Zeke has been waking up a minimum of 3 times a night for the last several weeks (and lately it's been more like 5 times)... I always nurse him (and sometimes he eats a full meal each wake up and other times he falls asleep within seconds of getting my boob in his mouth). I'm tempted to try Ferber but I just don't know because I never know if he's waking in the night because he's truly hungry or not and I don't want him to wake screaming for food and me just let him scream...
Going to bed has been a little better - usually after we've gone through our routine he rocks to sleep in less than 10 minutes... but I'm wondering if me rocking him to sleep is causing him to want to wake up more often in the night. I'm so tired!
Thanks Elle MF728!! So did u do the removal technique? I've been trying but if he's not in a deep sleep he won't let me,but I also haven't been consistent. Good to hear it worked for u for one of your LOs. I tried modified Ferber w my second one,but this LO wakes up screaming every hour so I'm not sure if something else is wrong, I know big part is that he can't go back to sleep on his own but it feels that something else is bugging me- not sure. I just feel like I need to do something,waking up every hr is killing me!!
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm such a ostrich when it comes to sleep training. So we bed share, and I'm liking it actually...a lot. I know we should probably sleep train her and without a doubt, she needs to learn to put herself to sleep, but I just don't have it in me to do Ferber or CIO. We still hold her for naps ffs. I hate how saying this makes me feel like I'm being a detriment to my child and I feel embarrassed about telling people all this- but my daughter is just high needs as hell. 20 minutes sleeping in the crib for a nap or 45- a hour and a half in my arms. There's no comparison. I still have to bounce her to sleep too which I could do without. If she could just fall asleep on her own things would be great.
Same here!! Feel for you!! I also feel.like we need to sleep train but I can't do ferber. My LO wakes up every hour and the only thing that works is nursing him to sleep. I've been trying the no cry sleep soln but no luck yet- I haven't been consistent though since I'm so exhausted!! Good luck!
Thanks Elle MF728!! So did u do the removal technique? I've been trying but if he's not in a deep sleep he won't let me,but I also haven't been consistent. Good to hear it worked for u for one of your LOs. I tried modified Ferber w my second one,but this LO wakes up screaming every hour so I'm not sure if something else is wrong, I know big part is that he can't go back to sleep on his own but it feels that something else is bugging me- not sure. I just feel like I need to do something,waking up every hr is killing me!!
I did not use the removal technique because I was bottle feeding. Another woman on my home board swears by it though. I used the troubleshooting method for bottle fed babies. It's the same overall idea ie removing suck sleep associations, but the process was a little different.
If you are nursing to sleep then using the pull off method should help with all those extra wakes. Once you remove sleep associations at bedtime a lot of older babies will just naturally shift to only waking when they are hungry.
What I've done with my little one when she wakes up in the middle of the night is trying a pacifier first. If she is content with the pacifier, AWESOME, if she is fussing again after 1 or 2 tries with the paci then it's food time. I bottle feed and usually use the time after she first takes the pacifier to make a bottle. I don't use the Ferber method though. I let my first CIO and I think it was detrimental to her.
If there's something strange underneath the hood. Who you gonna call? Your Doctor. If there's something weird and it don't look good. Who you gonna call? Your Doctor. Immediately. If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor. It's for your health and your child's.
What I've done with my little one when she wakes up in the middle of the night is trying a pacifier first. If she is content with the pacifier, AWESOME, if she is fussing again after 1 or 2 tries with the paci then it's food time. I bottle feed and usually use the time after she first takes the pacifier to make a bottle. I don't use the Ferber method though. I let my first CIO and I think it was detrimental to her.
Mine used to take a paci and would sometimes go back to sleep but now she hates it!! I think i might try another kind, we only have Mams. Ferber didn't work for us, she just would get hysterical and then I'd end up nursing her to get her to calm down, totally not the point. What negative effect, if you don't mind me asking, do you think CIO had an your daughter?
My little man gets hysterical unless he gets a boob in his mouth when he wakes up in the middle of the night. I've tried pacis and rocking him back to sleep but that doesn't work - it's boob or bust. If I pull my boob out before he's done it just seems to ensure he'll be up in an hour looking for more. I've thought about doing Ferber just so he has some skills to put himself to sleep but since I don't nurse him to sleep anymore (now I rock him because he wasn't falling asleep while nursing), I'm not sure why it has to be boob in the middle of the night (when he only eats a minute before zonking out. Half the time (or even most of the time) he eats a full meal but it's never the same wake ups)
What I've done with my little one when she wakes up in the middle of the night is trying a pacifier first. If she is content with the pacifier, AWESOME, if she is fussing again after 1 or 2 tries with the paci then it's food time. I bottle feed and usually use the time after she first takes the pacifier to make a bottle. I don't use the Ferber method though. I let my first CIO and I think it was detrimental to her.
I used to do this, but now LO just pulls it out of her mouth and plays with for awhile, and I'm not sure I want to give her a 'toy' that will encourage her to stay awake.
Right now my LO seems to have 2-4 times at night where she just gets up. She doesn't cry, she's not necessarily hungry (though sometimes she'll stay up till she eats, which could be hours if I'm not cajoling her into it bc she's obviously not really hungry), she's just... up. If you leave her in the pnp, (something I was only able to do last night bc DH slept on the couch, usually as soon as she makes a peep he bugs me till I take her out of the room) she'll babble to herself for a good 20 minutes, then either pass out again or cry for food. I'd like to let her babble and self soothe herself down, especially if she's not hungry, but DH gets pissy about listening to her. I'm thinking either he or the 2 of us need to move into the guest room until this is sorted.
ETA also, she went the longest time only needing 1 feed at night, until the last week or so, now she needs 2-3. I'm wondering if it's a growth spurt (her daily intake seems the same) or needing more food via solids. We took a break bc she's on antibiotics and I didn't want to upset her tummy too much at once, but she'll be done on Thursday, guess we'll have to start up in earnest and see if it helps.
What I've done with my little one when she wakes up in the middle of the night is trying a pacifier first. If she is content with the pacifier, AWESOME, if she is fussing again after 1 or 2 tries with the paci then it's food time. I bottle feed and usually use the time after she first takes the pacifier to make a bottle. I don't use the Ferber method though. I let my first CIO and I think it was detrimental to her.
I used to do this, but now LO just pulls it out of her mouth and plays with for awhile, and I'm not sure I want to give her a 'toy' that will encourage her to stay awake.
Right now my LO seems to have 2-4 times at night where she just gets up. She doesn't cry, she's not necessarily hungry (though sometimes she'll stay up till she eats, which could be hours if I'm not cajoling her into it bc she's obviously not really hungry), she's just... up. If you leave her in the pnp, (something I was only able to do last night bc DH slept on the couch, usually as soon as she makes a peep he bugs me till I take her out of the room) she'll babble to herself for a good 20 minutes, then either pass out again or cry for food. I'd like to let her babble and self soothe herself down, especially if she's not hungry, but DH gets pissy about listening to her. I'm thinking either he or the 2 of us need to move into the guest room until this is sorted.
ETA also, she went the longest time only needing 1 feed at night, until the last week or so, now she needs 2-3. I'm wondering if it's a growth spurt (her daily intake seems the same) or needing more food via solids. We took a break bc she's on antibiotics and I didn't want to upset her tummy too much at once, but she'll be done on Thursday, guess we'll have to start up in earnest and see if it helps.
I think the "toys" and loveys and things like that are forms of self soothing. My little girl does the same thing with her paci some nights and will sort of fondle it and talk to it until she goes to sleep.
Mine used to take a paci and would sometimes go back to sleep but now she hates it!! I think i might try another kind, we only have Mams. Ferber didn't work for us, she just would get hysterical and then I'd end up nursing her to get her to calm down, totally not the point. What negative effect, if you don't mind me asking, do you think CIO had an your daughter?
My daughter has a lot of communication issues. She was slow to talk and communicate initially and has a very hard time processing speech to this day. I can't help but wonder if ignoring her attempts to communicate distress at a very young age (which is what CIO does when you boil it down) didn't lead to a learned helplessness situation where she didn't feel as though vocal communication was useful so did not attempt it. I don't know that her communication issues were caused or exacerbated by using the CIO method, but I don't know that they weren't so I'd rather avoid the potential issue and associated mom guilt with DD2.
If there's something strange underneath the hood. Who you gonna call? Your Doctor. If there's something weird and it don't look good. Who you gonna call? Your Doctor. Immediately. If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor. It's for your health and your child's.
Popping back in with an update. Things are much better.
A few days ago I started a nap routine. I put her back in pajamas, use the sleep sack, we read a book and rock and snuggle, and into the crib she goes.
She screamed bloody murder for about an hour before drifting off, but it was her "I'm pissed!" cry, not her "I'm actually upset and need my mommy" cry. I went in to check on her after 5 minutes, then every 10 or so. Rubbed her little head, gave kisses, etc. You know the deal.
That night, we switched up bedtime. She got her bottle first (instead of last), then started her bedtime routine: baby massage, pajamas, book, a couple songs, snuggles and into the crib. She went to sleep without a peep, but still woke up twice. The first time I gave her a pacifier, the second time I nursed her.
Repeat this routine for a few days.
Last night she finally STTN again (sorta, went down at 915 and woke up at 5, I nursed her and she slept until about 7).
Too early to call it a success story but I'm optimistic, and I really hope those of you who are struggling with sleep get some good rest soon.
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married 2010
TTC: Feb 2014, BFP 7/14/14, CP 7/18/14
BFP 3/10/15 - DD #1 born 11/19 TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17 BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
Update: I have realized something about my baby's sleep this week: I'm fine with letting him whine himself to sleep, which honestly, I think he NEEDS to do. I know not all babies are like that, but he always fusses a bit before he drifts off, no matter what I do, he fusses on the breast as he falls asleep even, in the carseat, in the stroller, its just his way of going to sleep. I am not however fine with prolonged, hysterical sobbing where he just gives up out of sheer exhaustion at the end. I don't think that is good, and I don't think he learns anything that I want him to learn. So long as I put him in the crib sleepy, he will fuss a little and go to sleep, but if for whatever reason he is not sleepy enough, he will hysterically sob and I can't cope with that. This is what I am doing now, I listen to his cries and decide what to do, which I know is not what the book says, but its what I can live with. Also I have realized I can't just not feed him at night. So when he wakes up hungry, I feed him immediately. I would rather be sleepy and know that he is fed and well, than lay in bed feeling like an asshole wondering if he is really hungry and I'm just not feeding him. I guess I figure, this will certainly not last forever and at 6 months, he might legitimately need to eat at night, what do I know? Like I said, I would just rather feed him, so thats what we're doing.
@PocoHR I do the same thing. The different cries definitely mean something to me. I'm not gonna let him cry if I'm not positive that his needs are met.
If he wakes up after sleeping awhile I'll always let him nurse. I assume if he woke from a sound sleep and is upset then he actually needs something. I don't mind the number of wake ups as long as he can go back to sleep by himself and hopefully in a timely manner, lol.
Re: Ferber
Going to bed has been a little better - usually after we've gone through our routine he rocks to sleep in less than 10 minutes... but I'm wondering if me rocking him to sleep is causing him to want to wake up more often in the night. I'm so tired!
Same here!! Feel for you!! I also feel.like we need to sleep train but I can't do ferber. My LO wakes up every hour and the only thing that works is nursing him to sleep. I've been trying the no cry sleep soln but no luck yet- I haven't been consistent though since I'm so exhausted!! Good luck!
If you are nursing to sleep then using the pull off method should help with all those extra wakes. Once you remove sleep associations at bedtime a lot of older babies will just naturally shift to only waking when they are hungry.
Right now my LO seems to have 2-4 times at night where she just gets up. She doesn't cry, she's not necessarily hungry (though sometimes she'll stay up till she eats, which could be hours if I'm not cajoling her into it bc she's obviously not really hungry), she's just... up. If you leave her in the pnp, (something I was only able to do last night bc DH slept on the couch, usually as soon as she makes a peep he bugs me till I take her out of the room) she'll babble to herself for a good 20 minutes, then either pass out again or cry for food. I'd like to let her babble and self soothe herself down, especially if she's not hungry, but DH gets pissy about listening to her. I'm thinking either he or the 2 of us need to move into the guest room until this is sorted.
ETA also, she went the longest time only needing 1 feed at night, until the last week or so, now she needs 2-3. I'm wondering if it's a growth spurt (her daily intake seems the same) or needing more food via solids. We took a break bc she's on antibiotics and I didn't want to upset her tummy too much at once, but she'll be done on Thursday, guess we'll have to start up in earnest and see if it helps.
My daughter has a lot of communication issues. She was slow to talk and communicate initially and has a very hard time processing speech to this day. I can't help but wonder if ignoring her attempts to communicate distress at a very young age (which is what CIO does when you boil it down) didn't lead to a learned helplessness situation where she didn't feel as though vocal communication was useful so did not attempt it. I don't know that her communication issues were caused or exacerbated by using the CIO method, but I don't know that they weren't so I'd rather avoid the potential issue and associated mom guilt with DD2.
A few days ago I started a nap routine. I put her back in pajamas, use the sleep
sack, we read a book and rock and snuggle, and into the crib she goes.
She screamed bloody murder for about an hour before drifting off, but it was her "I'm pissed!" cry, not her "I'm actually upset and need my mommy" cry. I went in to check on her after 5 minutes, then every 10 or so. Rubbed her little head, gave kisses, etc. You know the deal.
That night, we switched up bedtime. She got her bottle first (instead of last), then started her bedtime routine: baby massage, pajamas, book, a couple songs, snuggles and into the crib. She went to sleep without a peep, but still woke up twice. The first time I gave her a pacifier, the second time I nursed her.
Repeat this routine for a few days.
Last night she finally STTN again (sorta, went down at 915 and woke up at 5, I nursed her and she slept until about 7).
Too early to call it a success story but I'm optimistic, and I really hope those of you who are struggling with sleep get some good rest soon.
TTC #2: Oct 2017, BFP 12/19/17, CP 12/22/17
BFP 2/20/18 - EDD 10/31/2018
If he wakes up after sleeping awhile I'll always let him nurse. I assume if he woke from a sound sleep and is upset then he actually needs something. I don't mind the number of wake ups as long as he can go back to sleep by himself and hopefully in a timely manner, lol.