Thanks:). Today was a bit better, but it feels like we have a ways to go! Meanwhile, how can nursing be this hideously painful when my toddler just stopped nursing a hot second ago??
i am so sick of myself crying. why am I even crying? I have everything I've ever wanted! I feel like I'm just stressing about everything, on the verge of a panic attack. trying to keep it together. if I start to think too much I have to take deep breaths and distract myself with a game on my phone. but the usual stuff I love I just can't even feel like I give a shit about right now, in a scary way. (that excludes the kiddos thankfully; my love for them is fierce) started getting out again this week, and talking to people about my feels (which is unnatural for this introvert, but it really helped me when this happened with my first baby to admit and talk to people about what was going on). @ddjay315, maybe the same could help you also? had a friend visit Monday and went out Tuesday and Wednesday. today we are just chilling at home, but I do feel like I can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel now …
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama
to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
*no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
but i still feel bigger on the inside Autism mama!
Guys im still struggling. Im now 6 week pp and im still in such a roller coaster. Some days i am still crying and i feel like every day is a void of crying, pooping, feeding. I didnt realise how lonely having this baby would be. DH is wrapped up in his projects and work, and since i feed in the night i go to bed at about 8.30pm alone and those night feedings are so lonely. Im also having bouts of anger and resentment, especially towards DH. I think the baby senses it too becuase she has been smiling at DH quite regularly in the last few days but i havnt had a smile yet. When will it get better?
Hugs @clairemwalker so sorry you're still not feeling better. Is there anyone IRL you can talk to? A friend or a doctor? Have you let DH know exactly how you feel? Have you been able to get out of the house much? Even getting our for a half hour has made me feel better!!
@myla14 I am in the same boat. DD (22 months) is working hard to deal with having a little sibling at home. Some days she is good but some days she is horrible and drives us up the wall. This morning was especially bad that I just couldn't take it and had to walk away which made her feel worse because she thought I was abandoning her and kept following me around the house screaming and both of us were crying. Every time she cries, I just couldn't hold my tears and some days I just feel horrible bringing a baby home. I have to pump because DS latches poorly and DD gets so upset when I hold DS and not her. I just don't have the time and energy to keep trying this breastfeeding thing with DS and my supply is not keeping up with DS's need despite the fact that I'm pumping every other hour. My friend told me that since my MIL is here to cook, all I have to do is pump but it's easier from the outside. Sorry... no recommendation, just a lot of venting....
So sorry @clairemwalker .. I know it doesn't help much but those are all totally normal feelings. It is so hard and such a huge adjustment! One of the things that stressed me out the most with DD1 was facing these endless days with no schedule and no predictability. @ecwk is right - are you able to get out to take a walk or get some fresh air each day? Even going to a coffee shop for a cup of tea or coffee can help break up the morning. Does your doctor or hospital have a new moms group? Getting to talk to other moms in person can be a lifesaver if that's an option. Re:smiling: I promise the baby isn't playing favorites already! DH probably has larger or more defined features that baby is reacting to. You will get those smiles soon!!
I'm 2.5 weeks pp and am doing a little better. My 2 year old has been doing well for the most part and I'm having less mom guilt. My struggle is feeling like I can't do anything anymore. I'm scared to death to have both kids out in public, but have big hopes of a fun summer and getting back into our old routine. I feel like I'm just strapped to a couch these days and I spend the night alone in my bedroom doing the night feeding and praying to God he lets me sleep some. It's stressful and makes me anxious. I know it gets better, but right now I still feel like I'm in survival mode.
BFP #1 - 12/30/12 - EDD 9/13/13 - CP
BFP #2 - 2/13/13 - EDD 10/24/13 - born 10/29/13 - Kian Edward
BFP #3 - 7/16/15 - EDD 3/27/16 - born 3/23/16 - Liam James
Thanks for your kind words guys, im sure ill get there, some days are better then others. Ive started going for a walk every day. I have a few friends with babies so im not totally alone, its just trying to figure out the balance. Before i had her i was addicted to work, and now i sit at home. LO isnt a good day sleeper and some days she literally doesnt sleep at all during the so i dont get any breaks. Stupid hormones get alot of blame. I wish my eyeballs would stop leaking!
@clairemwalker that was my hardest transition; going from working in a fast-paced hospital setting surrounded by lots of doctors/nurses/patients to being at home alone with a "quiet" (can't have a conversation) baby. getting out and having visitors really helped. {{hugs}} hope you feel that light again soon, and if you're having a hard time finding it, please chat with someone about it IRL
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama
to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
*no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
but i still feel bigger on the inside Autism mama!
Re: Baby Blues
why am I even crying? I have everything I've ever wanted!
I feel like I'm just stressing about everything, on the verge of a panic attack. trying to keep it together. if I start to think too much I have to take deep breaths and distract myself with a game on my phone. but the usual stuff I love I just can't even feel like I give a shit about right now, in a scary way. (that excludes the kiddos thankfully; my love for them is fierce)
started getting out again this week, and talking to people about my feels (which is unnatural for this introvert, but it really helped me when this happened with my first baby to admit and talk to people about what was going on). @ddjay315, maybe the same could help you also?
had a friend visit Monday and went out Tuesday and Wednesday. today we are just chilling at home, but I do feel like I can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel now …
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
BFP #2 - 2/13/13 - EDD 10/24/13 - born 10/29/13 - Kian Edward
BFP #3 - 7/16/15 - EDD 3/27/16 - born 3/23/16 - Liam James
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!