September 2016 Moms

FFFC

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Re: FFFC

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  • This is the quick search dictionary definition of feminism. I think it's important to research the real definition of something before claiming that it doesn't apply to you. One person's poor representation of something doesn't change the definition, the core of the movement, and what it stands for. I think it's important to realize that feminism isn't just about one woman, one man, one country, or one culture. It's about the movement as it pertains world wide. It's about appreciating the gender equality we have in certain countries (thanks to many great "feminists" before us) while still realizing we have a ways to go. It's about fighting for the rights of every woman around the world to share the same privileges that we have in North America.



    fem·i·nism
    ˈfeməˌnizəm/
    noun
    1. the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.
      synonyms:the women's movement, the feminist movement, women's liberation, female emancipation, women's rights
      informalwomen's lib
      "a longtime advocate of feminism


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  • No need to burn a bra to be a feminist, just teach your kids to respect each gender, see each other as equal human beings and to strive to make those around them do the same. Maybe then the negative connotation of the word will disappear and we'll just have people talking about fighting for equality instead of about feminazis. 


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  • @runningisrad @AlwaysAuntNeverMom Plus, my boobs are frankly a little obscene if they're not properly restrained!  I don't think a free-riding set would be considered "appropriate" for a high school teacher... :wink:
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  • Jabreen said:
    @runningisrad @AlwaysAuntNeverMom Plus, my boobs are frankly a little obscene if they're not properly restrained!  I don't think a free-riding set would be considered "appropriate" for a high school teacher... :wink:
    I also feel like it would hurt a lot, especially when exercising. 
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  • First, I just want to say YAAASSSSSS to everything @runningisrad has said about feminism! So on point.

    And I want to add my thoughts about why male issues are often tied into the feminist movement. I think part of it stems from the way traditionally feminine pursuits are minimized and associated with weakness. Like, for a guy to like knitting or pink or to openly cry--these are all traditionally feminine traits. So the question becomes whether you consider traditionally feminine traits to be negative. I'd say that they are frequently regarded as negative, especially when compared with more lauded masculine traits like strength, stoicism, playing sports, etc. So essentially, part of the reason for feminism to focus on things like this is to say that feminine traits AREN'T inherently negative or less important than masculine traits, and therefore men shouldn't feel embarrassed to act in traditionally feminine ways. 

    Male rape victims are a similar issue, because men coming out as victims puts them in a traditionally feminine position--they could be seen as weaker, more submissive, etc--and that association is so strong and so negative, it often scares them into silence. But WHY is it such a terrible thing to be associated with feminine traits? There's this great Iggy Pop quote I always think of about why he doesn't mind wearing a dress, and he said, "I'm not ashamed to dress 'like a woman,' because I don't think it's shameful to be a woman." 

    That said, I think labels are a quick way to inflame conversations sometimes since people have their own notions about those labels--like, my husband is totally a feminist in every way, but he would NEVER say that he is because his perception of the term is different than mine. So who cares what you call yourself? As long as you care about the rights of women, then you can call yourself whatever you want! :) 
  • schuberta said:
    First, I just want to say YAAASSSSSS to everything @runningisrad has said about feminism! So on point.

    And I want to add my thoughts about why male issues are often tied into the feminist movement. I think part of it stems from the way traditionally feminine pursuits are minimized and associated with weakness. Like, for a guy to like knitting or pink or to openly cry--these are all traditionally feminine traits. So the question becomes whether you consider traditionally feminine traits to be negative. I'd say that they are frequently regarded as negative, especially when compared with more lauded masculine traits like strength, stoicism, playing sports, etc. So essentially, part of the reason for feminism to focus on things like this is to say that feminine traits AREN'T inherently negative or less important than masculine traits, and therefore men shouldn't feel embarrassed to act in traditionally feminine ways. 

    Male rape victims are a similar issue, because men coming out as victims puts them in a traditionally feminine position--they could be seen as weaker, more submissive, etc--and that association is so strong and so negative, it often scares them into silence. But WHY is it such a terrible thing to be associated with feminine traits? There's this great Iggy Pop quote I always think of about why he doesn't mind wearing a dress, and he said, "I'm not ashamed to dress 'like a woman,' because I don't think it's shameful to be a woman." 

    That said, I think labels are a quick way to inflame conversations sometimes since people have their own notions about those labels--like, my husband is totally a feminist in every way, but he would NEVER say that he is because his perception of the term is different than mine. So who cares what you call yourself? As long as you care about the rights of women, then you can call yourself whatever you want! :) 
    Yes, yes, this! Echoing this! 
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  • A+ gifs! Ten points to Gryffindor!
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  • PSUBecky23PSUBecky23 member
    edited April 2016

    My mother, in a management position, has somehow frequently had to tell employee that they need to dress more appropriately (i.e. less slutty) or that they need to wear a bra. She's a product of the 70s burning bras era and it drives her crazy that she has to balance her job with what she believes in (that women are not a reflection of what they where).

    I'm not looking forward to the day my daughter wants to go on a date wearing next to nothing. Because all of my feminist side is going to be screaming, you do, you, honey. While my mom side is screaming, no way in hell. (I've already had the conversation with my husband about how cleaning his gun when her boyfriends come to pick her up is not acceptable.)

    Married 6/4/11
    Reese born 3/23/13
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  • @PSUBecky23 every time we get the usual summertime "dress code" email at work I roll my eyes. We have a very lax dress code, meaning people come in in everything from workout clothes to business casual. But every year we get the email reminding people of no spaghetti straps, crop tops, short shorts, etc. No mention of tanks for dudes with the giant arm holes so you can see their nipples... Drives me a little nuts.

    And I feel you on being conflicted about daughter's future dressing. I want my girl to wear what she wants, but the world we live in is cruel and hard enough on women who dress "modestly." It's hard to strike a balance between being empowering and a mamas natural instinct to protect.
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  • I snissed so loud yesterday that for about 5 mins after I could feel the babe doing flips inside of me. My FFC is I've purposely been trying to sneeze loudly so I can feel the sensation again, but no luck :(. I'm convinced I have an anterior placenta (again) this time around bc movement has been in designated areas and very limited!
  • @drmh22 Aw, poor guy!  Though, I probably wouldn't have said anything either. I'm awkward enough in those situations without the other person doing it, too!
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  • @drmh22 -  I'm the mean jerk who would be like "what did you say? You calling me fat?!" Even if I was 9 months along. 
  • @PoodleDoodleOoo mine were so awful the other night I drove my entire family out of the room  :#
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  • I have yet to click on a HDBD thread. I lurk every thread except that one. I'm not sure why, I just haven't. 
  • AnnaS930 said:
    @PoodleDoodleOoo - I was just about to text my husband that I'm leaving early today too. Some days I have to leave at 3:15 to get my son at daycare instead of 5pm. I haven't had an early day like that in a couple of weeks, I think I'll pretend today is one of those days. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't tell him and I should go wander Target and do some other solo activities until my normal time...
    I've been the worst slacker too- and leaving early whenever I can. I just can't focus on work lol! I can't focus on anything non-baby related these days! And I totally love to go wander stores on my own too! :)


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  • No need to burn a bra to be a feminist, just teach your kids to respect each gender, see each other as equal human beings and to strive to make those around them do the same. Maybe then the negative connotation of the word will disappear and we'll just have people talking about fighting for equality instead of about feminazis. 


    I'd never burn my bra. Those f***ers are expensive.
    TRUTH! I pay way too much for mine to burn them!


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  • Guys, I'm so lazy today I can't even type full responses, but I am loving the feminism on here :) 

    My FFFC- I work with a woman who, any time I mention a pregnancy symptom, tries to outmatch what I'm feeling with something she's experiencing, and then she snarks at me for every little thing. My patience for her is in the negatives at the moment. I'm too tired and can't care. If I mention my back hurts so I'd rather not bend over to turn on the 10 damned players in this one art installation, she complains about how tired she is. I'm ready to snap!!!

    Also- been waiting for a promotion and increase at my main job and an increase at my part time job, both overdue, and neither is happening yet. Super frustrating. And the woman driving me nuts at my main job was saying today that she thinks my boss is going to rehire someone for her own spot in the next 5 years. Just, GRRRR


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  • @RedMar I'm fairly certain I've got an anterior placenta again as well. I'm feeling baby now, but it didn't happen much sooner than I felt DD and it's infrequent. Plus they had trouble with the doppler at my 16 week appt. I was really hoping for a posterior placenta so I could feel more this time, but what can you do? Honestly, once DD got bigger, the anterior placenta didn't seem to interfere with how much I could feel her. It just took until 28 weeks to get there.






  • My FFFC- I work with a woman who, any time I mention a pregnancy symptom, tries to outmatch what I'm feeling with something she's experiencing, and then she snarks at me for every little thing. My patience for her is in the negatives at the moment. I'm too tired and can't care. If I mention my back hurts so I'd rather not bend over to turn on the 10 damned players in this one art installation, she complains about how tired she is. I'm ready to snap!!!
    I HATE when other people do this! My husband does it all the time. Like, I know you're tired, too, but come on. I'm pregnant tired. That's a *little* different.

    That said, I guess my own FFFC is that I sometimes do this, too? Haha... I didn't realize it until I started getting annoyed at DH and he spun it back on me--and he was totally right. I'm a hypocritical jerk. *shrugs* But I still hold the pregnancy trump card for now! 
  • AnnaS930 said:
    @abberson - I think it's like many things, if we bring it up ourselves it's not such a big deal, but if someone else says it "How dare you?!"

    The state of Maine has an older population than many other states and seriously lacks diversity. We are also a state where a lot of people are born and raised here and never leave (lots of super rural areas). People lack an amount of world experience and broadening of horizons, which therefore leaves a lot of narrow-minded, uninformed people around.  You'll find a fair deal of pro-guns, anti-immigrations, confederate flags (like really? we are as Union as Union was), yadda yadda.  Luckily I live in a more populated area, which includes a very good liberal arts school, bringing a lot of fresh ideas and progressive thinking to my area. I am by far the most liberal thinker at my workplace.

    We are the south of the north, no denying it!
    Truth!



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  • I'm JUST catching up on all of this thread, so I'm quite late, but I just want to say I'm loving all of the feminism talk on here!! @runningisrad you're a woman after my own heart :) 

    I certainly and strongly consider myself a feminist, and it has only gotten stronger over time. Not the man-hating, bra-burning feminist of old time stereotypes, but the "I'm strong and independent and I don't need you to carry this for me just because I have a uterus" type. @AnnaS930 I grew up in Maine as well, so I know what you are talking about with many folks up there, but I've been in the Boston area for quite some time now and I find that I just fit really well down here with my socialist, feminist, liberal AF views!

    In fact, I was shopping for some little shoes for our pregnancy announcement recently, and the feminist in me was appalled that I could not find ANY sneakers except for in the little boys section of any store. We don't know the sex yet so I needed something that was pretty gender neutral, and sneakers were a must for our pic. In every baby boy section, there were sneakers, sports themed booties, etc, but in every girls section all I found were frilly pink ballet shoes and the like. I was actually ranting about it to so many of my friends they told me I should start a baby girl sneaker line to remedy the problem :) 
  • RedMarRedMar member
    edited April 2016
    I am also loving all of the feminist talk. I've experienced the "smile, you're so much prettier when you do" comment :|. It honestly makes the man out to be SUCH A CREEPER in my eyes. Get a life you dirty old bird.

    @camichael- with my son, I had an anterior placenta on the left side, but with this lo I believe it's on the right bc I've only been able to feel sensations on the lower left part of my abdomen. Anomaly scan this wednesay will be the tell-all. Im interested to see if that's the case for both of us.
  • edited April 2016
    @SLou24 the marketing for toys and clothes for children drives me insane, for both boys AND girls. Where are the little boys playin with Barbie on the boxes? (Actually they have started featuring boys in their ads, so kudos to them) Where are the girls' dresses with robots, dinosaurs, and superheroes (that AREN'T pink)? Where are the My Little Pony tops for boys? Technically, you could buy a MLP top in the girls section for your little boy if you really wanted to, but you catch my drift. My 6 year old girl loves Minecraft, and the only place I could find her a shirt was the boys' section.

    Gender stereotypes are forced on our kids so early and it drives me insane. And people who try and impose their expectations on my girl get massive side eye from me. My MIL LOVES that my daughter is into Barbies and makeup and clothes because those are "girly" things. Buuuuuut she's also into Minecraft, dinosaurs, wild animals, and shit like that. Sooooo... GTFO trying to shove her in your neat little gender box, lady. 
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  • @runningisrad I share the same frustrations for sure. My boy didn't get that girls and video games go together just fine until he was old enough to notice how consistently I can whoop he and his dad's ass (yeah, I should show them mercy but .. nah). I'm saddened that all social conditioning points him the other way, though. 

    As far as minecraft goes, have you guys looked into Telltale games' 'Minecraft Story Mode? The reading is a little advanced for my little dude but fortunately everything is voice acted and you can have a female protagonist. He loves it and he's probably on his third play through since story outcomes are partially based on your in-game decisions.
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  • @Thurstobertay ha ha! Love that you showed no mercy. Mom is a badass! And no I haven't seen that yet! That's awesome. We don't have a gaming console (yet), so she just plays the iPad version. But I think her big Christmas present this year will be an Xbox, she's been asking for one so she can play Minecraft on it.
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  • @schuberta yup, makes me NUTS!


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