A quick hello!

Mlight28 · March 2016

Hi Ladies!
Just wanted to come introduce myself here.
DH and I have been married for almost 5 years, and have been TTC for a year.
We have started basic testing at my OB.
SA came back normal. CD3 test was normal. CD 21 test showed no ovulation, but I always ovulate "late" by normal standards, so a week later I repeated the blood test, which confirmed ovulation.
I have an ultrasound tomorrow and then we will be talking about where to go from here.
Unfortunately the nearest RE is about 2 hours from me, but I expect to have a referral there and I'll just make it work.
DH is super supportive and i couldnt ask for a better person to go through this with. He lets me vent and talk about everything as long as I need to, and always seems to know the right things to say to lift my spirits.
We have been 100% private about our journey. No one else knows, so it's nice to have you ladies to talk to as well. I'm active on the TTGP board as well. Looking forward to getting to know you ladies!!

Has anyone else kept your struggle to conceive private?? At what point did you tell your family/close friends?? We struggle with this often. We are both close to our families, but I have a lot of anxiety about bringing this up to them.
I know they would provide a lot of love and support but I can't seem to pull the trigger and just tell them.

ReesaAnne16 · March 2016

Hey! Welcome, I moved over here a little early. I hope you get some answers from you RE visit or good news that nothing major is wrong.

Its so hard to decide when to tell people what. A handful of my closest girl friends know we are having trouble TTC, and my sister-in-laws. We still haven't told either of our parents. I really don't trust my mom not to tell the whole extended family, and I really don't want their pity (or advice!). I feel like we will probably tell our parents if we start treatment with IUI, so they can be praying and so they stop asking when we'll start a family

Mlight28 · March 2016

@ReesaAnne16 I totally agree with you. I don't want either pity or advice, just love and support. And because I can't pick how people react to me telling them about our TTC struggle, I've kept it secret.
Pros and cons both ways, but I'm just not feeling ready to open up yet.

wifeinraleigh28 · March 2016

Welcome @Mlight28! I'm sorry you're having trouble TTC. This board is very supportive, so you've come to a good place.

We're pretty private and have only told a very select few individuals that we're doing fertility treatment. My mom included. I don't know what I would do if she didn't know what we were doing. We made her promise to keep it 100% secret, even from my dad. I personally wouldn't mind if my dad knew, but my DH doesn't want him to so I have to respect that. Only my mom, my DH's dad, and my best friend know what we're doing. It helps me a lot to have a couple people I trust in the loop. But that decision is entirely up to you!

Best of luck with your RE referral!

Plainjanie · March 2016

Welcome to the board. There are a lot of great people on this board full of help and inspiration.

We haven't told anyone anything. My parents and my DH's mother never ask us about having kids. I assume my mom assumes we are struggling with it. She has always had good intuition.

My step-mother-in-law consistently asks us.

My answer always is 'We are enjoying being dinks right now. Double Income No Kids!'

I think we will be the same. Myself anyways, and talk to my mom if we started IUI.

It's hard. @wifeinraleigh28 I think my DH would feel the same way about my Dad knowing...especially since it appears to be a MFI.

Mlight28 · March 2016

@wifeinraleigh28 @plainjanie Thank you for the welcome!
I also assume my mom has an idea that we are trying. She was all about emailing me articles about the Zika virus since we were considering a trip to the Carribbean. So obviously she has some idea.

I kind of like your approach of the IUI being time to open up to them.

My ultrasound today went great. I wasn't expecting the transvaginal ultrasound, but that wasn't a big deal.

I might get flamed for this (and I know it's all out of love and true concern), but he gave me a prescription for clomid today. He's an OB, not an RE. I have been totally against taking clomid with an OB for a long time.
He did answer a lot of questions I had, said we could do all the monitoring I wanted, and made me feel better about it.
Also, the nearest RE is a 2 hour drive, one way.
Im still processing this, but considering it.

lablover78 · March 2016

@Mlight28 regarding your OB- I think it is great that he was able to answer questions and was open to "all the monitoring you want." That along with a 2 hr commute to an RE- I think as long as you are very educated on the monitoring you will be ok to start with him. I am one of those without insurance who tried to do a cycle with my acupuncturist and my OB and had a bad experience BUT my OB is totally not open to alternative therapies and was also a little uneducated in my opinion. When I told her I had gotten my progesterone level check 7 days post ovulation (rather than day 21) she was upset and couldn't understand why I would do that. However, I have LONG cycles and never ovulate anywhere near day 14 and had been doing OPKs. Then when I told her my acupuncturist had suggested progesterone for the next cycle she was un-receptive indicating that is an outdated practice. Fast forward to working with my RE and I have had 4 u/s so far and they Rx the progresterone cream to start using 36 hours after I did the trigger injection. So, I think the bottom line is that it depends on the OB and all the other factors. I have been at the RE weekly since starting my cycle this month so that can be a huge burden. Good luck!!!

Mlight28 · March 2016

@lablover78 Thanks for your reply!
Sorry you had a bad experience with your OB. Hopefully your RE has you on the right track. I agree that's a lot of time at the RE. I'm sure that's exhausting!!
I'm totally on board with doing whatever appointments I need with my OB who is a 10 minute drive from work. It would be almost impossible to do the RE visits for me without taking the entire day off to do 4 hours of driving plus the appointment weekly or more often.
I'm thinking that my OB is used to people not wanting to make that drive. He didn't seem surprised or upset that I wanted either monitoring or a referral.

I think I'm going to give it a try. I feel like I have done my research and know what monitoring I want, and he seemed very educated as well.

wifeinraleigh28 · March 2016

@Mlight28 I think that as long as your OB is going to monitor you properly it will be nice for you to be able to avoid that 2 hour drive to the RE! Just read up as much as you can on clomid. The biggest concern for most women is that it can thin your uterine lining. If this goes undetected for long enough it can be permanent and make implantation very difficult if not impossible. Not every woman gets thinned lining, but I would just make sure your OB is checking for that!

Mlight28 · March 2016

Thanks, @wifeinraleigh28 !! I had read some about that being a possible side effect. I will definitely be having him check that out.

ACAC25 · March 2016

Hi @Mlight28 DH and I have also decided to keep our TTC private. We have been trying for about 10 months and will hopefully be referred to a fertility clinic next month. Only one other person knows we are trying which is my best friend who I talk to about once a month. We have also struggled with whether to start telling people or not. Several of our friends have asked because we have been married nearly 2yrs and we wanted kids young (26 now) but we have always denied it. I feel like if we start admitting to our friends that we are trying that we will have to tell our parents because I know they will not ask. It's an awkward conversation to have especially knowing my MIL isn't really into babies and isn't ready for us to have kids and my Mum who is excited for us to have kid but doesn't want the surprise ruined. Very tough call. My best friend is great to vent to but she really doesn't understand and cannot relate emotionally. I am so thankful for thebump discussion boards as a sounding board for emotions and questions.
I hope you find the community you are searching for here

katbb · March 2016

Hi:).....when we first started ttc we were keeping it our little secret so that we could do cute surprise pregnancy announcements without any one suspecting anything.....but as time went on it was really hard not to talk about because it was the only thing I could think about. It got to the point where I avoided talking to people thinking, " I'll call her when I have baby news". Eventually I caved and let people know that we're were struggling to conceive. It's still hard though because most people I know have no idea how difficult and hurtful this journey is. They say the wrong things. ..and make me not want to discuss it anymore. I especially have a hard time talking with people with babies about my fertility struggles.

Worldtravler0522 · March 2016

@Mlight28 we have been TTC for 15 months and I have only just recently told my mom and she is the only family member that knows. Like others have said I just don't want the pity, advice, and additional pressure. It's been hard enough telling the few people that do know when we have a BFN so I'm ok with limiting who we've told. It's been an emotionally draining process at times though and I am greatful for the few people that do know. Good luck! Lots and lots of baby dust your direction.

LadyMillil · March 2016

Hi! I recognize you from TTGP.
I would suggest that you have an HSG to see if your tubes are open before you take Clomid. Clomid does have a max lifetime use and it would be a shame to waste some of those uses when a blocked tube is preventing you from getting pregnant because it's unlikely Clomid would work.
I know some RE clinics have arrangements with "local" clinics so that out of town patients don't have to travel for every appointment, so if you do end up with a referral to the RE it's definitely something to look into.

I've told some friends that we are struggling and they've been very supportive. However, some members of my family have not been supportive, which is difficult.

lin681 · March 2016

hello, and welcome. we didn't tell anyone until we did ivf. it is def a struggle as to when to let family and friends know. good luck in your journey.

Ducks&Cats · April 2016

@mlight28 its wonderful that you feel so supported! My partner is also very supportive, he decided to get the semen analysis on his own and is doing it this Friday. He wants to know all the deets about my appointments, my cycles, my charts etc. I told a few close friends we are ttc but I have only told one friend about trouble ttc and the details of my PCOS and not ovulating at all. This friend is older than me (in her 40s), also has PCOS and had infertility as well. She also use to work in an OBGYN office so she knows a lot about different procedures. Its nice to have one person to talk with and of course TB community who truly understands!

My closest fertility clinic and/or RE is about 1.5 hours away from my house. I was researching clinics and there are only a few options in my state. There are two REs associated with hospitals but they don't do IUI or IVF they just refer to a clinic. The other providers are associated with private fertility clinics. Seriously there are like only four clinics in my entire state! I guess I will just have to make something work...

Anyway, good luck and I look forward to following your story!

Ducks&Cats · April 2016

I didn't realize how old this thread was....is it ok to post on older threads in TTTC forum? i know other forums don't like resurrecting zombie threads!

Mlight28 · April 2016

Hey @Ducks&Cats !! Thanks so much for sharing part of your story with me! I'm with ya on the RE... I'm getting to the point where I really need to figure something out sometime soon. I guess I'll just be driving a long way, a lot.
I think the issue with zombie threads in other places is that the OP has moved on or won't see the response. I'm very much still here, and appreciate your reply! So thank you!!

A quick hello!

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