What are you most worried about?

shevaCC · April 2016

What are you most worried about or dreading about pregnancy?

Birth?

Having a(nother) baby?

comealongponds · April 2016

Trying to breastfeed two newborns at once. It sounds like a logistical nightmare haha

shevaCC · April 2016

I'm such an anxious pregnant person and have been for each pregnancy. I keep waiting for the bad news before each appointment. It's just how I am.

With my first I worried about the pain of childbirth. My second was getting to the hospital on time (hospital was 1.5 hours away by car and ferry and ferry stopped running from 1-5am). This time I'm mostly worried about the exhaustion, depending on the timing of labor, and making sure my older children are cared for.

I used to dread baby bodily fluids but even though other people's slobbery babies gross me out apparently my own doesn't. Now I'm worried that a November baby plus daycare germs means sicknesses when baby is scary small. And while DD has always been gentle DS is rough and tumble. I hope he doesn't manage to hurt the little one.

shevaCC · April 2016

@comealongponds, I've heard of twin moms always nursing simultaneously and others never doing it. It seems like a huge production at first when they're tiny and floppy to get both lined up right, but the time savings! I imagine by about 2-3 months whatever your normal is will seem fine to you, even if most of us with singletons couldn't picture it.

msu_gal · April 2016

Right now? I'm deathly afraid of needles, have not had my blood drawn since I was 6yo. And my OB has been nice enough to consolidate my lab work into as few draws as possible. But that draw is about 10 days away and I'm in a bit of panic that I literally will not be able to do it.

shamrocandroll · April 2016

I hesitated to even click on this thread, because my answer is "everything". To be brutally honest, my first emotion when I got my BFP was terror. I've adjusted a little bit more to the idea now, but I'm still scared out of my mind. At the same time, I'm incredibly excited, and I can't wait for my u/s on Monday. I'm pretty sure this is the first time in my life I've wanted a weekend to go by fast so that Monday can get here, haha!

jrussell16 · April 2016

Everything @shamrocandroll said. Terrified of it all, but simultaneously excited. I'm hoping as time passes the excited part will take over more, but I don't think so because I tend to be a pretty anxious person about things I can't control.

comealongponds · April 2016

shevaCC said:

@comealongponds, I've heard of twin moms always nursing simultaneously and others never doing it. It seems like a huge production at first when they're tiny and floppy to get both lined up right, but the time savings! I imagine by about 2-3 months whatever your normal is will seem fine to you, even if most of us with singletons couldn't picture it.

Yeah I've been doing research. I just feel like I'll never get any sleep if I feed them one at a time! I feel like I'll need an extra pair of hands for the first bit while I figure I out (thank goodness for DH).

DunkinDecaf · April 2016

Obviously I'm scared of getting bad news after pretty much every test and scan.

I'm also scared of going into labor spontaneously because I've never done that before. I was induced last time and it was so wonderful. I'm almost positive this delivery will be harder than my last one, because my last one was just about as easy as could be. Also I'm nervous about not getting nurses that I like for labor and delivery. The nurses I had last time were incredible and I think that's 90% of the reason I had such a positive experience.

chloe97 · April 2016

Having a child with severe, life-limiting disability that is in constant pain. A loss of any sort, whether it's a miscarriage today, at childbirth, or after the baby's born would be devastating. But watching a child live in pain, I couldn't even imagine.

whaat · April 2016

I'm terrified of regretting it.

sunbeam1 · April 2016

Immediately most scared of miscarriage. My placenta has a 1.5 cm detachment since week 5 that might heal or might get bigger, so that one feels very real right now. That's the kind of thing that could take me out with the baby, and I live an hour from the ER. Dr acted pretty nonchalant about it, but I'm petrified.

Beyond that, trisomies, birth defects, having the baby too early...

The "normal" process of it and taking care of the baby don't worry me much.

Greencows4812 · April 2016

Making it to the hospital on time. I'm going for a vbac and the closest hospital that does that is 1.5 hours away. My first was born 2.5 hours after my water broke at home so I'm nervous. Living in the country has its downsides lol

hollowway · April 2016

TW

A few things...
1. Losing the baby (3 prior losses)
2. Having this LO be born with the same birth defect (or any) as DD.
3. DD's reaction and transition to having a sibling...
4. DF not being there when LO is born because he's going to the police academy and we don't know if he'll be allowed to leave for the birth.

Birth itself doesn't scare me. Labor with DD was horrific, so I'm pretty set on what to expect, and know the pain is only temporary.

msu_gal · April 2016

Yikes....now I'm worried about a lot of things I hadn't even gotten that far to think about.

Little+Tiny · April 2016

Terrified of miscarriage or the baby being deformed/having a mental disability. SIDS is also very scary for me. I'm also very scared that my parenting style will result in my child having low self esteem, depression, or some other sort of mental problem. I'm terrified that my child will go through a lot of what I did and just be outright depressed. I'm terrified of postpartum depression or thinking negatively about my baby after it is here. I'm terrified of complications during birth, but not of birth itself. I'm scared of the thought of having to give birth in a completely new state all by myself due to my fiance being in the military. I'm also scared that my grandfather won't be alive when the baby gets here as he is 93 and not doing so well.

jstinkz · April 2016

@msu_gal I'm a passer-outer when I get shots or my blood drawn. When I was pregnant with DD I just always had them lay me down and that helps a LOT. I try to drink a little bit of juice before too. Everyone was always congenial about it and let me lay there as long as I needed after the fact. Maybe that would help?!

MollySm · April 2016

Mainly miscarriage or pregnancy/child loss.

remaroni · April 2016

Not making it to the hospital in time to deliver and having a traumatic birth like I did with my son.

How our family dynamic will change forever and we will never be the same. I'm not good with change in general so it's overwhelming. I'm so excited too, but it's still scary.

BmcD2016 · April 2016

Finances. I know you can never be fully financially prepared for a child. But this is something that almost made me tell H that I didn't want to have a baby yet, then we got surprised! I think of daycare $150-250 a week, plus formula/ diapers. Heaven forbid my Union doesnt go on strike this summer so I don't lose my health benefits. We live comfortable as it is right now, and I know we can be more strict on our spending, but sometimes I'm like where is this extra money going to come from?

atcwag · April 2016

Pregnancy - the dreaded conundrum that is being so overly exhausted in late pregnancy, but too uncomfortable to sleep.

Birth - Having to be induced again if I can't keep my BP under control. I'm total gung-ho no drugs, but screw that if I'm induced again.

Having another baby - Not getting 12 weeks of total 1 on 1 time. I'm sure there are pluses with having a toddler at home, but I'm really struggling with that notion right now.

shevaCC · April 2016

@remaroni, nearly every woman (me included) on DD's BMB had a mini freak out in the days, weeks, or months before their new baby arrived that they were ruining their older child's life forever. Then we all changed our tune over the months that followed and now can't picture our families any other way. Knowing it was normal gave me at least a little comfort, though didn't keep me from having my own freak out -- hormones are the suck!

remaroni · April 2016

shevaCC said:

@remaroni, nearly every woman (me included) on DD's BMB had a mini freak out in the days, weeks, or months before their new baby arrived that they were ruining their older child's life forever. Then we all changed our tune over the months that followed and now can't picture our families any other way. Knowing it was normal gave me at least a little comfort, though didn't keep me from having my own freak out -- hormones are the suck!

That makes me feel better! Thank you! I know it will be the new normal eventually, just so hard to imagine!

doraleigh35 · April 2016

1) Pregnancy- Safely making it through 9 months.

2) Birth- DH not being there. He has 3 weekends of road trips leading up to my due date. If he has a game (home or away) when I go into labor, he won't be able to be there.

l'm also worried about my vasovagal syncope and how my body will react to labor. A lot of things associated with labor are triggers for me (body temperature, pain, vomiting, bright lights).

3) Having a baby- I think I'm most worried about what I don't know.

shamrocandroll · April 2016

Mkay, I have to stop reading this thread now, before I go into anxiety attack mode.

comealongponds · April 2016

EDK2010 said:
*snip*
l'm also worried about my vasovagal syncope and how my body will react to labor. A lot of things associated with labor are triggers for me (body temperature, pain, vomiting, bright lights).
*snip*

I have vasovagal reactions to PAPs so giving birth ought to be interesting...give me allll the drugs!

tatertat313 · April 2016

Balancing 2 kids is probably at the top...we seem so busy with my 2.5 y/o son now, I can't even imagine what adding a newborn to the mix will be like...I know we'll adapt, but it will be hard at first

and second is breastfeeding...I only made it to 5 months last time and had to supplement, so I want to get a lactation consultant this time and go to LLL meetings to build a better support system for myself this time around

also hoping I don't have to push for 3 hours again this time, but that's the least of my worries cause as soon as it's over there's instant relief

doraleigh35 · April 2016

comealongponds said:

EDK2010 said:
*snip*
l'm also worried about my vasovagal syncope and how my body will react to labor. A lot of things associated with labor are triggers for me (body temperature, pain, vomiting, bright lights).
*snip*

I have vasovagal reactions to PAPs so giving birth ought to be interesting...give me allll the drugs!

@comealongpondsUgh it sucks! I've been dealing with vasovagal syncope episodes my whole life. They wanted to give me a pacemaker when I was 18. It's pretty manageable now and I haven't passed out yet this pregnancy. I'll definitely be getting drugs!

FiancB · April 2016

Obviously scared of having another loss. Very paranoid about SIDS as well- I would always check if my nephews and nieces were breathing when they were babies. I don't know how I'll sleep at night with a newborn of my own. I can also be really spacy and am scared I'll leave my kid in a hot car or something.

I'm scared I'll hate it at first. I really need a lot of downtime to decompress and a baby isn't going to allow for that. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with keeping up on adulting as it is, I don't know how the fuck people do it with kids thrown in. Truthfully I'd much rather be a SAHM than work- I know staying at home is hard in its own way but I'm not one of those people that really crave social interaction at all and I'd be a-ok without having a full time job thrown into everything else I have to do.

Also worried about breastfeeding. I really want to do it, but I really hate having my boobs touched, let alone gnawed on. Pumping doesn't sound a whole lot more pleasant.

Terrified of postpartum pooping. The rest, I feel familiar and pretty good with, but not that.

When they're older, I'm worried I'll have the same weird, cold, distant relationship with this kid as I do with my parents. I was always taken care of but I don't feel like I can tell them anything and like they're very judgey. I'd like to be much closer to my kids but also strike a good balance of not trying too hard to be their friend more than a parent.

Roxell · April 2016

I'm terrified of getting PPD again.

AmandaR417 · April 2016

Pregnancy: actually not a lot of fears here. Or at least they pale in comparison to the l&d and baby fears...

Labor: pooping during delivery (and, thanks to some snooping of other boards, I'm nervous about this in the days following delivery, too) also tearing....didnt know this was a thing until recently. Yikes.

Baby: I've never even changed a diaper, so basically I don't know anything. Also, I don't think we can afford for me to take time off from work, so I'll probably be back after 4 weeks., which terrifies me.

mrsmoose5 · April 2016

msu_gal I hate getting my blood drawn too. I used to sob uncontrollably every time I had to get it done, it was awful. While I still don't enjoy it and sometimes get a little woozy, after my first pregnancy I can handle it much better now. You kind of just have to come to terms with the fact that you're going to get poked and prodded A LOT before this baby is born and you will get used to it (or least not react as badly lol).

mrsmoose5 · April 2016

First and foremost, I worry about baby being healthy and developing normally. After that, I'm most worried about labor. My labor with DS was a nightmare and I really don't want to repeat it. I'm afraid if I try for a VBAC the same thing will happen and will end up with a long, painful labor + a c-section. But I'm afraid if I just go for a c-section, recovery will be awful, especially with a toddler at home. I'm also worried about complications happening in either scenario. I feel like I was less nervous about labor before I had a baby, and now that I've had one I'm terrified. Ugh, ignorance was bliss ...

RaeJ004 · April 2016

Being able to pull off a vaginal birth, getting to the hospital in time (last time I walked into the delivery room, DH pulled my pants off and I pushed), never sleeping, trying to exclusively nurse both babies, the list goes on.
Aaaand most importantly I seriously don't know what I'm going to do with two newborns and a 2 year old during preschool drop off and pick up. Uuuuugh!

squish143 · April 2016

I'm sure this is super irrational but my biggest fear is my ability to love another child as much as I love DS. I don't feel like it's humanly possible and I'm absolutely terrified that I won't feel that connection when the baby is born. I'm also scared that ds won't like the baby or that he will be super jealous or feel like we don't have enough time for him. These are all new emotions for me because I didn't have to worry about this last time on top of the worry about if everything with the baby is okay before and after each appt.

Seattleite86 · April 2016

Loss. Still birth. Half of all still births end up without a "why". Im particularly sensitive because im a photogrpaher and i am also a volunteer photographer for a non profit that photographs still born babies or babies that die shortly after birth. I have seen and photographed baby loss at every stage, from 20 weeks to full term sleeping beautiful babies. And i see the torment of loss on the family. Ive heard the first cries after life support has been turned off. And it makes you feel hollow. I love my work even though it is extremely draining, i remember all of my babies and their names, i had the honor to know them in their short life. But i know how it could just happen, to the nicest parents, to ready parents who did everything they could. So i have that in my mind as always possible and it is a little scary. And im still photographing the babies until i start to really show, then i will stop for a while for the mother's sake to not have to have a pregnant woman in her hospital room.

thatlauragirl · April 2016

I'm scared of having another loss.

I'm scared of preeclampsia again.

I'm scared of PPD again.

I'm scared my relationship with my ds will change.

But I keep trying to remind myself the stuff I'm excited about far exceeds the stuff I'm scared about. Today everything is great and today is what matters right now.

CherryPicked · April 2016

@Seattleite86 Thank you for the amazing work that you do.

MandersX · April 2016

Scared the baby will have some development issues. Scared of maintaining a healthy pregnancy without complications. Of adjusting after to life. I also need a lot of down time and me time. Scared of finances.

@FiancB That is something I think about a lot. I have an OK relationship with my parents, but it isn't like we can talk about anything and just comfortably hang out. So many posts on this board already have mentioned strained or difficult relationships with parents. How do I make sure I don't screw up that with my soon to be kid??

EmmieAnn22 · April 2016

@Seattleite86 Thank you, from the bottom of my heart thank you for the amazing volunteer work you do. I never knew something like that existed and until I sadly needed that service.

TinyAlligator · April 2016

Having another nicu baby and complicated pregnancy. If we could avoid both I'll be a happy camper.

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