November 2016 Moms

Feeding babies

So there have been some questions about breastfeeding, pumping, formula feeding, and the combination of the three. Let's talk about that here.

This thread has the potential to get...interesting. People can have very different ideas and opinions on how to feed babies and children. Opinions are nice but science is too. If you are able to include citations or relevant links in your post it can be very helpful!  




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Re: Feeding babies

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  • I am a first time mom, and more than happy to talk about my decision to exclusively formula feed. I just don't know where to start beyond what I already said on the other thread. 
  • I'm happy to share from my experience and point to helpful resources along the way. My feeding experience covered the spectrum - EBF, pumping at work, supplementing with forumla. I EBF'd for 10 months and then started supplementing with formula. Stopped breastfeeding entirely shortly after his 1st birthday.

    I totally geeked out on breastfeeding the first time around and love to talk about it :) If you're looking for good , expert information about breastfeeding, I'd start here:
    • KellyMom.com
    • La Leche League
    These resources have been shared before, but might as well get them in this thread. I'm sure there are others too.
    KellyMom is the best!!!



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  • I am a second time mom and I hated breastfeeding my first. The positives to it were that it was somewhat free (quality nursing clothes aren't exactly cheap) and when he was a newborn, I could get him back to sleep MOTN without a ton of effort, or even having to get out of bed. But it was so painful for so long. And I had Mastisis and clogged ducts. I forced the breastfeeding for 5 months until I gave up mostly due to low supply and my son stopped gaining weight. I plan on attempting to breastfeed again in the beginning but I'm not going to hesitate switching over to glorious formula if I hate it again. 
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  • I loved nursing and I am so excited to have the opportunity to do it again! That being said, it had its share of challenges and I found kellymom.com so incredibly helpful! So many late night feelings were spent scouring that website for answers to questions and encouragement through he tough stuff. 

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  • Not a fan of breastfeed, personally. Formula works fine for us. As long as everyone feeds their kid, I don't give a shit. 
  • I'm so thankful for these posts. I'm a FTM and I had a very different idea on breastfeeding before seeing everyone's opinion on it. I had thought that breastfeeding was the best option and if you don't BF your baby then you're automatically a selfish and bad mother. I had only known that breast milk had all these great qualities and was so good for the baby and formula wasn't even half as healthy. Now I don't feel so pressured to BF and can make my own decision. Apparently I have inverted nipples so I'm not sure if I'll even get to.

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  • I've found these posts so helpful as a FTM. I love the support of this board. We have a great group of women here. I plan to EBF if I am able to, I am trying to have realistic expectations. It's nice knowing there are a lot of knowledgeable BF and FF Mamas to ask advice from not matter how I end up feeding my baby.
  • This board is awesome. I love that everyone here (so far!) seems to be supportive of the idea that feeding your baby is what's most important no matter how it happens. I plan on EBF for the first year if I can. I'm a very patient and stubborn person so I think it will take a lot before I give up, but it's been so nice to read that if I'm not happy with it, it's okay to stop. 

    Here's a question for all of you BF STMs... How do I handle traveling for work and BF? Sometimes I'm away for 4-5 days at a time. I'm lucky in that I can kind of make my own schedule when I'm traveling and be sure to schedule myself time to pump between meetings. I assume that I just build up a refridgerated/frozen stash before I go, pump while I'm traveling and then transport all of that milk back with me. Does that sound right? It seems like a lot of work when I think about it. I would love any tips or tricks!
  • shevaCCshevaCC member
    I've been breastfeeding for the last 4 years straight, first DD, then tandem nursing DS and DD, and now DD is mostly weaned, so mainly just nursing DS. I'm hoping for a short break before this new baby arrives, but might find myself tandem nursing again.

    I've gone back to work when both kids were 4.5 months old and pumped until they turned 1. Both my kids were night weaned around 20 months (recently for DS), both times mainly because I was pregnant and it became uncomfortable. Now I just nurse during daytime hours, almost exclusively at home, and almost exclusively in bed first thing in the morning/right at bedtime.

    I'm happy to answer any breastfeeding questions that come up. I have no experience with formula, but support moms feeding babies however works best for them.
  • I love hearing everyone's opinions and experiences. It's so nice to see a supportive community who respects everyone's choices!

    I plan to EBF if possible. I'll be a SAHM, eventually going to work part time at our family business. I am afraid of the first few days. I know you don't produce a lot in those days and I'm afraid I will be too tired and frustrated to keep going. I know my SIL has EBF 4 children and even with her 4th they pushed formula on her at the beginning in the hospital because her son was losing weight. I'm afraid as a FTM I won't be able to say no if that happens to me.

    I'm hoping for the best but am glad I've read everyone's experiences because it makes me not feel so guilty if for some reason it doesn't end up working out.
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  • DunkinDecafDunkinDecaf member
    edited May 2016
    I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that breastfeeding is easy this time around. If it is doable I'm going to try to EBF for 6-9 months. I never exclusively breast fed last time so I'm kinda nervous about it. I think last time my loathing of pumping really ruined it for me, so I'm going to try not to pump at all at least for the first few months. Anything I can do to lose the baby weight while I'm sitting on the couch, man.

    eta: there's also an excellent chance that I'll get two weeks into that plan and then say f*ck it. Formula feeding worked well for us last time, but it was so. flippin. expensive.
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  • This board is awesome. I love that everyone here (so far!) seems to be supportive of the idea that feeding your baby is what's most important no matter how it happens. I plan on EBF for the first year if I can. I'm a very patient and stubborn person so I think it will take a lot before I give up, but it's been so nice to read that if I'm not happy with it, it's okay to stop. 

    Here's a question for all of you BF STMs... How do I handle traveling for work and BF? Sometimes I'm away for 4-5 days at a time. I'm lucky in that I can kind of make my own schedule when I'm traveling and be sure to schedule myself time to pump between meetings. I assume that I just build up a refridgerated/frozen stash before I go, pump while I'm traveling and then transport all of that milk back with me. Does that sound right? It seems like a lot of work when I think about it. I would love any tips or tricks!
    Sounds like you have it right! If you fly, there are certain types of ice packs that the TSA will allow on planes and they do allow Moms to travel with expressed milk. Just make sure your hotel has a fridge!



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  • Breastfeeding was awesome for me and ds. It was literally the only thing that would calm him down when he was little. Some things to consider: if you are having trouble breastfeeding and your lactation consultant doesn't check for a tongue and/or lip tie then they suck and find someone else. If breastfeeding is painful beyond 2 weeks, get their latch checked out because it should've gotten better by then. sometimes formula feeding is truly better for moms+baby, but a lot of my friends who have had to switch to formula have tremendous guilt associated with that. I know people say there's a lot of support for breastfeeding moms, but I actually don't think there is. The lactation consultant at my hospital was crap, my friends lactation consultant didn't check her baby for a lip tie and then wondered why she wasn't getting enough milk. Yes, people may be happy your breastfeeding because blah blah blah liquid gold blah blah, but then you have pediatricians who ARE NOT trained in breastfeeding telling you to supplement with formula when your body is learning how much milk it needs to make. This then gives you a low supply.  If you are interested in breastfeeding then definitely go to a breastfeeding class, because you never know what kind of support with come afterwards. I researched everything I could before DS and sometimes it sucked, but I loved our 15 mo journey :) 

    Once were closer to birthing I have a crap ton of resources I can post from an amazing FB group I'm in. 
    DS  12-1-2014
    DD 10-29-2016
    #3 due 10-13-2018
  • shevaCCshevaCC member
    @whitneyf1, I hope you don't end up in a situation where you feel that the hospital is fighting against your wishes (not just limited to feeding). But...even if they do give a tiny bottle of forumla, it's not the end of the world and doesn't necessarily mean anything for your future breastfeeding relationship. It doesn't have to be all or nothing -- you can go on to breastfeed for a year+ even after that first bottle.

    One thing you can do to help yourself is to read up on what's normal for a breastfed baby as far as weight loss at first. I would also ask the nurses why they think baby needs that bottle and listen to what they say. If it's just that baby "seems hungry", that's one thing, but there could be a very real need to address something they're concerned about. I hesitate to advocate for going against medical advice since there are times when formula might be needed (like jaundice, I believe). Those medical professionals generally have your baby's best interest in mind.

    Also, some women choose to give a bottle of formula occasionally for a number of reasons while still breastfeeding. And that's ok too.
  • I BFed both my boys until about 14 months. We used formula when I traveled for work, because I can't stand pumping.

    We bought organic formula because I have hang ups about non-organic substances for tiny bodies. Man, formula is expensive! For FF moms, do you know/remember how much you were/are spending on formula each month? Genuinely curious, not knocking FF.
    DX PCOS Jan 2012
    IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
    Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
    Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
  • @muybueno At her hungriest point DD could kill one of those jumbo things of similac from Costco in 4 days. Each package of similac was $33. It was really really expensive.
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  • @muybueno At her hungriest point DD could kill one of those jumbo things of similac from Costco in 4 days. Each package of similac was $33. It was really really expensive.
    So somewhere in the ballpark of $250/month? And more if you hadn't bought in bulk at a discount store. Shizah.
    DX PCOS Jan 2012
    IUI #1 Feb 2012= DS1 born 11/2012
    Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle)=DS2 born 9/2014
    Unmedicated BFP (first post-weaning cycle again)= EDD 11/2016
  • mrs_hoyahoomrs_hoyahoo member
    edited May 2016
    @jrussell16 Yep, that's about it! It requires planning ahead, but I know women do it. I think the hardest part is transporting it home - just keeping it cold enough! While you're at a hotel, it usually isn't a problem to get your own fridge or gain access to the hotel freezer. Especially if you use the phrase "medical liquids."

    Do you fly? A pump is considered a medical device and not a carry on, and TSA rules are actually pretty accommodating - no limit on the amount you can carry on. You'll just need a good cooler (this will count as a carry on) and lots and lots of ice/ice packs. Dry ice is even allowed if you package/label it correctly when you have a particularly long day of travel. 







    Kid #1: Two years old
    Kid #2: Due Date 11/16/16
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  • Des321Des321 member
    My son didn't latch from day one and I felt so discouraged because I planned on ebf as long as possible. After a full night in the hospital of screaming and crying, the nurses told me he was hungry since he wasn't getting anything from me. So I had no choice but to give him formula until I got my pump. Once my milk came in I realized I could exclusively pump and provide milk that way. Yes it was a pain but I had a good supply that I didn't want to waste, not to mention he enjoyed it much more than formula. Once my supply dropped significantly after 10 months, I gave up the pumping and went to formula. You just have to do what you have to do, there's absolutely nothing wrong with FF. Heck, I was FF from day one and I turned out just fine. 
  • shevaCC said:
    @whitneyf1, I hope you don't end up in a situation where you feel that the hospital is fighting against your wishes (not just limited to feeding). But...even if they do give a tiny bottle of forumla, it's not the end of the world and doesn't necessarily mean anything for your future breastfeeding relationship. It doesn't have to be all or nothing -- you can go on to breastfeed for a year+ even after that first bottle.

    One thing you can do to help yourself is to read up on what's normal for a breastfed baby as far as weight loss at first. I would also ask the nurses why they think baby needs that bottle and listen to what they say. If it's just that baby "seems hungry", that's one thing, but there could be a very real need to address something they're concerned about. I hesitate to advocate for going against medical advice since there are times when formula might be needed (like jaundice, I believe). Those medical professionals generally have your baby's best interest in mind.

    Also, some women choose to give a bottle of formula occasionally for a number of reasons while still breastfeeding. And that's ok too.

    And actually, more recent data shows that early supplementation can actually lead to an increase in breastfeeding duration, especially in the case of slow growers, anxious moms, or medical issues.

    Per this study, if there's a concern about "nipple confusion" a syringe or cup can be used too:

    https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/05/08/peds.2012-2809




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  • muybueno said:
    @muybueno At her hungriest point DD could kill one of those jumbo things of similac from Costco in 4 days. Each package of similac was $33. It was really really expensive.
    So somewhere in the ballpark of $250/month? And more if you hadn't bought in bulk at a discount store. Shizah.
    Yeah I'd say on average about $300 because I couldn't always get over to Costco. It's pretty far away. It wasn't always that bad though. At first those big things of formula lasted over a week, so it was closer to $100 a month. Still, it was way more expensive than breastfeeding. Way WAY more if you count the $$ I spent on wine once I stopped ;)
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  • Des321 said:
    My son didn't latch from day one and I felt so discouraged because I planned on ebf as long as possible. After a full night in the hospital of screaming and crying, the nurses told me he was hungry since he wasn't getting anything from me. So I had no choice but to give him formula until I got my pump. Once my milk came in I realized I could exclusively pump and provide milk that way. Yes it was a pain but I had a good supply that I didn't want to waste, not to mention he enjoyed it much more than formula. Once my supply dropped significantly after 10 months, I gave up the pumping and went to formula. You just have to do what you have to do, there's absolutely nothing wrong with FF. Heck, I was FF from day one and I turned out just fine. 
    EPing is hard work. Congrats on making it 10 months!



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  • I'm glad someone mentioned the nursery in the hospital giving a bottle. This happened with my second and I always *wondered* if that effected our breastfeeding. While I was in recovery from my c-section (that hour or so you're not allowed to see your baby) they gave her a bottle because they said she was hungry. So from our first feeding on, she tore me up! waaaaay worse than my first daughter did. 

    In general, I just love feeding my children. I don't care where their nutrition comes from, so long as they're fed. That look in their eyes as they're getting a full belly. Playing with their hands. And as they get older they stop eating and coo and sing to you. 
  • muybueno said:
    @muybueno At her hungriest point DD could kill one of those jumbo things of similac from Costco in 4 days. Each package of similac was $33. It was really really expensive.
    So somewhere in the ballpark of $250/month? And more if you hadn't bought in bulk at a discount store. Shizah.
    When my BIL said something along these lines, I told him I would be a bad doggy mom and switch my 3 lab-mixes (almost 200 lbs of dog) off of Eukanuba to Kibbles & Bits if needed. ;)  
  • sweetlyuntiedsweetlyuntied member
    edited May 2016
    @Little+Tiny I agree with you and am also very thankful for these posts. Like I said before, I never had any intention of BFing, but wanted to at least understand the benefits/drawbacks to that choice. In the end, everything I learned further solidified my decision to not BF. This community is very supportive of all of us regardless of where the milk comes from and that is truly awesome. Huge thanks to everyone! Some of you may not realize that how special it is to know that I'm supported regardless of how I feed the baby. 

    My husband knew from very early in our dating that I wasn't going to do it and he said he would always support me. Last year, as we got close to "Go Year!" while he didn't backtrack on his word, he started questioning me a lot more. I started researching the crap out of the topic because I wanted to show him up (yeah, we're competitive like that), but then I also decided that I wanted him to be fully on-board that FF wasn't just because "it's her body". I wanted it to be his choice too. 

    I won't say there aren't any benefits to BF (because that's just crazy talk to say that), but what I decided was that none of the research out there convinced me that it was worth it for my lifestyle. Just like my mother did with her children, my children will never hold their own bottle. If they are taking a bottle, they will always be held and being fed by someone (be it me, my husband, other family or friends). To me, that is the exact same as the baby being held while nursing. And just like other mothers I will be working to providing food/nourishment for my child.

    I also was unimpressed with studies claiming BF babes have certain advantages especially when reviewing the populations comparatively .Eg: BF babes have been linked to having higher IQs in later childhood. But higher IQs are also linked to having a higher socioeconomic status, which coincidentally is the same population that is more frequently BFs. Basically, how can you say it's because you BF and not from anything else? If you want some interesting reading, read the studies where they compare children from the same household who were fed differently. Absolute fascinating literature that pretty much comes to the conclusion that BF and FF has no statistical difference.  

    My husband's favorite stat to quote (and I will try to re-find the paper were it was published) is that BF children have less incidents of digestive issues. But when you calculate the math out, it turns out what that means that out of 1,000 children, 1 BF child will have 1 less incident of diarrhea than FF children.  

    The overarching point of everything I learned is is that breast may be best, but best isn't much better. And for my husband and I, what's best is what works for us and the benefits we see with formula far outweigh the slight edge BF has over FF. 

    All my research also made it easier for my to support my SIL in her attempts to do so and then support her when she made the choice to stop (also gave me the tools to knock some sense into my BIL as he opposed her stopping). I wish she had a better experience with it because she admitted to me that she wasn't happy in her first few months as a new mom because of her struggles at BF. I know how much she wanted it, but they are both happy and healthy and content and that's what matter most.  


     I think the way that I like to describe it is that formula is a perfectly nutritious, well-balanced meal.  Breastmilk is a perfectly nutritious, well-balanced meal, that is custom made with your baby's unique nutritional and immunological needs in mind. Most of the "long term"  benefits to baby  are under a significant number of other pressures, and as @KilgraveMadeMeDoIt  mentioned in the "dumb questions"  post,  many of those are balanced out by the fact that we live in the technologically advanced society. 

     I would still argue that breastmilk is superior,  and would still encourage moms to consider trying breast-feeding, but it is just one of many many many decisions that we are going to have to make, and ultimately is not the end-all and be-all of anything.



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  • @shevacc thank you for that! I totally understand that there are medical reasons why you would supplement and would support that if necessary. I'm more afraid I won't be able to speak up for myself. For my wedding my bridesmaids came up with a code word in case I didn't like my hair or make up because they knew I wouldnt say anything to the stylist. I tend to be passive and then get upset with myself later for not speaking up and I feel like I can see that happening in that situation. 
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  • I wanted to nurse DD so bad, but it just wasn't in the cards. She didn't want to latch, and I had low supply (apparently not uncommon with PCOS). I wish someone would have told me in advance how devastating it can be when that relationship doesn't work the way you planned! After countless lactation consultants, I made the decision to formula feed from 2 weeks on.

    I'm a little torn this time...I was planning on FF, but I may try and supplement this time since I'll be having 2 (much more likely to come early) and would love to be able to pass on some of my immunity if at all possible. That being said, if it doesn't work I will not beat myself up this time! A fed baby is a happy baby!
    Married since Jan 2013
    Sweet DD born at 41 weeks Feb 2015
    *Diagnosed with lean PCOS*
    TWINS due 11/22/2016



  • My mom is a lactation consultant and I have had a lot of conversations with her about this. Personally I plan to EBF as long as I can. That could be a few months, it could be over a year. She prefers that all moms try it (unless there is a medical reason they can't) but realizes that every woman is different and there is not a set amount of time for everyone. I think there are a lot of benefits to BF (it's free, for starters) but if another mom decides that's not for her, I am not here to judge. Feeding your baby, however you do it, is the most important thing.
  • DD was in the NICU for 10 days after birth, following her surgery. She wasn't allowed to swallow for the first 7 days because they wanted her connection site to heal and were worried about leaks (esophagus was surgically connected to her stomach)... I pumped every 2hrs those first 7 days so she only had breast milk through her feeding tube... We needed to use a nipple shield for about a week once she was able to nurse, because she had forgotten how to latch. I slowly weaned her off the shield and she ended up rejecting bottles too! We EBF for 2.5 years (just weaning now!) And introduced solids at 6 months through baby led weaning. I hope to follow the same methods this time, but hopefully he will take a bottle!

    MMC 01/26/12 

    MC 12/25/12, D&C 01/05/13

    BFP 03/05/13, EDD 11/12/13. HB 175 @ 9w2d. Its a Girl!

    <3Madeline Lorraine H. <3 Born 11/12/13 @9:10pm, 7lb6oz

    DX with EA/TEF Type C & Tracheomalaysia
    MC @ 13wks 01/15/15 

    DX Septate Uterus - surgery recommended

    BFP 3/18/16, EDD 11/13/16 It's a boy!
    <3 Clint Kiszonas H. <3 Born 11/21/16 @10:38pm, 9lb11oz

    BFP 1/11/18, EDD 9/21/18 
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