February 2016 Moms
DrillSergeantCat
member
Sharing is caring??
DrillSergeantCat
member
I read this blog post this morning that makes total sense to me, but I'm bored and want to hear what you ladies think as well.
https://www.popsugar.com/moms/Should-You-Teach-Kids-Share-27333250?utm_source=com_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=com_newsletter_v3_05112016&em_recid=181132090&utm_content=placement_1_image
tl:dr - we shouldn't teach our children to share unless they want to because as adults we don't share like many moms expect children to.
https://www.popsugar.com/moms/Should-You-Teach-Kids-Share-27333250?utm_source=com_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=com_newsletter_v3_05112016&em_recid=181132090&utm_content=placement_1_image
tl:dr - we shouldn't teach our children to share unless they want to because as adults we don't share like many moms expect children to.
Re: Sharing is caring??
We run into the same thing regarding playing with others. She always wants to play with people, usually older kids, so we've had several conversations about how sometimes other people won't want to play with us, and that's ok.
With that said, though, I really don't think that telling children to share is the source of the entitlement issues and adulthood.
I think common toys at preschools, parks, etc and most toys when friends come over to play are very different and should be shared. The whole point of those situations is to develop pro-social behaviors like sharing, asking to play, self-advocating, turn taking, problem solving, etc that are so important. Learning how to handle tough situations/emotions through play is some of the most important of the "work" of play.
I also think it's pretty entitled to play with the red car for 1.5 hrs just because you got there first and don't care that others want a turn.
think there has to be a balance in how/when we encourage sharing or don't.
I guess when I read it, I figured that there were two sides to the story and that maybe the car wasn't nearly identical to the other child who wanted to use it. Especially since the author's child loved that one red car specifically, I figured the other child probably felt the same way. I totally agree about learning to deal with disappointment--and sometimes disappointment for my daughter will be having to move on from a preferred activity after a good long time when someone else wants a turn. Like @VitaLuna said, there needs to be a balance over when/how sharing occurs.
I have always been one to believe sharing is caring because it's respectful, but also I'm one of seven so there were plenty of times I couldn't get something someone else was playing with. In the article she says they hold toys and swings for kids when they go to the restroom. Being one of seven we had a you snooze you loose policy for everything. As an adult sounds silly but it made for fun memories with my family lol.
Yeah, I think I'll try to encourage my kids to share their toys with other kids - not force them to, but make them feel good about it if they do share. I have a different opinion about this if a child is bullying/demanding to play with a toy that isn't theirs. That's not cool, and that kind of behavior should be nipped in the bud. But if a child is showing interest in the toy and asking to play with it, I think it's great to encourage sharing and bonding with other people.
The red car toy thing just struck me the wrong way. The author was so proud of the fact that her son rode around on the thing for 1.5 hours, ignoring the adult who approached him asking if her kid could have a turn. It's rude. Like @MississippiCatfish said, it's almost like she's teaching him entitlement instead of how to handle disappointment, because he wasn't forced to engage/negotiate with other people who wanted a turn. As a parent, I think she should've stepped in here to explain his options instead of basically allowing him to be a jerk. As far as there being other, nearly identical toys around...she says, "there's this one red car in particular my son really likes playing with" and it implies to me there is something different about that toy. But if there really were identical toys available, her son could have pointed that out to the adult and been on his way (instead of ignoring her) or gracefully given the other kid a turn and grabbed the identical toy himself.