Multiples
twinmommy-2
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Worn out...
twinmommy-2
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Our twins are 4 months old.
My husband and I have no family and moved during my pregnancy, so we have no friends either.
I knew I couldn't go back to work after they were born because we have no help at all. I enjoy taking care of them, but I'm so exhausted.
I've spent every day with them since birth. (Also carried them for 9 months! lol)
They wake up every 3 hours at night and only take 30 minute naps during the day.
For their daytime feedings I put them in their bouncers and feed them at the same time, but they wake up at different times during the night so I feed them separately and can't get any sleep. I only have my husband help if he has the next day off.
When they take their naps I'm busy with housework, then they wake up and I change diapers, play and feed.
I'm trying to sleep train them, but CIO isn't working.
I give them a bath, feed and put them in their crib while they're drowsy. If I'm lucky they sleep for a half an hour, but then all hell breaks loose. One will eventually stop crying, but the other gets hysterical and hyperventilates. The only way they'll sleep is if I wait for them to wake up after 30 minutes and then feed them another ounce. Or hold them, which I really don't want to do because they need to learn...
I guess my question is how do I get them to take longer naps during the day and sleep through the night?
I love them so much and love spending time with them but this exhaustion and stress is killing me!
Re: Worn out...
We also have 4 month old twins and are struggling a bit with naps, but nothing as bad as you. Have you tried taking them for a drive or a long walk and letting them sleep for awhile in their car seats when they get too crazy? I've had a few times where I drove them around and then walked around Target for a couple of hours so they would nap. We've figured out if they don't nap enough during the day, then they go nuts on us in the early evening because they're so exhausted.
Most weekdays, I aim to get in 3 naps of 30-40 minutes each. It seems to me after a busy weekend of no routine, Mondays and Tuesdays are bad nap days and Wednesday we're back on track. So we've started to try to implement my nap routine into busy weekends as well, to keep it as standard as possible. This is a new idea so we've only done it one weekend and it made a difference that Monday.
How much are they eating at each feeding? We've always fed them together, whether one was still sleeping or not. We would wake the sleeping one by changing their diaper and feed them as well. I was warned at the beginning to always make them eat together or I'd never get any sleep at night. Some nights the tired one would barely eat, but it would save me from getting up in a other hour to feed them. Have you talked to your pediatrician about this? Ours was all about waking them up to eat and it seems to have worked out for us. Now for the most part, they get fussy at the same time and demand to be fed.
Right now our twins will go around 4 hours in between feedings. At night, they will sometimes go 5 or 6 hours before needing to be fed and then they go right back to sleep for 4 more hours. They rarely get fed staggered anymore and I like it that way. Their feedings and diaper changes now last only 20-30 minutes (depending on how distracted they get during) and it's great. Our son eats 5 oz and daughter is eating 4.5 most of the time, so they definitely have full bellies.
When is their 4 month appt? I would definitely bring all of this up with their pediatrician. You need more of a break or you'll completely lose it.
Naps were a nightmare. They would only sleep if they were being held. We would put them in their beds and just sit there with them, soothing them until they'd fall asleep. If they got hysterical, we'd do a temporary fix. We put them in their swings. We'd have them swing long enough to fall asleep, then shut the swings off so they didn't get used to moving constantly. They would sleep really well then. Next time, we'd go back to their beds again. We also would put their favorite toy with them so they could cuddle. As soon as they fell asleep, we took it away, so it would not be a suffocation issue. That seemed to help a lot in their cribs.
The other thing that we noticed a big change with was food! Before naps and before bed, we give them baby food and then milk. It fills them up and they sleep longer. Since your twins are 4 months old, you could do the same with rice cereal. Feed them cereal, then their bottles. It should help keep them fuller longer. It may even help with the reflux. I breastfeed mine, so I can't tell you how much they're getting, but they eat until they're full.
Yes, yes, yes! If one wakes to feed, wake the other. I've done that since day one. My girls synced pretty early and would sleep and eat at the same time. If you don't, you will go insane. You're always feeding one.
Here's my two cents. If you get the twins to sleep, take a nap yourself. House chores can wait. If momma gets run down and can't function, you're no good for your twins. You need to take care of yourself just as much as your babies.
If you need help, you should talk to your dh. Mine would have to get up by 7 am to get ready for work. He would still get up every time the twins did at night to help me out. Even now, if I'm having a really bad day or night, my dh sends me to bed early and handles the kids by himself. You're a team! You need to depend on each other.
I hope something clicks and things start getting better for you. Just remember, it will get better! It gets easier and easier. By 6 months, it was much much better! Keep us posted!
Are there any mom groups you can meet up with during the week? I go to one every week and I always feel way better afterwards. I hear about women having the same problems with only 1 baby and it's driving them crazy. We're doing it with 2! That's something to be proud of.
A few tips and tricks:
-always feed them together and only feed them at your decided mealtimes for them. This way they eat it all, they are hungry and you aren't feeding them all day long. Start your schedule early and they will follow along with it.
-when one wakes up, wake the other one within 10 minutes. We still do this and my kiddos are 1.5. Keeps them on the same schedule
-get a good sleep sack. I have always recommended the zipadee zip because it mimics the womb. My kiddos always loved but I know there are other great ones out there. Maybe try finding one that your kiddos like??
-I didn't see where you mentioned what time your kiddos go to bed at night but I think this is about the time I realized mine needed to go to sleep earlier. It sounds so silly, but the earlier they go to bed, the longer they sleep. Maybe give it a shot?
-get just a little bit of help. Look for a sitter for a couple of hours per week so you can get some rest or take a break. You deserve it.
Good luck!!
So it definitely is possible! I think it's a good idea to talk to your dh. I'm sure he doesn't know just how overwhelmed you feel.
Bedtime has actually gotten a lot better! Putting them back in their sleep sacks seemed to do the trick
I talked to their pediatrician about nap time and she said all babies are different. Some take cat naps and others will sleep 2 hours. I'll just pray that someday they'll want to sleep a little longer.