So as if having ppd isn't bad enough, I'm now depressed due to the fact that I had to stop breastfeeding because of the medication I just started taking for it. I know a lot of y'all eff and I don't know why I'm so sad about having to switch to doing that. I feel like my baby will be mad at me for not giving him the breast anymore. Am I crazy? Has anyone else experienced this? I'm so sick of being depressed.
Not crazy at all. I think there's a lot that sets us up for guilt (besides the obvious fact of being moms). I think "breast is best, was always a huge one for me. There's just so much pressure put on us to breastfeed.
The thing is, you're doing what's best for you and your little one. Being the best you and feeding your son formula is so much better than stubbornly breastfeeding him and being a shell.
When I had to stop by with DS I felt more guilt than ever in my life. I felt like I'd failed, like I hadn't tried hard enough, like there was something wrong with me. Then as the days went on and he was formula fed and I saw how happy he was, satisfied and thriving and healthy, it gradually became Okay. I honestly still have guilt over it at times and have to remind myself constantly of all these same things. He's still healthy and thriving and so very happy.
Congratulations on making it this far in bfing! You've done great and should be proud! You have to take care of yourself, and your baby needs you more than he/she needs your boob.
Agree with poster above! You made it quite far! I am weaning from breastfeeding slowly and I've had up and down days. Now that I'm almost totally weaned, I see that my relationship with my daughter hasn't changed at all and she finds just as much comfort from me with a bottle. I thought she would be mad at me or upset too but after a few days of me giving her bottles she got the drill and honestly I don't think she cares that she isn't getting the boob! She's into everything and I give her the bottle facing out so ahe can see and she loves it plus it's a very different position from nursing.
I struggled with PP anxiety and at first deciding to wean was super anxiety provoking for me. Now I feel less anxious and more at ease as I am not always worrying about supply issues and trying to pump at work.
I feel for you, @megankth. I developed PPD after struggling to breastfeed. We faced a few BF obstacles and introduced formula in my boy's early days. Logically I understood formula was best for our situation because he was healthy. Emotionally I was (and still am to some degree) a mess. As @Mizuiro007said, "Breast is best" added to my hardship. In addition to that implied pressure, I had my own dreams and expectations to reconcile. I'm still working on that. I will say, my turning point was "hearing" a fellow D15 mom say "my body made the decision." Until then, I felt I was failing my baby. My body though- that's nature/biology/out of my control. I can do nothing to rectify that. I can't "fix" that. If my body cannot feed my baby I can do nothing about it. I needed the separation between my expectations and my physical capabilities and @yl1m32015 's matter-of-fact statement helped me tremendously. It's become a sort of mantra and I'm forever grateful for it. We all have our own paths to traverse but how great to have traveling companions!! I wish you all well, Ladies.
Yes the guilt is the hardest part. Whenever I see "breast is best" I want to punch someone's face off. It's completely circumstantial. My son and I do "best" formula feeding.
Breastfeeding is a complete emotional roller-coaster. I killed myself to make it work with both my children for reasons I still don't understand so I get what you're going through in that respect. But doing what is best for you is also best for the baby so don't be too hard on yourself. Rest assured your baby may not think formula is as delicious as boob, but he won't be mad.
Re: Stopping breastfeeding due to ppd medication.
The thing is, you're doing what's best for you and your little one. Being the best you and feeding your son formula is so much better than stubbornly breastfeeding him and being a shell.
When I had to stop by with DS I felt more guilt than ever in my life. I felt like I'd failed, like I hadn't tried hard enough, like there was something wrong with me. Then as the days went on and he was formula fed and I saw how happy he was, satisfied and thriving and healthy, it gradually became Okay. I honestly still have guilt over it at times and have to remind myself constantly of all these same things. He's still healthy and thriving and so very happy.
Congratulations on making it this far in bfing! You've done great and should be proud! You have to take care of yourself, and your baby needs you more than he/she needs your boob.
I struggled with PP anxiety and at first deciding to wean was super anxiety provoking for me. Now I feel less anxious and more at ease as I am not always worrying about supply issues and trying to pump at work.
I will say, my turning point was "hearing" a fellow D15 mom say "my body made the decision." Until then, I felt I was failing my baby. My body though- that's nature/biology/out of my control. I can do nothing to rectify that. I can't "fix" that. If my body cannot feed my baby I can do nothing about it. I needed the separation between my expectations and my physical capabilities and @yl1m32015 's matter-of-fact statement helped me tremendously. It's become a sort of mantra and I'm forever grateful for it.
We all have our own paths to traverse but how great to have traveling companions!! I wish you all well, Ladies.
It gets better. I promise!