Emotional support after? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Emotional support after?

This may be a stupid question. I realized that maybe seeking some sort of counseling after all this might be helpful. It's been about a ml th since my 2nd miscarriage and I'm still all over the place. Right now I don't even know if I want to try again.

For women that did seek a counselor how did you go about it? I don't have any appointments coming up, I was thinking of calling the nurses line. I just feel like A referral would be better than just a random search. I also wonder if part of my problem is my hormones still haven't regulated yet. 

This whole situation and process just sucks! I'm so sorry that all you women are also going through this! 

Re: Emotional support after?

  • I started looking for a counselor about 6 weeks after my loss.  I found someone on https://www.psychologytoday.com/ using the "find a therapist" search.  I filtered for therapists with areas of specialty in loss and infertility (there is also a pregnancy & postpartum filter, which might be helpful, but infertility is also an area where I wanted understanding) and got several names that way.  I emailed initially to see who had openings and then talked on the phone with the person I ended up going with before I made an appointment.  I have found our conversations to be helpful so far and have been glad I sought out counseling.  It's a lot to go through.  *hugs*
    About me:
    /loss mentioned/
    TTC#1 July 2014
    dx: MFI (morphology)
    IUI #1 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Sept. 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #2 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Halloween 2015 ~ BFN
    IUI #3 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Thanksgiving 2015 ~ BFP!!
    hb 146 bpm at 7w5d
    1/28/16 ~ began to say goodbye to our beautiful baby at 11w 
    d&c, followed by cytotec
    TTCAL April 2016
    IUI #4 w/Clomid + Ovidrel Apr. 2016 ~ BFN
    IUI #5 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ CP
    IUI#6 w/Clomid + Ovidrel ~ BFN
  • First of all, I am so sorry for your losses and I hope you can find someone to help you through this awful time.
    I haven't had counseling (yet) for this specific situation, but I have been in therapy previously. I just started with my health insurance provider, and looked for doctors that were covered. From there, I researched their specialties to find someone who had experience with my particular issues. Just because you don't get a referral doesn't mean you have to go in blind. I think a lot of professionals these days have information on their websites that could help you decide if they're right for you. After that, it's just about going for a visit and seeing if you like talking to that person. 
    For what it's worth I highly recommend following through and getting a counselor. It's not easy at first to put yourself out there, but it can be so helpful to talk with someone. I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I hope you find someone to help you through it.
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  • I also have not gone to any counseling. I didnt for my other two but I will likely seek it out soon. Im two days post d&c from my last mc, which i was 8w2d and baby was 8w2d. Im being tested so is baby, so i feel counseling will help with all the emotions i have and will face. This is my 3rd miscarriage and I only told 6 or 7 people this time because of the priors so I dont have as much support. If you find someone and go, please tell us, id love to hear how it went.
  • fioripfiorip
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited April 2016
    First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. With my second loss I was all over the place, I was already 21.6 weeks and certainly didn't expect anything to go wrong at that point. I refused to go to work, couldn't eat properly, couldn't sleep, everyday was a struggle. When I arrived at the doctors office I would break down in tears and at my last check up post labor I asked my doctor to refer me to a therapist, you can definitely do that. I know how hard it can be and I really hope you can find peace, what I took from therapy and I'm really trying to apply again is to remind yourself that everything passes.

    You will never forget this, it doesn't matter if you were 5 weeks or 20 weeks, at any stage you loss a child, no one ever forgets that but a time will come when you'll feel better and you'll be able to look back on this as a bad thing that happened to you but it didn't destroy you and it won't. You'll learn to live through the pain. But for now, it's ok to cry inconsolably, and it's ok to feel anger, and sadness and every other emotion out there, take your time to mourn but also be kind to yourself, what happened wasn't your fault, you didn't deserve it, no one does, it's just one of those things that happen, it's part of being alive. Hugs to you. 
    I'm 29, husband is 30
    Together since 2006
    Married 01.17.15  <3

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