October 2016 Moms

(Untitled)

Hi everyone, I don't post offten, but I thought I would share this. 

My husband and I decided to have a gender reveal for our second pregnancy.  We decided to get a cake from Publix, our local grocery store. We asked the ultrasound technician to write down the gender of our baby and give it to us. The idea seemed simple enough. Everything went well while we were at the scan.  Afterward we decided to stop at Barnes & Noble to get some coffee before our next appointment. I then decided to call the grocery right then to place the order, but I didn't have anybody I knew to open the envelope for us. I decided to ask a lady who was bottlefeeding her daughter thinking she would be the best choice since could relate the most with our excitement. When I asked, she got so excited she said "Of course, I'd be glad to be part of the special moment!" I handed her the envelope and my phone and told her I had the bakery on the line.  I walked away, at that moment as my husband was walking in my direction. I told him what was going on, he was so excited to know that we were going to get our cake done.  A few minutes later she called  us over; she had told the lady at the bakery what to do. I hung up on the bakery and thanked the lady.  Little did I know that  we were in for a big surprise. 

I went to pick up the cake and got ready for dinner, we were meeting up with some friends at a local restaurant. We finished dinner and couldn't wait another second to find out! With our daughter's help we cut into the cake, as we pulled out the spatula we could clearly see it was BLUE!! My husband let out a cry of joy and fist pumped the air. He couldn't be happier! He immediately called his family and friends. Later that night we decided to post on Facebook our good news and even went to our local Janie and Jack to buy our baby boy's first outfit. We were thrilled! 

The next morning while I was at work my husband gave me a call. While eating breakfast, he noticed the envelope and decided to look inside. There were two blue Post-it notes stuck to the ultrasound pictures. He lifted both Post-it's to look at the baby to see if he could tell what sex it was himself. After looking at the baby he was a little confused. The Post-it's were blue but it didn't appear that there was a little boy in the picture. He decided to flip through the Post-it notes and on the second note he saw the word "GIRL".  I was in total shock I couldn't believe that there had been a mistake!! I was happy we were having a boy, especially for my husband, but wanted to have a girl so my daughter had a playmate. I felt an incredible feeling of guilt. I apologized to my husband a hundred times, even though I knew it wasn't my fault. I ran through all the scenarios in my head trying to figure out what went wrong. Within minutes I had a migraine and could barely keep my eyes open, they became sensitive to light. The best explanation was that the lady at Barnes & Noble did not flip through the Post-it notes and only looked at the fact that they were blue Post-its, thinking it was a boy, she told the lady on the phone to make the cake as such.

My husband was so upset he called the doctors office to re-confirm the gender of the baby. He talked to the lady that performed the sonogram and learned that as a practical joke she decided to use the opposite colored Post-it notes and write the actual sex of the baby inside. In all honesty this made me a little upset, I understand that she was trying to keep us from cheating by looking inside and getting the wrong idea, but instead her joke caused confusion and affected a very special night for us. 

We are both so excited to have a girl on the way! My husband reassured me time and time again that although he was excited about having a boy, his experience with our first baby girl has been amazing and couldn't wait to meet his princess! I was so relieved, I knew all this in my heart, but was glad he was saying it to me. We are truly blessed to have a healthy baby girl on the way, I just wish that we could have shared the excitement for her arrival from the very beginning. I know I may look back on this one day and laugh, but right now it's still a sensitive matter. 



So ladies...as a recommendation, from someone who had a-not-so-great-reveal. If you decide to have one, make sure to confirm the sex before spreading the news like wild fire, or at the very least have someone you really trust organize the revel!

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Re: (Untitled)

  • Wow! I'm still deciding if I want to find out but this reconfirms my idea of bringing my own paper and envelope!
    ~Erin~ 
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  • Oh my goodness you poor dear! There is a lesson and humor both in your situation though, how many people can say that happened to them? If nothing else it makes for a great story to tell later!

    Congratulations on your baby girl by the way :)
  • Holy cow. I'd be so upset. There is some humor in this...like you said, one day you might look back on this and laugh but for now, ugh, I'm sorry this happened to you. 

    Congratulations on a beautiful little girl!
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  • I do hope you can laugh about this one day.  Totally a first world problems kind of topic...  Definitely a lesson involved in this if gender reveal parties are your thing.   Sorry it happened to you but I did giggle a little reading your story.  

    Also,  how about adding a subject thread title? 
  • kmallskmalls member
    @lalala2004 - congrats on the birth of your son! NOW LEAVE MY BMB ALONE. 

    jk jk ;) 
  • BoyMom44 said:
    Being called "extremely unprofessional" for picking a blue piece of paper and writing girl? seriously? Get a grip. There are bigger issues in this world. 

    Explain to me how it is professional to do something like that and then laugh about it? I am honestly curious as to how this is a professional thing to do.


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  • kmallskmalls member
    edited May 2016
    I guess I wouldn't consider this "tampering with information." The pertinent info was clearly there, it's just the person who was tasked with looking at that information missed the most important part. It's a shitty situation for sure, but I agree that writing "girl!" on a blue post-it isn't something to be up in arms about. For me, the moral of the story is to not trust a stranger with (what is to the OP, anyway) something this important. 
  • Again, talking to the OB about something that upset you is not at all over-reacting IMHO. If you know anything about my posting history and feelings about sex-reveal etc. then you know I normally do not arm-flail over this type of thing. However, I don't think a tech intentionally tampering with information (which, lets face it-- that is what this is) is a professional thing to do. Those that disagree with me are free to do so, but I wonder what else this tech is doing with information being given to patients if they think this is "funny".
    She picked a blue post-it, ostensibly to make it a little harder to peek at the information.  That's it.  She wasn't "intentionally tampering with information."  She didn't write "BOY" somewhere, change the ultrasound picture, or change the information actually written on the ultrasound.  If somebody looked at a blue post-it and assumed "BOY" without actually reading what was written there, that's their own fault, not the tech's.

    The room that will be our baby's room is painted blue.  We have no intention of repainting it regardless of the sex of our child.  If we have a little girl and people visit our house, I'm pretty sure they're not going to get confused about the sex of our child just because she has a blue nursery.
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  • kmalls said:
    I guess I wouldn't consider this "tampering with information." The pertinent info was clearly there, it's just the person who was tasked with looking at that information missed the most important part. It's a shitty situation for sure, but I agree that writing "girl!" on a blue post-it isn't something to be up in arms about. For me, the moral of the story is to not trust a stranger with (what is to the OP, anyway) something this important. 
    Right, fair enough.
    simcal18 said:
    Again, talking to the OB about something that upset you is not at all over-reacting IMHO. If you know anything about my posting history and feelings about sex-reveal etc. then you know I normally do not arm-flail over this type of thing. However, I don't think a tech intentionally tampering with information (which, lets face it-- that is what this is) is a professional thing to do. Those that disagree with me are free to do so, but I wonder what else this tech is doing with information being given to patients if they think this is "funny".
    She picked a blue post-it, ostensibly to make it a little harder to peek at the information.  That's it.  She wasn't "intentionally tampering with information."  She didn't write "BOY" somewhere, change the ultrasound picture, or change the information actually written on the ultrasound.  If somebody looked at a blue post-it and assumed "BOY" without actually reading what was written there, that's their own fault, not the tech's.

    The room that will be our baby's room is painted blue.  We have no intention of repainting it regardless of the sex of our child.  If we have a little girl and people visit our house, I'm pretty sure they're not going to get confused about the sex of our child just because she has a blue nursery.
    I see what you are saying here. I am questioning if this OP is a real story, TBH. However, the part that would bother me is that the tech laughed over the phone to OP's husband about it. I agree, the onus is on OP and husband to READ the correct information, but the attitude of the tech is still suspect to me.


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  • Maybe I missed something but I didn't ever read the tech laughed on the phone. 
  • I see what you are saying here. I am questioning if this OP is a real story, TBH. However, the part that would bother me is that the tech laughed over the phone to OP's husband about it. I agree, the onus is on OP and husband to READ the correct information, but the attitude of the tech is still suspect to me. 
    That's fair.  I'm questioning the story a bit too, and if it is true, the tech laughing at the confusion probably wasn't the most professional response.  And if somebody did get confused it's not very smart to refer to the source of the confusion as a "joke."  But if I were the tech, I'd probably have been laughing on the inside at least.  They frequently see missed miscarriages, nonviable pregnancies, serious in utero medical conditions .  .  . somebody getting seriously worked up at the presence or absence of a baby penis probably doesn't register to them as something to treat super sensitively. 
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  • simcal18 said:
    I see what you are saying here. I am questioning if this OP is a real story, TBH. However, the part that would bother me is that the tech laughed over the phone to OP's husband about it. I agree, the onus is on OP and husband to READ the correct information, but the attitude of the tech is still suspect to me. 
    That's fair.  I'm questioning the story a bit too, and if it is true, the tech laughing at the confusion probably wasn't the most professional response.  And if somebody did get confused it's not very smart to refer to the source of the confusion as a "joke."  But if I were the tech, I'd probably have been laughing on the inside at least.  They frequently see missed miscarriages, nonviable pregnancies, serious in utero medical conditions .  .  . somebody getting seriously worked up at the presence or absence of a baby penis probably doesn't register to them as something to treat super sensitively. 
    Definitely. Right on all accounts. Its still something that needs to be worked on because its not a terribly appropriate response to an upset customer is my point. Whether or not you think the customer's situation is ludicrous (which it very well may be). You have to keep it together and do your job.

    Information of all varieties should be treated with respect when delivering it to a patient. Especially if they seem upset.


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  • BoyMom44 said:
    Maybe I missed something but I didn't ever read the tech laughed on the phone. 
    Same. Only that she meant it as a practical joke.
    All in all- This was a harmless accident, there was no malicious intent, and if anything that ultrasound tech was just trying to aid in the fun. Maybe not the best way to do so, but c'mon. 
  • This is hilarious. "Gender reveals" are tacky imo anyway. 
  • why does everyone lose their shit over gender reveals? I personally wanted to know the sex of my baby because I was trying to anticipate which jewish tradition I had to plan for (and also bc I wanted a white crib for a girl

    parties and cakes and bs are ridiculous. you're celebrating genitals people....


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  • simcal18 said:
    BoyMom44 said:
    Being called "extremely unprofessional" for picking a blue piece of paper and writing girl? seriously? Get a grip. There are bigger issues in this world. 

    Seriously.  This crap is why the more I think about it, the more I've become anti-sex reveal.  Finding out whether your baby has a penis or a vagina 20 weeks before you normally would is not a "very important" or "very special" moment.  It is a privilege that 99.99% of the world's population has not been able to (or still is not able to) enjoy.  And the bigger the deal that is made out of it, the more uncomfortable it makes me.  Why is the sex of your baby so important that it calls for professional photo shoots, extremely complicated reveal plans that involve total random strangers, crying and shaking at the results, and all of this hooplah?  I just don't get it.

    I care about whether my child is healthy, physically and emotionally.  I care that my child receives an education so that he or she learns about the world and learns the skills to navigate it.  I care about whether my child will grow up to become a kind, thoughtful person who contributes to the world.  My child's sex is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down on the list of things I care about.

    Additionally, I hate the additional emphasis that sex reveals place on gender roles.  The "daddy's little hunting/fishing buddy or mommy's shopping buddy?" stuff drives me crazy.  What if a little girl wants to hunt/fish or a little boy wants to shop?  Making a big deal out of a baby's sex before the baby is even born feels like imposing gender roles on a kid before the kid is even born, and I hate that.

    As to this particular nurse -- who cares if she used a blue post-it to write "girl?"  Are we so fucking sensitized when it comes to color for babies that it overrides our basic literacy skills?  It's not like the nurse actually wrote "BOY!!!!!!!  (wait just kidding girl)" on the post-it.  If OP was so invested in getting this right, she perhaps should have had it read by someone who was also invested in getting it right, like the bakery or a close friend/family member, read the post-it instead of some random person on the fly.  The woman who read the envelope screwed up, but you can't really blame her given that she was out running errands with her daughter and had this thing randomly thrown at her.

    And by the way OP -- your daughter would have had a playmate if this baby had been a boy too.  Brothers and sisters play together all the time.
    I do not agree with your statements of the gender not being important. You must know you will have a perfect vaginal birth where your husband catches the baby and says honey it's a ??? Actually for me nope I was knocked out, and a nurse in a dark cold operating room told me what I had. My baby or hauabnd was not around I did not get the big moment. Lots of people don't. People shouldn't be shamed for finding out early, it was the best thing we did cause over wise it would of been pretty sucky to find out in a operating room with nobody around. Not every birth ends well and I am glad I got to enjoy the moment with my husband at our $200 3D ultra sound that I know I over paid for. 
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  • Well I disagree with your disagreement over her disagreeing with the pp who disagreed with the OP. 

  • (Don't mind me, just still on my GIF kick)
  • von1976von1976 member
    simcal18 said:
    BoyMom44 said:
    Being called "extremely unprofessional" for picking a blue piece of paper and writing girl? seriously? Get a grip. There are bigger issues in this world. 

    Seriously.  This crap is why the more I think about it, the more I've become anti-sex reveal.  Finding out whether your baby has a penis or a vagina 20 weeks before you normally would is not a "very important" or "very special" moment.  It is a privilege that 99.99% of the world's population has not been able to (or still is not able to) enjoy.  And the bigger the deal that is made out of it, the more uncomfortable it makes me.  Why is the sex of your baby so important that it calls for professional photo shoots, extremely complicated reveal plans that involve total random strangers, crying and shaking at the results, and all of this hooplah?  I just don't get it.

    I care about whether my child is healthy, physically and emotionally.  I care that my child receives an education so that he or she learns about the world and learns the skills to navigate it.  I care about whether my child will grow up to become a kind, thoughtful person who contributes to the world.  My child's sex is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down on the list of things I care about.

    Additionally, I hate the additional emphasis that sex reveals place on gender roles.  The "daddy's little hunting/fishing buddy or mommy's shopping buddy?" stuff drives me crazy.  What if a little girl wants to hunt/fish or a little boy wants to shop?  Making a big deal out of a baby's sex before the baby is even born feels like imposing gender roles on a kid before the kid is even born, and I hate that.

    As to this particular nurse -- who cares if she used a blue post-it to write "girl?"  Are we so fucking sensitized when it comes to color for babies that it overrides our basic literacy skills?  It's not like the nurse actually wrote "BOY!!!!!!!  (wait just kidding girl)" on the post-it.  If OP was so invested in getting this right, she perhaps should have had it read by someone who was also invested in getting it right, like the bakery or a close friend/family member, read the post-it instead of some random person on the fly.  The woman who read the envelope screwed up, but you can't really blame her given that she was out running errands with her daughter and had this thing randomly thrown at her.

    And by the way OP -- your daughter would have had a playmate if this baby had been a boy too.  Brothers and sisters play together all the time.
    I do not agree with your statements of the gender not being important. You must know you will have a perfect vaginal birth where your husband catches the baby and says honey it's a ??? Actually for me nope I was knocked out, and a nurse in a dark cold operating room told me what I had. My baby or hauabnd was not around I did not get the big moment. Lots of people don't. People shouldn't be shamed for finding out early, it was the best thing we did cause over wise it would of been pretty sucky to find out in a operating room with nobody around. Not every birth ends well and I am glad I got to enjoy the moment with my husband at our $200 3D ultra sound that I know I over paid for. 
    What operating room were you in that was dark? I'll give you cold, but they definitely aren't dark.

    FWIW, no one was "shaming" anyone for finding out the sex (not gender, FYI) early. It was the ridiculousness of the OP's situation. If you want to find out the sex, find out the sex. If you want to have a big party that's blue or pink, have at it. But maybe don't get too upset when some random stranger reads the results wrong and the cake ends up the wrong color.

                                                                                                           
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  • Schell2013Schell2013 member
    edited May 2016
    von1976 said:
    simcal18 said:
    BoyMom44 said:
    Being called "extremely unprofessional" for picking a blue piece of paper and writing girl? seriously? Get a grip. There are bigger issues in this world. 

    Seriously.  This crap is why the more I think about it, the more I've become anti-sex reveal.  Finding out whether your baby has a penis or a vagina 20 weeks before you normally would is not a "very important" or "very special" moment.  It is a privilege that 99.99% of the world's population has not been able to (or still is not able to) enjoy.  And the bigger the deal that is made out of it, the more uncomfortable it makes me.  Why is the sex of your baby so important that it calls for professional photo shoots, extremely complicated reveal plans that involve total random strangers, crying and shaking at the results, and all of this hooplah?  I just don't get it.

    I care about whether my child is healthy, physically and emotionally.  I care that my child receives an education so that he or she learns about the world and learns the skills to navigate it.  I care about whether my child will grow up to become a kind, thoughtful person who contributes to the world.  My child's sex is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down on the list of things I care about.

    Additionally, I hate the additional emphasis that sex reveals place on gender roles.  The "daddy's little hunting/fishing buddy or mommy's shopping buddy?" stuff drives me crazy.  What if a little girl wants to hunt/fish or a little boy wants to shop?  Making a big deal out of a baby's sex before the baby is even born feels like imposing gender roles on a kid before the kid is even born, and I hate that.

    As to this particular nurse -- who cares if she used a blue post-it to write "girl?"  Are we so fucking sensitized when it comes to color for babies that it overrides our basic literacy skills?  It's not like the nurse actually wrote "BOY!!!!!!!  (wait just kidding girl)" on the post-it.  If OP was so invested in getting this right, she perhaps should have had it read by someone who was also invested in getting it right, like the bakery or a close friend/family member, read the post-it instead of some random person on the fly.  The woman who read the envelope screwed up, but you can't really blame her given that she was out running errands with her daughter and had this thing randomly thrown at her.

    And by the way OP -- your daughter would have had a playmate if this baby had been a boy too.  Brothers and sisters play together all the time.
    I do not agree with your statements of the gender not being important. You must know you will have a perfect vaginal birth where your husband catches the baby and says honey it's a ??? Actually for me nope I was knocked out, and a nurse in a dark cold operating room told me what I had. My baby or hauabnd was not around I did not get the big moment. Lots of people don't. People shouldn't be shamed for finding out early, it was the best thing we did cause over wise it would of been pretty sucky to find out in a operating room with nobody around. Not every birth ends well and I am glad I got to enjoy the moment with my husband at our $200 3D ultra sound that I know I over paid for. 
    What operating room were you in that was dark? I'll give you cold, but they definitely aren't dark.

    FWIW, no one was "shaming" anyone for finding out the sex (not gender, FYI) early. It was the ridiculousness of the OP's situation. If you want to find out the sex, find out the sex. If you want to have a big party that's blue or pink, have at it. But maybe don't get too upset when some random stranger reads the results wrong and the cake ends up the wrong color.
    It was dark because they were waiting for me to wake up. Obviously they don't operate in the dark. But yep it was dark in there when I woke up. 
    Eta- what point are you going with questioning if it was dark or not. The point is, it was far from a glamorous moment. It sucked to be quite frank, and it could happen to anyone. 
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  • von1976von1976 member
    @Schell2013 I wasn't making a point, it was a question. I work in a hospital, I've been in an OR, and I've seen a c-section or two. I've never seen one like you described, so I was curious. Having a baby isn't glamorous, no matter how you do it.

    My point was actually that finding out the sex has nothing to do with a reveal party.

                                                                                                           
    Anniversary

    Baby GIRL born 9/16/201
    BFP! EDD 8/1/2019 CP 4w2d

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