lay down the law if needed. My grandparents mostly would make comments about our sizes in front of us, and my mom could/should have put a stop to it.
I'm gonna play off of @mom2adoodle funny kids comments because my 10 year old niece had a gem a couple weeks ago:
My mom was telling her and her little sister all about how big the baby is right now, etc. and she looked my mom dead in the eye, and said very seriously
"I know what they did to make that baby"
HA!! I wasn't there but would have paid to see the look on my mothers face!
This past weekend, I saw one of my sisters for the first time since early February (before I was really showing). The first thing she said when she saw me was that I looked "really pregnant". Then, at the end of the night she said, "You're carrying differently this time. With Evie, you were all belly," as she made reference to a tight ball in front her her stomach, "but this time you're more..." as she swept her hands around her belly, to the sides and back. I know I can't let it get to me too much - I am growing a human after all - but my body image issues have been intense with this pregnancy and her comments, of course, have been nagging me ever since!!
@JennM205 add that to the list of things you never say to a pregnant woman!! I'm 100% convinced that anytime anyone says anything nice to me about my body right now (even just a generic "you look great!") they're lying but know that you have to say nice things to pregnant women. And I still appreciate it even if I don't believe them.
Your sister should know to NEVER comment on another part of the body besides baby belly (and sometimes not even that) when someone is pregnant-- trust me, I spend enough time poking at my newly formed love handles, I don't need anyone else pointing them out too!
Re: "How much do you weigh?" & Other Rude Comments...
Guy: Wow. You've gotta be due any day now.
Me: No. Actually I'm not due till the end of September.
Guy: WHAT?! NO WAY! Well, then it HAS to be twins. It's twins, right?!
Me: Nope. Just one.
Guy: Is it a boy? Boys are bigger, so that would make a little more sense.
Me: Dunno. Still to early to tell. I'm only 18 weeks.
Funeral Director (who had been eavesdropping and decided to jump in): It's DEFINITELY a boy. My wife had 5 kids and every time she carried a basketball like that one it was a boy!
Me:
Oh, and the other day my Dad overheard me mention that I've only gained 6 pounds so far this pregnancy and his response was, "REALLY?! No way! You look like it's a lot more than that... Not that you look fat or anything. But you look like more than only 6 pounds." Yeah... Thanks a lot, Dad.
Piper, 4/10/10
Connor, 3/16/15
Morgan, EDD 9/22/16
One day I take offense to people telling me that I don't look pregnant at all. But the next day my husband will fuss over my growing belly and I'll feel offended. There's no winning.
2.) When I announced my pregnancy to my family, my ass hat brother In law said " that's what you get for not wearing condoms". Not that it matters but we planned this pregnancy and tried for months! It really pissed me off.
BFP: 12/29/15 EDD: 9/15/16!! Please be our miracle baby!
Who is like that? Super creepy.
We have a 1 year old son, so I always reply with "No, it really didn't matter either way to us and we're really excited to have brothers in the house" and the reaction is always like a moment of realization "Oh yeah!! Brothers, that will be fun!" ...like, are they so caught up on what we're "missing out on" by not having a girl that they forget that 2 boys will be awesome in it's own ways? Oh well!
Ummmmm, no.
A coworker of mine (male) had a baby 2 months ago. We have a work party on friday and apparently his wife is upset because none of her old clothes fit and she is having a hard time losing the weight.
An older coworker of mine who has birthed 3 children and all 3 are out of college says this- "oh 2 months she should have lost the weight already" & then she goes on and on about how she never gained more than 10lbs with any of her kids and she was back in her clothes by 2 months...yada yada yada
Now anyone that knows me in person KNOWS I don't keep quiet and I am NOT afraid to speak my mind. Which I believe is why I have had no comments directed at me yet. I turned to my male coworker and told him to take his wife shopping and buy her some new outfits that she will be comfortable in and to tell her she is pretty. I then turned to my other coworker and told her that if she ever said that shit to me I would throw her out the window. I told her she should never shame another woman for gaining weight and just because it worked for her does not mean it will work for everyone!
BFP: 8/11/18 Due: 4/26/18
then my former supervisor goes "you aren't showing at all! When I am definitely showing..
I'm sure trying to make up for when she called me fat. But it made me feel worse
Comments at a baby reveal party with four different pregnant people:
--Oh my, you have the best bump, it barely shows! (WHAT THE F. REALLY?)
--Kim Kardashian looked so gross, she gained so much weight. Kourtney was cuter.
--You barely gained any weight; that's great!
--That's a carb heavy meal. You could get gestational diabetes.
I seriously do not understand the pressure to be skinny while pregnant. While growing. A f-ing human.
Values NOT to instill in my child. Thank you very much.
As a daughter and a 2nd time girl mom it annoys me, too. People haven't said it to me, but just that someone could think it. A child always loves their mommy. That statement doesn't need a gender assigned to it.
@Megan324 that is seriously one rude comment!
I have BIL who really creeps me out for many reasons, he's just not "my kind of person". He is an RMT which I am not bashing for a second, I love my RMT but because of his job he thinks of himself as a medical professional and grills everyone in the family about their health constantly. He is definitely interested and knowledgeable but he is NOT that person's doctor/diabetes specialist/cardiologist etc and he really likes to pretend to be!
BIL came to visit us a week after I was due with my son hoping to meet his new nephew. The visit was horrible because I was 41 weeks pregnant and DH was at work all day saving his time off for after the baby came but that was totally not BIL's fault. He was in the province for a wedding and it was really very sweet of him to fly an extra 2 hours to come visit us. The visit got off to an awesome start when we picked him up at the airport and IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAGGAGE CLAIM he kneels down on the floor and starts hugging and petting my belly and talking to the baby. In my entire pregnancy the only people I'd had touch my belly without my permission were my co-worker's 8 year old twins which was just plain cute. Here is this grown ass man hugging my 41 week belly in the middle of the airport. Gah! After that he spent the rest of the visit asking about my birth plans and what methods I'd been practicing... "none" (and I went on to have an unmedicated birth despite not being a hypnobirthing guru so
Ugh, it stresses me out just thinking about it. I'm pretty open about most stuff but this guy has no boundaries.
0SeaMonkey0 lolol at anything involving a perineum. If you wouldn't ask a non-pregnant person about a body part - you don't get to ask a pregnant person about it.
What does RMT stand for?
BFP #1 5/5/13 MC confirmed 5/9/13
BFP #5 5/16/18 EDD 1/29/19
Knottie60812882 I feel bad for your bigger sister, even if her comments were rude.
This is totally me in my family, my sister had twins and was still smaller than me throughout her pregnancy. Relatives compare our sizes a lot especially when we were growing up, so I can relate to your sis.
(Sorry to sidetrack from the thread topic.)
camichael84 still sidetracking...
My sister and I are extremely close and the weight issue has never been a source of conflict between us. She's the best big sister in the world - I could tell you a million and one things she did for me growing up that I will never forget, and we are even closer now.
I think you'll have the opportunity to help shield them from comparison talk and lay down the law if needed. My grandparents mostly would make comments about our sizes in front of us, and my mom could/should have put a stop to it.
And just when I was feeling better about creeping up on 20lbs at 24 weeks. What I really needed was a reminder that I'm apparently huge.
Ugh.
"What happened to your stomach?"
"Why are you having a baby?"
"You're having a boy? I like girls better."
LOL it's very entertaining now that I'm showing.
My mom was telling her and her little sister all about how big the baby is right now, etc. and she looked my mom dead in the eye, and said very seriously
"I know what they did to make that baby"
HA!! I wasn't there but would have paid to see the look on my mothers face!
Your sister should know to NEVER comment on another part of the body besides baby belly (and sometimes not even that) when someone is pregnant-- trust me, I spend enough time poking at my newly formed love handles, I don't need anyone else pointing them out too!