Stupid Questions Sunday!!! 5.1

slartybartfast · May 2016

not sure if this ended up getting assigned but in any case,

no question is too stupid, too weird, too googlable - ask away!

dmontgo · May 2016

I don't know if this is really dumb, but how do you deal with people that try to make you worry about how baby is doing or birth things?

I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow, and I experienced some morning sickness yesterday for the first time, although I feel great today and generally have been. I was talking to a friend who is on her second pregnancy (She has also experienced a miscarriage) and when I told her about my sickness she immediately was like, "Well I am so glad you are sick because I was starting to think you would miscarry since sickness starts at 6 weeks and you haven't been sick at all and when I was miscarry I stopped having sickness at 7 weeks blah blah blah."

I'm not trying to minimize her experience because I can't imagine that pain of loss, but I was uncomfortable how quickly she assumed things are wrong with my baby because I'm not sick. I haven't been worrying but then things like that make me freak out a little.

She asked about my potential birth plan and when I mentioned home birth it became a list of all the things that can go wrong and I just had to stop the conversation. I know I shouldn't talk to her about baby stuff if she's worrying me, but is there any advice you lovely ladies have on keeping the fear to a minimum?

Thank you!

princesslockness · May 2016

@dmontgo I have 2 things for you. Thing 1: I was never sick, never tired, nothing during my first pregnancy. I now have a wonderful 9 month old little boy. Symptoms come and go, and they can mean everything or nothing. Thing 2: research. Home births aren't for everyone, but are for some. If you have researched from reputable sources, and still want to do a home birth, then there should be nothing she can say that will change your mind. If she is scaring you then you should probably research more.

MRSCORKER · May 2016

**Lurking from Oct 16**
@dmontgo Just because she experienced a lack of nausea with her loss does not mean every pregnancy with no nausea is doomed. That's just ridiculous of her to say and even more ridiculous of her to project on to you. I had no nausea and no vomiting at all and I'm now 15 weeks and have had 3 perfect ultrasounds and everything is going well. My mom was horribly sick with me but had zero sickness with my sister. Every pregnancy and every woman is different. Next time she tries to doom and gloom you with nonsense, I would be sure to point that out and let her know that even though she thinks she's being helpful, she's not and having been in your shoes, she should know better. Sorry you had to deal with that. Sorry to intrude on your BMB but that stuff really makes me mad!

dmontgo · May 2016

@Kate08Young Thank you for your reassurance! I recognize that her experiences color the lens through which she sees my pregnancy, but it just bothered me that she became so worse case scenario. I feel great and I don't want to apologize for that! Doctor isn't worried so I haven't been either.

As for the home birth, I am still very much leaning towards a home birth but definitely need to keep doing research before I make a decision. My friend has a high-risk pregnancy so I think she just assumes the worst for everybody I guess. I won't make a decision until next trimester for sure.

Thank you again!

dmontgo · May 2016

@MRSCORKER Thank you so much for your input!! As my husband likes to say, "Every body is different." I'm thankful I haven't been sick, but sometimes people in real life tell me I should be praying to be sick and such. I just think it's counterproductive and creates guilt where there shouldn't be any. So happy you have had a sick-free pregnancy and everything is going well for you! Gives me more confidence. Thank you again!

elizabethp529 · May 2016

Anybody finding that they bruise more easily? I usually don't but I'm covered in them lately and haven't injured myself to my knowledge (but as clumsy as I am, who knows!).

uromys · May 2016

@dmontgo symptoms mean nothing when it comes to healthy pregnancies. With both my girls I felt wonderful. Never a bout of nausea. No food adverssions. Just occasionally some exhaustion which was gone by 10-12 weeks. With my miscarriage I actually felt awful. Nausea, exhaustion, adverssions left and right. To this day I've always had a gut feeling that was my boy. Every body reacts different to every pregnancy. All we can do it sit back and enjoy the ride. I absolutely loved being pregnant. Embrase it!

OliveP27 · May 2016

dmontgo said:

I don't know if this is really dumb, but how do you deal with people that try to make you worry about how baby is doing or birth things?

I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow, and I experienced some morning sickness yesterday for the first time, although I feel great today and generally have been. I was talking to a friend who is on her second pregnancy (She has also experienced a miscarriage) and when I told her about my sickness she immediately was like, "Well I am so glad you are sick because I was starting to think you would miscarry since sickness starts at 6 weeks and you haven't been sick at all and when I was miscarry I stopped having sickness at 7 weeks blah blah blah."

I'm not trying to minimize her experience because I can't imagine that pain of loss, but I was uncomfortable how quickly she assumed things are wrong with my baby because I'm not sick. I haven't been worrying but then things like that make me freak out a little.

She asked about my potential birth plan and when I mentioned home birth it became a list of all the things that can go wrong and I just had to stop the conversation. I know I shouldn't talk to her about baby stuff if she's worrying me, but is there any advice you lovely ladies have on keeping the fear to a minimum?

Thank you!

Whoa. That friend needs to go. Yikes.

JulieSmiles · May 2016

Is anyone else feeling like their body is way more sensitive? DD has been jumping and climbing on me like crazy and everything hurts so bad!

LinziLoo09 · May 2016

@dmontgo - PPs have tackled your questions pretty thoroughly, and I don't think I have much to add. But I wanted to chime in to say that this is basically THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. With pregnancy and parenting, everyone has an opinion, and yours is inevitably wrong! I'm sure there are better ways of handling things, but I got to the point that when anyone asked about my birth plan, I responded, "whatever the hell I have to do to get this thing out of me." And there wasn't much they could really add to that. Similarly, with my parenting style, it's. "whatever I have to do to keep this thing alive." I find that setting a super low bar ensures that I succeed whether in the judgment of friends or personally.

Last night at the wedding, someone asked me if I had been setting aside at least an hour a day to work on "skills" with DD. I had DD give the girl a fist bump, and I said that's the skill we had been working on. It's all about priorities, really.

Moral of the story - people suck when it comes to parenting and pregnancy. Figure out how to make them feel uncomfortable before they do it to you.

dmontgo · May 2016

You ladies are so awesome. Thank you for the great advice and reassurance; it really does make a difference for me.

@linziloo09 You always have the best responses. First lightning crotch, now this. Haha thank you

LinziLoo09 · May 2016

Always @dmontgo ! I'm always here for any unsolicited snarky mom advice

RatsPJ · May 2016

LinziLoo09 said:

@dmontgo - PPs have tackled your questions pretty thoroughly, and I don't think I have much to add. But I wanted to chime in to say that this is basically THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. With pregnancy and parenting, everyone has an opinion, and yours is inevitably wrong! I'm sure there are better ways of handling things, but I got to the point that when anyone asked about my birth plan, I responded, "whatever the hell I have to do to get this thing out of me." And there wasn't much they could really add to that. Similarly, with my parenting style, it's. "whatever I have to do to keep this thing alive." I find that setting a super low bar ensures that I succeed whether in the judgment of friends or personally.

Last night at the wedding, someone asked me if I had been setting aside at least an hour a day to work on "skills" with DD. I had DD give the girl a fist bump, and I said that's the skill we had been working on. It's all about priorities, really.

Moral of the story - people suck when it comes to parenting and pregnancy. Figure out how to make them feel uncomfortable before they do it to you.

You are my hero. I can't wait to use these lines!

R0824H · May 2016

Anyone having trouble sleeping on their side?? I find when I sleep on my side I get a pain in my rib cage that essentially ends up hurting to breathe until I stand up for a while. I have no problem with it sleeping on my back (but ya know..we're not supposed to). I've tried different pillows, a body pillow, pillow between my legs but cant get one full night sleep

I'll bring up the pain to my GP on Tuesday but just wondered if anyone else found ways to get comfortable sleeping?

beff12 · May 2016

@JulieSmiles yes to the sensitivity! DD spends her waking moments climbing on me and I get pretty touched out on a good day, but it's even more uncomfortable now. She digs her tiny toes in to my legs and around then is when I hand her off to DH.

slartybartfast · May 2016

@R0824H - I don't have the pain but the way I understand it, the sleeping on your back thing is about weight on a blood vessel that can cause loss of circulation. It's usually not an issue til later and some women have no problem with it. You'll know if you do - I got lightheaded and felt like I'd pass out. So until/unless you feel bad sleeping on your back, at least my midwives say - no problem

@elizabethp529 - you do have more blood pumping through your system, maybe that could make you bruise more?

@JulieSmiles - all my skin feels more sensitive too - not sure why?

and as far as unwanted opinions and bad vibes from moms with baggage, buckle up. We're in for a long ride. This happens with EVERYTHING. I'm ruthless. If someone is really dumping on me, immediately change the subject and then avoid them from here on out. I just refuse to participate in conversations like that. To a much lesser degree, parents with kids DS's age always want to discuss development - like oh my baby's not even walking yet or whatever. I just say "kids develop different skills over such a wide range of time" and move on. Maybe some moms talk about that stuff harmlessly but I just find none of those conversations feel quite right to me

doodleoodle · May 2016

R0824H said:

Anyone having trouble sleeping on their side?? I find when I sleep on my side I get a pain in my rib cage that essentially ends up hurting to breathe until I stand up for a while. I have no problem with it sleeping on my back (but ya know..we're not supposed to). I've tried different pillows, a body pillow, pillow between my legs but cant get one full night sleep I'll bring up the pain to my GP on Tuesday but just wondered if anyone else found ways to get comfortable sleeping?

Buy a Snoogle! It's amazing!!

cayaylonglegs · May 2016

Breathing! Why is it so hard?! Baby is the size of a ballsac so I know she's not taking up enough room to mess with my lungs.. so why am I always winded? I'm averaged size and have never had this issue before.

slartybartfast · May 2016

I second that @doodleoodle !! My snoogle barely made it off the bed in time to get pulled back on it for this go-round. Another plus? It guards my bed space from DH and the pup!

doodleoodle · May 2016

cayaylonglegs said:

Breathing! Why is it so hard?! Baby is the size of a ballsac so I know she's not taking up enough room to mess with my lungs.. so why am I always winded? I'm averaged size and have never had this issue before.

Girl, me too. I think it has to do with our increased heart rate, but I'm not sure.

babblingbrookey · May 2016

So maybe this is a stupid question, but I am having a 6 week sonogram tomorrow with my RE. I read that it will be transvaginal and my husband is concerned that sticking something up there doesn't seem safe. Please ease my fears if this is completely normal and he is just overreacting.

beff12 · May 2016

@babblingbrookey it's totally safe! Just like sex is safe. Your baby is super protected in there and it's totally normal. Awkward, but normal.

princesslockness · May 2016

@babblingbrookey it is safe. Your cervix is closed, LO is wrapped up tight in its sac and fluid. The reason early ultrasounds are transvaginal is that baby is soo small that it is difficult (almost impossible) to see through all the layers of your stomach.

penelope4612 · May 2016

@cayaylonglegs - yeah that happened to me yesterday. It was weird. I felt really awful. Also, random dizzy spells.

babblingbrookey · May 2016

Thank you both for your quick replies! At this point I am extremely used to the vaginal sonograms, but it was always to count eggs before. Will be nice to see the little one for the first time since he/she was a blastocyst

jandd2014 · May 2016

@elizabethp529 Yes! I feel like I'm bruising more easily too. I keep finding them but am not sure how I got them!

R0824H · May 2016

Thanks @slartybartfast and @doodleoodle!! I'll look into a snoogle ASAP!

also I agree with the breathing thing, my "deep breathes" are half of what they used to be!

Sugargirl1019 · May 2016

Me too on the not being able to breathe! I had ACLS recertification and she was like, "okay you will do a full 2 minutes of compressions to remember what that feels like", and I was like AH! I'm out of breath just walking in here! Of course they don't know I'm pregnant, so I'm just really out of shape and whiney to them.

**I posted this on another board, but I will ask here too as there are different people with some knowledge? What issues does having a tilted uterus have on ultrasounds and dating baby? Could baby possibly date smaller than it actually is?

DiFazette · May 2016

@Sugargirl1019 - I have a tilted uterus and they have a hard time getting clear images in early pregnancy. I measured 6 +1 with one and measured 7+2 and 7+3 with twins 7 days later. I do think it impacts what they can see/measure. When is your next appointment?

Sugargirl1019 · May 2016

DiFazette said:

@Sugargirl1019 - I have a tilted uterus and they have a hard time getting clear images in early pregnancy. I measured 6 +1 with one and measured 7+2 and 7+3 with twins 7 days later. I do think it impacts what they can see/measure. When is your next appointment?

Thursday - so I should be 7+2 then. Thanks.

dmontgo · May 2016

This is a weird question, but is anyone feeling uncomfortable in their underwear, like it's too small already? I don't think I've gained much weight aside from boobs and bloat, but it seems weird to me that my underwear feels kind of tight already, specifically in the crotch region.

princesslockness · May 2016

@dmontgo Its most likely because of your tendons loosening. Just like causing the RLP, that loosening can cause all sorts of weird things. Like my feet are now a half size wider than they were, without being swollen or anything else.

dmontgo · May 2016

@Kate08Young I didn't even think about that. Thank you! Do you recommend just going up a size in regular undies or using maternity undies?

princesslockness · May 2016

@dmontgo I just went up a size or 2 and was fine. Although for PP you will want the 'widest crotched' undies you can find. Those PP pads from the hospital are HUGE!!

doodleoodle · May 2016

@dmontgo maternity underwear are amazing and definitely worth the money.

dmontgo · May 2016

@doodleoodle Which brand do you recommend?

doodleoodle · May 2016

@dmogmo I got the Jessica Simpson from Motherhood Maternity. I think I also got just the regular Motherhood Maternity ones as well. They were both really comfy and come in cute styles. They even had thongs, just in case you want to be even more uncomfortable than you already are lol

ETA I would get a size larger than you typically wear if you're buying them this early. My butt pretty much doubled in size by the end of my pregnancy last time.

dmontgo · May 2016

@doodleoodle I seriously love Motherhood Maternity. Undies can be kind of hit or miss, so I'm glad to hear they have comfy ones. I saw some "pregnancy lingerie" and all I can say is more power to those mamas, but I just feel too lazy lol.

doodleoodle · May 2016

@dmogmo lol! Right! I had one piece of lingerie, which was just a long silky nighty that I used to cover myself up because I was just not feeling myself.

Motherhood is seriously the best. Their nursing bras are amazing and have enough slack to grow with you during pregnancy. Their pants are also great. A little pricy but it's nice to still be able to wear skinny jeans or dress pants and feel like a human. I would try to not splurge too much on maternity shirts though. I would just buy tunics or something so that you can wear them afterwards too.

LinziLoo09 · May 2016

I second that @doodleoodle . I bought a lot of flowy shirts and stretch pants that I still get a lot of use out of (I'm cheap). I also went to target and bought a bunch of $5 tank tops that I didn't mind stretching out. Funny thing about a cheap tank is that they actually all shrank back up, so I can still wear those now too.

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