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June 2016 Moms
MynaBird
member
Surprise! It's... not a girl after all **One more update with diagnosis**
MynaBird
member
So, about 14 weeks ago I posted on a FFFC thread about how my husband and I decided in the moment at our anatomy scan to find out our baby's sex, even though we had been planning on being Team Green again, and how we were both crazy excited when we were told we would be having a second girl. The tech had a hard time getting a good look, but by the time she was done she told us she was certain enough to say it was a girl.
This morning we went in for a follow-up US to look at my placenta (which was sitting low before but looks great now) and a couple of other things, and I mentioned to the tech (not the same one) that we'd had a hard time getting a good look at the AS, and could she just maybe double-check?
Well, guess what. Little sister is actually a little brother.
I'm ashamed to admit I was initially devastated. We had spent all this time thinking about another little girl, how fun it would be for our daughter to have a sister, what it would be like to have an all-girl house. And then I cried more at how guilty I felt for feeling that way, because we are expecting a healthy baby, and I know people who haven't been able to get pregnant at all, or who have children who have been born with serious medical problems, and it is incredibly selfish of me to be upset that I'm having a different kind of healthy baby than we were anticipating. It seems silly to mourn the loss of the family we thought we were going to have when so many other people have gotten actual bad news at ultrasounds... still, we are both reeling from the news. Obviously this doesn't change how excited we are about the baby or how much we will love him -- it's just been a shock!
Anyone else been surprised by a change in sex in the third trimester? Or have some perspective to share about how awesome it is to have a little boy?
This morning we went in for a follow-up US to look at my placenta (which was sitting low before but looks great now) and a couple of other things, and I mentioned to the tech (not the same one) that we'd had a hard time getting a good look at the AS, and could she just maybe double-check?
Well, guess what. Little sister is actually a little brother.
I'm ashamed to admit I was initially devastated. We had spent all this time thinking about another little girl, how fun it would be for our daughter to have a sister, what it would be like to have an all-girl house. And then I cried more at how guilty I felt for feeling that way, because we are expecting a healthy baby, and I know people who haven't been able to get pregnant at all, or who have children who have been born with serious medical problems, and it is incredibly selfish of me to be upset that I'm having a different kind of healthy baby than we were anticipating. It seems silly to mourn the loss of the family we thought we were going to have when so many other people have gotten actual bad news at ultrasounds... still, we are both reeling from the news. Obviously this doesn't change how excited we are about the baby or how much we will love him -- it's just been a shock!
Anyone else been surprised by a change in sex in the third trimester? Or have some perspective to share about how awesome it is to have a little boy?
Re: Surprise! It's... not a girl after all **One more update with diagnosis**
Lurking from May...this happened to someone on our board recently. I'd tag her but I'm 39w5d and my prego brain is basically swiss cheese so I can't remember who it was at the moment. I'll see if I can dig up that thread.
edit to tag @dsmith211
And it is normal to be shocked and it is okay to have had initial disappointment but you have the right attitude that it doesn't matter as long as you have a healthy baby.
For the record, I am a girl mom and would have initially been thrilled if we were having another girl because I was picturing our family being complete and them being best of friends. But then when I got my head around (and got over the "what the hell do I do with a boy") it, I can't wait now.
Good luck to you.
People always say boys love their moms.
You already have have a girl so this might not apply but I hate pink and the fact I have a boy means most people won't by tons of pink stuff that they definitely would if he were a girl.
Mrs. H
Crohn's Dx: August 2008
Endometriosis Dx: May 2010
Married: 05/19/2012
TTC #1: June 2013
BFP: December 2013
DS: Born 08/29/2014
TTC #2: July 2015
BFP #2: September 25, 2015
im sure you must still be feeling shocked (I know I would be) but get excited! My little boy is my favorite person to hang out with- he's pretty chill as far as three year olds go.
(also so happy to hear about your placenta!!)
Do not feel guilty for one second about the way you reacted. It's hard to see things a way and be certain of it only to have them changed on you.
This happened to a friend of mine. She went to an ultrasound around 36 weeks and the guy told her that he wouldn't be able to get a good look at the baby since it was running out of room. She said, that's OK. We already know she is a girl. He proceeds with the scan and a few min later says "you say it's a girl?". She says "yup, that's what we were told" he turned the screen to her and said "those are balls". She now has a 2.5 year old little firecracker of a son. She was shocked and had a very similar reaction to you . Even worse her daughter who was 6 at the time was so very sadifferent about it.
Having a boy is like nothing in the world. My oldest is a girl and our son is 22 months younger than her. They are the best of friends and she loves to "take care of him". He is so happy and full of life. I wouldn't change my boy (soon to be boys) for the world.
Before we could find out, I was positive we were having boy. I felt it in my bones. I could only think of boy names and boy things, and something told me we were having a son. Obviously this knowledge was based on zero actual facts, and our next ultrasound and our daughter's vagina begged to differ. I felt so silly. Every ultrasound since I've always asked them to check and make sure. Enjoy your little boy! :-)
Good to hear your placenta is now in good shape!
Whatever you are feeling is normal. And will take adjustment time. Good that the pregnancy is going well!
Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.
DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!
Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!
This happened to a friend of mine, but at delivery. She had three ultrasounds with three different techs and was told that it was a girl, only to deliver a healthy boy. For the children she had after that pregnancy, she chose to be Team Green, so she wouldn't have to deal with a guess on the sex....especially after getting attached to a girl, who ended up being a boy. She was fine with a boy, but it was kind of like she had to mourn the loss of the girl that she was expecting, and had pictured as part of the family/future/etc.
I am kind of in this same boat, as we wanted to be Team Green but I saw right between the legs (and saw three lines) and my husband heard the tech say "her" and try and change it to "here". So we are both almost positive that it is a girl. First we had to kind of wrap the idea of two girls in our heads....and that we wouldn't get to experience raising a boy in the family (we are done after two kids, and already have a DD). But we both knew that DD was dying to have a little sister, and by the time we left the ultrasound appointment, we were already thinking of the positives of another girl. I am guilty of buying a few matching outfits for DD and the baby already, and buying a few girl specific items that I would have never bought until baby was born. Luckily, if baby comes out a boy, we do have two cousins having girls about a month after our baby is due, so those items can be passed on. And, we didn't tell DD that we think that it is a girl, just in case. But I know that if the baby comes out a boy, it will be hard to wrap my head around, and I will have to "mourn" the loss of the future that I have been picturing for the past 9 weeks (will be 20 weeks of picturing it before baby arrives), and start picturing my family/future in another way. The good part, would be that it was much easier to pick a boy name than a girl name, so at least we would know what his name would be right away.
Unfortunately, the other issue they were checking on in the follow-up u/s has not resolved. Baby still has bilateral dilation of the urinary tract, and I have low amniotic fluid, and the combination of those things is not good. So we are headed to the perinatologist next week.
Sending prayers mama, keep us updated on sweet baby boy.