STMs with a toddler at home

imrachellea · May 2016

Do any of you feel like it's actually easier to go out than stay home with both kids? Yesterday I went to Target with both girls and felt like I was so much more calm and roll with the punches, then I lost it once we were home and trying to figure out lunch and naps. I feel like when we're out, my toddler is better behaved, she can't destroy the house, and I have other people around that would judge me yelling which helps my cool (don't judge, we all know we've been there lol). LO isn't the easiest baby to take out...she doesn't sleep in the car (usually screams actually) and I have to wear her in a wrap because she won't be content in her carseat...and it's HOT in Florida. But my sanity can only stretch so far. I've been home all day with both kids today and I have screamed right along with them (not AT them, just screamed out). I'm hoping LO gets better in the car because my toddler at home is going to make me lose my mind...

K&Elizabeth · May 2016

Lunch/nap time is by far the hardest part of my day. DD undoubtedly will have a melt down and of course DS will need to eat at the same time. We're at chic fil a right now. I'm sitting out with DS and DD is playing in the play area. We've been going to the park, too. I think it's definitely easier ice we're out. Getting out of the house? That's a different story haha. DS is a pretty fussy baby, but sleeps well in the car and his wrap. If we don't get out, DD turns into a wound up nut case.

Rawa1416 · May 2016

Lurking from June but my toddler is 10x better out than she is at home and most days if I don't get out at least once, I just about lose my mind. Hoping the baby is easy-going (not likely) so I can take them out when I start losing my sanity at home.

K&Elizabeth · May 2016

Also, I feel like it takes less to entertain DD when we're out. When we're at home, she needs my attention 100% of the time. When we're out, she's much more independent.

MrsZko · May 2016

I don't have DS1 at home every day of the week but when I do I try to get out. 100%. It helps the time go by, and it makes him happy because it's a treat, and is usually well behaved. Ds2 is an easy going baby though so that helps a lot. I'm very nervous for our first bedtimes alone, as DH starts baseball season this week....not sure how I'll pull it off. Any tips are welcome!!!

Mailmans Baby Momma · May 2016

I'm chicken shit and have tried it alone with two kids yet.

imrachellea · May 2016

@MrsZko Oh man I hadn't even thought about bedtimes yet. Naps stress me out enough...in fact I skipped DD1s today because I couldn't handle the stress (and also, I wanted to be at Chipotle at 3pm to avoid lines for their Teacher Appreciation BOGO...). DH coaches soccer so he actually won't be gone for bedtimes until the fall. DD2 will be 6 months and should be on a schedule by then. Still...stress...

K&Elizabeth · May 2016

@MrsZko and @imrachellea I have done 1 bedtime by myself (DHs best friend's birthday). It was an eye opening experience for sure haha. Spoiler alert- it is almost impossible to hold a newborn while simultaneously rubbing a toddler's back.

MrsCayEye · May 2016

I haven't taken them both out by myself yet since DH has been home, but he goes back to work tomorrow so I'll have both kids. DS is wild at home and gets stir crazy really quickly, but he's usually pretty good when we are out so I'm trying to figure out things for us to go do on the days he isn't in daycare.

amaniupendo · May 2016

Going out is the best thing! We love walking around town and going to the park with the kids. It's a good way to get the baby to nap and engage the 4yo.

runningwild · May 2016

I'm right there with ya'll! Going out is easier and makes the time pass better when it's just DD2 and DD3. When DD1 is not in school, it's easier to be home I think, because going out with 3 kiddos by myself stresses me out. Lol

Ready4theParty · May 2016

We gave up on naps with DD1. We have quiet time where we might watch a movie or read several books. I haven't taken the girls out on my own yet, but I expect it won't be a nightmare.

jasmineahenderson · May 2016

Putting both kids to bed by yourself isn't that bad you just need to have a plan. I use that time as DS1 alone time so I put my LO in the pack and play during that time and watch him on the monitor. It just requires that I have already fed him so that he's not screaming while I'm trying to put the other one down. So far though it's been OK. What's hard is when DS1 wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to come to mommies bed while I'm feeding my other one. Then I have two awake kids.

momofmanyinthemitten · May 2016

I just took all 4 out for the first time today. We walked to story time at the library. DH met us there after dropping the car off at the garage, which I was thankful for. Helping a 5, 3, and 2 year make a fire engine craft alone would've been darn near impossible while baby wearing #4, who is 5 days old. I agree that being out and about is easier-kids are more entertained, therefore better behaved, and the house isn't getting torn apart.

Brandi81012 · May 2016

I was very nervous to take both kids out of the house becaus DD1 (2.5) is not always the most well behaved child, even with us trying everything in our power to get her to behave( if anyone has suggestions for a toddler who is told not to do something then looks at you and slowly does what she was told not to, I will take all your suggestions). I have taken both kids to my parents restaurant during the early afternoon while the restaurant is slow. That is wonderful because there are three extra hands and eyes that help with coralling DD1.
I have not been brave enough to go to Target with both because DD2 hates her car seat and cries so I would have to wear her in the ring sling and it has been rainy the last two weeks.
On the days DD1 goes to daycare I take DD2 on all kinds of errands.

myla14 · May 2016

Both easier and harder....DS1 is a runner and also at times pretends his legs don't work. He also sometimes requires force to be put in a shopping cart seat. On the other hand, he also gets super crazy and jealous and emotionally volatile if we stay home too long. Fortunately DS2's most reliable nap time is in the afternoon so putting DS1 down for a nap hasn't been bad yet. Scared for that to change!

rebelone · May 2016

DD is also very good when we are out. She loves to go out. So I take her whenever I can to do errands and MH stays home with the baby. Lunch and naps are still not there yet because while I'm home it's MH with the baby or our toddler, neither of us have really done both at once by ourselves yet - which is something MH will have to do when I go back to work.

MrsZko · May 2016

Update! I did bedtime alone yesterday! It worked well because I waited til LO was asleep and then did bedtime with my oldest. LO was close enough for me to hear if he cried out but he's an easy baby so far and did great for me. So I'm encouraged that I can plan around his naps to take care of bedtime for the oldest. I just have to make sure I do it before he wakes from his last nap to cluster feed all evening!

amaniupendo · May 2016

Brandi81012 said:

I was very nervous to take both kids out of the house becaus DD1 (2.5) is not always the most well behaved child, even with us trying everything in our power to get her to behave( if anyone has suggestions for a toddler who is told not to do something then looks at you and slowly does what she was told not to, I will take all your suggestions). I have taken both kids to my parents restaurant during the early afternoon while the restaurant is slow. That is wonderful because there are three extra hands and eyes that help with coralling DD1.
I have not been brave enough to go to Target with both because DD2 hates her car seat and cries so I would have to wear her in the ring sling and it has been rainy the last two weeks.
On the days DD1 goes to daycare I take DD2 on all kinds of errands.

What about a park or playground where she doesn't really need to behave? Good place to practice?

Brandi81012 · May 2016

amaniupendo said:

Brandi81012 said:

I was very nervous to take both kids out of the house becaus DD1 (2.5) is not always the most well behaved child, even with us trying everything in our power to get her to behave( if anyone has suggestions for a toddler who is told not to do something then looks at you and slowly does what she was told not to, I will take all your suggestions). I have taken both kids to my parents restaurant during the early afternoon while the restaurant is slow. That is wonderful because there are three extra hands and eyes that help with coralling DD1.
I have not been brave enough to go to Target with both because DD2 hates her car seat and cries so I would have to wear her in the ring sling and it has been rainy the last two weeks.
On the days DD1 goes to daycare I take DD2 on all kinds of errands.

What about a park or playground where she doesn't really need to behave? Good place to practice?

I guess I am nervous because she is a runner, so I never thought that would be good. Maybe I am not giving her enough credit!

amaniupendo · May 2016

Brandi81012 said:

amaniupendo said:

Brandi81012 said:

I was very nervous to take both kids out of the house becaus DD1 (2.5) is not always the most well behaved child, even with us trying everything in our power to get her to behave( if anyone has suggestions for a toddler who is told not to do something then looks at you and slowly does what she was told not to, I will take all your suggestions). I have taken both kids to my parents restaurant during the early afternoon while the restaurant is slow. That is wonderful because there are three extra hands and eyes that help with coralling DD1.
I have not been brave enough to go to Target with both because DD2 hates her car seat and cries so I would have to wear her in the ring sling and it has been rainy the last two weeks.
On the days DD1 goes to daycare I take DD2 on all kinds of errands.

What about a park or playground where she doesn't really need to behave? Good place to practice?

I guess I am nervous because she is a runner, so I never thought that would be good. Maybe I am not giving her enough credit!

Worth a shot! Try finding one that's fenced or has a lot of grass around the playground. That way you have time to let her test her boundaries! Maybe the playground would take test her impulses in a safe place.

myla14 · May 2016

My 2 yo is a runner and we still go to the playground, but it is kind of stressful. We've been working more in listening since I can't run and scoop him up as well as I used to.

ashleymarie1027 · May 2016

Absolutely! Yesterday was my first day at home alone with the two boys and I took them on two errands... Target and the garden center. On my second outing at Tempe garden center I used the carrier for DS2 and DS1 sat in the cart, this was much easier then trying to haul around the infant car seat.

my biggest challenge was when we got back home and it was time to feed DS2 but DS1 wanted to go outside... So I sat on the living room floor nursing, watching my two year old have an epic meltdown for 15 minutes. On the bright side, once i realized there was absolutely nothing i could do (to stop the meltdown), I was able to keep my own stress level down.

DS2 is having a tough time with the transition... Hoping it gets better soon

MrsZko · May 2016

ashleymarie1027 said:

Absolutely! Yesterday was my first day at home alone with the two boys and I took them on two errands... Target and the garden center. On my second outing at Tempe garden center I used the carrier for DS2 and DS1 sat in the cart, this was much easier then trying to haul around the infant car seat.

my biggest challenge was when we got back home and it was time to feed DS2 but DS1 wanted to go outside... So I sat on the living room floor nursing, watching my two year old have an epic meltdown for 15 minutes. On the bright side, once i realized there was absolutely nothing i could do (to stop the meltdown), I was able to keep my own stress level down.

DS2 is having a tough time with the transition... Hoping it gets better soon

How old is DS1? I find that the hardest too. When I need to nurse he suddenly needs help with everything, and extra attention I can't give as I nurse. And generally speaking I think DS1 is handling the new arrival very well but I guess it can't be easy all the time!

ashleymarie1027 · May 2016

MrsZko said:

ashleymarie1027 said:

Absolutely! Yesterday was my first day at home alone with the two boys and I took them on two errands... Target and the garden center. On my second outing at Tempe garden center I used the carrier for DS2 and DS1 sat in the cart, this was much easier then trying to haul around the infant car seat.

my biggest challenge was when we got back home and it was time to feed DS2 but DS1 wanted to go outside... So I sat on the living room floor nursing, watching my two year old have an epic meltdown for 15 minutes. On the bright side, once i realized there was absolutely nothing i could do (to stop the meltdown), I was able to keep my own stress level down.

DS2 is having a tough time with the transition... Hoping it gets better soon

How old is DS1? I find that the hardest too. When I need to nurse he suddenly needs help with everything, and extra attention I can't give as I nurse. And generally speaking I think DS1 is handling the new arrival very well but I guess it can't be easy all the time!

He is almost 22 months, and very much a mamas boy. So he's not at the asking for help stage yet. His problem is that he can't fully communicate what he wants... He knows to say please, but doesn't get that he also needs to communicate the "what" ... So we end up with a lot of grunt/whining (very loud and very annoying). I find that i can handle it ok, because I tell myself that I'm the rational one in the room… However my husband is not handling it as well and gets very frustrated very quickly. So I usually end up getting stressed because my husband is stressed. We also recently moved him into a new bedroom, and tried to switch him into a big kid bed… That did not go well and now he has two beds in his room, one race car and one crib.

ans because I am a working mom my older child still goes to daycare during the weekdays. On the bright side, it's nice because I get plenty of time to bond with the little one, and makes it easier for me to mentally prioritize the older kid in the evenings, because the baby got "all day with me"

how old is yours?

MrsZko · May 2016

@ashleymarie1027 I get it. When they can't really tell you it's that much harder. And sounds like he had lots of big changes recently! It'll get better I'm sure! Mine is 4 so old enough to understand and even help but 4 is another level of stubborn we're discovering and it is tricky sometimes lol!

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