Second Miscarriage in Four Months

poteetpartyof3 · April 2016

Hello Everyone,
I'm a lurker who responds to posts occasionally. After reading everyone's posts about loss after loss and having to be on IVF treatments it feels as is my story is not as painful as most but I'm really struggling right now.
I just had my second miscarriage in four months this past Friday. This actually my third miscarriage as I had one in college four or so years ago. When I was pregnant with my son they told me to brace myself for a miscarriage. My hcg levels hardly registered on a home pregnancy test and remained really low the first few months of my pregnancy. Thankfully, I carried him to 36 weeks and he is an amazing baby.
In January I miscarried at five weeks and this past Friday I miscarried at six weeks. This time it has been incredibly painful and is taking a strong emotional toll. I just can't stop thinking something is wrong with me for having two miscarriages occur in such a short time period. My husband is acting as if nothing happened and my friends are trying to be supportive but don't know what to do. It doesn't help that one of my best friends is now seven weeks pregnant. I just want to curl up and hide.

SnobunnieMel · April 2016

I am so sorry you have to find yourself with us. Everyone here is incredibly supportive

fivetimesnoluck · April 2016

I am so sorry for your losses, @poteetpartyof3. There is little anyone can do do console you, but I do hope that by participating here that you feel less alone. It can feel very isolating, but you are in good company of strangers here. Big love to you.

ceclarlinetlo · April 2016

I'm sorry to hear your story. Last year I had two miscarriages within 6 months while ttc #1 and in the time I lost two babies pretty much every single one of my friends gave birth your story resonates a lot with me. Big hugs to you.

ThePax89 · April 2016

I am so very sorry! Two miscarriages in a short time is earth shattering. (I had two 10 weeks apart, a few months ago). It is okay to distance yourself from your friend who is pregnant if you need to, totally okay. I have found it helpful to work on a way to honor my babies, and asking my husband to participate. Thinking of you.

Spartanrd4 · April 2016

So sorry to find you here, I hope you find the boards helpful in dealing with your losses. *hugs*

catiecatp · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses - hugs and love

cooaladolly · April 2016

Very sorry for your loss. I hope you find the group as comforting and full of good advice and support as I have.

mylittleversailles · April 2016

Hello, welcome, I'm very sorry to hear about your losses. Take care and hide if you need to.

BornReady · April 2016

So sorry you find yourself here.

silentP · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses. I have also had two losses in 4 months. It's awful. Take care of yourself and we are here when you need us.

LaurenDarling · April 2016

So sorry for your losses. I also had two quick back to back and it is so difficult.

RiverSong15 · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses. I also just had two MCs in less than four months. Recurrent loss always sucks, and piling so much grief up in a short period of time is a lot to handle. Hugs.

cjs260 · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your losses. You're in my thoughts today.

KristoKekerooni · April 2016

*lurk alert*
so so sorry, OP. I've had 3 in six months and I know how awful it it. My hubby was sorta the same way. I felt like he didn't even care. My friends all did the "oh, that's sad" thing for like a day and then forgot about it. It's hard when you don't have someTHING to mourn. Keep you chin up, get your doc to run at least some basic tests (blood typing, MTHFR...) the solution might be a simple one.

NamelessAria · April 2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like someone else said, I know there isn't really anything that anyone can say that will take away your pain. But I know after my first MC I just felt so incredibly alone. It is such an isolating experience. Just having somewhere I could go to talk about my feelings where people understood and were willing/able to offer some kind, supportive words helped. It was nice to not have people brush my feelings off and attempt to diminish my loss because I was "only a little over 6 weeks." So hopefully all of us here can at least offer you somewhere safe to talk through your grief where no one will try to belittle your loss or dismiss your pain. We all have been where you are and we all understand how incredibly heartbreaking and soul crushing it is.

As for the part about your husband: I get it. My husband doesn't see our losses the same way I do. He has even told me that he doesn't see an early loss as a loss. It just doesn't feel like a loss to him. And so it has been difficult for me because I feel like there is this expectation from my husband and my family and friends that I not see early losses as a loss and I just solider on. But I do see an early loss as a loss. It feels like a loss to me. I'm not sure why loss seems to affect men so differently. But I definitely understand what you're going through with your husband. I'm sorry that you feel alone in your grief. I know it isn't easy. Just know that you aren't alone. We're all here for you. We all understand.

This is such a terrible club to have to join but at least we can grieve and heal together.

dpjennifer · April 2016

Sorry for your losses. I hope you're able to get some comfort soon.

Wearehavinababy422 · April 2016

I lost 2 babies last year. One at 8 weeks and the other at 18. Devastating. I still mourn. And I have 8 people that are close to me that are pregnant right now and it sucks. My sister on law is having her gender reveal for her twins tonight and I don't even want to go. I know exactly how you feel. I don't want my babies to be forgotten.

On the point that something may be a wrong, get tested for celiac disease. It turns out I have it and it may have been linked to my miscarriages and infertility. I just was diagnosed about a month ago. Good luck to you!

KyCade3013 · April 2016

So sorry for your losses. Good place to vent here and losses are so hard to deal with. My advice as I saw others wrote is don't feel alone. I felt really alone and still do sometimes but try not to and know feeling upset is totally normal. I still haven't gotten over mine in December. Feel better and hugs!

poteetpartyof3 · April 2016

NamelessAria said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like someone else said, I know there isn't really anything that anyone can say that will take away your pain. But I know after my first MC I just felt so incredibly alone. It is such an isolating experience. Just having somewhere I could go to talk about my feelings where people understood and were willing/able to offer some kind, supportive words helped. It was nice to not have people brush my feelings off and attempt to diminish my loss because I was "only a little over 6 weeks." So hopefully all of us here can at least offer you somewhere safe to talk through your grief where no one will try to belittle your loss or dismiss your pain. We all have been where you are and we all understand how incredibly heartbreaking and soul crushing it is.

As for the part about your husband: I get it. My husband doesn't see our losses the same way I do. He has even told me that he doesn't see an early loss as a loss. It just doesn't feel like a loss to him. And so it has been difficult for me because I feel like there is this expectation from my husband and my family and friends that I not see early losses as a loss and I just solider on. But I do see an early loss as a loss. It feels like a loss to me. I'm not sure why loss seems to affect men so differently. But I definitely understand what you're going through with your husband. I'm sorry that you feel alone in your grief. I know it isn't easy. Just know that you aren't alone. We're all here for you. We all understand.

This is such a terrible club to have to join but at least we can grieve and heal together.

Thank you so much for your kind words. Your husband sounds just like mine. He's trying to comfort me but he does not feel like it is a loss. He just says we'll keep trying. I don't think he had time to love the baby like I did. As soon as I knew I was pregnant I loved that baby and started planning my life with it.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It is really nice to hear from people who understand what I'm going through.

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