Gifting your OB?

ColemanBaby16 · April 2016

I did a search and didn't see this topic so if I missed it please point me in the right direction.
I'm part of a mommy group on FB. A question about what to gift your OB and L&D nurses was asked. Is this a thing? I've never heard of this before. I figured we would give a pic of our LO when NB pics are done to our OB for his board of babies.
Are you planning on giving a gift to your OB and nurses?

PeggyOlsonFTW · April 2016

When DS was born, I didn't send anything to my OB. I did send two gift baskets from Harry and David to the nurses because they were amazing and they work long, hard hours and don't get a lot of thank you's for what they do.

nsquaredlife13 · April 2016

I gave my Midwide a Starbucks gift card and thank you card. I gave the nurses a gift basket of chocolates. The nurses are the rock stars and you want to make sure they are happy lol.

UponAStar16 · April 2016

Uh, yea I dunno but I guess it depends how I feel when I am getting ready to leave the hospital? I never really thought about it because in any settings I've worked there were strict rules about not accepting gifts from patients, but maybe it's different for medical professionals...

kmalls · April 2016

Woops, didn't mean to reply. Nothing to see here!!

agogo1 · April 2016

I guess that gifting your OB seems a little odd to me. They are well compensated and, at least typically, their involvement in the labor and delivery process is fairly straightforward and not particularly time consuming. Even a really great OB isn't going to be in the room with you for all that long (I guess this might be different if you're in a super rural area?). Maybe a celebratory bottle of wine or something afterward if you're feeling really nice?

I did make little goody bags for my nurses last time around, though. I can't remember everything that was in them but I do know that they had a lip balm, hand lotion, some gum, and one of those hand sanitizers that's in a rubbery case with a strap for a purse or whatever. I also included a note saying thank you for all that you do from me/baby. IMHO, nurses are seriously under compensated and sometimes under appreciated for all that they do. When I had DD, my L&D nurses and my recovery nurses really defined my experience in the hospital. They do so, so much and mine were true patient advocates who made sure that my medical team understood how I was doing and what I needed. Often times the doctor isn't in the room, so...how are they supposed to know what you need unless a nurse keeps them up to speed? Things during and after the birthing process are not always pretty, shall we say, and my nurses made me feel supported and safe while also allowing me to maintain as much dignity as possible in a not always dignified situation. Those ladies are amazing.

Not sure what I will do this time around, but my nurses will definitely be getting some sort of thank you treat from me again.

rozANDbenSINCE2001 · April 2016

I sent a chocolate tower to my OB and her office. They are an amazing group of women and I just wanted to thank them for taking such great care of us. Also, we brought a huge chocolate assortment for the nurses on our L&D floor that I made sure DH grabbed while I was in labor, hahaha. Also, DH brought some doughnuts in the next morning for the break room. I totally think gift giving is not necessary, but I'm sure it's a touching gesture.

eta: typos

edited again to add: I was thinking about it after reading a few responses. I wanted to reiterate that I certainly don't think it's necessary at all to add any extra stress so while gifts are a nice touch, they certainly are not expected. I only sent my OB and her office something because she's also my GYN and I've been seeing her for over a decade so I'm pretty familiar with her office. And while I understand the sentiment of giving the nurses a healthy treat instead of cookies or other baked goods, I don't think they'd be upset by any gesture at all. My aunt was a L&D nurse for 30 years and my older cousin is a neonatal nurse and they are truly touched by any sentiment. My husband wasn't thinking, oh I should get a fruit basket for the nurses, on the way back from showering in the morning after having our baby. He went to get us some coffees and since he was there, he thought it would be a nice gesture to bring in some doughnuts. The nurses thanked him and I think the gesture was appreciated even if the treats were not.

kmalls · April 2016

Uh, yeah, I agree with @agogo1. My OB is paid very well for her services, and when I delivered DS there wasn't even a single OB from my practice on call, nevermind the one I had been seeing most of that pregnancy. I feel like a gift isn't necessary.

A gift for the nurses is great in theory, but I honestly had a different day nurse every day and a different night nurse every night during our 5 day stay, so I'm not sure a gift would have gotten very far unless I brought, like, 10 of them. And personally, the last thing I was thinking about when waiting out those last few days of pregnancy was "hmmm I need to run out and get a gift for the nurses."

FemShep · April 2016

ColemanBaby16 said:

I did a search and didn't see this topic so if I missed it please point me in the right direction.
I'm part of a mommy group on FB. A question about what to gift your OB and L&D nurses was asked. Is this a thing? I've never heard of this before. I figured we would give a pic of our LO when NB pics are done to our OB for his board of babies.
Are you planning on giving a gift to your OB and nurses?

Many hospitals have policies prohibiting gifts above a certain amount. Certainly, "gifting" your OB anything above a heartfelt thank you is unnecessary. If you'd like to treat your nurses, who truly make a huge difference in your quality of care, a gift of food in the break room is often much appreciated and usually conforms to hospital policies. (But make sure food gifts don't contain nuts, just in case.)

queen_frostine · April 2016

This *sounds* awesome, but how to predict... how many nurses there will be? When do you give them the gift, when they first come in? How do you know they deserve it then? (I have a friend with medical problems who is in the hospital a lot and she occasionally comes across a dud.) What if you think you'll see them again but you don't? What if you saw them but don't remember? When I had my D&C, I was only at the hospital for a couple of hours, but I must have had at least four different nurses and I couldn't tell you any of their names or tell them apart. I was focusing on other things (and wasn't even in labor!)

Therefore, I like the break room idea, but again I'd freak out - what if they don't like the food you bring? You can avoid nuts but then the strawberry pastries are off limits to your favorite nurse you didn't know is allergic to strawberries... how do you find the break room... everything is so complicated!

You guys are freaking me out by giving me one more thing to do

TurtleMomma · April 2016

Nope. They get a paycheck and my gratitude.

TurtleMomma · April 2016

FWIW though, if you go the treat route for the nurses, get them something healthy. Nurses get tired of cookies, chocolate and donuts.

katlarissa · April 2016

I didn't do anything for the nurses with DS, although I thought about it beforehand. I got overwhelmed thinking about trying to make sure I didn't miss a single nurse taking care of me, and not knowing even a ballpark figure of how many that would be.
This time around, I do plan on doing little "happies" for my L&D nurses. The three I had were fantastic last time, and I wished I had an extra way to thank them. Now that I've been through it I know I'll want something specifically for those nurses, and since I'm laboring in the same hospital I know approximately how many of them there will be.
I plan to give lip balm, hand lotion, a few treats (but nothing homemade...that's against hospital policy,) and a handwritten thank you note.
As for my OB, I know how much he's getting paid and how brief a time he's actually present.

I am grateful for him, but don't feel he needs a goody bag.

kennelchick · April 2016

As a nurse I can tell you we don't expect any gifts from our patients. We are happy as long as you don't swear at us, treat us like servants or throw things at us (not an LD nurse, but I'm going to assume swearing is cool during labor). Sometimes when patients do give us gifts, like food, we are very happy. Most of us being given germphobes, prepackaged food makes us very happy, especially since most of us are do busy we don't get to eat during our shift and things that can be quickly grabbed and eaten quickly are awesome. But, honestly, a nice patient with a good sense of humor makes us just as happy as a muffin basket. I don't know if this helps anyone, but I thought I'd give the nurse prospective.

socks2819 · April 2016

kmalls said:

Uh, yeah, I agree with @agogo1. My OB is paid very well for her services, and when I delivered DS there wasn't even a single OB from my practice on call, nevermind the one I had been seeing most of that pregnancy. I feel like a gift isn't necessary.

A gift for the nurses is great in theory, but I honestly had a different day nurse every day and a different night nurse every night during our 5 day stay, so I'm not sure a gift would have gotten very far unless I brought, like, 10 of them. And personally, the last thing I was thinking about when waiting out those last few days of pregnancy was "hmmm I need to run out and get a gift for the nurses."

This all the way.

PeggyOlsonFTW · April 2016

RainMira9e said:

This *sounds* awesome, but how to predict... how many nurses there will be? When do you give them the gift, when they first come in? How do you know they deserve it then? (I have a friend with medical problems who is in the hospital a lot and she occasionally comes across a dud.) What if you think you'll see them again but you don't? What if you saw them but don't remember? When I had my D&C, I was only at the hospital for a couple of hours, but I must have had at least four different nurses and I couldn't tell you any of their names or tell them apart. I was focusing on other things (and wasn't even in labor!)

Therefore, I like the break room idea, but again I'd freak out - what if they don't like the food you bring? You can avoid nuts but then the strawberry pastries are off limits to your favorite nurse you didn't know is allergic to strawberries... how do you find the break room... everything is so complicated!

You guys are freaking me out by giving me one more thing to do

I just had something mailed to them when I got home from the hospital.

JamieK1882 · April 2016

We got pizza for the night nurses, bagels for the morning, and a sandwich ring for the midday shift. Tried to cover them all because they were amazing.

SuperNerd42 · April 2016

I'm a little overwhelmed by the thought of it. With DD I saw a ton of different people throughout the day- two different OBs, a PA, a fellow, multiple nurses, observing nurses... I think there were more than 12 people in the room while I delivered, not counting myself and DH lol. To be clear, I deliver at a hospital that is well known for teaching and training, and I was asked and ok'd for everyone to be there. While everyone was great and professional, it is all also part of the job. I didn't have enough "heartfelt" interaction with any one person to send a particular gift.

fitlady21 · April 2016

Another thing.. I'm a drug rep and do lunches all the time so I see how quickly their schedule gets filled with lunches, breakfast, and snacks. Food items usually aren't needed.

JamieK1882 · April 2016

At our hospital one of the nurses told me they get a ton of candy and prefer "healthier" or "real food" options which is why we did a sandwich ring instead of chocolate or candy. I was told it all went!

jillianpardo · April 2016

I think the nurses definitely deserve some extra thanks. I will make sure I know the nurses names and write them a thank you note. I will probably also have my girls color something and have them give it to the nurse when they come visit in the hospital.

I WISH I could remember the name of the dr that ended up being the guy for the delivery. My OB was out of town and when it was time for the dr to come the backup OB was MIA. The nurses hunted down this Dr who was a teaching Dr. He actually let my husband catch the baby. He was so funny. We definitely made a point to tell him how much we appreciated his help and his thoughtfulness in allowing DH to get more involved in the delivery. My husband actually cried when thanking him. DH said half jokingly that he was going to go back to school to be an OB, haha!!

szwill86 · April 2016

My sister is a L&D nurse and said that treats are always appreciated, but she appreciates thank you notes written to her even more.

kmvisioli · April 2016

I wrote a thank-you note for the nurse who was there during the end of labor and my delivery, but really don't see a need to stress or spend extra money on gifts.

sjo_thetwins · April 2016

FTM question - slightly off topic - but how often is it the case where the OB you've been seeing is the one that delivers the baby?

MRSCORKER · April 2016

samijrichards said:

FTM question - slightly off topic - but how often is it the case where the OB you've been seeing is the one that delivers the baby?

My OB is in a practice with one other doctor who I've never met. She said that the 2 of them back each other up and that they deliver 90% of their patients. Not sure if that helps...

FemShep · April 2016

samijrichards said:

FTM question - slightly off topic - but how often is it the case where the OB you've been seeing is the one that delivers the baby?

It depends on the size of the practice, which dictates how often your OB is on call. If you have 8 OBs in a practice, the odds are lower than if there are 4.

It also depends on whether you're induced or end up with a scheduled c-section, of course.

Most practices will have you rotate so that you see all of the doctors in the practice at least once before you give birth, so hopefully the OB isn't a total stranger!

sjo_thetwins · April 2016

There is only one OB at our practice. She owns the practice and it's just her. So that's why I don't see how she can deliver at the hospital AND Doctor all of these women. @FemShep

krzyriver · April 2016

When my RE passed me off to my OB, the nurse called and asked me to let her know how things go. I plan to send her a thank you card with a picture of the baby, but that's all. I worked in a nursing home and was not allowed to accept gifts (with one exception) so I would hate to try to be nice and create an awkward situation. Plus, it's their job and showing appreciation is one thing, but buying gifts isn't necessary.

daisy19782011 · April 2016

When I had my twins, I was inpatient and lived in the hospital for 5 weeks before I went home. I did send those nurses treats when I left, but I don't think I will this time as long as it is a "normal" stay----3 days for a c-section. I didn't send anything to my MFM/OB.

FemShep · April 2016

samijrichards said:

There is only one OB at our practice. She owns the practice and it's just her. So that's why I don't see how she can deliver at the hospital AND Doctor all of these women. @FemShep

I delivered my second at a single-doctor practice. In general, a single-doctor practice won't have more than 100-125 OB patients for exactly that reason.

nlane0723 · April 2016

samijrichards said:

FTM question - slightly off topic - but how often is it the case where the OB you've been seeing is the one that delivers the baby?

My second primary OB delivered DD. If I hadn't been in labor for so long (28 hours), my OB would have been the one to deliver.

We will be getting our nurses an edible arrangement.

gatorMom2014 · April 2016

jillianpardo said:

I WISH I could remember the name of the dr that ended up being the guy for the delivery. My OB was out of town and when it was time for the dr to come the backup OB was MIA. The nurses hunted down this Dr who was a teaching Dr. He actually let my husband catch the baby. He was so funny. We definitely made a point to tell him how much we appreciated his help and his thoughtfulness in allowing DH to get more involved in the delivery. My husband actually cried when thanking him. DH said half jokingly that he was going to go back to school to be an OB, haha!!

This is a very sweet story! I bet if you just ask your OB's office they can look up his name in your records.

Lauren0216 · April 2016

Before I even went into labor, I made a huge gift basket with lots of snacks, granola bars, candies, etc for the nurses. Boy am I glad I did too because every nurse at my hospital was AMAZING!!! My husband brought the basket in the day after I had our DD on his way to the hospital.

As for my OB, I wrote her a nice card and gave her a box of chocolates from a lovely local chocolate store in town.

I don't think that you are required at all to give gifts, but I was so happy to be able to, especially for the nurses. These amazing people helped us deliver and care for our sweet LO.

queen_frostine · April 2016

My hospital has specific L&D doctors that stay there and deliver babies when OBs aren't available.

moquat · April 2016

I know this isn't an L&D story but my mom was recently hospitalized unexpectedly out of town for 2.5 weeks. Her nurses were AMAZING and funny and caring and the way they scheduled at the hospital she had the same nurses for day and night shifts for a few days in a row. Having awesome nurses makes such a huge difference for the patient and family*. We ended up getting our nurses a box of delicious french pastries, which they put in the break room to share and loved. I think my dad also got our main nurse a gift card to the Au Bon Pain in the hospital. This was following the advice of a family friend who is a nurse who said that they can't really accept most gifts but that food is always okay and welcome. Meals, healthy food, and things you can shove in your mouth between patients I agree are probably great.

*My mom was hospitalized a month later in her hometown with not-so-awesome nurses with turnover every single day which made the already shitty situation even more miserable- except the one awesome floater nurse who made her laugh every time she had a shift.

cbamama641 · April 2016

samijrichards said:

FTM question - slightly off topic - but how often is it the case where the OB you've been seeing is the one that delivers the baby?

Depends on how many docs are in your group, when you deliver, if you are induced/scheduled section. My doc has delivered all three of my babies, two inductions, one spotaneously.. There are four docs in the group.

cbamama641 · April 2016

Also, we had patient recently bring in a huge gift basket full of all her pregnancy cravings! It was the nicest basket we've gotten and everything was good! I'll probably do something similar, mostly because I'll be delivering amongst my coworkers..

nurses love getting ANY sort of recognition for a job well done, be it sweet treats or healthy treats, it all makes us feel good to be recognized!

str13 · April 2016

Lurking.
I'm a med-surg nurse and food is always appreciated, however not expected. I have to eat gluten free and can rarely, if ever, eat what's brought in, but I don't mind! It's the thought. Nursing can sometimes be a thankless job, so it's nice when someone makes a point to acknowledge your hard work.

However if you're stressing about getting a gift, don't!! We don't mind one bit. We don't want anyone stressing about something like that. The patients I remember are ones that never gave me anything! The one that I'll always remember stopped when I was leaving the room and told me I was doing a great job and was a wonderful nurse!

I do agree with pp that said we're generally very happy if we don't get yelled at, cussed at, hit, or have things thrown at us, especially shit. And we're nurses, we can cuss with the best of them! So we don't mind the cussing, just when it's directed AT us! Also don't grab my breasts, butt, or between my legs pretty, pretty please!!

samkins · April 2016

I plan on buttering up the nurses with food. I already warned the hubby that I'll be sending him on doughnut runs for them, they are the ones you deal with most. Prob nothing for doc.

Glow360 · April 2016

Truth be told gift all you want but hospital policy keeps them from taking it home. It goes into break room for everyone to share. They are not allowed to take gifts, and are taught to except and take to break room. It's not a wise idea to gift paid professionals as far as ethical policy goes, it's a waste of time. I've worked in hospitals. Midwife at home births might be different tho

waterfall213 · April 2016

I had a scheduled induction with my DD so I made snack mix and left it at the nurses station. I gave my midwife a birth announcement at my post partum appointment.

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