The guy I've been training for over a month now to cover for me on maternity leave had something important due to me this morning. Our director called him out on a mistake last week, so I told him to be sure this week that he really makes sure to not do it again. So, I open the file, and what's the first thing I see? The exact. same. mistake.
I just started crying at my desk. I do not know how to help this guy anymore than I have been. I've been working OT making notes and steps for him. Following up with him. The works. And now it looks like he may get fired, and I've put in so much time and effort with him. I just want him to get it, or it'll all have been a waste. I'm so frustrated. I just don't understand how if the director of the company you work for specifically calls a mistake out to you, and I remind him yesterday to not make the same mistake again, then how does he then still make it? HOW?! It's literally typing a comment in a spreadsheet that says you adjusted a number up or down. All that's needed is to correctly identify if you adjusted a number up or down. This isn't hard! If you changed a number to 30 from 10, then you adjusted it up, not down. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
Had my first real meltdown today, thanks to my OB's receptionist making an apparent mistake. When I set my next appointment, I specifically said "Tuesday, April 12th, right?" She said "Right." I get the confirmation text and of course it says April 5th. I had to take off a half day for this appointment, and I DIDN'T ask off for the 5th! I sent a text to cancel, but of course they send these confirmations outside of their normal office hours, and there is no option for me to leave a message about scheduling.
Fortunately my assistant principal was cool with me having to potentially change my request off as she hadn't submitted for a substitute, yet, but before I heard from her I lost it.
I slept horrible last night, substitute plans are hanging over my head, I'm completely over dealing with any consistent student behavior issues, and I feel like I'm dropping the ball of everything, especially at work.
As long as my sub plans are in order, the last few weeks I have before maternity leave better fly by. I'm done.
Had my first real meltdown today, thanks to my OB's receptionist making an apparent mistake. When I set my next appointment, I specifically said "Tuesday, April 12th, right?" She said "Right." I get the confirmation text and of course it says April 5th. I had to take off a half day for this appointment, and I DIDN'T ask off for the 5th! I sent a text to cancel, but of course they send these confirmations outside of their normal office hours, and there is no option for me to leave a message about scheduling.
Fortunately my assistant principal was cool with me having to potentially change my request off as she hadn't submitted for a substitute, yet, but before I heard from her I lost it.
I slept horrible last night, substitute plans are hanging over my head, I'm completely over dealing with any consistent student behavior issues, and I feel like I'm dropping the ball of everything, especially at work.
As long as my sub plans are in order, the last few weeks I have before maternity leave better fly by. I'm done.
People don't really get that teachers can't just take a day off. My midwife tried to have me reschedule an appointment for the next day since I was 10 minutes late and I just looked at her and said "I'm a teacher and I got a sub for today, not tomorrow".
I had one tonight. I'm sick and super miserable so I went to Minuteclinic to be seen. Got there at 5:40. They wouldn't see me because they close at 6pm. Which gave them 20 minutes to see me!! There is a sign that says you have to be signed in 15 minutes before they close...yup, so what's the problem? They said "we shut the kiosk down a little early today because we saw so many patients today." What the actual fuck? I'm clearly pregnant, and clearly miserable, congested, I look like poop on toast. But definitely turn me away so you knock off 20 minutes early. So I left the store and cried all the way home.
I know exactly how you feel and I'm so sorry! I always feel like crying when I'm turned away. I remember crying after being turned away at the DMV 3 days in a row for not having enough paperwork or whatnot (long story-it's very hard to have your license changed when you move to a different state and got married in the same week).
And then today I had a total breakdown over my crib from target. I was so excited to finally pick it up with DH and put it together. It's kind of the last thing we really need before LO comes and I've been stressed about not having a crib yet with only 4 weeks left til my DD. So we pick it up, bring it home, I tear open the box and pull each piece out only to realize that the hardware pouch with all the necessary screws and tools is missing. I then spend another 30 minutes in complete denial while rummaging through all the packaging and pieces to be extra sure that it's really missing. Then I just went on a total temper tantrum, which pretty much never happens. Crying? Sure, I cry when I'm disappointed in situations like this. Yelling while sobbing and kicking the stupid crib box while my poor husband is trying and failing to calm me down? Never. I felt so bad and apologized profusely later but I just couldn't stop myself at the time. It's like hormones took over my body and decided that this injustice from the crib manufacturers was the worst crime ever committed against me. I didn't calm down until after I had angrily put all the crib pieces and packaging back in the box, taped it up and kicked the box a couple more times.
I've ugly cried at least once the past 3 days. After breaking my foot, I have to wear a boot and get around on a scooter so I don't put weight on it. Work has really sucked, and it's only been 2 days, because it's mostly physically demanding (I work in a laboratory). I feel like I'm going to bust my face at any minute and I feel like a nuisance to my coworkers when I'm suppose to be helping them. My scooter is in the way of everything.
That, and all the nicknames and comments I keep getting from people. I know they're joking but it's not funny to me because I'd rather NOT have this in the homestretch. I just wanna say a big STFU to everyone who has said something.
On top of that, all this bad luck has been happening to DH and me. We saw yesterday that someone did a hit and run on our car in the parking deck, so now we have a huge dent on our brand new 2016 SVU...
Not to mention, I'm staying at my parent's house so they can help me during this time. My mom has helped but not without snarky remarks and being a straight up B, like I'm being a burden. I am going insane. I want OUT. I would rather climb my house stairs 9 months pregnant to go shower and live in my living room than stay at that their damn house any longer, just because it's one story.
Also, for some reason, I keep seeing stillborn stories and late losses and it's freaking. me. out.
My LO is moving a ton and I'm scared I'm going to wake up one day and he won't be moving. It's completely irrational but I can't help my anxiety.
I never thought the emotions would get to me, but they are. I feel like I have no one to lean on but DH and I'm scared to death I'm going to have PPD.
Many hugs to you @tgortney - that is a lot of crappy things happening at once, even without people being jerks to you. Especially your mom! Has your dad been any better? Or is DH staying with you?
My dad has been pretty supportive, he definitely helps without complaints or questions.
My mom, on the otherhand, has a problem with thinking she's joking but it really hurts feelings or comes off as rude. Unfortunately, when you try to tell her that she's being rude and hurting feelings, she gets defensive because it's only a joke in her eyes so your feelings shouldn't be hurt. Therefore, I've just given up. Strangely, that's how she ruined our pregnancy announcement surprise for them. Which I still resent her for that.
DH is staying with me or else, I probably would have ran away by now. Or rode my scooter back to my house since it's my right foot and I can't drive
I'm having a slow breakdown on my last week of work. I'm tired of people commenting on my size (from "you know you've dropped" to "oh dress isn't fitting quite right anymore!"), I'm tired of walking around (and then getting comments from my principal that I'm sitting at my desk a lot...I'm pregnant). I'm tired of the one hour drive and having to be up at 5:15am to get to school on time, I'm tired of parents thinking it's my fault for their kid having a bad attitude, and I'm tired of the changing benchmarks making it seem like my kids who made huge gains didn't actually make any progress.
Then I drive an hour home and my house is a mess because all I do is come home and crash because by the end of the day my hips are killing me and I'm too tired to do anything but sleep. This is the longest week ever. I'm ready to be on leave and just start snuggling with my new baby.
I'm having a slow breakdown on my last week of work. I'm tired of people commenting on my size (from "you know you've dropped" to "oh dress isn't fitting quite right anymore!"), I'm tired of walking around (and then getting comments from my principal that I'm sitting at my desk a lot...I'm pregnant). I'm tired of the one hour drive and having to be up at 5:15am to get to school on time, I'm tired of parents thinking it's my fault for their kid having a bad attitude, and I'm tired of the changing benchmarks making it seem like my kids who made huge gains didn't actually make any progress.
Then I drive an hour home and my house is a mess because all I do is come home and crash because by the end of the day my hips are killing me and I'm too tired to do anything but sleep. This is the longest week ever. I'm ready to be on leave and just start snuggling with my new baby.
I am sending you so many creepy internet hugs right now! Just keep repeating "Only ____ more days". That's how I am getting through. I even took a mental health day on Monday and it is STILL the longest week EVER! Give yourself permission to nap and take it easy. People always underestimate how exhausting it is to work in a school even if you are "just sitting at your desk". The stress of dealing with parents and kids and administrators and coworkers and deadlines and curricula and preparing for a sub and commuting...it really wipes you out! When it gets really bad in my office, I close my eyes and imagine what my little girl will look like and rub my belly and focus in on her kicks and movements. Then, when the next sh*t storm flies my way, I just think of how wonderful it will be to be with my new baby. Even if it feels like forever, the time will come when you get to devote all your time and love to your new little bundle without worrying about crap at work. Just hang in there, mama!
@LadySamLady I meant to say thank you so long ago, and realized I didn't. Thank you so much for your perspective and how you got through it. It was incredibly helpful, and something I'm talking with my DH to help me remember that I can talk to someone, they should also talk to someone-- it doesn't have to fall all on me.
@laurenmdrn16 thank you for your creepy internet hugs! A parent gave me a present today (she had a baby a week ago) and it revitalized me, like there was someone who understood what I was feeling!
I had a break down last night because SO was moody after work.. which made me moody.. and I was so sore and swollen I wanted him to rub my feet.. instead he falls asleep.. I start crying... turn the TV on and he wakes up to the TV and went to sleep in the spare room.... -_- Just love having those 'off' nights.
@laurenmdrn16 thank you for your creepy internet hugs! A parent gave me a present today (she had a baby a week ago) and it revitalized me, like there was someone who understood what I was feeling!
I had an awesome interaction with a parent today too! She is the mother of one of my diabetics and we have constant contact since her son's blood sugar started off being pretty unpredictable and fragile at the beginning of the school year, but has since evened out. Anyways, she came by to see how I was doing and kept going on and on about how I was glowing and just look so beautiful. She also asked about the sub issue and I got a little emotional talking about how it has kind of fallen apart. She said "Oh, you should've called me. I am going to talk to your nurse leader. This shouldn't all be on you. And as a parent, I can raise quite a stink!" and she winked (she is actually super cool and doesn't go off like most parents of medically involved kids). I called her today because her son went a little low after gym, but bumped right back up and to let her know how proud I am of his science fair project (he did it on diabetes and I actually got choked up when he showed his medical alert pendant and said "I used to be embarrassed to wear this, but Nurse Lauren told me how important it is and that it could help save my life and that I don't need to be embarrassed to talk about diabetes. I could help someone else by talking about it and that is cool."). She said "I can't tell you how much it means to me that you care so deeply about my son. In fact, that was the main thing I talked to your nurse leader about today. I know you are super busy so maybe we can talk more about it tomorrow morning? But I want you to know that we are so on the same team and I really appreciate what an incredible nurse you are." Yeah, water works! Sometimes just that one interaction can pull you right through.
I have the most miserable cubicle mate EVER. She was out yesterday and it was glorious. I get to work today and see her car in the parking lot and burst into tears! I'm insane, I know. I just wanted to turn back around and go home.
Haha this makes me feel not so crazy!! I got a new cube mate a month ago and Every. Single. Morning. I dread walking into work! I get sooooooooooo annoyed when she says Good Morning! I know it's the pregnancy! I've never felt this way before about any co-worker! But I just can't stand the girl!
Haha oh you guys, I'm glad I found this thread! I would say my biggest breakdown happened March 15! National Free cone day at Dairy Queen. SO I had plans to meet DH at DQ when he got off, he would invite his high school guys, and I would take my high school girls ( We're youth leaders for a organization called Younglife). Well the girls ended up bailing which was fine because I thought i would still go with DH for a mini date because I knew his guys couldn't go either . I texted him 3-4 times about 30 minutes before he got off telling him to come home so we could go together instead of meeting there. At 7:15 ( he gets off around 6:50pm and works 5 min away) he still wasn't home and I had been patiently waiting dressed and ready to go for like 20min so I called him. When he answered I hear a ton of people in the background and he's eating something!! I'm like " Where are you" and he was like " oh at DQ eating my cone, I met the guys here - are you on your way with the girls??" You guys, I know it's just a free small vanilla cone but I INSTANTLY HAHAHAHA like instantly started bawling. FYI I am by no means I cry baby! Like ever! This is completely out of the ordinary - but I literally start hyperventilating! In between trying to catch my breath I was like " THE... GIRLS.. BAILED AND I WANTED ... TO ... GO .... ON .... A DATEEEEEE WITH YOU..... I WANTED A CONE TOOOOOOO" he says he will be home instantly and literally comes into the house 2 min later in a panic - to clear things up - my texts asking to go with just him NEVER went through!! So he had no idea the girls had bailed or that to wanted to go together. I'm bawling about him ignoring my text, eating ice cream without me, and somehow ended up asking if he even loved me. I ended up busting up laughing because I knew it was stupid but then bawling allllll over again becusse my feelings were actually hurt LOL. Mind you, the whole time he is literally telling me we could go to DQ right then - practically begging me to get in the car / but of course I didn't want to. An hour later I cleaned myself up and we went and got chocolate cake at one place, and then ice cream at another place across town- he's the greatest and I'm crazy! Luckily our beautiful sweet girl will be here soon!!
Re: Let's talk about our breakdowns.
I just started crying at my desk. I do not know how to help this guy anymore than I have been. I've been working OT making notes and steps for him. Following up with him. The works. And now it looks like he may get fired, and I've put in so much time and effort with him. I just want him to get it, or it'll all have been a waste. I'm so frustrated. I just don't understand how if the director of the company you work for specifically calls a mistake out to you, and I remind him yesterday to not make the same mistake again, then how does he then still make it? HOW?! It's literally typing a comment in a spreadsheet that says you adjusted a number up or down. All that's needed is to correctly identify if you adjusted a number up or down. This isn't hard! If you changed a number to 30 from 10, then you adjusted it up, not down. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
Fortunately my assistant principal was cool with me having to potentially change my request off as she hadn't submitted for a substitute, yet, but before I heard from her I lost it.
I slept horrible last night, substitute plans are hanging over my head, I'm completely over dealing with any consistent student behavior issues, and I feel like I'm dropping the ball of everything, especially at work.
As long as my sub plans are in order, the last few weeks I have before maternity leave better fly by. I'm done.
And then today I had a total breakdown over my crib from target. I was so excited to finally pick it up with DH and put it together. It's kind of the last thing we really need before LO comes and I've been stressed about not having a crib yet with only 4 weeks left til my DD. So we pick it up, bring it home, I tear open the box and pull each piece out only to realize that the hardware pouch with all the necessary screws and tools is missing. I then spend another 30 minutes in complete denial while rummaging through all the packaging and pieces to be extra sure that it's really missing. Then I just went on a total temper tantrum, which pretty much never happens. Crying? Sure, I cry when I'm disappointed in situations like this. Yelling while sobbing and kicking the stupid crib box while my poor husband is trying and failing to calm me down? Never. I felt so bad and apologized profusely later but I just couldn't stop myself at the time. It's like hormones took over my body and decided that this injustice from the crib manufacturers was the worst crime ever committed against me. I didn't calm down until after I had angrily put all the crib pieces and packaging back in the box, taped it up and kicked the box a couple more times.
That, and all the nicknames and comments I keep getting from people. I know they're joking but it's not funny to me because I'd rather NOT have this in the homestretch. I just wanna say a big STFU to everyone who has said something.
On top of that, all this bad luck has been happening to DH and me. We saw yesterday that someone did a hit and run on our car in the parking deck, so now we have a huge dent on our brand new 2016 SVU...
Not to mention, I'm staying at my parent's house so they can help me during this time. My mom has helped but not without snarky remarks and being a straight up B, like I'm being a burden. I am going insane. I want OUT. I would rather climb my house stairs 9 months pregnant to go shower and live in my living room than stay at that their damn house any longer, just because it's one story.
Also, for some reason, I keep seeing stillborn stories and late losses and it's freaking. me. out.
My LO is moving a ton and I'm scared I'm going to wake up one day and he won't be moving. It's completely irrational but I can't help my anxiety.
I never thought the emotions would get to me, but they are. I feel like I have no one to lean on but DH and I'm scared to death I'm going to have PPD.
My dad has been pretty supportive, he definitely helps without complaints or questions.
My mom, on the otherhand, has a problem with thinking she's joking but it really hurts feelings or comes off as rude. Unfortunately, when you try to tell her that she's being rude and hurting feelings, she gets defensive because it's only a joke in her eyes so your feelings shouldn't be hurt. Therefore, I've just given up. Strangely, that's how she ruined our pregnancy announcement surprise for them. Which I still resent her for that.
DH is staying with me or else, I probably would have ran away by now. Or rode my scooter back to my house since it's my right foot and I can't drive
Then I drive an hour home and my house is a mess because all I do is come home and crash because by the end of the day my hips are killing me and I'm too tired to do anything but sleep.
This is the longest week ever. I'm ready to be on leave and just start snuggling with my new baby.
thank you again!!