Feeling alone. Single and pregnant

ionabetts · April 2016

Hi. I am single because i just split up with my boyfriend and i am pregnant. I am worried about my baby not having a father around and i will be alone. Im also worried about telling my parents because i think they will feel great responsibility and will be upset because it is an unplanned pregnancy and im not with anyone. I just dont want to disappoint them. They already look after me a lot. Overall, i just dont feel secure at the moment because this is not how it is supposed to be

suchaglencoco · April 2016

ionabetts said:

Hi. I am single because i just split up with my boyfriend and i am pregnant. I am worried about my baby not having a father around and i will be alone. Im also worried about telling my parents because i think they will feel great responsibility and will be upset because it is an unplanned pregnancy and im not with anyone. I just dont want to disappoint them. They already look after me a lot. Overall, i just dont feel secure at the moment because this is not how it is supposed to be

First, take a deep breath. You're not the only person who's had an unplanned pregnancy. There are plenty of single moms out there who rock it out, so it's doable.
Second, how old are you? Your ex bf? And does he know? He may still want to be involved with the child and even if he doesn't, he needs to be involved financially.
Third, tell your parents. They may be disappointed, but you will need a support system and most parents get over it and get excited about their grandchild.

ionabetts · April 2016

I hope my parents are happy. My ex boyfriend doesnt want anything to do with the baby. Im 27. I know its doable and thanks for the advice.

megstervt · April 2016

Well he doesn't get much of a choice at least financially if you're willing to put in the legal work to ensure that. As for everything else, it probably seems impossible but you can do it!

suchaglencoco · April 2016

Do you know any friend or closer acquaintance who have been in a similar position? Perhaps you can private message them and ask them how they went about the financial support aspect of it all, if they used an attorney or anything like that.

juliehollz13 · April 2016

I 2nd @megstervt - the child is his and he is legally obligated to pay child support. I'm not sure how old he is, but if he's close to the age that you're at i'm SHOCKED that he thinks he can just say "i dont want anything to do with the baby" and expect to go on with his life like nothing happened.

megstervt · April 2016

@juliehollz13 - unrelated, but good luck at your u/s Thursday!

juliehollz13 · April 2016

megstervt said:

@juliehollz13 - unrelated, but good luck at your u/s Thursday!

@megstervt thank you!!!!!!

eryncameron · June 2016

I was in the same situation at 18. Pregnant, single, and had no business trying to raise a kid when I couldn't even support myself. The baby not having a father around was the ultimate reason I decided to place my child for adoption. I found a wonderful couple that had been trying for years for a child, and he is so well taken care of and loved with them.
Not trying to push adoption, as you may be very excited for a baby, single or not. You never know what a year, or two, or five, may bring. You may find a wonderful guy who will love your child like his own, and they won't care their biological father wanted to skip town.
And honestly, you don't need a man to be a wonderful mother and make a child very happy.

babymama619 · June 2016

@ionabetts I was in your situation about 3 years ago, and it was terrifying, but everyone, and I mean everyone, supported me and my daughter. The single parents board on here is not super active, but very responsive and helpful.

while the father of the baby will be obliged to pay support it does not mean he will. He can also request a paternity test and it takes time for courts to get things in place. Even with an order, he may just not pay, so please don't count on that. Focus on you and the baby and find yourself advocates, whether it's your parents or a close friend. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you'd like.

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