Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
twinmommy-2
member
Re: Worn out...
We also have 4 month old twins and are struggling a bit with naps, but nothing as bad as you. Have you tried taking them for a drive or a long walk and letting them sleep for awhile in their car seats when they get too crazy? I've had a few times where I drove them around and then walked around Target for a couple of hours so they would nap. We've figured out if they don't nap enough during the day, then they go nuts on us in the early evening because they're so exhausted.
Most weekdays, I aim to get in 3 naps of 30-40 minutes each. It seems to me after a busy weekend of no routine, Mondays and Tuesdays are bad nap days and Wednesday we're back on track. So we've started to try to implement my nap routine into busy weekends as well, to keep it as standard as possible. This is a new idea so we've only done it one weekend and it made a difference that Monday.
How much are they eating at each feeding? We've always fed them together, whether one was still sleeping or not. We would wake the sleeping one by changing their diaper and feed them as well. I was warned at the beginning to always make them eat together or I'd never get any sleep at night. Some nights the tired one would barely eat, but it would save me from getting up in a other hour to feed them. Have you talked to your pediatrician about this? Ours was all about waking them up to eat and it seems to have worked out for us. Now for the most part, they get fussy at the same time and demand to be fed.
Right now our twins will go around 4 hours in between feedings. At night, they will sometimes go 5 or 6 hours before needing to be fed and then they go right back to sleep for 4 more hours. They rarely get fed staggered anymore and I like it that way. Their feedings and diaper changes now last only 20-30 minutes (depending on how distracted they get during) and it's great. Our son eats 5 oz and daughter is eating 4.5 most of the time, so they definitely have full bellies.
When is their 4 month appt? I would definitely bring all of this up with their pediatrician. You need more of a break or you'll completely lose it.
Naps were a nightmare. They would only sleep if they were being held. We would put them in their beds and just sit there with them, soothing them until they'd fall asleep. If they got hysterical, we'd do a temporary fix. We put them in their swings. We'd have them swing long enough to fall asleep, then shut the swings off so they didn't get used to moving constantly. They would sleep really well then. Next time, we'd go back to their beds again. We also would put their favorite toy with them so they could cuddle. As soon as they fell asleep, we took it away, so it would not be a suffocation issue. That seemed to help a lot in their cribs.
The other thing that we noticed a big change with was food! Before naps and before bed, we give them baby food and then milk. It fills them up and they sleep longer. Since your twins are 4 months old, you could do the same with rice cereal. Feed them cereal, then their bottles. It should help keep them fuller longer. It may even help with the reflux. I breastfeed mine, so I can't tell you how much they're getting, but they eat until they're full.
Yes, yes, yes! If one wakes to feed, wake the other. I've done that since day one. My girls synced pretty early and would sleep and eat at the same time. If you don't, you will go insane. You're always feeding one.
Here's my two cents. If you get the twins to sleep, take a nap yourself. House chores can wait. If momma gets run down and can't function, you're no good for your twins. You need to take care of yourself just as much as your babies.
If you need help, you should talk to your dh. Mine would have to get up by 7 am to get ready for work. He would still get up every time the twins did at night to help me out. Even now, if I'm having a really bad day or night, my dh sends me to bed early and handles the kids by himself. You're a team! You need to depend on each other.
I hope something clicks and things start getting better for you. Just remember, it will get better! It gets easier and easier. By 6 months, it was much much better! Keep us posted!
Are there any mom groups you can meet up with during the week? I go to one every week and I always feel way better afterwards. I hear about women having the same problems with only 1 baby and it's driving them crazy. We're doing it with 2! That's something to be proud of.
A few tips and tricks:
-always feed them together and only feed them at your decided mealtimes for them. This way they eat it all, they are hungry and you aren't feeding them all day long. Start your schedule early and they will follow along with it.
-when one wakes up, wake the other one within 10 minutes. We still do this and my kiddos are 1.5. Keeps them on the same schedule
-get a good sleep sack. I have always recommended the zipadee zip because it mimics the womb. My kiddos always loved but I know there are other great ones out there. Maybe try finding one that your kiddos like??
-I didn't see where you mentioned what time your kiddos go to bed at night but I think this is about the time I realized mine needed to go to sleep earlier. It sounds so silly, but the earlier they go to bed, the longer they sleep. Maybe give it a shot?
-get just a little bit of help. Look for a sitter for a couple of hours per week so you can get some rest or take a break. You deserve it.
Good luck!!
So it definitely is possible! I think it's a good idea to talk to your dh. I'm sure he doesn't know just how overwhelmed you feel.
Bedtime has actually gotten a lot better! Putting them back in their sleep sacks seemed to do the trick
I talked to their pediatrician about nap time and she said all babies are different. Some take cat naps and others will sleep 2 hours. I'll just pray that someday they'll want to sleep a little longer.