Mommas with toddlers

krluvsjh · April 2016

I hope it is okay to start a discussion post for those of us that are pregnant while raising toddlers. How are you doing it? I am 4 weeks today and already feeling very low energy and lots of bouts of nausea.

Also, are your symptoms the same this time around? My breasts are definitely less full and less sore this time around, but I still have burning and zingers every once in a while. I am nauseous earlier this time, I think, and a very heightened sense of smell. Also, lots of light pinching and stretching feelings around my cervix.

MamaWino · April 2016

I have a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old. Being pregnant with toddlers is not easy. My poor kids have been watching way more TV than they ever have because I'm so exhausted. Just do what you can, Mama, and don't feel guilty if you can't get down on the floor and play as much as you used to. It's all about survival

My symptoms have been different each pregnancy. Most noticeable this time is cramping, heightened sense of smell, exhaustion and insomnia. My nausea isn't nearly as bad as it was with my girls and my boobs are only mildly sore... with DD1 I couldn't touch them they hurt so bad and with DD2 they didn't hurt at all.

trinidad1112 · April 2016

This my fourth, my kids are 7,6, and 2. I feel you on the being tired but I believe it gets better and your energy comes back soon. It's hard to remember. My oldest was 9 months old when we got pregnant. My husband ended up taking the parenting lead with him for a while and they are still very close because of it. Not a bad thing, do whatever you need to do to push through this time. Ask for help, hire help, nap. My symptoms seem to be different with every child, I don't think there is any rhyme or reason and trying to decode everything just makes me crazy. I'm trying to just let it all happen this time and I will ideally sit back, observe, and soak up my last pregnancy. Ideally.

SchruteBucks · April 2016

I have a three year old (as well as an 11 year old and 14 year old). I also run an in-home childcare and have a one-year-old, two-year-old, my three-year-old and three five-year-olds from 7 am until 5 pm M-F. I am definitely exhausted by the end of the day. I look forward to naptime every day (which is when I get on the Bump) and can sit down and put my feet up for a little bit before the chaos and noise begin again!

ShalomAtHome · April 2016

I have a 2 year old. The best way to get through it is by giving yourself grace. Poor kid watches significantly more tv than previously allowed, and I don't play with him as much as I used to, which really makes me sad. But I am surviving and so is he, and I tend to direct his attention to things like reading books (which we already did TONS of) and playing in an area where I can lay on the floor or couch while interacting with him to tame the exhaustion.

ShalomAtHome · April 2016

On a slightly different subject but still having to do with parents who already have kids...

My son and I are incredibly close. We have our own little world and a very strong bond. I am incredibly excited for a new baby and it's something we really wanted, and I hated the idea of my son being an only child. But at the same time there's a little (er maybe it isn't all that little) part in me that stings and gets me teary eyed when I think that someone new is coming into our lives and that he has to share my affection and I have to share his. It's so odd because it's a mix of the same thrill and excitement we had the first time around, but at the same time I feel a little sad that what I have with my son is going to shift.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Did anyone else at some point? If so, how was it introducing a new person into the mix?

Am I crazy?

SchruteBucks · April 2016

@ShalomAtHome You're not crazy. I felt the same way when I went from one to two kids. I cried for the loss of that one on one time with my first child that would be over. I cried for how much her world was going to change and what she might feel about it. I also cried for the baby on the way because we would never get those three years of one on one time together. Going from one to two is very exciting but also full of many different mixed emotions and feelings.

trinidad1112 · April 2016

I agree, I felt the same way going from one to two. I was afraid I wouldn't like the second baby because I was so obsessed with the first. Your heart makes room, now I'm obsessed with multiple little people.

ShalomAtHome · April 2016

@SchruteBucks @trinidad1112 ...It's nice to know I'm not crazy. I know things will be wonderful, but right now I'm a mix of emotions and it's something people never really talked about when having multiple kids.

Gizmo1231 · April 2016

Worried about how things will change eventually but I'm feeling pretty good right now. My DS is 19 months and SD is 11. I do have way more breakouts now than I did with DS.
I totally feel you ladies on the excitement of the new baby but worried how it will change the little work DS and I have created.

H4aPartyof5 · April 2016

This will be our third, and my symptoms have been different with each pregnancy. With our first, morning sickness and breast tenderness were my primary symptoms, and with our second, I had morning sickness and was completely exhausted through a lot of the first trimester. I literally could not stay awake after 4:00 during most of the first trimester with our DS2, and DH had to pick up a lot of slack around the house and taking care of DS1. This pregnancy, I have virtually no symptoms yet at all - occasional fatigue, stomach/digestive qualms, and minor cramping - nothing that really hinders my day to day life. I stay at home with our boys, so my plan is to nap when they nap (if I need it) and lean more on my DH if I get too tired later down the road...hopefully, that won't be necessary.

As for the transition of moving from one to two, I think that it's only natural to worry a bit about how everyone (parents and child) will handle the transition. I remember being nervous about how DS1 would take going from an only to a sibling, especially since he was pretty young at the time (21 months when DS2 was born). Would he feel left out? How would he react when I needed to take care of the baby and couldn't help him immediately? Fortunately for us, adding his little brother to the mix ended up not really phasing DS1 at all - he's a pretty laid back kid and just ignored DS2 completely for about 6 months. The only times he really was upset about it was on car rides when DS2 cried - he could not take it and would start crying as well. Now that they're both older, sharing their toys can be a challenge, but for the most part, it's been wonderful to see their sibling bond grow with time.

Samanthapohaku · April 2016

I am definitely feeling this too! I have a 2.5 year old and we are so close, she is such a mama's girl. We are all very excited about the new baby but I am feeling nervous about how much her life is going to change. I'm also worried about comparing this baby too much to her because of course she is perfect

I'm not feeling too tired yet, but I am not looking forward to that kicking in!

Symptoms I think have been a little different - sharp pains near the cervix which I don't remember having last time. And super hungry which it seems a little early for?

ashcakes921 · April 2016

My moodiness has given me a short temper towards my daughter. Shes one and half and I cant even explain that mommy loves her but is tired and cranky haha

krluvsjh · April 2016

Hats off to you!!

DiFazette · April 2016

It's going good so far! DS will be 3 this month and he's consistently described as 'active'. He keeps me really busy and I don't have time to feel exhausted until he stops. When he's home with me during the week I nap when he naps. It's glorious.

Symptoms are the same as with DS, but it's super early yet. Today I got an uncomfortable twinge when I was holding him, I didn't like that. I'm not ready to stop carrying him. Out of necessity or want.

I also worry about my bond with DS. I've been home with him at least a good amount of time all of his life. He's my special little buddy. I also realize that the gift of a sibling is greater than getting all of the love. I just hope he doesn't ever feel less loved than he does today.

*** edited because the bump ate 80% of my post***

jdarlinghunt · April 2016

I have a 14 month old. They will be 22 months apart and I'm freaking a bit. So excited but definitely freaking. Lol. My daughter is such a sweet little baby that she'll be fine. We started trying due to so many people around us having difficulty getting pregnant. I was worried and figured we should start sooner than later. It took one time. Haha! I do feel a bit sad in a way for my daughter. It's been all about her and I know we can love all of our children but she's my life!!

MamaWino · April 2016

H4aPartyof5 said:

As for the transition of moving from one to two, I think that it's only natural to worry a bit about how everyone (parents and child) will handle the transition. I remember being nervous about how DS1 would take going from an only to a sibling, especially since he was pretty young at the time (21 months when DS2 was born). Would he feel left out? How would he react when I needed to take care of the baby and couldn't help him immediately? Fortunately for us, adding his little brother to the mix ended up not really phasing DS1 at all - he's a pretty laid back kid and just ignored DS2 completely for about 6 months. The only times he really was upset about it was on car rides when DS2 cried - he could not take it and would start crying as well. Now that they're both older, sharing their toys can be a challenge, but for the most part, it's been wonderful to see their sibling bond grow with time.

This. My oldest was only 17 months old when her sister was born so she was practically a baby herself. She completely ignored her sister for about 6 months and the change didn't seem to affect her at all. She still loves me just the same

And now at 2 and 3 1/2 they're best friends. Giving your child a sibling is such an incredible gift.

nove1198 · April 2016

This will (hopefully) be our 3rd child. My first pregnancy, I had major food aversions/no appetite coupled with dry heaving and SORE boobs. I was still minimally nursing DD1 when I got pregnant with DD2, and dealt with dry heaving/nausea unless I ate something highly caloric every 2 hours, some twingy aches in the boobs, and unreal, unholy amounts of exhaustion. This time, I have been feeling pretty great. Heightened sense of smell has been my biggest symptom. Nausea doesn't usually kick in for me until 6 weeks, so I'm guessing the dry heaving is around the corner. I am still nursing 13 month old DD2, so no sore boobs so far. I've been doing some light yoga workouts every day as well as drinking a nutritional shake, which I think has substantially helped my energy levels.

I was incredibly emotional with the move from one to two. DD1 turned 3 right before DD2 was born, and she handled the transition beautifully and they have incredible love for each other now. I'm worrying about DD2's reaction to this baby - she'll be just shy of 22 months when this one is born. I can't use quite the same 'preparing' tactics that I used with DD1. I'm also emotional about my milk supply drying up - I love nursing, and love the bond I have with DD2. I'm hopeful to tandem nurse if DD2 doesn't self-wean.

krluvsjh · April 2016

@nove1198My DD will be about the same age as your first when this baby arrives. What did you do to prepare her? I would love any tips.

washyourhandsplease · April 2016

My littlest one just turned 7 months today and I also have a 2 year old. I'm currently not experiencing any symptoms except for a little cramping and bloat. However, it will be interesting to see when I do. I had really bad morning sickness with my other pregnancies. Also, I could barely stay awake during the early part of my pregnancies.

abrandt31 · April 2016

DS is 4 1/2 and I am definitely worried too about the jump from him being an only to having a sibling. So far I think my symptoms are pretty much the same this time around. Very tired, some nausea, super sore boobies and lots of bloating.

brite12 · April 2016

@washyourhandsplease my son just turned 7 months and I found out I'm pregnant a few days ago. I am totally freaking out, actually getting depressed, my temper is short, I'm getting irritated/annoyed more easily. I feel sad that I may have ruined his infancy being pregnant and now going to be caring for a new born soon. I feel like a bad mother and totally irresponsible for getting pregnant while DS is so young. On top if it all I feel guilty for feeling like this. I just want to cry.

sbarrettphoto · April 2016

I've got an almost two year old. I have definitely had bouts of nausea and have resorted to his favorite TV shows when I can do nothing but lay vertically. Thankfully it's not everyday! I have found that being outside helps me loads, so I have been trying to spend as much time outside as possible. Of course he enjoys that as well so it works great until it's rainy.

nove1198 · April 2016

krluvsjh said:

@nove1198My DD will be about the same age as your first when this baby arrives. What did you do to prepare her? I would love any tips.

@krluvsjh - DD1 is and always has been very verbal, so we talked through almost every aspect of me growing a new baby and her becoming a big sister - multiple times! She came to nearly every appointment, we read books about becoming a big sister, and she also had a few friends who gained siblings a few months before she did, so we talked about that too. The hardest thing for her was that DD2 was not big enough to play for a loooooong time. We still have to remind her that DD2 can't do imaginative play yet. I emphasized that DD1 was a big girl, but I didn't push it if she tried to be a 'baby' again. Usually a quick snuggle and the reassurance that she would always be my baby helped. Really, the biggest thing we did was talk talk talk. Any question she had, I answered as best I could.

MamaWino · April 2016

brite12 said:

@washyourhandsplease my son just turned 7 months and I found out I'm pregnant a few days ago. I am totally freaking out, actually getting depressed, my temper is short, I'm getting irritated/annoyed more easily. I feel sad that I may have ruined his infancy being pregnant and now going to be caring for a new born soon. I feel like a bad mother and totally irresponsible for getting pregnant while DS is so young. On top if it all I feel guilty for feeling like this. I just want to cry.

My oldest daughter was 8 months old when I got pregnant with 2.0 so I understand what you're feeling. You are absolutely not ruining his infancy, I promise! It's definitely hard to be pregnant while caring for a baby and the first few months after baby's birth will be tough but it's so worth it in the end. I was terrified of having kids so close in age but now that they're a little older (2 and almost 3 1/2) it's so great... they're best friends and DD1 is still the the same happy kid she always was so having a baby when she was still a baby didn't affect her at all. Big hugs, Mama... it'll all work out!

Sugargirl1019 · April 2016

My sister and I are 18 months apart, so I was 9 months when my mom got pregnant again. I never knew a difference. I LOVE having a sister that close in age. I think my mom preferred it after awhile too because we played with each other and left my mom alone. Don't feel bad about taking away from LOs infancy years due to divided attention! I hope to have babies that close in age.

tarleton05 · April 2016

My 2nd and 3rd are 12 months apart! I felt the same way but now that they are 2 and 3, I'm starting to see them become friends and share this special bond. They get to grow up together, learn together, and will be best friends. It is hard at first, I'm not going to lie (emotionally and physically), but you will get use to it and you will see all of these great things! You aren't stealing his infancy, he's just sharing it and has someone to go through it and learn with!

slartybartfast · April 2016

I've got a 1 year old who is now toddling around. If this pregnancy is similar to the last one, I will be very very sick for a long time. DH is awesome but may be out of town for a couple months right when I was the sickest last time.

I'm getting tired just thinking about all this.

ETA: dangit can anyone help me out with my ticker issues?

lukesliebe · April 2016

As is evidenced by my ticker, I have quite a few toddlers/preschoolers running around my house! My middle two are only 15 months apart and although they do argue like siblings they are inseparable. The older one watches out for the younger one and the younger one comes up with all the great ideas! Sometimes you get to teach the same milestone to both kids at once! Like potty training).You're not stealing his infancy and you shouldn't feel guilty for getting pregnant so quickly after the first. It's just another wonderful aspect of motherhood.

Jennys9 · April 2016

ShalomAtHome said:

On a slightly different subject but still having to do with parents who already have kids...

My son and I are incredibly close. We have our own little world and a very strong bond. I am incredibly excited for a new baby and it's something we really wanted, and I hated the idea of my son being an only child. But at the same time there's a little (er maybe it isn't all that little) part in me that stings and gets me teary eyed when I think that someone new is coming into our lives and that he has to share my affection and I have to share his. It's so odd because it's a mix of the same thrill and excitement we had the first time around, but at the same time I feel a little sad that what I have with my son is going to shift.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Did anyone else at some point? If so, how was it introducing a new person into the mix?

Am I crazy?

I completely adore my son. He's 21 months old and the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm a SAHM, my husband travels overnight every week, so I am also used to it being him and I in our own little world. Plus, I'm still breastfeeding, so I feel a bit guilty that I'm going to have to wean him down and bf another little one.

My friends said something that made me feel so good, though: you're giving your son the best gift in the whole world, a little brother or sister to love! He's going to gain something beautiful out of this!

JulieSmiles · April 2016

My DD is 22 months, almost 2! I'm exhausted and nauseated a lot of evenings. I'm trying to do as much as I can when it is just me and her. Once DH gets home, I pass off the responsibility and he gets it for the hour before she goes to bed. I've been trying to get her to play with toys instead of climb on me nonstop, but it doesn't work.
I think she will be an awesome sister. I'm so excited to see how she is with a baby. I think adjusting to not being our only focus will be hard for a bit, but I think she will adjust.

ShalomAtHome · April 2016

Jennys9 said
My friends said something that made me feel so good, though: you're giving your son the best gift in the whole world, a little brother or sister to love! He's going to gain something beautiful out of this!

Okay, that is really good to hear. I guess in a way that's what I've been telling myself, but it's nice to hear it worded that way.

JSwinford · April 2016

My 16 month old is getting her molars right now and I'm exhausted and the "omg do I really want to do this again" thoughts have crossed my mind. I'm just as exhausted the second time around.

bb3babe · April 2016

Soooo resonating with this thread - I'm right there with you. Short temper, no energy, house is so messy. I have a one & a three yr old. Babe 3.0 was planned and we are overjoyed, yet sometimes find myself wondering - what was I thinking!? Had a mini meltdown this afternoon after I raised my voice at them, ugggg, felt so much shame. This part is so hard - we need to give ourselves grace

blessdtxas · April 2016

I'm so relieved to read this thread! We just found out that we are expecting baby #2. I feel guilty because I am overwhelmed & shocked more than anything. Baby 2 wasn't planned and all I keep thinking is sh*t, how did this happen!? God's plans are not our own! ha! I have a 16 mo son who I completely adore. We practice attachment parenting, so we bedshare and are still breastfeeding (&nursing through the night) plus I work full time. The thought of sharing myself with another human sounds frightening &impossible. How on earth will it work? How will I love another person this much? How will my son adjust to having another person to share mama and dada with? How will bedtime/sleeping work? Will I ever sleep again?

Hopefully my brain will make sense of all of this news soon. I'm excited to have some other mamas to talk about our little loves with!

missjen08 · April 2016

I have a 23 mo old and a 9 month old. I was very sick with both of them, but this time I'm feeling pretty good! The nausea might come in a week or two though. I did have a hard time coping and keeping up with my oldest last time around. My best piece of advise is to accept right now that the house will be messy. Keep extra easy Mac in the house. Take naps. Its crunch time and time to pamper yourself and give yourself a break. When you get a spurt of energy, use it, but don't overdo it. Accept help. If you decide now that your priority is health and helping your toddler understand what's going on, you'll feel less guilty with a messy house and cereal for dinner. Its okay momma, growing babies is a full time job in itself.

missjen08 · April 2016

I was scared that I could never love my second as much as my first. But when my second was born, the attachment was just as strong. All at once I learned and accepted that they are two different people and I love them equally as much but differently. And that's okay! I connect to them in different ways because we have different relationships. I had more alone time with my first. She was my buddy and we did everything together even getting my nails done when she was 4 mo. she just sat on my lap! My second is a lot more restless and fussy, but she also has a personality just like mine so I understand her. The rest will work itself out. Just know that they won't be the same, your relationship won't be the exact same, you'll probably learn that some things aren't as important as you thought they were the first time around, but its all okay! You've done this before, so youre a pro! Diapers are a breeze now! And youre giving your oldest a friend for life, what an awesome gift!

bb3babe · April 2016

@missjen08 I'm just going to screenshot that and keep it handy - haha. Such a wise reminder! ☺️

ashcakes921 · April 2016

Man oh man, I keep thinking of how I don't remember feeling so sick with my first. This nausea is unreal! But I got to see DD interact with a 3 month old baby last night and it was precious

ShalomAtHome · April 2016

A very real confession:
I threw some blankets over chairs to make a fort so I could look and feel like a fun loving mom while also crawling in and dozing while my 2yo played quietly next to me.

ShariAllison · April 2016

ShalomAtHome said:

On a slightly different subject but still having to do with parents who already have kids...

My son and I are incredibly close. We have our own little world and a very strong bond. I am incredibly excited for a new baby and it's something we really wanted, and I hated the idea of my son being an only child. But at the same time there's a little (er maybe it isn't all that little) part in me that stings and gets me teary eyed when I think that someone new is coming into our lives and that he has to share my affection and I have to share his. It's so odd because it's a mix of the same thrill and excitement we had the first time around, but at the same time I feel a little sad that what I have with my son is going to shift.

Am I the only one who feels this way? Did anyone else at some point? If so, how was it introducing a new person into the mix?

Am I crazy?

I feel EXACTLY the same way!! My son and I are SO close. He is 3 now and I stay home with him, so we are best friends. I hope it doesn't effect anything.

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